As we all knew, Santa is Canadian.
December 24, 2018 7:15 AM Subscribe
they pay their employees in "holiday cheer"
Ah, just run of the mill capitalists then.
posted by chavenet at 7:36 AM on December 24, 2018 [11 favorites]
Ah, just run of the mill capitalists then.
posted by chavenet at 7:36 AM on December 24, 2018 [11 favorites]
Why can't it be both?
Also, the government is going all in on claiming Santa Claus, apparently. I follow Library and Archives Canada and they just did an event where Santa Claus stopped by to submit his naughty/nice records to the archive for preservation. They referenced him stopping by Transport Canada for a safety inspection, but I'm not sure if that's a thing that "actually" "happened" or just a joke that LAC's social media team thought up.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:37 AM on December 24, 2018 [9 favorites]
Also, the government is going all in on claiming Santa Claus, apparently. I follow Library and Archives Canada and they just did an event where Santa Claus stopped by to submit his naughty/nice records to the archive for preservation. They referenced him stopping by Transport Canada for a safety inspection, but I'm not sure if that's a thing that "actually" "happened" or just a joke that LAC's social media team thought up.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:37 AM on December 24, 2018 [9 favorites]
He's in it for the healthcare.
posted by clawsoon at 7:41 AM on December 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by clawsoon at 7:41 AM on December 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
chavenet: Ah, just run of the mill capitalists then.
Savage Chickens checks in on Legolas.
posted by clawsoon at 7:43 AM on December 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
Savage Chickens checks in on Legolas.
posted by clawsoon at 7:43 AM on December 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
Count me as skeptical. As it is, the whole operation is very likely a front for money laundering, as there are considerable outputs without significant revenue. Insofar as you can measure "holiday cheer," it seems like a payment in-kind, which could be legal.
The major concern is that cookies and milk left for Santa are clearly for personal use and not revenue for the workshop business. The workshop may be square with the revenue service, but Mr. Claus is taking in millions of dollars of taxable gifts without any remittance to the government.
posted by explosion at 8:30 AM on December 24, 2018 [6 favorites]
The major concern is that cookies and milk left for Santa are clearly for personal use and not revenue for the workshop business. The workshop may be square with the revenue service, but Mr. Claus is taking in millions of dollars of taxable gifts without any remittance to the government.
posted by explosion at 8:30 AM on December 24, 2018 [6 favorites]
Gifts aren't taxable in Canada. We're basically a Santa Claus tax haven.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:32 AM on December 24, 2018 [19 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 8:32 AM on December 24, 2018 [19 favorites]
Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer's office did not respond to CTVNews.ca's request for his input on Santa's citizenship status, though past Conservatives have been ardent in their assertion that Santa Claus is Canadian.
Andrew won't comment because he's hoping for coal in his stocking, in keeping with his climate plan.
posted by nubs at 8:41 AM on December 24, 2018 [19 favorites]
Andrew won't comment because he's hoping for coal in his stocking, in keeping with his climate plan.
posted by nubs at 8:41 AM on December 24, 2018 [19 favorites]
I remember long ago when the news reported that NORAD tracked some kind of "unknown target" on Christmas Eve which was obviously intended to be a "Santa is real" news story. I'm going to guess it was 1964 and it certainly made six-year-old me excited.
Pretty sure the North Pole isn't in Canada, though. Whup, on review, Denmark, Russia and Canada have all laid claim to the undersea ridge the North Pole is located on. I had no idea there was an International Dispute about the nationality of Santa Claus...
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 8:46 AM on December 24, 2018 [6 favorites]
Pretty sure the North Pole isn't in Canada, though. Whup, on review, Denmark, Russia and Canada have all laid claim to the undersea ridge the North Pole is located on. I had no idea there was an International Dispute about the nationality of Santa Claus...
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 8:46 AM on December 24, 2018 [6 favorites]
A child calling Santa reached NORAD instead. Christmas Eve was never the same.
posted by Melismata at 9:14 AM on December 24, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by Melismata at 9:14 AM on December 24, 2018 [9 favorites]
Of course Santa lives in Canada; he has an alphanumeric Canadian postal code
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 9:40 AM on December 24, 2018 [10 favorites]
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 9:40 AM on December 24, 2018 [10 favorites]
It sounds like a light-hearted, fun, family-friendly thing to declare. But if you read the article, it turns out to have important international, political, and, believe it or not (and believe in him or not), serious implications.
That Conservative-gifted passport came shortly after the federal government announced it would be making a claim to the UN for the North Pole, and more broadly the continental shelf in the Arctic.
