Staying in bed is something I feel very strongly about

September 15, 2018 9:13 AM

Some tips she shared in advance of the proposed blog launch included stowing all morning and evening skin care products in a nightstand basket, setting up a coffee-making station within reach, and avoiding the shower. “Showering requires being upright, as well as being SPRAYED with WATER!” she points out. “You can lay down in the bath, throw some bubbles in, almost as good as bed.” The homebody economy, explained.
posted by Juso No Thankyou (49 comments total)

In which the movie "true stories" is demonstrated to be far more prescient than we dared imagine...

(Couldn't find a clip with the woman ergo devices to stay in bed forever and live of the home shopping network, but did find this lovely Spalding Grey scene...)
posted by kaibutsu at 9:40 AM on September 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

Huge fan of the bed-centered lifestyle, here.

I don’t have food prep within arm’s reach, or take soak baths on the reg, or anything. But three pillows, an upholstered headboard, and an iPad connected to the internet and I’m happily ensconced abed for hours at a time. A large patio door offers a view out on the greenery of the lawn, which at 106 degrees outside, is quite sufficient interaction with it, thank you.

Sure, I’d like to go out and see people. But as the article mentions, that means getting dressed to drive somewhere, and usually spend money, as there are no convenient, non-commercial spaces nearby except for the scorching park or the kiddie-swarmed pool. The library and museum and shopping mall were fun for a while but they’re not so much for making connections with others.

I’m not sure what the right venue would be. Where else could I repose in relative safety and comfort, with all of the creature comforts at hand, without having to pay someone extra money for the privilege, and get to connect and interact with cool, interesting people? Visiting friends’ homes and relaxing on their sofa is probably the best of both worlds.
posted by darkstar at 9:59 AM on September 15, 2018 [16 favorites]

Personally, I find staying in with my Dickens novels and bedazzled tortoise very aesthetically satisfying.
posted by betweenthebars at 10:20 AM on September 15, 2018 [9 favorites]

I'd post something ranty and irritating about this and maybe blame the millenials for something, but I'm still in bed.

Someone bring me some coffee and we'll talk.
posted by loquacious at 10:34 AM on September 15, 2018 [4 favorites]

Darkstar; may I tell you about hammocking? I’m considering keeping breakfast-makings close enough to the bed to eat a little on waking as I frequently lay asleep long enough to be hangry on waking.
posted by Iteki at 10:47 AM on September 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

As usual, the younguns think they invented everything.
posted by HotToddy at 10:48 AM on September 15, 2018 [7 favorites]

We don’t think we invented everything, older men in marketing do.
posted by gucci mane at 11:03 AM on September 15, 2018 [35 favorites]

As a Gen X early adopter/advocate of the bed-centered lifestyle, I salute you youngsters for taking up the mantle.

posted from my hammock using my laptop, which is in my lap atop an artisanal custom-made hardwood lap board
posted by monopas at 11:28 AM on September 15, 2018 [6 favorites]

Unfortunately I'm not in my hammock, but I have a floofy cat and it's gently raining and it is almost noon.
posted by loquacious at 11:34 AM on September 15, 2018 [10 favorites]

One of the benefits of being a writer has always been the ability to work in bed, although the knowledge economy now extends that privilege to many more. I have spent much of many working weeks horizontal, seguing into leisure and back with the lightest of whims, and it is winning at life.
posted by Devonian at 11:38 AM on September 15, 2018 [5 favorites]

when can we return to the halcyon days of being borne everywhere on a lavish curtained litter by strapping comely youths
posted by poffin boffin at 11:52 AM on September 15, 2018 [38 favorites]

I'm reminded of the character in "Harriet the Spy" who was a rich lady who decided to stay in bed for the rest of her life, until she had a visit from her doctor who told her that sadly she would be confined to bed for the rest of her life, at which point she got up and started living her life again.
posted by Daily Alice at 11:53 AM on September 15, 2018 [19 favorites]

I decided to check MetaFilter (again) instead of getting out of bed, but it is almost 3 in the afternoon, so maybe I should get moving for the day. (My other alternative, as mentioned above, is getting back to Dickens: Pictures From Italy, chapter 5.)
posted by LeLiLo at 11:59 AM on September 15, 2018

I immediately thought of Harriet the Spy too! "My dear, I shall take to my bed!"

I also thought of Charlotte Perkins Gilman and wondered what she would think of all this. I guess the women of her day who were prescribed bed rest weren't allowed to write, though.
posted by frobozz at 12:17 PM on September 15, 2018

oh yeah being legitimately confined to bed is fucking garbage, extremely tiresome and vexatious. you must CHOOSE to SNOOZE or it is invalid.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:22 PM on September 15, 2018 [26 favorites]

My back has been an asshole all week since I got back from my bike trip, so I'm actually rather sick of laying in bed, hence, I got out and will have some coffee and eat some fancy medible gummies my friend gave me and then I will snorgle the cat some more.

