Idris walked with God, and then he was no more

November 6, 2018 2:30 PM

Idris Elba has been named People's Sexiest Man Alive. In Daniel Mallory Ortberg's ongoing story, he confronts the one from last year, Blake Shelton. (previously)
posted by numaner (24 comments total)

Wait wait nothing has happened to Idris Elba, right?

He's OK, right?

Right?
posted by chavenet at 2:36 PM on November 6, 2018 [5 favorites]

He's fine, he's sexy, he's aware of the effect he has.
posted by nubs at 2:42 PM on November 6, 2018 [22 favorites]

In related news: water is wet.
posted by Fizz at 2:45 PM on November 6, 2018 [10 favorites]

democracy works
posted by incomple at 2:45 PM on November 6, 2018 [4 favorites]

The Apocalypse is cancelled.
posted by Artw at 2:47 PM on November 6, 2018 [12 favorites]

I'm looking forward to this Kingyear!
posted by Gyre,Gimble,Wabe, Esq. at 3:03 PM on November 6, 2018 [3 favorites]

Yet another year I get fucked over by the dicks at People Magazine. Oh well, the fact Iris has gray in his beard too means at least the window hasn't closed yet. Watch this space next year!
posted by Keith Talent at 3:03 PM on November 6, 2018 [6 favorites]

In weirdly related news, because I do not follow People or any news outlet that would be talking about it (there's slightly bigger fish to fry in the U.S.right now), I had a dream featuring Idris Elba last night. (Speculating on the content of the dream I will leave as an exercise for the reader.)
posted by soren_lorensen at 3:05 PM on November 6, 2018 [7 favorites]

Speculating on the content of the dream I will leave as an exercise for the reader.

I presume ballots were involved?
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:10 PM on November 6, 2018 [8 favorites]

Apparently People has finally gotten around to confirming that the Earth is round.
posted by Going To Maine at 3:12 PM on November 6, 2018 [2 favorites]

he holds this title automatically for as long as he is alive
posted by poffin boffin at 3:39 PM on November 6, 2018 [16 favorites]

I presume ballots were involved?

Dangling chads, surely.
posted by chavenet at 3:44 PM on November 6, 2018 [6 favorites]

I’m glad that People is finally getting some value out of that cross-promotion deal with Duh magazine.
posted by Etrigan at 4:00 PM on November 6, 2018 [9 favorites]

I look forward to the story update every year. It is so dark yet over-the-top at the same time.
posted by kimberussell at 4:55 PM on November 6, 2018 [4 favorites]

Wait wait nothing has happened to Idris Elba, right?

He's OK, right?

that remains to be seen this time next year, when the new year-king comes for him.
posted by numaner at 5:00 PM on November 6, 2018 [14 favorites]

I love this annual thread. Never is the difference between commenters who RTFA and those who didn't clearer and more delightful.
posted by Emily's Fist at 5:27 PM on November 6, 2018 [24 favorites]

Total discrimination against sexy dead people.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 5:29 PM on November 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

Total discrimination against sexy dead people.

A regrettable omission, certainly, but the award is for the dead sexy rather than the sexy dead.
posted by Celsius1414 at 5:36 PM on November 6, 2018 [9 favorites]

that remains to be seen this time next year, when the new year-king comes for him.

You come at the king, you best not miss.
posted by jzb at 8:03 PM on November 6, 2018 [4 favorites]

The contrast to last year is so funny. 110 comments on the blue last year with comments ranging from “who?” “Her?” “Why?” “This is sexist” “what is sexy”.

This year we’re basically like “Well yes, of course. Idris Elba is hawt. Next.”

But 2017 and 2018 Mefi agrees we all still miss The Toast.
posted by like_neon at 11:36 PM on November 6, 2018 [9 favorites]

Wait, so can he FINALLY be James Bond now?
posted by littlesq at 8:48 AM on November 7, 2018 [1 favorite]

In related news: water is wet.

Are you sure that's just water?
posted by PearlRose at 9:02 AM on November 7, 2018 [1 favorite]

He's fine, he's sexy, he's aware of the effect he has.

Well, until next year at least
posted by happyroach at 11:38 AM on November 7, 2018

This year we’re basically like “Well yes, of course. Idris Elba is hawt. Next.”

It's like I was saying about Ta-Nehisi Coates and the Pulitzers for so long: Eventually, all Sexiest Man Alive stories will have "* -- inexplicably, not Idris Elba" at the bottom.
posted by Etrigan at 12:02 PM on November 7, 2018