slurp gulp crunch smack
November 23, 2018 10:53 AM   Subscribe

 
Despite being put off by the extreme closeup, I could really go for a grilled cheese right now.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:00 AM on November 23 [1 favorite]


Wait, what? Why?! No!
posted by hippybear at 11:01 AM on November 23 [21 favorites]


Also, yeah on the grilled cheese!
posted by hippybear at 11:02 AM on November 23 [1 favorite]


Why...why do the burgers have Eggo buns?
posted by sexyrobot at 11:02 AM on November 23


OH HELL NO.
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 11:05 AM on November 23 [12 favorites]


This is a Fizz post from the Mirror Dimension of Evil, isn’t it?
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:05 AM on November 23 [7 favorites]


Zero to murderous in five seconds.
posted by seanmpuckett at 11:10 AM on November 23 [8 favorites]


I wonder how many things I do in a day that could earn me passive income if I edited them nicely and put them up on YouTube.
posted by mantecol at 11:11 AM on November 23 [16 favorites]


This one shot past the neural net Christmas Carols on my NOPE NOPE NOPE list, so fast it made a sound.
posted by Quindar Beep at 11:11 AM on November 23 [2 favorites]


A crunchy/soft sound?
posted by hippybear at 11:15 AM on November 23 [1 favorite]


Isn't this a great opportunity to talk about how ASMR and misphonia are sort of the same thing but preceived differently?
posted by twoplussix at 11:16 AM on November 23 [19 favorites]


Yeeg.
posted by Mogur at 11:19 AM on November 23


Will he eat his amputated diabetes foot on ice cream?

Seriously, I don't understand this growing fetishization of food and eating.
posted by humboldt32 at 11:20 AM on November 23 [2 favorites]


This is porn, isn't it? This is somebody's porn.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 11:23 AM on November 23 [1 favorite]


This is also a sound: noooooooooooooooope.
posted by AlexiaSky at 11:25 AM on November 23 [3 favorites]


One of these days I’m going to lie there and watch various ASMR videos until I get the scalp tingles people talk about. Haven’t experienced them yet.
posted by mantecol at 11:25 AM on November 23 [1 favorite]


What the hell ... {reads further} ... I approve of this post.
posted by Wordshore at 11:30 AM on November 23 [3 favorites]




Isn't this a great opportunity to talk about how ASMR and misphonia are sort of the same thing but preceived differently?

It totally is. Odd, or perhaps not odd at all, is that my sister both suffers from misophonia/sensory processing disorder AND loves ASMR.

Not sure that she'd love this branch of ASMR, of course.
posted by nightrecordings at 11:37 AM on November 23 [1 favorite]


Oh god why did I click these. CRINGE
posted by FireFountain at 11:37 AM on November 23 [1 favorite]


I kind of unraveled just reading the links...gah
posted by wellred at 11:52 AM on November 23 [4 favorites]


sick
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 12:01 PM on November 23 [1 favorite]


Not sure that she'd love this branch of ASMR, of course.

It is a tree with many fingers.
posted by Fizz at 12:26 PM on November 23 [4 favorites]


I wonder how many things I do in a day that could earn me passive income if I edited them nicely and put them up on YouTube.

Twitch is basically 60% of this now. Probably more. The number of IRL streams keeps growing. Some are legit cool, things like cooking shows, or commentary on famous chess games, talks about astronomy. And then there's ASMR which has a larger footprint than I imagined.
posted by Fizz at 12:42 PM on November 23 [1 favorite]


A tree with many fingers. (chicken fingers!)
posted by Oyéah at 12:43 PM on November 23


And then there's ASMR which has a larger footprint than I imagined.

well, it's huge in the sasquatch community
posted by cortex at 1:09 PM on November 23 [3 favorites]


oh shit guys I think I just figured it out. This is the Bad Place. We're in the Bad Place!
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 1:10 PM on November 23 [24 favorites]


I mean, this isn't that much better (or maybe worse) than my infamous Smash Mouth post, or at least that's what somebody once told me.
posted by Fizz at 1:42 PM on November 23 [3 favorites]


