Water tastes like nothing. Why would I drink nothing? What’s the point?
October 31, 2018 1:10 PM   Subscribe

"I’d rather quench my thirst with castor oil than have to take a sip of water. I remember really not liking it from about six or seven and tended to drink a lot of milk as a kid. I’m now in my 30s, and it makes me feel sick to the stomach when I see people constantly 'hydrating' with big, huge bottles of mountain-fresh spring water (shudder)."
Meet the Hydro-Haters: The People Who Refuse to Drink Water, No Matter What [Quinn Myers, MEL Magazine]
posted by Atom Eyes (149 comments total) 30 users marked this as a favorite
 
This is why I have a Sodastream. Carbonation makes water much more interesting. I also put lemon or watermelon or mint or whatever in my water. And lots of lime. That said, these people are taking it a bit to the extreme, and if I'm hot or exerting myself, nothing seems better than just plain cold water. I can't imagine hating it so much that you end up in the hospital from dehydration!
posted by dellsolace at 1:16 PM on October 31, 2018 [8 favorites]


The person from the pull quote is a food blogger. How in the screaming fantod am I supposed to trust a food blogger who can't abide the taste of water?
posted by Etrigan at 1:19 PM on October 31, 2018 [66 favorites]


Disappointed in TFA for not including "Fish fuck in it." I'm panhydrous in that I'll drink it neat, but also in various carbonated forms--I've recently gotten into La Croix.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:21 PM on October 31, 2018 [17 favorites]


Rabies!
posted by WCityMike at 1:24 PM on October 31, 2018 [8 favorites]


Water doesn't taste like nothing, though, it tastes like water. I don't know why it drives me mad when people accuse of water of being flavourless when it clearly has a flavour and that flavour also varies.

I regret "meeting" any of these people. I don't need to add more to the list of people I wish weren't.
posted by GoblinHoney at 1:25 PM on October 31, 2018 [40 favorites]


Implicit in several of the quotes seems to be the assumption that everything has to, or at least should, have a strong and distinct taste. That seems an odd, and to me very limiting, view. A bunch of these people seem to have gotten themselves fixated on one particular dimension of sensation at the expense of texture, temperature, etc. Strange. I'd be willing to bet they also have some... distinct... food preferences as well; if you demand that everything you drink have a very strong taste, of the sort that you can only achieve with artificial flavorings or very strong flavors like wine, coffee, or tea, there's probably a lot of subtlely-flavored foods that are going to taste like "nothing" as well.

Mostly I just feel sorry for these people.

Their dentists are going to make bank off of them, though.
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:25 PM on October 31, 2018 [38 favorites]


ProZD on drinking water. I myself prefer a horie but I understand if you like a vertie while drinking.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 1:26 PM on October 31, 2018 [20 favorites]


I would seriously be okay with insurance covering permanent saline IV's for these people so I never have to engage an article like this again.

multiple people on that page have had to get IV's

Just...help them already lol.
posted by nikaspark at 1:28 PM on October 31, 2018 [20 favorites]


My first thought was that they probably have some genetic quirk in how they taste things. What does it mean that Evian tastes "slimy"? Like, that's a weird thing to say unless you just....taste things oddly. Maybe it's a much rarer version of that thing where cilantro tastes like soap.
posted by Frowner at 1:31 PM on October 31, 2018 [12 favorites]


the fools
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 1:33 PM on October 31, 2018 [4 favorites]


I was lucky enough to grow up in the city with the best tasting tap water in the world, so I'll hear none of this "water has no taste" nonsense.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:34 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


Well, fish do fuck in it, so...
posted by Thorzdad at 1:35 PM on October 31, 2018 [4 favorites]


We fuck in the open air. Should we stop breathing, too?
posted by Celsius1414 at 1:37 PM on October 31, 2018 [29 favorites]


Well, fish do fuck in it, so...

AND I LIKE FISHFUCK WATER OKAY.

jeez why's everyone judging my kink today damn.
posted by nikaspark at 1:37 PM on October 31, 2018 [36 favorites]


I dislike water.

The idea of the guy in the article drinking multiple glasses of milk a day is WAY more disgusting, though. I'm grossed out by people's ability to drink straight milk at all, milk is pretty weird.

I do drink water, but I also tend to kind of "shoot" it or drink it really fast to avoid really tasting it, or I carbonate it, which I do enjoy. I also survive lots of days on a couple cups of coffee and maybe a coke zero?

I have never ended up in the ER, but once both my arms did go numb, and once I couldn't focus my eyes, both of which were cured by drinking some water!

Also, I don't GET thirsty, which I think might be a weird genetic thing. I have to be exerting myself or incredibly hot to feel thirsty!
posted by euphoria066 at 1:39 PM on October 31, 2018 [6 favorites]


Also, I love that that Journal-News website refuses to disclose what state it's in, or even the name of the town. (I mean, I assume it's the Hamilton Journal-News, but only from the dateline on that article.) Presumably the assumption is that if you're reading the Journal-News, you already know where you are.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:39 PM on October 31, 2018 [23 favorites]


My grandfather, who lived much of his adult life in Arizona, didn't like to drink water. He much preferred to hydrate with Keystone Light, which in his older years he walked home from the grocery store on one of those little rolling carts.

I know he didn't care for water but I know he also did not care for the inevitable kidney stones the whole family had predicated and which painfully caught up with him.
posted by Squeak Attack at 1:40 PM on October 31, 2018 [4 favorites]


I don't know why it drives me mad when people accuse of water of being flavourless when it clearly has a flavour and that flavour also varies.

I'm reminded of an old episode of That's Incredible (or some similar early 80s show, maybe Ripley's Believe It Or Not?) where one of the segments was a gentleman who could reliably identify the Great Lakes in a blind taste test.

But I can't identify with the people in the article at all. Over the course of a workday I probably go through 5-6 refills of one of these, just plain old filtered tap water. They also offer us commercially bottled water free, but that always just seemed so wasteful to me.
posted by radwolf76 at 1:44 PM on October 31, 2018 [5 favorites]


These people are very, very silly.

Also, who the hell has coddled them so much they got this far without drinking water normally? I mean, seriously.
posted by uberchet at 1:46 PM on October 31, 2018 [9 favorites]


People who actively dislike the taste of (distilled or nearly) water, or find it slimy -- I worry about their dental health.
posted by clew at 1:47 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


Recent conversation with my 3yo son:

Son: this water is delicious.
Me: Why is it delicious?
Son: because it doesn't have lemon in it.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:48 PM on October 31, 2018 [62 favorites]


Oh! Some time ago I was joking about reproducing Pellegrino with home-carbonated tapwater, and someone on MeFi pointed me to a spreadsheet of the minerals required (relative to the minerals in your tapwater) AND pointed out that Burton water salts are pretty close to Pellegrino, and now I have delicious very-faintly-mineral water that doesn't get shipped around the world. SO HAPPY. THANK YOU.
posted by clew at 1:49 PM on October 31, 2018 [42 favorites]


Yes I find different brands of bottle water have distinct tastes for this reason. Dasani is the best.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:53 PM on October 31, 2018 [4 favorites]


I think a few years ago, this would have been dismissed as a first world problem. But I think it is more useful to see this as another symptom of a rapidly decaying hegemonic colonial state, one which is rotting from within and without.
posted by Ouverture at 1:53 PM on October 31, 2018 [11 favorites]


There is definitely water that tastes "thick" or slimy. Dasani is one that to me has a consistently slimy/slippery taste which is more noticeable if it isn't cold. Other bottled waters I've tried haven't had that taste. Most tap waters have a slightly metallic or earthy taste. I could tell when my husband changed the brand of water filter in our kitchen just by taste. Fizzy mineral water always tastes "dry." Its useless for thirst-quenching. There's one kind of water my mom gets through those office-cooler dispenser services that tastes amazing. It has some kind of minerals added that make it taste cold even if it's not that cold by temperature. But yes, I'm one of those cilantro/soap people.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 1:53 PM on October 31, 2018 [16 favorites]


And Poland springs is the worst.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:53 PM on October 31, 2018


Carbonation makes water much more interesting.