Who knew Santa Claus would end up in the middle of all this political intrigue?
posted by eye of newt at 9:45 AM on December 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
That Conservative-gifted passport came shortly after the federal government announced it would be making a claim to the UN for the North Pole, and more broadly the continental shelf in the Arctic.
Who knew Santa Claus would end up in the middle of all this political intrigue?
posted by eye of newt at 9:45 AM on December 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
Of course Santa lives in Canada; he has an alphanumeric Canadian postal code
This is one of my favourite things about Santa in Canada. If you're not familiar, the Canadian postal code system alternates letters and numbers, in the form X1X 1X1. As with other postal codes, the first characters code the largest area and they get finer, down to the city block level -- a large institution like a hospital or city hall will have a single postal code dedicated to its use. (So my province of Alberta is T, my city of Calgary is mostly T2 and T3, my community is T2R.)
And many years ago, some genius in Canada Post decided to reserve for Santa the postal code H0H 0H0. (Which, for the record, would otherwise be in the Montreal area.)
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 9:50 AM on December 24, 2018 [19 favorites]
This is one of my favourite things about Santa in Canada. If you're not familiar, the Canadian postal code system alternates letters and numbers, in the form X1X 1X1. As with other postal codes, the first characters code the largest area and they get finer, down to the city block level -- a large institution like a hospital or city hall will have a single postal code dedicated to its use. (So my province of Alberta is T, my city of Calgary is mostly T2 and T3, my community is T2R.)
And many years ago, some genius in Canada Post decided to reserve for Santa the postal code H0H 0H0. (Which, for the record, would otherwise be in the Montreal area.)
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 9:50 AM on December 24, 2018 [19 favorites]
My kids sent letters to Santa Claus this year (which they gave to the postal workers at the Santa Claus Parade in Toronto). They each received typewritten letters back from Santa thanking them for their cards with hand written notes at the bottom. My wife and I were worried that they'd receive identical letters but they didn't. I don't know if the people at Canada Post track who they send the letters to to make sure there are no overlaps or they have enough paragraph options that every letter that gets generated is unique but either way it was pretty neat.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 10:00 AM on December 24, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 10:00 AM on December 24, 2018 [8 favorites]
As a note, something my girlfriend noticed is that H0H 0H0 is the only complete postal code on the side of the mailboxes. All the others only have the first half.
posted by Canageek at 10:16 AM on December 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Canageek at 10:16 AM on December 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
Arctic Sovereignty: A Short History
posted by eye of newt at 10:40 AM on December 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by eye of newt at 10:40 AM on December 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
In 2013, then-citizenship minister Chris Alexander issued Santa Claus a Canadian passport. In the same year, then-Tory MP Paul Calandra implored the Liberal party to help the government "keep Santa Claus Canadian."
That Conservative-gifted passport came shortly after the federal government announced it would be making a claim to the UN for the North Pole, and more broadly the continental shelf in the Arctic.
Um, I'm pretty sure Finland lays a pretty aggressive claim to ownership of Santa. Never start a war with Finland in the winter. Ever.
Also, PSA: Rare Exports, previously is a great Finnish Christmas movie if you're looking for something a bit more offbeat in the way of holiday entertainment.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:48 AM on December 24, 2018 [7 favorites]
That Conservative-gifted passport came shortly after the federal government announced it would be making a claim to the UN for the North Pole, and more broadly the continental shelf in the Arctic.
Um, I'm pretty sure Finland lays a pretty aggressive claim to ownership of Santa. Never start a war with Finland in the winter. Ever.
Also, PSA: Rare Exports, previously is a great Finnish Christmas movie if you're looking for something a bit more offbeat in the way of holiday entertainment.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:48 AM on December 24, 2018 [7 favorites]
Well sure, Santa is Canadian. That makes sense. He actually predates the founding of our country by... a lot, but when we claimed the North Pole his workshop came with it, reindeer pens and all. Now it's our responsibility to make sure there's still some ice up there year-round, so his elves can continue to make billions of toys annually.
posted by Kevin Street at 11:35 AM on December 24, 2018
posted by Kevin Street at 11:35 AM on December 24, 2018
Santa is a Greek immigrant to Canada. Little known fact: He spends most of the year holding court at a Greek restaurant on the Danforth in Toronto.
posted by clawsoon at 1:29 PM on December 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by clawsoon at 1:29 PM on December 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
This is very cute, but from my perspective there isn't a bright line separating "Santa is real and lives in Canada!" from "Jesus is real and has blessed Canada!"
Neither of these should be positions expressed by the Canadian government, not even as a joke.
posted by Joe in Australia at 1:48 PM on December 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
Neither of these should be positions expressed by the Canadian government, not even as a joke.
posted by Joe in Australia at 1:48 PM on December 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
Joe in Australia: This is very cute, but from my perspective there isn't a bright line separating "Santa is real and lives in Canada!" from "Jesus is real and has blessed Canada!"
