“The cake to cheese ratio is all important....”

December 11, 2018 4:18 PM

As documented in “The Studies in Nidderdale”, in t'northern county of Yorkshire (Leeds!), Christmas cake is eaten with cheese. Emma Stokes, from Tadcaster, says: “Until I moved down south I didn’t realise some people think it’s weird to have cheese with your Christmas cake”, as the nation is further divided. Perhaps pair with Piave cheese, or cranberry-infused cheese, or a Harrogate Blue? “You can't beat a bit of Stilton with a piece of Christmas cake.” Though a wedge of Wensleydale is traditional and unbeatable and lovely. (Monterey!?!) Americans, and others, can vote on this and other British foods.
posted by Wordshore (41 comments total)

A nation torn apart by cheese. Can cheese heal the rift that cheese created?
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:28 PM on December 11, 2018 [6 favorites]

It's not for me, but there are a lot of Americans who eat apple pie with Cheddar cheese, so I don't think it's all that out there to have a bit of Wensleydale with your Christmas fruitcake.
posted by briank at 4:30 PM on December 11, 2018 [6 favorites]

Sort-of a bit similar, but just remembered that in the 70s and 80s we used to eat Gloucester Cider Cake (a lighter fruit cake) with a large slab of cheese at the same time. This was in the Vale of Evesham, south Worcestershire.
posted by Wordshore at 4:36 PM on December 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

I actually have some Wensleydale with cranberries in from Aldi's Christmas line. I had a bite of it with dinner. I'd never had Wensleydale before because my father considers it the most overrated of the English cheeses and speaks disparagingly of it whenever the subject comes up, but actually it was pretty good. For some reason our Aldi had a whole holiday range of English cheeses this year when usually it's German ones - a very bad red leicester which I'm going to reserve for melting, the Wensleydale, an aged cheddar that I haven't tried yet and double gloucester with chives which is also tasty. If they have any left tomorrow I'm going to pick up some spares to freeze.

I could easily see eating the Wensleydale with cake, or incorporating it into some kind of fruit tart.

This American thinks that scotch eggs, haggis, black pudding and beans on toast are all in fact weird, but would not let this stand in the way of eating them if the opportunity presented itself. Also those take-out boxes full of fried things and curry that you have over there, I would eat one of those. And tattie scones, I could murder some tattie scones right now.

Weird American foods are too many to name. I assume that you are also cursed with stunt foods like those disgusting colorful drinks that Starbucks has every summer, but I feel like a disproportionate amount of American weird food is basically Starbucks drinks en large, meaning it's just gross with no redeeming qualities. Also I am given to understand that our chicken is, so to speak, absolutely foul.

The thing with the scotch eggs, though, is that when I see pictures it always looks to me like they'd benefit from a thicker sausage layer. Doesn't the sausage dry out a bit?
posted by Frowner at 4:45 PM on December 11, 2018 [4 favorites]

We frequent a tea shop that has toad-in-the-hole on the menu, but whenever I order it (which is always) the proprietor refuses to make it, because it's too much trouble. So I have the haggis, neeps and tatties, or the steak and kidney pie. The proprietor also takes special orders for Christmas cake, and we always order one, and it's always delicious (unlike normal fruit cake) and this year I will have it with Stilton.
posted by acrasis at 4:52 PM on December 11, 2018 [6 favorites]

We voted for Donald Trump. You voted for Brexit.

Are you sure this is a good idea?
posted by Naberius at 5:09 PM on December 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

Any Wordshore cheese post has my vote
posted by mwhybark at 6:35 PM on December 11, 2018 [4 favorites]

> The thing with the scotch eggs, though, is that when I see pictures it always looks to me like they'd benefit from a thicker sausage layer. Doesn't the sausage dry out a bit?

So I spent my whole life eating petrol station Scotch Eggs just because they were savoury and portable. Yes, they're dry. Yes, they're tasteless. Yes, there's a air gap between the meat and the egg so they rattle unattractively. Yes, you can drop them on the floor and they bounce. When I finally ate the real thing, well into my 40s, it was a revelation. It was like... it was like... it was amazing. Few times have I ever been closer to divine food. I implore you, don't stumble in the darkness like me. If you're going to eat a Scotch Egg, find a good one.
posted by Leon at 6:47 PM on December 11, 2018 [10 favorites]

It's not for me, but there are a lot of Americans who eat apple pie with Cheddar cheese, so I don't think it's all that out there to have a bit of Wensleydale with your Christmas fruitcake.

A woman I once worked with used to say, "Apple pie without cheese is like a hug without a squeeze." My father liked his with the absolute sharpest Cheddar he could find; he called it "rat cheese."
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:49 PM on December 11, 2018 [7 favorites]

All the foods are weird, sorry. And I think deep down you all know this. I mean, I ordered pizza once (once) and there was corn on it. It's okay though because I can easily subsist on just your dairy products and baked goods (and curries) when I visit your fair shores. So carry on with your chip butties, ya weirdos.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:12 PM on December 11, 2018 [4 favorites]

I learned about the cake-and-cheese thing from reading James Herriot’s books as a kid. Now that I actually live in Britain, I can confirm that Northern England takes its fruitcake very seriously. There are degrees from medium-beige, spicy and moderately fruited (sort of tea cake type of thing) to DARRRRRK LIKE MY SOUUULLLL and sticky like a 3AM dancefloor at Whitby Gothic Weekend, to Christmas cake which is basically just solidified alcohol-soaked fruit with occasional cake molecules holding it together. A British Christmas cake is traditionally coated in geological strata of marzipan (good) and fondant icing (oh god why).