I quit drinking alcohol because of alcoholism and I rarely drink soda because I'm overweight and I don't want teh diabetes and don't like the diet kinds. I used to drink heroic quantities of coffee but since I quit smoking it doesn't appeal as much. So La Croix etc. are pretty much my thing now.

As for the article, God have mercy on them. I have never understood anyone who won't drink water (kids holding out for juice or whatever, I can see that).
posted by thelonius at 1:56 PM on October 31, 2018 [5 favorites]


I used to dislike water unless I was really thirsty. Now, I like it quite a bit. I am glad my daughter prefers water or milk over juice. I drank to much juice growing up. It has so much sugar in it.
posted by Catbunny at 1:57 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


I enjoy drinking water, though lately I've found that I have a strong preference for refrigerated water versus room temperature, or even cold-from-the-tap water.

BUT, when I am sick, one of the first things to change is that I don't like the taste of water. I know I need to hydrate, but I can only do so with a weak hot tea. I can't drink water plain when I'm sick. Maybe there's a bacterial coating in my mouth? This has always been the case, too. I remember as a child, my mom would force me to drink water when I was sick. If only she had offered me tea, I would have been more than happy to drink that than to force down cold plain water.

That being said, I couldn't finish the article due to how annoying those people were. But maybe, just maybe water to them tastes the way it does to me when I'm sick. So I have a few ounces of sympathy for them.
posted by hydra77 at 1:57 PM on October 31, 2018 [7 favorites]


Also, I love that that Journal-News website refuses to disclose what state it's in, or even the name of the town.

I ended up inferring it from the default placement of the traffic map. It's Hamilton, Ohio. I also find it extremely odd that the name of the city or state isn't mentioned on their website directly. Not even their contact page has an address.
posted by WaylandSmith at 1:59 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


Soon enough, they'll stop complaining about all the doofuses lugging giant bottles around all day and start complaining about how painful their kidney and bladder stones are.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:02 PM on October 31, 2018


Personally, if I'm buying a fancy bottled water, I usually go for a cool refreshing Borjomi, whose flavor I am assured by other lesser tasters is like unto homeopathic ocean water.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 2:03 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


This is a hoax.

It has to be.
posted by Keith Talent at 2:04 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


Counterargument: cool, clear water (water, WATER)

I fear for these people if they ever choose to live in or visit a desert.
posted by nicebookrack at 2:04 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


Implicit in several of the quotes seems to be the assumption that everything has to, or at least should, have a strong and distinct taste. That seems an odd, and to me very limiting, view.

I think this must be what underlies some people's distaste for La Croix. "It takes like the ghost of a peach! Like a vague memory of lemon!" Well, yeah. I want something that has a light flavor yet is different from plain water (which I'm fond of as well).
posted by Lexica at 2:05 PM on October 31, 2018 [6 favorites]


Alternate title: Oxygen smells like nothing. Why would I breathe it? What's the point?
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:07 PM on October 31, 2018 [37 favorites]


- Also, I love that that Journal-News website refuses to disclose what state it's in, or even the name of the town.

-- I ended up inferring it from the default placement of the traffic map.


I wound up clicking on the weather icon to reveal the "OH" after Hamilton.
posted by Iris Gambol at 2:08 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


This is a hoax.

Nope.

People have weird food preferences. It extends to water. It's clearly both nature and nurture from the stories these people tell.

I myself don't like most stone fruit. Like, I get that peaches are great and all, but if I take a bite of one I'd just as soon spit it out as swallow it. I dunno. I didn't ask to be like this.

That said, never drinking water ever is pretty fucked up.
posted by GuyZero at 2:09 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


Add me to the “love water but can’t drink it when I’m sick” camp. Can’t put my finger on it but it just tastes bad if I don’t feel well. Otherwise, water is pretty much all I drink most days—and just regular tap water is fine for me.
posted by bookmammal at 2:10 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]


Fish don’t fuck. The males do, however, ejaculate in the water so there’s a good chance you’ve swallowed fish cum.
posted by dephlogisticated at 2:15 PM on October 31, 2018 [14 favorites]


Water tends not to be high on my list of choices for a drink with food. I like my beverages with meals to have a bit of flavor, even if it's just a few dashes of bitters in carbonated water.

But if I'm not eating, tap water is probably my most frequent beverage choice. Room temperature, even.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:16 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]


We almost never drank water in my house when I was growing up. It was always juice, kool-aide, or milk. The only time I'd have water is if I drank it out of a hose while I was playing outside. Also, very few other kids seemed to have water to drink in their houses either. Maybe this was just a weird suburban 80s thing. I only started drinking water once I moved away. I rather prefer it now, and it's all I'll drink apart from an occasional diet Coke or LaCroix.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 2:17 PM on October 31, 2018 [5 favorites]


Every now and then I get a LITTLE more thankful that human exploration of space is slower than we expected.
posted by IShouldBeStudyingRightNow at 2:18 PM on October 31, 2018 [6 favorites]


We almost never drank water in my house when I was growing up.

I too almost never drank plain water growing up. Some days I drink an entire bag of milk when I got home from school (yes Americans, we have milk in bags, it was 1.3 litres, get over it). Maybe it was a middle class thing, I really don't know. But it was definitely A Thing.

Eventually I ran out of things to drink as I cut back on sugar and caffeine. Water's pretty ok.
posted by GuyZero at 2:19 PM on October 31, 2018 [4 favorites]


there’s a good chance you’ve swallowed fish cum.

Having drank heavily treated urban municipal water most of my life, no, not really. By the time it gets to me water has been through enough to destroy lesser substances.
posted by GuyZero at 2:20 PM on October 31, 2018 [4 favorites]


I'm perfectly fine with the tap water here (Toronto) but when I lived in Winnipeg the water tasted so bad. I could understand not wanting to drink the water there. Also when I was living in Kyoto I got a notice in the mail. I asked someone to translate it and they told me it said there was lead in the pipes so you should probably get a filter (which I very promptly did). The water tasted OK though.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:22 PM on October 31, 2018


If I had a nickel for every time I refilled my bidons on a bike ride at some random busted ass water fountain in a park and happily quaffed down warm water of questionable provenance, I'd have like $20.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:22 PM on October 31, 2018 [12 favorites]


Fish don’t fuck. The males do, however, ejaculate in the water so there’s a good chance you’ve swallowed fish cum

I guess that makes water one of my milty pleasures.
posted by Flashman at 2:29 PM on October 31, 2018 [48 favorites]


I used to nearly exclusively drink diet soda (which was a holdover from growing up when nearly all that my parents would buy was diet soda, never regular). At some point in the last several years, though, I started drinking more water and now pretty much drink that exclusively. Tap water is ok, run through a Brita filter tastes better to me.

