The traditional start of the Christmas season (9pm tonight)
October 25, 2018 4:59 AM   Subscribe

It is time! The Christmas season traditionally starts with global megastar Peter Andre turning on the lights somewhere (Spalding). With less than nine weeks till the day, the clocks go back, gritters do test runs, vaginas are winterized, occasions merge, Le Arctic Blast approaches from the north, the John Lewis ad is London-themed and Brits get their flu jab while planning Christmas TV viewing (being filmed). But lo! Supermarkets (not all) fill with foods (buyer/eater beware) such as brussels sprouts tea, cheese advent calendars, candy canes, vegan turkey and stuffing tortilla chips, things topped in prosecco, mince pie ice cream and other compared foods. Or make a Christmas pudding cheesecake while listening to the carols of Shatner/Pop. Seasons greetings, MeFites! (previously)
posted by Wordshore (75 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite


 
I skipped right to the Shatner link. Now I know what I'm buying EVERYBODY for Christmas.
posted by JanetLand at 5:25 AM on October 25, 2018 [5 favorites]


No no no no no, flag this and any post before turkey day, flag whoever the fork is Peter Andre, flag any nutcracker musak (sorry if you're in rehearsals) flag flag flag noooooo
posted by sammyo at 5:26 AM on October 25, 2018 [20 favorites]


It is time!

(sets snooze alarm for six weeks, goes back to sleep)
posted by LeLiLo at 5:32 AM on October 25, 2018 [14 favorites]


...whoever the fork is Peter Andre...

Peter has enjoyed international success for a quarter of a century, and will be touring arena including Butlins in Skegness early in 2019. Peter enjoys gardening.
posted by Wordshore at 5:41 AM on October 25, 2018 [6 favorites]


...whoever the fork is Peter Andre...

Endless tabloid drama vis-a-vis Katie Price / Jordan and this.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:48 AM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Alas, Christmas has broken through the Halloween barrier and can no longer be contained. Eventually it will start creeping towards Easter. Then all is lost.

I am actually feeling super Christmassy this year. It helps that I never took the garland or lights down from around my curtain poles last year, because they looked so nice, so my Halloween bats are currently nestled in fake pine needles and twinkle lights.
posted by stillnocturnal at 5:49 AM on October 25, 2018 [10 favorites]


flag this and any post before turkey day

While I get it, that’s very us-centric. The post had me thinking about how in the UK there’s nothing to impede the run up to the Christmas season, where here in the US the traditionally bigger Halloween celebration, plus our November Thanksgiving, used to really stage out the autumn and delay most non-retail talk of Christmas. But I’m refkecting that one reason Christmas is just a bigger cultural deal in the UK is that it really dominates the whole calendar of the last quarter of the year in ways that don’t happen in the US.
posted by Miko at 5:49 AM on October 25, 2018 [15 favorites]


But sod all this, not matter what the inconvenience, I will only ever do my Christmas shopping/prep in December now. As the man said... Bah, humbug!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:53 AM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


I mean, if you're planning to do a Christmas Fruitcake *properly* it could already be considered too late.
posted by stillnocturnal at 5:58 AM on October 25, 2018 [8 favorites]


My aunt (who seemed elderly at the time and is of very advanced years now) nearly always got me a Readers Digest subscription for Christmas, except for 1996 when she completely out-of-the-blue got me a membership to the Peter Andre official fan club. I wasn't quite into the horrible teenage coolness years then so I was very enthusiastic about it, which bought me another five or so years of membership. Eventually made my way on to the fan forum when things went online, they were a lovely bunch.

As the man said... Bah, humbug!

Only five weeks until I'm officially allowed to watch the Greatest Christmas film ever (it's the Muppets, anything else is wrong, glad we could get this settled so early in the season).
posted by threetwentytwo at 5:58 AM on October 25, 2018 [4 favorites]


That mince pie ice cream from Lidl is fantastic.

especially on mince pies
posted by Katemonkey at 5:59 AM on October 25, 2018 [5 favorites]


flag this and any post before turkey day

... we're not allowed to talk about Christmas until Christmas Day itself?
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 6:00 AM on October 25, 2018 [13 favorites]


Peak Christmas on the tele used to be The Snowman. For the last few years, for quite a few of us, it's the BBC showing of All Aboard! The Sleigh Ride, which is two hours of, well, a sleigh ride. With no commentary, background music, or anything else garish. If it's on this season (on a good day) that will mark the end of my 2018 work; otherwise, will buy a copy and watch it myself at a convenient time.
posted by Wordshore at 6:04 AM on October 25, 2018 [5 favorites]