Meanwhile: cheese! Wensleydale is a shy young cheese whose flavour is elusive, but which really comes into its own dancing with a partner. I share Wordshore’s admiration for the Wensleydale with cranberries; you can also find a version with chopped apricots. So I can see how it might work with fruitcake. The sweet, milky flavour of Wensleydale might have something of the effect of cream cheese frosting. I’d also like to try it with a good crumbly Cheshire cheese, or (going further north) a bit of Orkney. Those both have a flavour which makes you go “is it sweet? is it sharp? ...it’s BOTH and I LOVE IT” which might go well with a piece of lovely... spicy... fruitcake... okay I know what I’m having for lunch tomorrow.
posted by Pallas Athena at 7:13 PM on December 11, 2018 [17 favorites]

Perhaps pair with Piave cheese

The nice thing about Piave is that it has a nice nuttiness to it, but slightly less intense salinity of other hard/crystalline cheeses that are similar. Do try, with or without cake, if you have the chance. It's a lovely cheese.

But that seems like a fun pairing!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:32 PM on December 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

The more I learn about British food culture the more I realize how intensely bizarre it is. I love British cheeses (Cotswold is probably my favorite) but with sweets? I'll have to think about it.

Although Jamaican black cake, hands down the best fruitcake in the world, owes its existence to British plum pudding, so it can't be all bad.
posted by 1adam12 at 7:50 PM on December 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Any Wordshore cheese post has my vote

Yes, but how much cheese??
posted by greermahoney at 7:55 PM on December 11, 2018 [5 favorites]

certainly not a felonius quantity
posted by mwhybark at 8:36 PM on December 11, 2018 [6 favorites]

As long as I can have my Christmas cake and eat it, that's all that matters to me.

I'll get my coat.
posted by Juso No Thankyou at 9:37 PM on December 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

I‘m used to eating a cheese&jam sandwich, Dutch style. And cheese dessert platters usually have grapes, figs or similar on them.

So not only does this sound sensible to me, your descriptions sound absofreakinlutely delicious and now I want to eat all your comments.
posted by Omnomnom at 11:28 PM on December 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

I haven't eaten eggs or meat for 20+ years, so scotch eggs were a distant memory, but Leon's "So I spent my whole life eating petrol station Scotch Eggs just because they were savoury and portable. Yes, they're dry. Yes, they're tasteless. Yes, there's a air gap between the meat and the egg so they rattle unattractively. Yes, you can drop them on the floor and they bounce" has so accurately captured the essence of cheap scotch eggs that I just had a full-sensory flashback.

Mixed feelings about that, TBH.
posted by BinaryApe at 11:40 PM on December 11, 2018 [5 favorites]

> fondant icing (oh god why)

So the marzipan doesn't dry out. But it should be Royal icing.
posted by Leon at 1:00 AM on December 12, 2018 [3 favorites]

> but with sweets? I'll have to think about it.

Try a cheddar and (sliced) apple sandwich. Think of it as a sweet/savoury gateway drug.
posted by Leon at 1:03 AM on December 12, 2018 [3 favorites]

Sharp cheese + fruit/sweet combo is so normal to me I'm having a moment having to reorient myself that it can be odd. Then again I was raised with the British commonwealth expectation of pie being savoury (except mincepie) so learning that apple pie is only one example of common fruit pies (and American shorthand for pies being sweet) was also educational.

(Seconding cheddar with apple pie)
posted by cendawanita at 2:59 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

I... have to go to the cheese shop now.
posted by heatherlogan at 3:07 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

"it should be Royal icing."

At least fondant icing yields to the teeth - you need a chisel to get through proper royal icing.
posted by Fuchsoid at 5:39 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

I don't like cake and I don't like strong cheeses (eg, Stilton), so this is basically my idea of hell. But those are just my personal taste limitations; it sounds like there are thousands if not millions of people who like the combination of flavors and it is good that this region-specific food tradition is being noticed and shared.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:29 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

What's this Christmas cake like? It's obviously not fruitcake (although it has fruit in it) or plum pudding, which I love(d).
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:03 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

Yeah right? I’m like, sure, I’ll have cheese with my Christmas cake... once I know what Christmas cake is. (I know, I know. I google it.)

I hope it’s delicious. I could use another delicious thing in my life.
posted by greermahoney at 7:10 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

Well, having gone from Essex to Edinburgh, it seems I've vaulted straight over the land of cheese and Christmas cake and I'm still struggling to believe it's true, but OK, I believe you, Metafilter. As a kid I used to like cheese and marmalade sandwiches, so I guess I shouldn't really be surprised.