And yes, a lot of bottled water does taste weird - I've always told my husband it tastes greasy, though maybe slimy is a better adjective for it. Aquafina doesn't seem to have this problem and I will go out of my way (and pay ridiculous sums for small amounts of it, when I really need water) to avoid buying other brands.
posted by tubedogg at 2:30 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles!
posted by subocoyne at 2:32 PM on October 31, 2018 [6 favorites]


I live in the desert. Water is life.
posted by azpenguin at 2:34 PM on October 31, 2018 [6 favorites]


<inhales slowly> <exhales slowly> <powers down doomsday machine>

JFC, it's becoming Poe's Curse
posted by MikeKD at 2:37 PM on October 31, 2018


JFC, it's becoming Poe's Curse

I have no idea what to think about this crazy site now that I look into it:

There’s no playbook for how to be a guy.

But at MEL, we’re trying to figure one out. A lifestyle and culture magazine, we cover sex, relationships, health, money, work and culture from a male point-of-view — even though we’re not all male, and aren’t entirely sure what that means anymore. We tell stories that no one is hearing, share perspectives no one is considering, and illuminate people no one knows. Come here for original content on the topics guys care about the most, for the enjoyment, education and betterment of us all. (We also talk about dicks a lot.)

Thanks for reading. We’re trying our best.

Founded in 2015 in L.A. by Dollar Shave Club.



FOUNDED BY DOLLAR SHAVE CLUB?

WHAT
posted by GuyZero at 2:44 PM on October 31, 2018 [10 favorites]


There was absolutely a time in my adolescent life where I didn't like water. Maybe because our well-water was orange from ochre. We drank a lot of tea, but when it was hot I would ask for something else and be told to put a few drops of lemon in the orange tap-water. Weirdly, we didn't have ice-tea. Now, I drink a liter of water a day, along with all the coffee, tea, juice and wine. My kids prefer water to milk, juice or soda, but they never had to drink ochre.
posted by mumimor at 2:45 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


Yeah the real news here is that MEL is both a real magazine and a content outlet specifically founded to be stuck into your monthly razor blade shipment.

Dollar Shave Club’s men’s magazine “Mel” grows up from Fast Company.
posted by GuyZero at 2:46 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]


Fish Don’t Fuck

Loved their first record, but now I think they've gotten too commercial.
posted by The Bellman at 2:46 PM on October 31, 2018 [19 favorites]


So some people don't like to drink plain water?
Scans article…
.
.
.
Huh, that's mildly odd, but OK. Cool story, bro.  Enjoy that sweet clickbait reward.
*shrug*
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 2:59 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


This article makes me cranky, *chugs from giant glass of ice water* and Ozarka tastes terrible.
posted by haunted by Leonard Cohen at 3:01 PM on October 31, 2018


Loved their first record, but now I think they've gotten too commercial.

A huge departure from the day-long jams of the Phish Don’t Phuck years.
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:04 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


Have fun passing your kidney stones, waterless suckers!
posted by vibrotronica at 3:05 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


I think a few years ago, this would have been dismissed as a first world problem. But I think it is more useful to see this as another symptom of a rapidly decaying hegemonic colonial state

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.
posted by Kadin2048 at 3:08 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


OK, this discussion made me thirsty. Got a nice glass of water, because a) I've already had enough caffeine; b) soda and juice have too much sugar; c) I like milk but I can't keep chugging it all day.
posted by zompist at 3:12 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


Different water tastes different. The best water I have ever had was water from springs in Vermont. It may have been partly that I was a starving teenager hiking the length of the state but I swear to you it was the best ever.
posted by Pembquist at 3:13 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


I-- just-- what?

Maybe these people have never lived anywhere with good water? I couldn't stand the water down south when I visited family, but I guzzle down 4-5 quarts a day (those mason jars with the lid/straw setup) of tap water here in the Pacific Northwest.

I was going to say these people would change their tune after a good kidney stone or two, but then there's the one lady who's had several! WTF.
posted by lovecrafty at 3:17 PM on October 31, 2018


I like water. I have sympathy for people who can't abide it. I'm having trouble having sympathy for about two thirds of the people in this thread-- the ones who hate water-avoiders. What are the underlying premises that cause such a strong reaction?

Anyway, I like most brands of bottled water that I've tried, but Aquafina tastes like plastic. I'm surprised no one has mentioned it.

Philadelphia tap water is alright, but not excellent. It's improved a lot in the past ten years or so.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 3:22 PM on October 31, 2018 [5 favorites]


People in Beijing (maybe all of China, IDK) won't drink cold water. They say it's bad for you - makes too much fire in your gut or something. They typically keep a thermos of very hot water handy when at home for drinking. My suspicion is that they've been boiling the notoriously dirty Beijing water for so long that they've turned that necessity into a virtue.

Of course, since I haven't been over there for about 10 years, somebody may show up to say none of that is true any more, and Beijingers love ice water...

I also used to love Vermont spring water. It's got a lot of limestone in it.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:24 PM on October 31, 2018 [5 favorites]


Oxygen smells like nothing. Why would I breathe it? What's the point?

Demonstrably untrue. Oxygen smells blue.
posted by flabdablet at 3:26 PM on October 31, 2018 [6 favorites]


> What are the underlying premises that cause such a strong reaction?

Well, there's not a single living creature on Earth that doesn't need water to live. So maybe it's some unconscious spasm of revulsion at the idea of rejecting such an important part of life? Even though all these non-water drinkers are of course getting the water they need (if not always enough of it!) via their food and juice and whatnot. There's still something... unsettling about it.
posted by lovecrafty at 3:34 PM on October 31, 2018 [10 favorites]


It can't be a hoax, because my boyfriend is like this. He drinks Dr. Pepper instead. Now that he's older he'll have a portion of a solitary glass of water right before bed instead of another soda. I... sort of get it. I'll drink water while working out or taking pills, but it's not my go to thing to accompany meals.
posted by Selena777 at 3:36 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


I guzzle down 4-5 quarts a day (those mason jars with the lid/straw setup) of tap water here in the Pacific Northwest

The tap water here in Portland is much, much better than the tap water back in Texas.
Plus—the government can't control our brains with evil chemicals thanks to our citizens voting NO on water fluoridation a few years back!
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:38 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


Pfft, you can go the rest of your life without oxygen.

(More seriously, the article about Mel, linked above by GuyZero, is pretty interesting. They seem to be doing some decent-enough journalism, although it's unclear if they're long for this world. Plus, it led me to the wholly-owned "magazines" belonging to—although all with varying degrees of independent editorial control—Snapchat and Uber, neither of which I'd ever heard of. Real Life—that's Snapchat's—appears to have some pretty decent longform content in it, which is neat, and then makes me immediately wonder if they know me too well.)
posted by Kadin2048 at 3:48 PM on October 31, 2018 [6 favorites]


It doesn't taste like nothing, it tastes like watered-down-the-last-thing-you-had. That's gross. So gross. Also have you seen what it can do to iron pipes? Would never put that stuff inside me.
posted by mcrandello at 4:04 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


Would never put that stuff inside me.

The article managed not to stray into DHMO fearmongering, I dunno if we should really go all in either.
posted by GuyZero at 4:06 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


I don't like water, and I barely drink any outside of rinsing and then taking a sip or two after brushing my teeth and with my meds.

My daily consumption of liquids is also very limited. One glass of orange juice and a coffee in the morning, maybe a tea during the day at work (often not finished) and then a glass (or three) of wine at night. That's it. I have seen people gulp down more water than I drink in a week just waiting for the bus.

I have taken walking tours that lasted 4 hours in full summer heat under the sun without feeling any thirst or drinking any liquids.