There might not be a bright line, but I'm comfortable that the dim line is plenty wide enough. There aren't large groups of adults in Canada who are trying to impose Santanian belief and morality on all of us.
And besides...
Neither of these should be positions expressed by the Canadian government, not even as a joke.
We have freedom of religion in Canada - so far as the Notwithstanding Clause and the Reasonable Limits Clause go, anyway - but as far as I know we have no official separation of church and state. Isn't our head of state also the head of the Church of England?
posted by clawsoon at 2:00 PM on December 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
There might not be a bright line, but I'm comfortable that the dim line is plenty wide enough. There aren't large groups of adults in Canada who are trying to impose Santanian belief and morality on all of us.
And besides...
Neither of these should be positions expressed by the Canadian government, not even as a joke.
We have freedom of religion in Canada - so far as the Notwithstanding Clause and the Reasonable Limits Clause go, anyway - but as far as I know we have no official separation of church and state. Isn't our head of state also the head of the Church of England?
posted by clawsoon at 2:00 PM on December 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
I don't think the Queen's titular leadership of the Church of England can be seen as entangling Church and State outside England, certainly not outside the UK. To start with, I understand that while the Queen of England is also the Queen of Australia and the Queen of each of our States, they are separate positions that are only incidentally filled by the same person. It would take a Constitutional amendment to alter that connection, but it's at least one step removed from "Australia's Head of State is also the Supreme Governor of the Church of England". I presume Canada is in a similar position.
In any event, the Church of England is explicitly not the established church of any of the other kingdoms of Great Britain, let alone Her Majesty's other dominions. It's not even the case that these dominions are ruled by someone who is necessarily the Supreme Governor of the Church of England: the Queen might choose to renounce her titular leadership of the Church or the British Parliament might do it for her, by Disestablishment or otherwise. Church and State are certainly entangled in England and very possibly in the UK as a whole through things like the ex officio role of the Lords Spiritual in the Parliament of the UK, but I don't see why this should be considered to affect other countries.
posted by Joe in Australia at 4:41 PM on December 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
In any event, the Church of England is explicitly not the established church of any of the other kingdoms of Great Britain, let alone Her Majesty's other dominions. It's not even the case that these dominions are ruled by someone who is necessarily the Supreme Governor of the Church of England: the Queen might choose to renounce her titular leadership of the Church or the British Parliament might do it for her, by Disestablishment or otherwise. Church and State are certainly entangled in England and very possibly in the UK as a whole through things like the ex officio role of the Lords Spiritual in the Parliament of the UK, but I don't see why this should be considered to affect other countries.
posted by Joe in Australia at 4:41 PM on December 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Fair points about the separation of the Queen's roles.
Curiously, it's the Catholic Church which has remained most entangled with the state in Canada, via the separate school system:
Curiously, it's the Catholic Church which has remained most entangled with the state in Canada, via the separate school system:
The Constitution of Canada does not establish separate school education as a natural or unconditional right available to all. Only Protestants or Roman Catholics, whichever is the minority faith population compared to the other in a community, can consider the establishment of separate school education. The separate school establishment right is not available to citizens of any other faith (such as Orthodox Christians, Jews, Mormons, Hindus, Muslims, or Sikhs).posted by clawsoon at 5:13 PM on December 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
"I remember long ago when the news reported that NORAD tracked some kind of "unknown target" on Christmas Eve which was obviously intended to be a "Santa is real" news story. I'm going to guess it was 1964 and it certainly made six-year-old me excited."
Was it this radio report?
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:58 PM on December 24, 2018
Was it this radio report?
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:58 PM on December 24, 2018
Um, I'm pretty sure Finland lays a pretty aggressive claim to ownership of Santa. Never start a war with Finland in the winter. Ever.
Well, apparently Canadians can only declare war politely, so maybe this is their way of doing it?
posted by destrius at 7:02 PM on December 24, 2018
Well, apparently Canadians can only declare war politely, so maybe this is their way of doing it?
posted by destrius at 7:02 PM on December 24, 2018
"Neither of these should be positions expressed by the Canadian government, not even as a joke."
