"…it was eggs, rotten eggs, but not from me"
November 17, 2018 6:14 AM   Subscribe

The world of professional darts has been rocked by two players accusing each other of repeatedly breaking wind during a match. (SLGuardian)
posted by Johnny Wallflower (25 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
Under the internationally-recognized law “who smelt it, dealt it,” it is clear Anderson is the guilty party.

Also, “darts competition? More like farts competition!”

Thank you!
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:23 AM on November 17, 2018 [43 favorites]


Like Anderson, when I fart I never use it to my advantage. Although maybe I should.
posted by Emmy Rae at 6:26 AM on November 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


People make fun, but I think there’s probably quite a bit of skill to it. It totally is a legitimate sport.

Players performing at that kind of high level are constantly grappling with issues like calculating digestion times, weaponizable menu choices, and staying on the right side of the shart line.
posted by Construction Concern at 7:08 AM on November 17, 2018 [27 favorites]


Darts is one of those sports that (to the best of my knowledge) does not have a big following in North America but is huge elsewhere (or maybe just England?). Anyway, a couple of weekends ago I was visiting my sister and we were channel-flipping and came across the conclusion of some sort of darts competition and the crowd was fucking losing it, people jumping up and down like they'd just won the lottery, double high-fiving each other, etc.. I hope someday I'll be as excited about something as those people were about darts.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:14 AM on November 17, 2018 [7 favorites]


Also, he who denied it, supplied it (R. v Johannes Fartpanticus, 1407). Case closed.
posted by Devonian at 7:15 AM on November 17, 2018 [12 favorites]


People make fun, but I think there’s probably quite a bit of skill to it. It totally is a legitimate sport.

It most certainly is! And the same could be said for darts, too.



Pub-league darts is pretty big across Southern Ontario and into Quebec. One of my makerspace buddies makes custom dart surrounds with lighting, cameras and (attempts at) auto-scoring.

If you want to see a movie about darts obsession, Heartlands (with perpetual MeFi fave Michael Sheen) might explain some of it.
posted by scruss at 7:41 AM on November 17, 2018 [7 favorites]


Good to see that this generation of players are still being inspired by Tommy 'EvenFatterBelly' Belcher
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 7:54 AM on November 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


Please add "fartpuns" to the tags as a warning.
posted by Marky at 8:25 AM on November 17, 2018


Also, he who denied it, supplied it (R. v Johannes Fartpanticus, 1407). Case closed.

Bullseye.
posted by MonkeyToes at 8:51 AM on November 17, 2018 [5 favorites]


Darts competition at the local. Winner to serenaded by a trumpet fanfare.

Dammit, Jones, not that trumpet!
posted by Making You Bored For Science at 8:55 AM on November 17, 2018 [2 favorites]




Fatherhood is not mentioned anywhere in this story, and yet it is somehow the most dadful thing I have read about in a while.
posted by Countess Elena at 9:48 AM on November 17, 2018


Those who quote the rhyme, did the crime.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:14 AM on November 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


Who is to blame?

The riddle of the sphincters.
posted by jamjam at 10:27 AM on November 17, 2018 [7 favorites]




"It was the most enormous noise, but what happened next was genius comic timing," recalled Hearn, who is also chairman of World Snooker.

Canadian Werbeniuk turned round to an elderly woman in the crowd and said: "Was that you?"


Hahaha!
posted by Omnomnom at 12:51 PM on November 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


I fart in your general direction.
posted by 3.2.3 at 1:26 PM on November 17, 2018


Please add "fartpuns" to the tags as a warning invitation.
posted by Emmy Rae at 1:42 PM on November 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


> ...we were channel-flipping and came across the conclusion of some sort of darts competition and the crowd was fucking losing it, people jumping up and down like they'd just won the lottery...

Since betting on sports is legal in the UK, maybe they had.
posted by ardgedee at 5:34 PM on November 17, 2018


It sounds like Le Pétomane could also have been a dartiste.
posted by TedW at 5:45 PM on November 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


Game on, and it's a killer! No dartitis fartitis here.

Pun suggestions: Darts, here. Farts, here.

I'll let everyone put together their own further witticisms.
posted by BlueHorse at 5:57 PM on November 17, 2018


I love MeFites so much
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:09 PM on November 17, 2018


I think the most timely and relevant term for a bit of gluteal crepitation is a TRUMP.
posted by njohnson23 at 6:18 PM on November 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


a bit of gluteal crepitation is a TRUMP

A cheeky and pointed observation.
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:26 PM on November 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


"a bit of gluteal crepitation is a TRUMP"

It is indeed on this side of the Atlantic, and in the days of my misspent youth when I used to frequent joke shops, the slogan for their fart powder was "a trump from every rump" which I still think of every time I hear the name.
posted by Fuchsoid at 2:09 AM on November 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


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