And my kidneys are fine. If ever I do feel really thirsty, I will get some water and force myself to drink as much as I can stomach, rarely more than a regular sized glass. But I would reach for a soda or fruit juice first if available.
posted by mephisjo at 4:06 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


I wanted to come away from the article with a conclusion about the hydro-haters’ unique physiology, but I’ve got two extremes: 1) They don’t have a good sense of taste? I.e., the “water tastes like nothing” crowd. 2) They are supertasters? I.e., the “water tastes like mold or metal” crowd. So I have no conclusion except that I’m thankful that I like water. My sister-in-law claims she doesn’t drink water, not ever, won’t touch the stuff, so I know these people are for real.
posted by Knowyournuts at 4:11 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


I have lived in places where the tap water tastes awful. Also, old ice that has been in an unclean freezer can make the water taste revolting.

Maybe some of these people have only had the bad kind of water.
posted by elizilla at 4:16 PM on October 31, 2018 [6 favorites]


Outside of tea at dim sum and the rare drink of wine or whiskey I only drink water. Never got into coffee. Tea doesn't interest me. Pop (also called soda if I'm not mistaken) and beer sit in the stomach like a dense liquid cannonball so those are out too. Maybe I'll make a smoothie.
posted by juiceCake at 4:20 PM on October 31, 2018


I can see getting bored of water and wanting to mix it up... but avoiding it entirely is quite extreme.

I drink room temperature water from a Brita tank. I used to think it was mostly unnecessary until I was brought a glass of tap water unawares and it tasted remarkably different.

I don't like La Croix or other carbonated but otherwise barely flavored waters. I need a strong flavor to make up for the acid. A slice of cucumber can be nice, but I rarely think of it/have cucumber on hand.
posted by mountmccabe at 4:24 PM on October 31, 2018


For me, there's nothing like a cold glass of water.

My Northern Irish grandmother on the other hand, drank tea. Only tea. Tea all day long. Tea with every meal....even to take her pills.
posted by bonobothegreat at 4:33 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


I've told this story before, but it's relevant here. My grandparents had a well but the water had too many minerals and tasted terrible. The drinking water came from a cistern that collected water from the roof. The water had tiny little creatures in it that I later learned were copepods.

One day I went out to pump the daily pail of drinking water from the pump, which was a rusty old bucket-brigade contraption, and a frog splashed into the pail.

But you know what? That was some tasty water.
posted by sjswitzer at 4:38 PM on October 31, 2018 [4 favorites]


I grew up in a place infamous for terrible tap water. It's very hard water, everything eventually needs to be descaled, using an iron without cleaning it once-twice a year spits little chunks of calcium onto your clothes, that kind of thing. It definitely has a taste!

But it also means that bottled water tends to taste... insubstantial? Weirdly soft and mouth-filling without actually giving me the sense that I'm drinking anything. It's there and I can feel it, but I tend to feel like I might as well yawn; it feels about the same in my mouth.

My boss likes filter taps and fusses at me about how I should ask my landlord for one at home, but why would I want to drink yawns all day? Bizarre.
posted by E. Whitehall at 4:53 PM on October 31, 2018 [8 favorites]


After suffering a stroke, my mother had a swallowing disorder which meant that for months she could only have thickened liquids.

She would eyeball the bottle in my bag when I visited and plead for “just one swallow” of “plain, delicious, cold water.” She had always enjoyed drinking it and being denied that refreshment was, for her, torture. “Just a sip would be so wonderful!” she would sigh.

I drink a lot of water and think of this every time I enjoy a nice tall glass.
posted by kinnakeet at 4:55 PM on October 31, 2018 [12 favorites]


My best friend hates water and has to force herself to drink it. I love it so much that I started just calling it CCW (cool clear water, because that’s the best kind) so that when my sisters and I texted back and forth about enjoying some it didn’t take as long to write. Then we just started calling it “dubbing” (from the W in CCW). “I just dubbed,” etc. My point is: maybe we’re as bad as them
posted by Kemma80 at 5:10 PM on October 31, 2018 [7 favorites]


My 'slimy' bottled water is Evian, I just can't drink it. To me it has the same oily mouth feel as Grey Goose vodka, only without the single redeeming quality of being vodka. But then I'm another lucky Portlander who drinks tap water all day.
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 5:12 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]


What does it mean that Evian tastes "slimy"?

I wouldn't call it slimy myself, but I get what the person means. It's kind of buttery out greasy to me. I don't much care for it, but will drink it if it's what's available (which has been maybe twice in my life, I prefer tap to bottled generally).

I am also a coriander/soap person, for whatever that matters.
posted by Dysk at 5:19 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


My parents-in-law don't drink water. The amusing thing* is that my mother-in-law has this deeply held belief in always setting a “proper table” which, by her definition, not only means laying out superfluous utensils at every single meal only to put them away unused later, also means filling glasses with water and ice and placing a refill pitcher at hand, only to throw most of it right down the drain later.


*the thing I have learned to laugh about
posted by padraigin at 5:21 PM on October 31, 2018 [5 favorites]


What does it mean that Evian tastes "slimy"?

It's like somebody bottled saliva; you half-expect spit strings trailing from the lip of the glass.
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:26 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]


Evian is pretty low in dissolved minerals for bottled water - if you're used to hard water it probably seems slightly slimier, which is exaggerated by the fact it's on your super sensitive lips.
posted by GuyZero at 5:27 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]


Knew a guy who pretty much lived on Pepsi as his drink. Water to me a weird one. If it's filtered tap water, not a fan. But a nice Roaring Spring bottle of water tastes so much better.

And anything with the chlorine taste is meh.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 5:27 PM on October 31, 2018


Evian is slippery and tastes like sodium bicarbonate. It's disgusting. (I love cilantro, though!)
posted by unknowncommand at 5:32 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]


Did you know that you can pretty much eliminate chlorine from tap water simply by vigorously pouring it from one glass to another half a dozen times? I learned this from the local water authority. Try it sometime—the water’s taste definitely improves.
posted by kinnakeet at 5:46 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]


(Most tap water nowadays has chloramine, not chlorine.)
posted by Burhanistan at 5:50 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]


I love water. Everything else leaves a bad taste in my mouth pretty quickly, and then I want to go brush my teeth again. But water leaves no such trace, and it refreshes and relaxes me.

I second what was said upthread about the desert. I started really loving water in my teenage years when I lived in a hot, dry desert. At first, I didn’t bring water with me to school, and by the end of the day I’d be dehydrated with a massive headache. Then I discovered water and my life was instantly 10x better. It feels very weird now to go on any outing longer than half an hour without bringing water.
posted by mantecol at 6:24 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


I just got back from an endless trick or treating march with my daughter and her friends, and you can bet your ass I grabbed a colder than cold glass of water from the fridge when we got home just now and it felt and tasted awesome.

I bear no hostility to these poor people, just pure bewilderment.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 6:29 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


I was just diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease so these people can fuck right off
posted by Automocar at 6:30 PM on October 31, 2018 [7 favorites]


My 'slimy' bottled water is Evian, I just can't drink it.

What are you, some kind of benzene snob?
posted by flabdablet at 6:36 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


I have a well. There’s potable water in it. The water tastes like stones.

When I first moved here from the city I couldn’t abide the water. Who wants to drink a stone? I drank anything other than that water. I thereby fatted myself in fairly short order.

Lesson learned. All I had to do to fall in love with my well water was work out until I’d kill for a sip of anything at all, then hit the well water. In time I came to associate the taste of stones with profound post-workout refreshment. I Pavloved myself.

These days I love my well water above all other waters.
posted by Construction Concern at 6:39 PM on October 31, 2018 [12 favorites]


Fizzy mineral water always tastes "dry." Its useless for thirst-quenching.