The Fortunately podcast had a lovely conversation about winter vagina.
posted by arcticseal at 6:05 AM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


I spent a Christmas at a college roommate's home in Herefordshire about 15 years ago. Pretty sure I ate an entire tin of Quality Street while I was there. That's what English Christmas means to me.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:15 AM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


This really IS Christmas in the UK - and I'm ready to buy the mince pie ice cream. Also it's an open secret but Greggs has mince pies all year long.
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 6:20 AM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]


No.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 6:31 AM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


OK, still looking to be Head of Christmas at John Lewis if anyone has the hook-up!
posted by droplet at 6:40 AM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Um, yum? Oh, this looks much better.
posted by Wordshore at 6:41 AM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Obviously SOME PEOPLE didn't get the memo. Due to competing traditions and a general loss of interest in holidays (holiday burnout is a thing). It has been decided that THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! fall holiday festival and it is Dia de los Muertos! Please adjust your holiday plans accordingly.
posted by evilDoug at 7:04 AM on October 25, 2018 [5 favorites]


With all the shit we've been through lately, I know we We need a little Christmas*.

My lights have been up on my porch all year but I haven't bought any new estate sale Christmas decor this year!


*Like the good parts (food, music, toastiness, good smells etc) , not family drama, capitalism, etc...
posted by vespabelle at 7:13 AM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


No! I've been officially "not yet late" in starting to make Christmas presents because people in knitting forums are still saying "getting an early start on my Christmas gifts this year!" It's not allowed to be Christmas season yet! I still have time!
posted by brook horse at 7:25 AM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


I haven't given a single thought to Christmas yet and refuse to until at least Light Up Night.
posted by octothorpe at 7:47 AM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


The tree for Covent Garden has been selected; it is from Solihull and will eventually have 30,000 lights on it.
posted by Wordshore at 7:53 AM on October 25, 2018


WHOA

I have never heard of the BBC "All Aboard! The Sleigh Ride" but now I want to get the full program somewhere and watch it all day on a screen in my peripheral vision, every day until mid-January.

I will be visiting my parents in November, and will have to rifle through their storerooms until I find the foil hanging ceiling Christmas garlands (like this) that we bought in York like thirty years ago.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:56 AM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]


Hey, what's up wth the "cheese" tag on this post? Do you put that on all your FPPs, Wordshore??
posted by wenestvedt at 7:57 AM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


For the last few years, for quite a few of us, it's the BBC showing of All Aboard! The Sleigh Ride , which is two hours of, well, a sleigh ride. With no commentary, background music, or anything else garish.

This seems like an awesome evolution of the fireplace videos that become common around Christmas on some of my local channels.
posted by nubs at 8:03 AM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]


I have never heard of the BBC "All Aboard! The Sleigh Ride" but now I want to get the full program somewhere and watch it all day on a screen in my peripheral vision, every day until mid-January.

Yes! It was shown on Christmas Eve in 2015 and 2016, but annoyingly on December 16th last year. Hoping it is restored to Christmas Eve this year; otherwise, it's a tenner to buy the DVD.

It's two hours long, filmed around 200 miles north of the arctic circle in Norway, and the cameras are either on a sleigh or on drones.

It's not to everyone's taste; if you want continuous car chases, explosions, background music and/or Jason Statham, then you will hate it. If you want something beautiful, calming and interesting, then you may very well like it.
posted by Wordshore at 8:06 AM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


the fireplace videos that become common around Christmas

They even come with animals now.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:17 AM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


The traditional start of the Christmas season (9pm tonight) October 25, 2018

sammyo: No no no no no, flag this and any post before turkey day

El Paso, Texas is trying to push Christmas back to November 2-4, which I saw on Oct. 10 and said to myself "oh, hell no."

Of course, Walmart has a jump on even that, and encourages you to "make Halloween Fang-tastic" while you can also buy a fake Christmas tree and winter holiday decorations, as seen on Oct. 6.

But New Mexico was happy join in the holiday confusion with a festive dash of snow on Oct. 15. Why not, 2018's weird enough, why hold back?

The snow melted the next day, and we're back to (mostly) blue skies and autumnal leaves (Oct. 22, before we got an inch+ of rain, which is A Big Deal in these parts (most of the state is still in some level of drought).


All that said, we're also Team Winter Holiday Spirit, but we limit that to putting up our fake, pre-lit Christmas tree in November, a tradition we started in 2016 to light our spirits after the tragic election results. Ornaments came later, as we enjoyed the sparkly white lights on our Christmas tree for a week or two.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:20 AM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


We go out to cut down a live pine tree to be our Christmas tree on the weekend after American Thanksgiving, and keep it up for a month.