This is hell and we are damned
posted by Ferreous at 2:16 PM on November 23 [4 favorites]


Oh god why did I click these. CRINGE

MetaFilter is a smorgasbord of diverse and varied delights. Just stop clicking and move on to the next FPP for something undoubtedly different.
posted by Wordshore at 2:56 PM on November 23 [10 favorites]


Relevant:
a haiku to commemorate the occasion:

nope nope nope nope nope
nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
nope nope nope nope nope
posted by elizardbits at 11:59 PM on June 16, 2012

posted by zarq at 3:44 PM on November 23 [6 favorites]


I like me some ASMR but I started all these playing simultaneously and holy shit these are some hell sounds
posted by EndsOfInvention at 3:52 PM on November 23 [2 favorites]


"I started all these playing simultaneously..." Me, too, until the computer crashed. I was okay with that.
posted by bz at 4:02 PM on November 23 [3 favorites]


Just reading this shot me to panic-rage about halfway through when it clicked what it must be describing.

*Points both middle fingers vigorously at all of you while backing out of the thread.*
posted by Lyn Never at 4:22 PM on November 23 [5 favorites]


Canadian FPPs: Threat or Menace?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:40 PM on November 23 [3 favorites]


Canadian FPPs: Threat or Menace?

I say we move our troops to the border!
posted by hippybear at 4:48 PM on November 23 [2 favorites]


MetaFilter: holy shit these are some hell sounds
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:52 PM on November 23 [4 favorites]


The ONLY time I ever experienced an ASMR like reaction is when my fourth-grade teacher would talk to me privately. Makes me wonder if it is ASMR or just a severe crush these people are experiencing...
posted by Samizdata at 5:33 PM on November 23


He clicked the links. He didn’t like the racket, so he thought them all into the cornfield.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 6:20 PM on November 23 [1 favorite]


God damn it, it’s like sitting down to dinner with my dad.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 8:19 PM on November 23


Did no-one ever tell him to close his mouth when he eats? To quote the incomparable Billy Connolly, it sounds like someone walking through a swamp with their wellies full of vomit. In other words, dinner with Dad and my brother eating stew.
posted by h00py at 9:41 PM on November 23 [1 favorite]


As someone with misophonia those links will remain unclicked for all time.

If someone did any of that near me I'd hit an 8 on their scale.
posted by episodic at 11:04 PM on November 23 [2 favorites]


mantecol, if this clip doesn’t make you feel a tingle at various points, probably nothing will. There are a variety of clicking/ rubbing sounds, so you might have to skip ahead for something potent. Try the 15 minute mark, or 26, or 57.
posted by xigxag at 11:18 PM on November 23


hour long movies of a mouth eating...
I think Andy Warhol would have loved these.
posted by quazichimp at 11:51 PM on November 23 [1 favorite]


Y’know how the U.S military uses pop music played at ear-splitting levels as part of psyops against an entrenched target?

This shit played at normal levels would be enough to have me running out of my bunker into custody.

What kind of monsters make videos like this? Do they have a separate line of crush videos involving cute baby animals?
posted by the sobsister at 7:45 AM on November 24 [3 favorites]


Well, that sorts out the soundtrack for my next acid trip! Thanks guys!
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 9:54 AM on November 24


gross
posted by tel3path at 10:56 AM on November 24


Ok, here's the thing. I like ASMR. I discovered this phenomenon maybe... 20 years ago? But didn't have a name for it or a way to find things to make it happen until quite recently. And then like 6 months ago I was like "wow, there's really ASMR _everything_". Like just anything you can think of. Why did twin asmr become a thing? Green screen penthouse sweets. Eating. Brushing. Walking through the woods quietly. Just everything. It gets weird really fast.
posted by Phredward at 12:48 PM on November 24 [2 favorites]


Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope NOPE.
posted by scalefree at 7:38 PM on November 24 [1 favorite]


Misophonia triggered - check.
posted by unliteral at 4:08 AM on November 25 [1 favorite]




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