Lies and calumny. Carbonated water has a x2 multiplier for quenching. It's like superwater, more thirst-quenching than water itself. It is the quenchingest.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 6:40 PM on October 31, 2018 [5 favorites]


Most tap water nowadays has chloramine, not chlorine.

Even though chloramine does diffuse out more slowly than chlorine, leaving an uncovered jug of tap water standing on the counter overnight yields a substantial flavour improvement.

Who wants to drink a stone?

Anybody who has ever been hiking on a mountain in the summer and discovered a snowmelt-fed rock spring.
posted by flabdablet at 6:42 PM on October 31, 2018 [6 favorites]


My daily consumption of liquids is also very limited. One glass of orange juice and a coffee in the morning, maybe a tea during the day at work (often not finished) and then a glass (or three) of wine at night. That's it.

I don’t say this to call you out, because I am genuinely curious: how do you live???!?!?? Especially with the wine. Probably most of my daily water consumption comes at night, alongside wine, because if I don’t hydrate vigorously I’ll have a headache the next day—one that feels unfairly disproportionate to the amount of alcohol consumed.

Also, it is really interesting to read about people’s hydration habits. I wonder how many non-fans of plain water get sufficient hydration from the air we breathe, or from vegetables or other foods like soup.

Personally, I also like water as a good neutral. I’m paranoid about having bad breath, so if I walk into a meeting after having had garlic or onions in my lunch, you can bet I’m taking a swig of neutral, cleansing water before speaking. Tbh I don’t know what I’d do without my daily water bottle.
posted by witchen at 6:52 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


Count me in as another who doesn't really consume that much pure water. Sure, I take in a fair bit of fluid - what do you think is the main ingredient in all this coffee I drink? That beer I had with lunch last weekend was mostly water. And sure, I'll run a bottle of cold water from the fridge through the soda stream from time to time, and I'll try to remember to have a glass of water before bed if I've been out for drinks, but plain water? That's mostly for summer and taking on bike rides and hikes. My wife however is the polar opposite. I fully expect that if she hydrated the way I did, after a week she'd just blow away on a light breeze like it was the end of Infinity War.
posted by MarchHare at 7:08 PM on October 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


People in Beijing (maybe all of China, IDK) won't drink cold water

Just came back from there, and that was certainly interesting. Public water dispensers give you the choice of warm or warmer. On the plane back I just had to take a snapshot of the stewardess accommodating my request for ice water by using tweezers to place a single pea-sized piece of ice in my cup. Got a close-up of that precious thing, the only piece of ice I had seen in six weeks.
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:13 PM on October 31, 2018 [9 favorites]


I was about to mention water flavors (Mio et al.), but the author did make a brief mention of it.

As far as I'm concerned, though, it's not at all the same thing as drink plain water. This is coming from a fellow unflavored water hater.

And with regards to juice, soda and coffee...coffee is a diuretic. Juice and soda (assuming non-diet) are full of sugar. Don't drink your calories.
posted by Delia at 7:29 PM on October 31, 2018


I'VE FOUND MY PEOPLE

Ok, I don't really *hate* water, but it's close to last in my choice of beverages. I've been chronically dehydrated my entire life, I know I should be better at it - but there's only really so much water I can stand at any one time. When I start drinking more of it than usual I feel a bit... seizure-y? Tingly? Hard to tell. But weird.

I like tea (esp matcha) and I like the taste of coffee but anything more than one cup a day gives me too much jitters. I love hot chocolate, but lately I've found that a lot of places make them too sweet so cutting it with something more bitter like coffee helps. I've gained an appreciation for sparkling water. Juices are alright depending on what it is. I'll have a soda occasionally and Bundaberg Ginger Beer is my favourite but it's not an everyday thing.

I grew up in Malaysia where you always filter and boil the tap water, or get bottled when you can. My family and I also avoid ice when we go out - part of this is my propensity for sore throats, but mainly it's because you can't tell if the ice water has been boiled beforehand so there's a risk of contamination. My family travel a lot and we've gotten sick off contaminated ice water so none for us thanks.

I don't know if I'd ascribe a particular taste to water, just bleh? I may be a supertaster, but unlike earlier comments my problem with water isn't that it doesn't taste strong - hell I do like things that are light and refreshing. But I dunno, it's hard for me to feel drawn to water unless I'm super thirsty and that's my best option available.
posted by divabat at 7:48 PM on October 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


Another data point: I usually don't eat during the day. Other than the coffee/OJ for breakfast, 5 days out of 7 my first meal is at around 8pm. My metabolism I believe is way out of whack.

But my blood work is awesome! Honestly, doctors compliment my results, and I get them quarterly. Biology is weird.

Now if only my immune system would get into line...
posted by mephisjo at 7:48 PM on October 31, 2018


Philadelphia tap water is alright, but not excellent. It's improved a lot in the past ten years or so.

Having grown up in Philly, I can still remember when I came back from my first year of college and downed a nice big glass of water -- it was the most god-awful thing I had ever tasted. Viscous, stale, as chlorinated as a pool. I spat it out thinking something was wrong with the tap, my glass, even myself as I considered various diseases I might have contracted over the last year. Eventually I realized it was just growing up with that tap water and then losing the taste for it, a taste I've never regained. I'm glad to hear it's improved -- I'd noticed I hadn't minded as much last time I was back, but I'd figured it was just my tastes broadening. Broadening averted!

For truly tasteless water though, we just got a Zero Somethingorother filter, which comes with a little gadget as a gimmick to measure total dissolved solids, their claim being that theirs is the only filter that gets it down to 0. Regardless of the truth (or purported benefits) of that claim, that water is indeed remarkably flavorless, particularly at room temperature, like drinking a well-rendered Unity effect.
posted by chortly at 7:51 PM on October 31, 2018 [2 favorites]


Of the seven people interviewed, two report serious medical problems they know have been caused by not drinking water - one admitted to the ER three times; one diabetic who's had multiple kidney stones. A third mentions minor health problems.

Two of them seem to have found reasonably healthy ways to avoid water: one makes tea; one uses a lot of MiO water enhancer. (Insta-flavor & maybe vitamins.)

The rest, though... wow. Drinking coffee or wine (!!) instead of water for a workout at the gym. Drinking diet cola. Drinking milk.

Truly, it makes you appreciate the flexibility and resilience of the human body.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:55 PM on October 31, 2018 [9 favorites]


Serious water drinker here (aquaholic) but there are waters that I've spit out and looked for even a diet coke to clear the taste, so perhaps these folk just live in a bad water town?
posted by sammyo at 9:57 PM on October 31, 2018 [4 favorites]


It took me an age to come to appreciate water as my main drink, but now it really is exactly that - despite all the peeing it causes my middle-aged body to endure. I really feel it if I have a day where I don’t drink at least one big tumbler of very cold water. So I suppose I don’t understand folks who would rather endure physical discomfort than drink some water, because I do not like how I feel at all without it! And I’ve never even HAD a kidney problem. One of my best friends has, and they landed in the hospital with a nasty case of kidney stones and still won’t drink water, preferring nearly exclusively to drink soda instead. Don’t get it at all.
posted by angeline at 10:06 PM on October 31, 2018


So it falls to me to admit exactly what lengths us water-haters will ACTUALLY go to in order to avoid the beast.

Eventually, you get to the point where just avoiding straight water isn't enough anymore -- you're starting to taste the water that's INSIDE your doctor pepper. Or coke, or whatever. So now you've got to start boiling you soda to extract the water out of it... eventually you're left with this sweet sludge that you kind of have to suck down like mucus.. but that's the only way you can drink anything anymore... even then, eventually, you still *think* you might be able to taste the residual water in your sludge.