I heartily agree. A couple of hours ago CBC was reporting Santa's presence, quoting the NORAD website, as if it were all true. Yeah, it's a fun joke, but CBC is also supposed to be a news site; the same folks that were lying to us regarding Santa then expect to be taken seriously when they read whatever other news is handed to them to read. I realize it's a bit bah-humbug, and they are just trying to be cute, but I really don't appreciate it.
posted by el io at 7:10 PM on December 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
I heartily agree. A couple of hours ago CBC was reporting Santa's presence, quoting the NORAD website, as if it were all true. Yeah, it's a fun joke, but CBC is also supposed to be a news site; the same folks that were lying to us regarding Santa then expect to be taken seriously when they read whatever other news is handed to them to read. I realize it's a bit bah-humbug, and they are just trying to be cute, but I really don't appreciate it.
posted by el io at 7:10 PM on December 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
there isn't a bright line separating "Santa is real and lives in Canada!" from "Jesus is real and has blessed Canada!"
I think that there are some pretty clear bright lines. For example, no-one believes that Santa exists, and no-one is expected to believe that any proposition about his existence is expressed by the phrase "Santa is real and lives in Canada!". In speech act theory, this is a primarily performative act, with almost no constative quality: its purpose is not to express an actual proposition about the world, it is intended to achieve an effect.
I'd also suggest that jokes always, to some extent, defy at least some possible bright lines. If they didn't I suspect they wouldn't be jokes. If we're going to rule out making jokes that cannot be clearly and unambiguously delineated in meaning and intent, well, we're going to rule out jokes entirely. If your view is that no government should ever make jokes, that would be consistent and fair, but probably a bit sad.
There is also a huge distinction between Santa and Jesus, which is that Santa simply isn't a Christian construct. No matter how much the fundies, evangelicals, happy-clappers and assorted others insist otherwise, Christmas is, and always has been, a populist Solstice festival. The only War on Christmas that has ever existed is that waged by Christians.
posted by howfar at 12:53 AM on December 25, 2018 [2 favorites]
I think that there are some pretty clear bright lines. For example, no-one believes that Santa exists, and no-one is expected to believe that any proposition about his existence is expressed by the phrase "Santa is real and lives in Canada!". In speech act theory, this is a primarily performative act, with almost no constative quality: its purpose is not to express an actual proposition about the world, it is intended to achieve an effect.
I'd also suggest that jokes always, to some extent, defy at least some possible bright lines. If they didn't I suspect they wouldn't be jokes. If we're going to rule out making jokes that cannot be clearly and unambiguously delineated in meaning and intent, well, we're going to rule out jokes entirely. If your view is that no government should ever make jokes, that would be consistent and fair, but probably a bit sad.
There is also a huge distinction between Santa and Jesus, which is that Santa simply isn't a Christian construct. No matter how much the fundies, evangelicals, happy-clappers and assorted others insist otherwise, Christmas is, and always has been, a populist Solstice festival. The only War on Christmas that has ever existed is that waged by Christians.
posted by howfar at 12:53 AM on December 25, 2018 [2 favorites]
The land where his workshop is said to be—the North Pole—... is 817 kilometres north of Alert, Nunavut—the northernmost permanently inhabited place in the world...
So the North Pole isn't permanently inhabited? Does Santa go to Spain for the rest of the year?
posted by MtDewd at 7:43 AM on December 25, 2018
So the North Pole isn't permanently inhabited? Does Santa go to Spain for the rest of the year?
posted by MtDewd at 7:43 AM on December 25, 2018
Listen, this is crazy. I've seen Santa's summer house with my own eyes in Nuuk, where it is. He has his big house and the workshops further North, in a secret location but still in Greenland.
Also, Julenissen/Father Christmas is a nisse. There are many nisser throughout the Northern countries, but only one Julenisse. He came to Greenland with Erik the Red, and was enchanted by the local population of spirit animals and the other creatures of the spirit like himself. I've heard he married a lady from there. This whole Santa thing seems to be the Dutch dressing a Turkish saint up in Nisse-clothes and selling him as a brand to Anglo-Saxons. Weird. I mean, how would a Central Asian saint have magical reindeer? Or even choose to live in the North? See, it isn't at all logical.
posted by mumimor at 9:03 AM on December 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
Also, Julenissen/Father Christmas is a nisse. There are many nisser throughout the Northern countries, but only one Julenisse. He came to Greenland with Erik the Red, and was enchanted by the local population of spirit animals and the other creatures of the spirit like himself. I've heard he married a lady from there. This whole Santa thing seems to be the Dutch dressing a Turkish saint up in Nisse-clothes and selling him as a brand to Anglo-Saxons. Weird. I mean, how would a Central Asian saint have magical reindeer? Or even choose to live in the North? See, it isn't at all logical.
posted by mumimor at 9:03 AM on December 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
Ho, Astrid Lindgren has a fine description of the everyday Nisse (called Tomten in Swedish)
posted by mumimor at 9:10 AM on December 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by mumimor at 9:10 AM on December 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
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