The big family Thanksgiving is held at our house, which takes a bunch of prep & planning...but the Christmas music starts to creep in even before the big day. I blame the Hallmark Channel, which is already plumping for its Christmas-themed movies!
posted by wenestvedt at 8:31 AM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Hey, what's up wth the "cheese" tag on this post? Do you put that on all your FPPs, Wordshore??

The link to the cheese advent calendars in the FPP. Bonus! A video review of what is inside the advent calendar.
posted by Wordshore at 9:27 AM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]


This week a huge, naked public Christmas tree has appeared in the square of the tiny Stockholm suburb where I live. I don't know when it gets lights or decorations or whatever, but I was pretty surprised that it is in place already. Because it is late October and I imagine this tree will be highly dried out and flammable by December 24th. Snow is in no way guaranteed between now and then.
posted by Bella Donna at 9:30 AM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Then of course another battle in The Hundred Years' War on Christmas also begins! Even Pope Francis has gotten involved

Keep in mind these important battle tactics.

ABC - Always be Caroling.
Watch inspiring War on Christmas movies with your family.
posted by brookeb at 9:50 AM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]


IMPORTANT: I have been informed by a cousin who works in logistics in Tesco that Easter Eggs should be on the shelves by:

- Wednesday 2nd January (England)
- Thursday 3rd January (Scotland)

Basically, in ten weeks time. Roll (no pun intended) on Easter!
posted by Wordshore at 9:54 AM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


Peter Andre? I’m more a Paul Danan man m’self
posted by Middlemarch at 10:07 AM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


I am relatively 100 miles south of where Winnipeg would be if they moved it to Saskatchewan. So we get some serious winter here. And I have never heard of the need to winterize a vagina.
posted by Ber at 10:24 AM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Considering that Costco already starts to Go Full Christmas in September (after sneaking some gift wrapping and chocolate liquor bottles in near the end of August), I think the No-Xmas-stuff-before-Halloween (much less Thanksgiving) battle has already been lost.

Then again, this gives me an excuse to break out A Charlie Brown Christmas as well as other Xmas goodies.
posted by gtrwolf at 11:39 AM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Does this have something to do with Eurovision?
posted by slogger at 11:47 AM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


Hey, grtwolf, maybe you can try this disc for the upcoming holiday season.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:15 PM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


a time to add nog and spices and more peppermint to the cozytime lineup

it is never not time for peppermint
peppermint foreverrrrrrrrrrr
I'm not a big fan of nog, myself, but I do have an excellent recipe if anyone's interested.

Here in the brackish Anglo/US/French puzzlement that is Canada, it's still Halloween but there's no Thanksgiving buffer (since it's held in what-is-still-basically-summer -- though that's admittedly about when Alberta got its first snowfalls -- and it's just culturally not as big a Thing, at least in my experience). So trick-or-treating paraphernalia is desperately trying to hold its territory in the drugstore aisles against the sudden onslaught of the Advent calendars, just as themed tableware sets and harvest tchotchkes were jockeying for space with barbecue equipment and bug spray last month.

There's neither Trader Joe's nor Lidl, though, so I feel I'm missing out twice over on the weird themed Christmas foods. I didn't care much about the relative dearth of pumpkin spice compared to US offerings, but when it comes to Christmas stuff, I've been spoiled; in comparison it's all fairly dull up here. I particularly miss exciting cheeses, and was half-hoping there'd be some seasonal varieties released, but so far, no. There is, at least, tourtière. That is a great balm to the soul. And tins of Quality Street are slowly starting to appear, though I'm studiously ignoring them so far, because that way madness lies. I may have to try making my own mince pie ice cream, though.

Can someone explain how Prosecco became a Christmas thing? Did it seep out of New Year's? I always associate it with summertime.
posted by halation at 12:17 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Still stand with my nooooo but totally down with hauling all the alt eurovision performers together for a big pre-season event that utterly subverts each countries heartfelt marketing traditions. Pretty petite elves in miniskirts and big fluffy beards, psychedelic yule explosions, alt-reindeer, buddhist santas meditating.
posted by sammyo at 12:22 PM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]


Can someone explain how Prosecco became a Christmas thing? Did it seep out of New Year's? I always associate it with summertime.

I'm in the Emperor's New Clothes camp with regards to Prosecco. As previously described I won a bottle and tried it and ... wait a minute, this is just Babycham remarketed. Oh.

But a lot of people - a lot - seem crazily hooked on it. I guess here in Britain, everything comes round again eventually, like dunno flared trousers and {looks at national political news} food rationing.
posted by Wordshore at 12:57 PM on October 25, 2018 [7 favorites]


Wordshore: I guess here in Britain, everything comes round again eventually, like dunno flared trousers and {looks at national political news} food rationing.