So maybe think of those of use here who drink soda sludge in order to *survive* before you make fun of these people from the article.
posted by some loser at 10:07 PM on October 31, 2018 [5 favorites]


I think it is in Basin and Range where John McPhee describes an outing in Colorado in the summer with a geologist, or rancher, who spends entire days on horseback or walking in the heat. And the fellow tells him he regularly does not drink water before spending a day in the sun because it just makes him thirsty later.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 10:18 PM on October 31, 2018


Most of my life I didn't want water. It felt uncomfortable in my belly, and felt uncomfortable in my throat. It tasted like a dirty window sill smells. It wasn't the chlorine in the water. That never bothered me. Naturally people told me that I get sick in the heat all the time because I don't drink enough, and since I didn't enjoy being sick I tried drinking water. Meager or moderate amounts made no difference. But if I drank a lot of water I threw up from the heat more, with no relief from being sick.

But when I am pregnant I crave water and can drink a lot of it. I can drink it while nursing too, but I no longer crave it. Wanting a glass of water is my second pregnancy symptom to occur, a few hours after the sore breasts manifest. It still tastes like a dirty window sill smells, but the taste gets really mild.

When I had chemo I was supposed to drink lots of water to flush the red devil out of my system as quickly as possible. I spent four or five days after each treatment forcing water. Then I would hit a point where I could not physically force the water down. I could put it in my mouth but I couldn't make myself swallow sucessfully. It would stick in my throat as if it were a solid, hurt like I was trying to swallow something solid, like ice, and not go down.

About three weeks after I finished the last chemo I started to want water. Every day I would start to crave another glass of water every hour or so. I drank and drank glass after glass of water. I wasn't picky about anything except the temperature. It couldn't be cold or it was hard to swallow. It was a wonderful time. I enjoyed drinking water so much. Such a simple pleasure.

After some months the constant thirst and desire for water wore off but now I can still drink it. Usually. Sometimes water gets a strong nasty taste. I can drink it when that happens but I spend the next couple of hours gagging at the after taste. This is the exact same water that tastes fine most of the time, so I know the taste has something to do with me, either perception or oral bacteria. a week later I can be happily chugging three glasses of water in a morning.

What I crave is hot milky tea. I'm pretty sure the hot milky tea is for oral comfort rather than thirst. I'd settle for hot milky water, or plain hot water before I would want to drink tea without milk, or cold tea.

I can't drink pop. It feels like it is scalding my mouth. It is way too acidic and the carbonation is nasty stingy. Acidic fluid gives me a belly ache. It burns for about twenty minutes. This is odd because I am sure my stomach acid is much stronger than the citric acid and ascorbic acid in orange juice.

I sympathize with the people who can't drink water, or won't drink water. I have no control over my ability to drink water, or my desire to drink water. I really enjoy it when I can drink.
posted by Jane the Brown at 10:30 PM on October 31, 2018 [6 favorites]


Hah, I drink a LOT of water. These aquaphobes are so alien to me. I've asked my doctor if there's something wrong with me, but she says it's fine.

Here's a typical day:
- A few glugs during my commute if I take the bus: sometimes the air feels hot and dry and I don't like the feeling on the back of my throat.
- If I walk in, I don't drink much during the walk, but as soon as I get in, 12-16 oz. of cold tea, right in. I do this to make myself stop sweating.
- Throughout the day, between 48 and 96 oz of tap water. I have a 1.5L jug that I fill at least once a day from the tap -- if I used the filter, I'd be there all day, and it also makes the water too cold.

I'm not sure if this is a crutch for my lack of productivity (if I keep peeing, I never have to do work). I wonder if this stems from my childhood history at being at Asian parties, where the 7 of you (whose parents really did meet through your piano teacher but with most of whom I had nothing in common) are forced to socialize, and if I kept drinking water, I could go to the bathroom and not have to interact with these people I didn't really want to interact with.
- Maybe an Americano, and usually 1-2 afternoon peppermint / chamomile teas (8oz each).
- A few sips on the commute home -- note that I always carry water. (semper aquam porto!) This really limits my purse selection; I now have a flat water bottle for some flatter purses (if it weren't for how I chug its contents, it would appear to be a really big flask).
- If I feel really thirsty despite drinking water, I'll try to eat a pectin-rich fruit to make my mouth feel better.
- Probably 16 oz of herbal tea at home. This is my chance to remind my boyfriend to drink water, too! I can tell he hasn't been drinking enough water by his breath.

If I exercise, factor in another 16-32oz; if I drink alcohol, again, a lot more water. Oddly enough, I don't drink that much water during meals anymore.

I remember being in Vegas one night at this hotel where the bottled water wasn't free and the tap water had a flavor, though; that was terrible.
posted by batter_my_heart at 10:57 PM on October 31, 2018


OK shameful admission time, the absolute BEST and MOST DELICIOUS water is from a garden hose in the middle of summer. Once it gets cool of course, you can't drink it right away. I could drink gallons of that stuff.
posted by drinkyclown at 10:59 PM on October 31, 2018 [8 favorites]


I never drank much plain water until I moved to the desert and married someone who only drinks water. Now I have a dedicated water cup (Boba Fett, lidded with a straw) and refill the Brita 4 times a day. I did always drink a stupid amount of coffee though so I wasn’t dehydrating like these people.

It does make me wonder where my line would be. How bad would a health problem have to get before I made giant changes to my diet? Orange pee definitely wouldn’t do it.
posted by monkeyscouch at 1:37 AM on November 1, 2018


Score another data point for the middle-class 80s suburban American kids: my friends and I rarely drank water. Soda, yes, tons of it -- my mom admits to having put Dr. Pepper in my baby bottle more than once -- juice, Kool-Aid, Tang, milk (gross), milk with Hershey's syrup (best), Ovaltine (weirdly compelling), not to mention Sunny Delight which proudly advertised itself as none of the above.

To this day I am suspicious of tap water; even if it's miraculously free of microorganisms and chemicals (which I don't even know what I think they're gonna do to me, except that it's bad), I'm convinced that it'll taste like pennies, or chlorine, or warm broccoli, because it usually does. (Tap water in Oakland: you're pretty good. You get a pass. Eventually I learned to drink you and only be a little bit afraid.)

For years I drank basically nothing but Dr. Pepper. Then I decided I was going to reduce my calorie intake, and drank basically nothing but Diet Dr. Pepper, Gatorade for hangovers, and the occasional milkshake (which I think is more of a dessert than a beverage). I didn't die. None of my organs fell out of my body. I don't know if I suffered any health problems from this specifically because I also smoked and didn't exercise and drank too much and sat in stupid positions playing video games for double-digit numbers of hours and stayed up too late and failed to maintain proper sleep hygiene and didn't get enough protein and sometimes I'd bring home a family size Sara Lee pound cake and just eat the whole thing by myself.

Then a bunch of things happened at approximately the same time: I started to think being an incredible fuckup was no longer cute in my 30s, or at least it would stop being cute in my 40s and it was time to start work on my backup plan. I got sick enough to ask a doctor to help figure me out. (She never did, but in retrospect... probably my issue was that entire last paragraph.) My sister married an organic farmer, and through her I got a job at an organic grocery store and learned to love kale chips and salad turnips. I learned things about macro and micronutrients. I went paleo, tried keto, started taking barre classes five days a week. I was That White Lady.

