Toilets With Threatening Auras

September 8, 2018 8:27 AM

@scarytoilet (SL Twitter)

Alternate Facebook link for those so inclined.

posted by mandolin conspiracy (26 comments total)

I mean, I'm not mad at the one with all the toilet paper rolls hanging everywhere. That's just convenient.
posted by Fizz at 8:29 AM on September 8, 2018 [5 favorites]

Those toilets all look like they have seen some shit.
posted by srboisvert at 8:34 AM on September 8, 2018 [8 favorites]

I'm now imagining the climax of The Fifth Element taking place here.
posted by phooky at 8:36 AM on September 8, 2018 [4 favorites]

"Come play with us, Danny!"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:36 AM on September 8, 2018 [4 favorites]

We all float down here.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:41 AM on September 8, 2018 [6 favorites]

The combination Sink Urinal is actually brilliant. Fight me.
posted by SansPoint at 8:57 AM on September 8, 2018 [7 favorites]

I wanted to believe this one was an optical illusion but I think that was too optimistic.
posted by saturday_morning at 9:06 AM on September 8, 2018 [1 favorite]

My dad made a grave error in describing to the 3-yr-old me how my great-grandfather’s mobile home’s incinerating toilet worked. Talk about threatening auras...
posted by hwyengr at 9:16 AM on September 8, 2018 [2 favorites]

The combination Sink Urinal is actually brilliant. Fight me.

If you're tall enough, ALL sinks are Sink Urinal.
posted by some loser at 9:36 AM on September 8, 2018 [7 favorites]

I really, really want to know more about the conformal vinyl (?) sculpture of a nude man ready to welcome you onto the toilet. It appears in two versions here (one with erection!/NSFW), and is, uh, resistant to ready Googling.

Where is it from? Who is responsible for devoting time and energy to creating this atrocity? Why??
posted by adamgreenfield at 9:46 AM on September 8, 2018 [2 favorites]

I wish I'd been able to get a picture of the toilets at Finsbury Park for this before they were torn down. In a triumph of vandal-proof design, they were entirely made of metal with a glass roof instead of windows, which meant that on sunny days, every surface became too hot to touch. Because the doors expanded in the heat, they often jammed as well. My god-daughter called them the Red-hot Toilets of Death.
posted by Fuchsoid at 9:55 AM on September 8, 2018 [8 favorites]

If you're tall enough, ALL sinks are Sink Urinal.

For the shorter in stature, sink urinal is just a step stool away.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:57 AM on September 8, 2018 [1 favorite]

This Twitter feed is literally the stuff of my nightmares. Followed.
posted by ejs at 10:16 AM on September 8, 2018 [1 favorite]

I would install the disco ball throne in my house in a heartbeat. If I had a house, anyway, I'm not sure my building management would appreciate its magnificence.
posted by Basil Stag Hare at 10:41 AM on September 8, 2018 [2 favorites]

The combination Sink Urinal is actually brilliant. Fight me.

You might appreciate the Bar Trough.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:49 AM on September 8, 2018 [1 favorite]

Getting the sink/urinal heights right would be tricky without having the sink too high for short people and the urinal too low for others. Offsetting the sink to the side might work better.

This one would not raise your house value, though it would be convenient.
posted by Dip Flash at 11:33 AM on September 8, 2018

I live near the "wacky theme hotel" the Madonna Inn, whose most famous feature is the urinal in its restaurant men's room. It certainly gives the adjacent toilets a 'special aura'.

For the record, the entire urinal.net site is impressive and NOT twitter-or-facebook-based. Previous and classic.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:47 AM on September 8, 2018 [4 favorites]

I don't think the ones with colored lighting are particularly ominous, but I could be biased. During my first year of college, one of my roommates brought a blue LED ropelight for decoration. We discussed various options for how to use it, but ultimately settled on wrapping it around the base of the toilet. We called it Space Toilet. In addition to looking like a time-traveling toilet from the future, it was actually pretty useful; it provided just enough light that you could use the bathroom at night without turning on the overhead light.
posted by dephlogisticated at 11:58 AM on September 8, 2018 [4 favorites]

Saw this yesterday and new I should have moved on it quickly. Poop.
posted by Going To Maine at 1:46 PM on September 8, 2018 [1 favorite]

I live near the "wacky theme hotel" the Madonna Inn, whose most famous feature is the urinal in its restaurant men's room.

That kinda looks like a...repurposed fireplace.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:59 PM on September 8, 2018 [1 favorite]

As regards some of the listings at urinal.net, this conversation just happened in our house...

Me, shouting from office: "Hon, are you familiar with [municipal washroom X]?"

Him, shouting from living room: "Yeah. I've done an accessibility audit on it. Why?"

Me: "I'm looking at urinals someone posted to Metafilter."

Him: "Of course you are."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:02 PM on September 8, 2018 [11 favorites]

Missing the bathroom of the Rimsky-Korsakoffee House in Portland, which literally made me shriek.
posted by naoko at 3:45 PM on September 8, 2018

I saw this night light the other day at Walmart. I love Christmas lights and colored votive candle holders, but somehow I just can't see this as elite decor.
And if eight colors aren't enough, you can splash out for 16 colors in carousel mode, plus UV disinfection and air freshener -- whoo hoo!
posted by TrishaU at 7:00 PM on September 8, 2018 [1 favorite]

I both want to and don't want to see this toilet paper roll in use
posted by numaner at 7:05 PM on September 8, 2018

As a neat-freak type person with anxieties about being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no clean and usable toilets, this twitter is nightmare fuel for me.
posted by tickingclock at 5:24 AM on September 9, 2018 [1 favorite]

Once worked on a house for a wealthy gentleman in LA. He told us he was ordering a custom toilet from Japan and we just figured it would play music and have integrated bidet features. When it arrived we opened the crate and installed a toilet shaped like a pair of ruby red lips. Client meetings were difficult after that.
posted by q*ben at 9:35 AM on September 9, 2018 [2 favorites]