In 1986 we went to England for a family vacation and my mom made sure we went to Carnaby Street. Which turned out to be like an alley-shaped mall in a shopping district or something. Once we figured out what had been there we thought she was woefully behind the times -- but I guess she was just a few uh twenty dang, thirty-odd years ahead of the curve again? Good job, Mom!
posted by wenestvedt at 1:06 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


A couple of days ago the local TV anchor said "now that we're putting Halloween behind us and moving on to the Christmas season..."

People are freakin weird.
posted by bongo_x at 1:18 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


I am not a fan of US Thanksgiving (don't like the food, don't care about football, meh) so literally the only purpose it serves for me is to provide a handy day after which Christmas Happens. But I'm increasingly alone in being willing to wait that long to listen to carols/shop/put up decor. The thing is, I love all those things and don't want them spoiled by overexposure.

We've had constant rain this month though, so it's as gray as winter all the time. I could be persuaded to put up some white sparkle lights just for cheer.
posted by emjaybee at 2:08 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


so i fell in a prosecco research rabbit hole and prosecco-scented holiday candles are a thing i guess? also available as tea lights

you can bask in their twinkle as you sip your prosecco cocktail out of your special holiday glassware and nibble at your chocolate prosecco and strawberries gift set while wearing your prosecco pride as a pin

holiday cultural marketing is so bizarre
posted by halation at 2:46 PM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


The first time I hear that goddamned Paul McCartney Christmas song in a public place before December, I'll take a shit right then and there.

Fair warning.
posted by delfin at 2:49 PM on October 25, 2018 [5 favorites]


I see the guy who (allegedly) celebrates Christmas every day is (allegedly) still going.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:55 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Well; it has happened. The people have gathered at the tree and seen Peter. Reviews are ... mixed ... but the Christmas lights are on and that's what matters. It's time.

Merry Christmas, MeFites (even those in denial)!
posted by Wordshore at 2:55 PM on October 25, 2018 [4 favorites]


Is this like Canadian Thanksgiving, where the holiday comes a month earlier because of the metric system?
posted by Huffy Puffy at 3:01 PM on October 25, 2018 [4 favorites]


Is there any place I can watch the BBC "All Aboard! The Sleigh Ride"? YouTube only seems to have the two-minute preview, unfortunately.

And the DVD is Region 2, so it wouldn't play here in the US of A, as far as I know. :7(
posted by wenestvedt at 4:21 PM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


delfin: The first time I hear that goddamned Paul McCartney Christmas song in a public place before December, I'll take a shit right then and there.

Is your username a shortened anagram of DEfecatIN' ELF?
posted by wenestvedt at 4:26 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


The lyrics write themselves, delfin. I'm amazed I restrained myself.
posted by mollweide at 6:51 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Dr. Jen Gunter's insight and advice is my real winter holiday takeaway from this post. Thanks, I gotta go winterize!
posted by riverlife at 7:28 PM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


Winterizing your vagina makes me think of knitting it a tiny sweater and scarf combo.
posted by emjaybee at 8:25 PM on October 25, 2018 [5 favorites]


I always anticipate Wordshore's seasonal references to mince pies. I have no personal experience of mince pies (in Texas) but just the mention gives me a frisson of English Christmas with Monty Python undertones. Felitious Delicious!
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:08 PM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]


I like inexpensive prosecco better than inexpensive champagne, so I like to trot out a bottle around the holidays for use in various cocktails, like my beloved French 75, the Poinsettia, and of course, the obligatory mimosas (we're big fans of Christmas Brunch around here).

That said, I still have five days to Halloween, my most favorite of favorite holidays, then November is for NaNoWriMo. I'll get in the holiday spirit after I write a murder mystery next month.
posted by PearlRose at 7:03 AM on October 26, 2018 [3 favorites]


Peter Andre

Until fairly recently, my friend was a member of Peter Andre’s touring band. Peter had a Christmas album out and, on Peter’s instructions, at some point close to the end of the show they’d start playing the intro to “Mysterious Girl” [his one big hit that the entire crowd was waiting for] then - once the crowd had gone wild - would merge the intro into a medley of three of Peter’s Christmas songs. They’d do this in every show throughout the year. Going to see Peter Andre in July? Here comes Mysterious Gi — oh wait. Christmas songs!

I think they always did “Mysterious Girl” during the encore. But still.

We go out to cut down a live pine tree to be our Christmas tree on the weekend after American Thanksgiving, and keep it up for a month.