Clearly with this brand-new persona I had a chance to rework my relationship with water (plus you have to stay hydrated & electrolyted on keto, protip, put some fruit tea & lite salt in there). If it's filtered and cold enough, I kind of like it now, even though I'm still convinced it's gonna taste like a brussels sprout died in there after getting knifed and bleeding out. I still prefer fizzy water -- on my desk right now are 7 lime bubly and 3 passionfruit LaCroix cans, from today -- and I went through a huge iced tea phase until my poop turned to yellow liquid and I WebMD'd myself convinced it was from the quart and a half of rooibos I drank daily because rooibos is supposed to be good for your cortisol.

So I'm definitely getting better at the game of putting liquids in my body, but I still have the hardest time getting used to the physical, logistical aspects of drinking water. By which I mean, for example, my hydration-normative friends will come to my house bearing their own Kleen Kanteen the color of the ugliest Kia Soul, and at some point they will interrupt our conversation to ask the location of my home water source which they believe I as a water-drinker maintain. At this point I either lie to them and tell them my tap water is fine (it's probably fine?) or admit that the last time I drank water was from a plastic half-gallon of reverse-osmosis which is nearly empty but they're welcome to the condensation on the lid.

Whenever I think about the global water crisis and how much money I spend on carbonated beaver-anus water in single-use containers when there is perfectly good water that tastes a little bit like asparagus coming right out of the tap, I feel guilty as hell. So maybe it's time to work on that.
posted by taquito sunrise at 6:34 AM on November 1, 2018 [7 favorites]


Implicit in several of the quotes seems to be the assumption that everything has to, or at least should, have a strong and distinct taste.

counterpoint

Personally I dislike Dasani water and find it harsh tasting. I think it's the sulfate.
posted by exogenous at 7:00 AM on November 1, 2018


It's weird to hear people say how little water they drink and then say, but I'm totally healthy. Uh, right NOW you may be...but for how long? It's not one of those things that's medically in dispute. You're starving the very cells that make you up out of the most important thing they need. It's not going to end well.
posted by agregoli at 7:20 AM on November 1, 2018 [2 favorites]


I mean, I must say that... how do I say this... interesting is better than not interesting and, to that effect, water from the tap is pretty uninteresting most of the time. Someone's comment upthread about how adding some sort of salt or something to approximate Pellegrino is, well, interesting in this regard.

That isn't to say that I don't drink water. When I'm working in the yard or exerting myself or particularly parched I have been known to quaff full glasses of water, half a nalgene even, without a second thought.

... but, it doesn't taste like anything, it's just a means to an end. I'm satiated but it is absolutely a different sort of thing than drinking anything A) flavored or B) carbonated.

So, yea, I sort of understand the thinking but anyone that does not drink water, well, I'm reminded of this clip from Blazing Saddles, despite the fact that it mentions eating instead of drinking.

"[A] Man that drinks [liquor] like that and does not eat, he is going to die."

posted by RolandOfEld at 7:20 AM on November 1, 2018


I love these comments and the range of humanity they demonstrate.

(Personally I love drinking water, the colder the better, and sparkling, if cold, even better - some flavours, or plain. Unpopular opinion: eff raspberry. I grew up in a town with such nice, clean-tasting tap water that I checked that article above to see whether it was my town!)
posted by wellred at 7:20 AM on November 1, 2018 [2 favorites]


I did always drink a stupid amount of coffee though so I wasn’t dehydrating like these people.

Wait up, I'm confused. Are you saying you think coffee doesn't dehydrate you? Cuz if so, oh boy, you've potentially got a nasty surprise in store for you. I say as someone who learned that lesson the hard way.
posted by gusottertrout at 7:22 AM on November 1, 2018 [3 favorites]


Also, some of you non-water drinkers gonna get the gout. If one day you think you broke your big toe but can't figure out how, you didn't.
posted by wellred at 7:23 AM on November 1, 2018 [7 favorites]


Wait up, I'm confused. Are you saying you think coffee doesn't dehydrate you?

It doesn't.

"Coffee and tea also count in your tally. Many used to believe that they were dehydrating, but that myth has been debunked. The diuretic effect does not offset hydration."

The official advice I've seen in Denmark is that coffee counts the same as roughly half its volume of water, with some variance based largely on how seasoned a coffee drinker you are. So yeah you can totally stay hydrated by drinking a lot of coffee.
posted by Dysk at 7:30 AM on November 1, 2018 [7 favorites]


i mean maybe? but having a heart attack in the middle of explosive diarrhea is probably going to cancel that hydration right out.
posted by poffin boffin at 7:45 AM on November 1, 2018 [7 favorites]


Yeah, but not everyone gets palpitations or digestive problems from coffee, though. YMMV, people's sensitivity to caffeine varies wildly.
posted by Dysk at 7:46 AM on November 1, 2018 [2 favorites]


And like, I don't get this "coffee bad" idea generally - having two glasses of water and a couple of double espressos is functionally the same as drinking many cups of filter coffee. But only one of them gets you two glasses of pure water, so it must be better right?
posted by Dysk at 8:03 AM on November 1, 2018 [3 favorites]


And like, I don't get this "coffee bad" idea generally

Me either, but I used to drink about a half gallon a day, and that seems a bit much
posted by thelonius at 8:23 AM on November 1, 2018


I am very late to the party, but what the fuck do you all mean that fish don't fuck?

Unless you mean to say that fuck === penis in vagina, in which case I know a bunch of people who will be very disappointed to know learn that they have not been fucking for years.

My most viewed YouTube video is from when I was breeding beta fish. Animals hate it when you antropomorphize them, but if Bettas don't fuck, and if the females don't have 30 second long quivering spine bending orgasms, then I have no idea what is what.

My sister gets her water from the same source as San Pellegrino. Every park in her town has twin water fountains. One still, one sparkly. Free San Pellegrino anywhere you walk. I love water.
posted by Dr. Curare at 8:44 AM on November 1, 2018 [7 favorites]


excuse me where is this and why don't i live in fizzy sparkletopia
posted by poffin boffin at 9:10 AM on November 1, 2018 [10 favorites]


The official advice I've seen in Denmark is that coffee counts the same as roughly half its volume of water, with some variance based largely on how seasoned a coffee drinker you are. So yeah you can totally stay hydrated by drinking a lot of coffee.

Well, as someone who drank literally nothing but coffee, dehydrated to the point of hospitalization where it took eight attempts to find a vein they could even insert an IV into before I passed out, I'm gonna have to beg to differ on this.
posted by gusottertrout at 9:13 AM on November 1, 2018 [1 favorite]


This is me. Water is boring and I rarely feel thirst. I maybe drink water like one glass every two or three days? I don't like carbonated beverages so the idea of carbonating the water to make it more interesting is... weird.

But I have never had any medical problems due to this that I know of. I asked a doctor about my lack of water once and they said it was fine, people vary hugely in how much they drink. I also noticed when I did fieldwork in Indonesia that people there drink hardly any water compared to Australians, even though it's much hotter. And they are fine.

I drink a fair amount of tea (like four or five cups a day), decaf coffee (at least two cups) and a glass or two of wine or beer most evenings. And I eat a lot of foods with a high water content (soups, fruit, yoghurt). I bet I get as much liquid as most people who drink more water.

I'm not a fussy eater at all. It's just a water thing.
posted by lollusc at 9:44 AM on November 1, 2018 [2 favorites]


I used to actively dislike plain water and had to at least add lemon to make it tolerable. Our tap water tastes (and tasted, when I was a kid) fine, so it wasn't that. It may just have been negative association--"oh, you feel sick? here, drink some water" -- so it was like, water = puking.