The internet has been spotty, though, and this is interfering with my bing watching of cosmology/astrophysics documentaries. The ones about black holes give me cool, weird dreams.
posted by loquacious at 12:26 PM on September 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

One of the strange delights I’ve learned as I’ve grown older is recognizing drowsiness when reading in bed, and not feeling like I had to fight it. I don’t know why, but my younger self always felt it important to struggle to stay awake.

Nowadays, I catch myself “resting my eyes” for more than a few seconds and my response is just to calmly and with satisfaction set aside the iPad, turn off the lamp, and snuggle into the covers.
posted by darkstar at 12:27 PM on September 15, 2018 [16 favorites]

I say this as someone who has flirted with "shut-in wrapped in tattered blankets" status several times, and to whom it still seems strongly alluring:

This way lies madness.
posted by ryanshepard at 12:33 PM on September 15, 2018 [12 favorites]

I love the acceptance among millennials that having a cozy bed and home space is important and valuable, but the bed is not the universal space for everything unless you don't have other spaces. It's super nice to have a proper desk for focused work, and individual stations in the studio for sewing, woodworking, clay, etc. Which is not to say that I don't do half of my email triage supine on the couch that we specifically selected for its encouragement of lassitude.
posted by a halcyon day at 1:09 PM on September 15, 2018 [5 favorites]

The only thing better than reading Dickens in bed, would be listening to Dickens being read in bed.
Just sayin'.
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 1:25 PM on September 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

@a halcyon day:

Yes, I would like that too, but I can't afford a space like that now. That's probably similar for several in my cohort, due to the familiar evils. So, the bed it is!
posted by yueliang at 1:30 PM on September 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

oh god no.. no. just no. I use my bed for the 4-6 hours my body mandates and then it's out of there. I'd go starkers if I tried to lay in bed for any actual length of time.
posted by drewbage1847 at 3:23 PM on September 15, 2018 [4 favorites]

oh yeah being legitimately confined to bed is fucking garbage, extremely tiresome and vexatious.

I have a cold and am confining myself to my house, and even with being able to be up on my feet and moving around (necessary when you need to blow your nose every 5 minutes) that's still bad enough.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:28 PM on September 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

It seems that a good chunk of this is driven by internet delivery services, but the other chunk is probably good old poverty. Hard to want to go out and do things when most of your income goes to rent, food, and student loans.
posted by rockindata at 3:49 PM on September 15, 2018 [6 favorites]

Yeah, and the article mentions the service economy too - if you have to be social at work it's hard to see being social as something fun to do.

I stay in when I'm tired and stressed out after a long day, but I need to get out on the weekends or I'm very unhappy.
posted by subdee at 4:34 PM on September 15, 2018 [5 favorites]

Those netfilx socks are WILD. We're living in the future, ya'll.
posted by Grandysaur at 4:47 PM on September 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

> rockindata:
"It seems that a good chunk of this is driven by internet delivery services, but the other chunk is probably good old poverty. Hard to want to go out and do things when most of your income goes to rent, food, and student loans."

That's the point of TFA. Not that staying in bed is cool or something "millennials" or other people choose spontaneously, but rather a reaction to the decay of quality of life, lack of money, free time and public spaces. In the aggregate, this is not a good thing, for civic life,physical and mental health, and general happiness.
posted by signal at 4:56 PM on September 15, 2018 [13 favorites]

It's very American that when hikikomori phenomenon reaches their shores they figure out how to make money off of it within a month.
posted by Space Coyote at 5:36 PM on September 15, 2018 [4 favorites]

The word Instagram appears way too many times in that article. Makes me tired, I think I'll go for a lie-down.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:01 PM on September 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

If this means you never have to make the bed, I’m in.
posted by elphaba at 7:02 PM on September 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

I’m having a really hard time digesting the fact that this isn’t satire.
posted by MexicanYenta at 7:14 PM on September 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

The article drifts back and forth between being about taking extreme measures to spend more time in bed, having a very comfy bed as a status symbol, and just not having the energy or money to go out. I’m really glad it got around to talking about the fucked up state of our nation eventually. We need to work too many jobs and expectations of us are higher at those jobs than they were in the past so you can’t just show up hungover or high and skate through your shift that paid you a living wage for not needing to do that much. Now we have work in the morning.

Also a lot of the current young adults under 38 (or “millennials”) were raised in an environment that said going out was dangerous and strangers were going to hurt you. I am a millennial adult and I was taught this and I still have it in my unconscious. Outside is where all those people got killed whose stories were beamed into my eyes 24 hours a day for 30 years.
posted by bleep at 7:20 PM on September 15, 2018 [7 favorites]

My grandfather lived this life for 20 years, although it was more easy chair than specifically bed. It killed him. Get out of that bed and walk around some if you are able to do so!
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:52 PM on September 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

I’m having a really hard time digesting the fact that this isn’t satire.