My dad’s midlife crisis was to buy a small piece of woodland. Every Christmas we would go and chainsaw down a full sized pine tree and chop the top off it, instead of shelling out for a regular tree (to this day I’m not convinced that this makes much sense, economically). In case anyone was wondering, let me assure you that - however things might look from the ground - the top of a pine tree doesn’t look much like a christmas tree once it’s in your living room. It looks like the top of a pine tree has grown through your floor, however many balding strings of tinsel you throw over it.
posted by chappell, ambrose at 7:21 AM on October 26, 2018 [4 favorites]


PearlRose - I tried French 75’s for the first time at a party on a beach in Mexico one NYE. The hosts had hired proper professional barmen / mixologists and I (foolishly, drunkenly) asked at the bar whether they could do a cocktail that combined the plentiful quantities of gin and champagne that they had on hand. I woke up the next day convinced that they’d invented French 75’s on the spot, specifically to teach me a lesson about the theoretical upper limits of a hangover.
posted by chappell, ambrose at 7:31 AM on October 26, 2018 [4 favorites]


Well, they did name it after a cannon.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 7:50 AM on October 26, 2018 [5 favorites]


If you enjoy a nice French 75 but have ever thought to yourself, "you know, I'd like this to pack an even more deceptive punch and also make me slightly more hungover," please allow me to introduce you to the Queen's Cousin. They have ruined several of my dinner parties in a most delightfully festive way (and have been specifically banned from Thanksgivings).
posted by halation at 11:12 AM on October 26, 2018 [3 favorites]


Is your username a shortened anagram of DEfecatIN' ELF?

Well, it wasn't BEFORE...
posted by delfin at 12:33 PM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]


please allow me to introduce you to the Queen's Cousin

I have never needed a cocktail in my life more.

Let's just say, if the cocktail bar is a place I trust, I go for French 75s, because a flat French 75 made with bottled lemon juice is no way to live. In those other sorts of establishments, it's Long Island Iced Teas all the way down. The Queen's Cousin sounds like their classy as hell lovechild.

The holidays are where I really test my gentically-gifted ability to dodge hangovers.
posted by PearlRose at 12:50 PM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]


The first time I hear that goddamned Paul McCartney Christmas song in a public place before December, I'll take a shit right then and there.

Speaking of toxic Xmas tunes, I can't be the only one who wished this video ended with the cast members reenacting (the pre-Disney) Frozen.

(Then again, I actually like that goddamned Paul McCartney Christmas song, my soul be darned).
posted by gtrwolf at 12:23 AM on October 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


Yet another sign that we are in the Christmas season - the first hearing, this morning, of Jona Lewie's Stop The Cavalry being played in the supermarket.
posted by Wordshore at 2:01 AM on October 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


I don't think that I could cope living in a country that plays Xmas music in October.
posted by octothorpe at 5:31 AM on October 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


We're definitely in the final stages of the run-up to Christmas now, as several stores are running their Christmas ads on TV. Argos have a weird creature, while Aldi have Kevin the Carrot in some kind of Coca-Cola lorry / Italian Job mashup, and Currys / PC world have gone olde Englande.

(also, less than nine weeks until the first Easter Eggs appear in the supermarkets)
posted by Wordshore at 3:11 PM on November 2, 2018


Went to get the paper from the on-campus shop this morning and the shelves were covered in that sort of cotton woolly stuff they put up as fake snow. British unis are always the worst place for early Xmas since they all break up in fairly early December and they need to get Xmas parties in but there are still 6 weeks of term left this year, so it seems a *bit* early.
posted by biffa at 9:29 AM on November 5, 2018


Saw my first Christmas decoration today in the lobby of my office. Not happy about that.
posted by octothorpe at 9:56 AM on November 5, 2018


The major companies are now releasing their Christmas Adverts.
posted by Wordshore at 10:19 AM on November 9, 2018


Like it or not, it's the Christmas Season now as the John Lewis Christmas Ad dropped overnight. As widely trailed, it's Elton John. Reaction seems positive; personally think it's a big improvement on last year's Moz under the bed confusion.
posted by Wordshore at 12:51 AM on November 15, 2018


Oh, it's not just me... mince pies are officially crap this year

(I've been ill... early mince pies have been for medicinal use only)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:28 AM on November 15, 2018 [1 favorite]


I still have not heard a single Christmas carol so far so there's that.
posted by octothorpe at 4:18 AM on November 15, 2018


A reminder that Jingle Rock Bell is always available if you need to ruin any Christmas playlist.
posted by moonmilk at 8:07 AM on November 15, 2018 [1 favorite]


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