Clickhole's Oral History Of The Hunt For Osama Bin Laden
December 5, 2018 10:38 AM   Subscribe

It is my profound regret to present you with yet another installment (so, so many times previously) of Clickhole's "An Oral History of..." series: "The Most Wanted Man In History: An Oral History Of The Hunt For Osama Bin Laden." It is certainly Not for Everyone™, but I hope that current fans of the series and uninitiated lovers of the absurd may delight in this nonsensical, wholly fictitious account of the hunt for bin Laden and, more importantly, John Wayne's ruby.
posted by Krazor (12 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
 
Dang it, now I want a raccoon named Oscar von Bottles.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:55 AM on December 5 [1 favorite]


it’s
it’s magnificent

if I had to pick a favorite part, it would be the mural at the Vermont Capitol, because I used to pass it several times a week and I can picture the perfect location for it
posted by Countess Elena at 11:02 AM on December 5 [1 favorite]


Wasn't John Wayne Ruby the assassin of Lee Harvey Oswald (AKA Oswald "Bin" Laden)?
posted by Quindar Beep at 11:03 AM on December 5 [2 favorites]


This did not spark joy in me the way previous Clickhole stories have. The absurdity felt forced and jejune. Maybe I am getting old.
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:12 AM on December 5 [3 favorites]


This did not spark joy in me the way previous Clickhole stories have. The absurdity felt forced and jejune. Maybe I am getting old.

Agreed, but I found the pattern. The histories about media (TV, movies) work for me and I laugh myself silly, but the histories about true events don't and feel forced. Each and every time.
posted by Servo5678 at 11:51 AM on December 5 [1 favorite]


It's not too late to claim my free 30-minute guitar lesson from Henry Kissinger, is it?
posted by Catblack at 12:17 PM on December 5


I'd love to hear how the distinct house style of Clickhole was created, it always reads (and sounds!) like something an algorithm created. Very formal and precise surrealism.
posted by jason_steakums at 12:23 PM on December 5 [1 favorite]


Catblack: sure, you can catch up with him once he gets back from dinner at the Outback Steakhouse.
posted by Quindar Beep at 12:24 PM on December 5


Very tempted to obsessively find metaphorical interpretations for every detail, like people do with "Miss American Pie," but I sense that that way lies madness.

John Wayne's Ruby = running for president, for example, and the raccoon is Saddam Hussein.
posted by officer_fred at 1:42 PM on December 5


My idea to add a statue of John Wilkes Booth sneaking up behind the Lincoln Memorial with a gun had been absolutely torn to shreds by Republicans and Democrats. I needed a win.
Oh Jesus Christ I can't breathe.
posted by howfar at 2:25 PM on December 5 [6 favorites]


"He is the worst neighbor I have ever had."
posted by doctornemo at 7:44 AM on December 6 [1 favorite]


" A third gorilla wandered into a tattoo parlor and got a tattoo on his gigantic ape chest that said, “Hungry For COINS.”"
Nicely done.
posted by doctornemo at 7:46 AM on December 6 [1 favorite]


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