Stop sleeping on my lawn you damn kids!
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:08 PM on September 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

For me, staying in bed is like any other tempting thing: hard to resist and I indulge in it muchly, but I generally regret it in the end. For one thing, it’s difficult to fall asleep and sleep soundly when you’ve spent the entire day resting. And for another, there are things I enjoy doing outside when I get over my homebound inertia.

Not sure how well staying in bed ties in with self-care, because it generally makes me feel as bad as pigging out on junk food. I do think ties in with smartphone addiction, and that there will be a backlash in the next few years. Hopefully towards parks and arts and social services and community building, and generally, things that involve healthy human connection but don’t cost a ton of money.
posted by mantecol at 8:49 PM on September 15, 2018 [4 favorites]

I have a sneaking suspicion that this is how the Matrix happens: the wombification of American private life reaches its logical extreme.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:09 PM on September 15, 2018 [4 favorites]

I see your Harriet The Spy and raise you Charlie Bucket's grandparents. The extreme opposite of a Millennial.
posted by Brocktoon at 11:14 PM on September 15, 2018 [8 favorites]

I don't have the upper back flexibility to be comfortable in that reclined "propped up on pillows" position in bed, or leaning in a tub, but I assure you I can be just as lazy and isolated sitting at my kitchen table.
posted by batter_my_heart at 12:00 AM on September 16, 2018 [4 favorites]

I'd also guess that the mobility required to find jobs these days prevents people from building real life friendships to the degree they did in the past which in turn forces them to rely upon online friends for support
posted by Ferreous at 4:35 AM on September 16, 2018 [4 favorites]

As someone who spends a lot of time on my bed out of medical necessity, I can appreciate the benefits this trend brings to people like me (those who can afford pricey home delivery services and live in areas where they're available, at least) while simultaneously cringing at the talk of being "indulgent" and "lazy". "Lazy" in particular is a very loaded word for many of us who spend a lot of time at home/in bed for health reasons.
posted by camyram at 8:59 AM on September 16, 2018 [2 favorites]

CHOOSE to SNOOZE

I think i've found my new favourite slogan t-shirt!
posted by Ziggy500 at 9:52 AM on September 16, 2018 [2 favorites]

If someone would like for me, an obstinate Millenial who seems to never relish a single part of my day and has no utter consquences of society to deal with, to get out of my bed, PLEASE buy me a two bedroom apartment complete with day reading nook, please! What a handsome gift, and I will forever thank you for it.

Also donate to a bunch of disability rights organizations while you are at it. In my name.
posted by yueliang at 3:04 PM on September 16, 2018 [5 favorites]

I’m both too naturally stir crazy, claustrophobic and afflicted by FOMO to ever truly understand this. But then again, I don’t have any fancy sheets and my liquor store doesn’t deliver.
posted by thivaia at 4:42 PM on September 16, 2018 [1 favorite]

I have noticed this increased preference for staying at home in myself - interesting that it's enough of a 'thing' for them to be writing hot takes about. For me, this is an age-thing, as well as a thing connected to my slightly better control over my anxiety. In my 20s I used to hate staying at home and my co-workers used to joke about how I was the busiest, social butterfly-est person they knew. But this was in truth more about how I wanted to avoid being alone in my apartment with my thoughts. As I've grown older and, perhaps, slightly better at managing my anxiety I am much more comfortable alone at home with my thoughts. I'm also more aware of money so staying at home is a good option for me as I know I'm less likely to spend money (although online shopping and Uber Eats is very much a thing). It's really not an Instagram-worthy thing, no one wants to see my gross old too-short pyjamas and foraged snacks (dry cereal, anyone?).
posted by Ziggy500 at 3:55 AM on September 17, 2018 [2 favorites]

WTF is a "mimosa spoon"?

As an antsy person, this article had almost nothing I could understand on a personal level. Even My Year of Rest and Relaxation didn't work for me; I couldn't stand what a jerk the narrator was, and didn't finish it.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:46 PM on September 17, 2018

I wrote my dissertation sitting on my bed in my studio apartment. I lived in <300 sq ft for so long that now that I'm in a 1-br, I forget that I can sit on my couch instead of my bed. It's such a habit.
posted by pemberkins at 3:01 PM on September 17, 2018 [3 favorites]

Nowadays, I catch myself “resting my eyes” for more than a few seconds and my response is just to calmly and with satisfaction set aside the iPad, turn off the lamp, and snuggle into the covers.

I wish I was responsible enough to recognise this feeling and act appropriately. Instead, I have on many occasions rudely woken myself up after dropping my Kindle on my nose.
posted by like_neon at 5:36 AM on September 18, 2018 [4 favorites]

I think we can all agree that farting in the bath is the very best place to fart.
posted by biffa at 4:01 PM on September 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

No we can not. The stench of farts though bubble bath is unspeakably foul. It's only okay if there's someone else in the tub to share the pain.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 3:31 PM on September 19, 2018