Having sipped at lemon-waters and cucumber-waters and such for several years now, I can manage to get down plain water most of the time. I'm doing so now, as it happens. I don't like to drink soda super often and while I get fluids through coffee, I'm not interested in drinking literal quarts of the stuff. It doesn't feel good? Like, it is not satisfying? But I'm assured that it is doing salutary things for my person.

Also, I don't GET thirsty, which I think might be a weird genetic thing. I have to be exerting myself or incredibly hot to feel thirsty!

It me. My father was always bewildered by how I could eat handfuls of pretzels and not wash them down with something. I will say that now that I exercise daily and live in apartments with radiator heat, I am more frequently thirsty.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:10 AM on November 1, 2018 [3 favorites]


These people are monsters.
posted by so fucking future at 11:16 AM on November 1, 2018


I grew up in a house with disgusting well water -- stank of sulfur, brownish from iron, and chlorinated to make it "safe" to drink. We never drank plain water because it was pretty well undrinkable without something to disguise the taste.

I live in a city with decent water now, so water is my go-to drink at home. I can't stand sugary drinks - pop, juice, whatever -- or milk. But at work all I drink is tea because the water there is horrible -- metallic and nasty.
posted by fimbulvetr at 12:18 PM on November 1, 2018


I've posted before about hauling drinking water in the SoCo desert as a child, so I won't go into how delightful I find actual running water you can drink right out of the tap.

But these people's pee must be the consistency of like maple syrup.
posted by aspersioncast at 12:31 PM on November 1, 2018 [2 favorites]


I've never thought about it, but yes, I have to work hard to drink water-- I absolutely do think it tastes vile, as someone above described: like a brussels sprout died in there after a knife fight, and this is in a city famed for its tap water. I basically have to use food as a 'chaser.' In between bites of delicious food, I'll guzzle down big gulps of gross water, like it's medicine. The idea of taking a sip of restaurant water, with some moldy-tasting freezer-burned ice cube, is borderline macabre to me. I don't think of myself as a Water Hater, but if I take the time to think about it, I am one of these monsters.
posted by thegreatfleecircus at 1:31 PM on November 1, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'm with those who find this very alien. I feel bad for these people! I love water and often think about how enjoyable it is to drink water, and how amazing it is that clean, delicious water is so readily available to me. I can easily drink upwards of 10 full 16-oz glasses of water in a day, preferably room temp or slightly cooler.
posted by aka burlap at 2:05 PM on November 1, 2018 [2 favorites]


Because water is “supposedly” so good for you,

Wooooooooooooooooooow, finally a conspiracy theory better than Flat Earthers. Big Water!
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 2:26 PM on November 1, 2018 [7 favorites]


Big Water is a conspiracy, though. Albeit one to commodify and hoard something that belongs to the public.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:01 PM on November 1, 2018 [4 favorites]


I drank an entire 16-ounce bottle of water while reading this thread, and in a minute I'm going to go refill it from the tap.

(I keep a water bottle on my nightstand, rather than a glass, because I'd knock over a glass all the damn time. It gets refilled a lot. Carbonated beverages are gross and the bubbles hurt my mouth; wine and coffee just taste like tannins. Water is delicious.)
posted by nonasuch at 5:30 PM on November 1, 2018


This is the strangest thread in a long time, while much sympathy for all that have substance issues -- some suspicion of some trolling going on, but no idea how to differentiate. Certainly should be studied, is it a genetic, physiological, psychological thing? On the edge of dangerous, one of Freud's first famous patients was a young woman that only survived on a rare melon, no liquids at all. Yow, wow.
posted by sammyo at 5:56 PM on November 1, 2018 [1 favorite]


urine color chart. Drinking enough water to have pale urine is a genuine health requirement. I don't particularly enjoy drinking water, but, seriously.
posted by theora55 at 7:24 PM on November 1, 2018


This is a strangely inspirational thread - I'm trying to kick my Diet Coke habit (again), leaving me with tap water and coffee, both of which I actually love and drink in quantity anyway. It's hard to find a place where people are rapturous about water, but I'm glad to be reading it today.

(Dublin, Ireland has pretty delicious tap water, and the first thing I do before arriving on holiday is to buy big bottles of waterin case it takes me a while to adjust to the local stuff.)
posted by carbide at 1:55 AM on November 2, 2018


I wonder how much of the experience of drinking water is the result of the types of plastic or metal used to make the bottles or pipes it is served from.

I always found evian kind of gross, but I always assumed I was tasting the bottles.
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 6:57 AM on November 2, 2018


Bottles, perhaps; pipes, you shouldn't be tasting unless the pipework is very new. The inside of most water lines is coated with minerals, so the water barely touches the metal. (Except, say, when you switch to a cheaper supply of water and strip the mineral coating away, exposing the metal, a la Flint, Michigan.) I do think you can taste the metal containers if your lips/tongue actually touch it while drinking, though... I have a couple of metal water bottles that do seem to impart a metallic taste, although I know intellectually that stainless steel doesn't have a taste.

Some minerals are very easy to taste/smell. I grew up with well water that was practically hard enough to stand a spoon up in. (Seriously, we should have sold it as a health tonic. If we'd carbonated and bottled it, it would have tasted just like the stuff people pay money for at Saratoga Springs.) But most of the perceived taste is actually a sulfur odor, which goes away if you let the water sit out on the counter for a while, or even in the fridge in an unsealed container.

Chlorine is the same way, on city water systems. You can remove it by running the water through a charcoal filter, which is how the Brita pitchers work, but you can also just leave the water sitting in the same pitcher in the fridge overnight and get the same result (with regards to the chlorine). If you have offensively public-pool-tasting water, it's worth giving this a try since it costs effectively nothing. It will also let you see if you have sediment in your water—if you do it'll settle to the bottom—which means you may actually need a mechanical filter of some sort.

I just use an old Brita pitcher that's made from, I think, polycarbonate, but the trendy thing—if you are concerned about various plasticizers leaching into the water when it's sitting in them—is to use glass. Wine bottles seem popular for table water in some restaurants I've been to, which kinda makes sense: a thoroughly-rinsed wine bottle isn't going to leach anything, because whatever it might have had in it that's water-soluble almost certainly already got extracted by the wine. And also, they're free.
posted by Kadin2048 at 7:59 AM on November 2, 2018 [4 favorites]


I get why people don't like (some) tap water. My granddad's well water was so full of iron and various sulfur compounds he went through water filters like he went through Camel nonfilters and cheap pilsners and it still stank badly enough I preferred to walk out to the end of the dock and use a bucket to get drinking water.

Some cities have terrible tasting tap water, also. Water in Orlando makes me want to gag. Everywhere else I've lived, in several different states, have been fine. The ones that used surface water (IOW, lakes) would taste a bit "dirty" for a few days once or twice a year when changing seasons caused layer mixing, though there were never any actual particulates in the delivered water.

Bottled water is wasted on me, though. Mineral water tastes awful and Dasani tastes like a big mouthful of seawater. Plain 'ol Aquafina is fine, though. It has sufficient mineral content to not be ridiculously corrosive yet not so much that it tastes of said minerals.
posted by wierdo at 5:20 AM on November 5, 2018


Mandrake, have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?
posted by some loser at 8:29 PM on November 16, 2018 [4 favorites]


As human beings, you and I need fresh, pure water to replenish our precious bodily fluids.
posted by exogenous at 5:31 PM on November 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'm trying to kick my Diet Coke habit (again)

good luck! I don't understand the appeal, but Diet Coke fiends seem to be in a class of their own among soda drinkers.
posted by thelonius at 6:26 PM on November 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


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