I always feel like I must be missing out at Christmas because I just don't like the whole mince pie/Christmas cake/Christmas pudding axis. But ever since stollen came on the scene, I've found it easier to get by.

But don't get me started on cheese with fucking fruit in it.
posted by penguin pie at 7:15 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

It's obviously not fruitcake

Uhhh yeah it is. It is a rich fruitcake made with currants, raisins, sultanas and mixed peel. Sometimes it will have cherries (glacee) and other assorted fruit. It is cooked for quite a long time in a coolish oven and then aged and periodically fed brandy. You eat a rather thin slice of it and it doesn't really go bad as long as it is wrapped properly.
posted by koolkat at 7:18 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

Uhhh yeah it is. It is a rich fruitcake made with currants, raisins, sultanas and mixed peel. Sometimes it will have cherries (glacee) and other assorted fruit.

Yes, that. It's quite dark, rich, heavy and (if it's been kept correctly and I'm sorry to use this word) moist.

As there's nothing happening in UK politics today I'm spending break times looking at pictures of Christmas cake with cheese. This one is good, but this one ... please people, do not keep your cheese in an ashtray or I will physically remove you from the premises.
posted by Wordshore at 7:28 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

As there's nothing happening in UK politics today

*headdesk*
*wild despairing laughter*
*reaches feebly for cheese*
posted by Pallas Athena at 8:01 AM on December 12, 2018 [4 favorites]

Now that I think about it, what's carrot cake with cream cheese frosting if not cake with cheese? It actually seems to have a family resemblance to christmas cake with cheese anyway, in that carrot cake is a dense, rich, damp cake which often has dried fruit and nuts and the cream cheese frosting uses a neutral, rich cheese.
posted by Frowner at 8:26 AM on December 12, 2018 [5 favorites]

And I've had cheesecake with fruit, too.

But isn't it strange that it's only other people's weird cuisine that we think is weird. I remember coming across apple pie and cheese for the first time in the US and thinking it was very strange indeed, when I've eaten apples, cheese and crackers as a snack since I was a kid.

(Christmas cake is wonderful stuff... I have one, baked early this year, that has been marinaded in all manner of alcoholic liquor. It's a bit like a very rich port that you can chew)
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 9:00 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

Christmas cake sounds very much like the fruitcake I make for the holidays, which is an unleavened batter loaded with chopped fruit and nuts, baked slow, and dosed regularly with brandy. Except that I've never seen a fruitcake in the US which was frosted in any way.
posted by suelac at 9:10 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

Why not both? Both is good: 35+ Christmas Cheesecakes recipes.
posted by cenoxo at 9:44 AM on December 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

Although Jamaican black cake, hands down the best fruitcake in the world, owes its existence to British plum pudding, so it can't be all bad.

You say hands down the best, but have you tried that other culinary remnant of the British Empire, Sri Lankan Christmas cake?
posted by Bloxworth Snout at 10:19 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

cheese AND cake AND christmas: it's a wordshore trifecta!

for future holiday planning pls see also: Easter Bun and tinned cheese. If you're not lucky enough to have a Caribbean bakery nearby, here's another recipe! (A decent mild red cheddar can be subbed in for the Tastee, but it won't be quite the same. I have occasionally found packaged blocks of "Jamaican cheese" which are not Tastee and are even better in this application, but I have no idea where they are made or specifically what sort of cheese they are.)
posted by halation at 12:01 PM on December 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

I recently discovered I am lactose intolerant and ALL IS DESPAIR.
posted by Space Kitty at 1:10 PM on December 12, 2018 [3 favorites]

I once mentioned to a French friend of mine that some Americans like to eat their apple pie with cheese. He responded with something like, "yeah, sure. that makes sense. we do the same with our apple and pear tartes." Then, I explained further that "cheese" in this context was not a soft cheese like brie but rather a hard, sharp cheddar. He blanched and briefly looked like he was going to dry heave. I wonder how he would react to the pairing of a blue cheese with a fruitcake.
posted by mhum at 1:43 PM on December 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

Ooh. I mentioned in the British Politics All Season Despair thread that I talk with my English stepfather every time there is a new craziness in the news. But we don't only talk about the news, and yesterday we talked a lot about Yorkshire, which is where we had the best time we had together. Stepdad and I have a fine enough relationship, but Yorkshire is part of me in a way beyond the relatively short time I lived there (I think two years, but those years were formative). I love Yorkshire. I love all Northerners because of it. And yes, Christmas cake and cheese seems civilized to me. No icing on that cake, please. It's a bit late to start baking, but my brother would adore me if we could have it. Maybe amazon can help.
posted by mumimor at 3:06 PM on December 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

I Googled Gloucestershire Cider Cake and found this book of regional cake recipes. Gloucestershire Shy Cake, anyone?
posted by paduasoy at 4:18 AM on December 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

i'm catching up with this thread while eating a scone and swiss goat cheese with chopsticks. /galaxy brain
posted by cendawanita at 6:50 PM on December 13, 2018 [3 favorites]