Inside an expansive $21+ million NYC Townhouse [SLYT 10min 21 Sec]
January 31, 2019 12:40 PM   Subscribe

“The definition of nature in New York is a little different to the rest of the world, but here we see a Tree and that's pretty darn good.” Basic description: 5 bedrooms, 6 Full Bathrooms, 2 half bathrooms, Over 8,500 (eight thousand five hundred) square feet and (currently) cost a mere $21,900,000 USD (Twenty One million Nine Hundred Thousand Dollars). Covering four floors the Townhouse includes; a cellar gym, a large private terrace, and a subterranean car park that can fit two entire cars.

At 11 West 12th Street, in the centre of Greenwich Village (Manhattan) is a $21+ Million ‘Townhouse’. Come and see it's spacious inside and luxurious facilities via this guided video tour.

Enjoy
posted by Faintdreams (56 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
 


They took a cool old townhouse and made it look exactly like a Marriott Conference Center. Which, I guess, luxury?
posted by thivaia at 12:48 PM on January 31 [19 favorites]


It makes me feel bad about the world.
posted by something something at 12:52 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


Eat the rich.
posted by Going To Maine at 12:52 PM on January 31 [3 favorites]




Going_To_Maine you'll notice I did have eattherich as one of the tags on the post? :D
posted by Faintdreams at 12:55 PM on January 31 [4 favorites]


Psshh, $21 million and I have to use my Peloton bike in the basement?
posted by the_blizz at 1:01 PM on January 31 [14 favorites]


Mega rich people (at least the kind of rich person who might buy this Townhouse) seem to have the oddest (from my point of view) priorities.

- A personal laundry chute?
- A personal gym big enough for you and a select few of your friends to workout simultaneously?
- A Tree?? Really?

The only thing that made sense to me was the 'Private' courtyard, but even that seemed to be overlooked by windows from adjacent buildings so the level of privacy is debatable ::shrug::

The 'rainfall' shower also looked appealing, but meh.

Also the entire place looked like if you moved in and added *any* extra stuff at all (cooking utensils, books, clothes, things even the mega rich use) it would stop being a pristine living space and just a overly large house...
posted by Faintdreams at 1:01 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


a subterranean car park that can fit two entire cars

A car park that could only fit partial cars would be a really dumb idea.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:02 PM on January 31 [2 favorites]


Does the Paint World Need Another White? A profile of color consultant Martin Kesselman, who helps rich New Yorkers choose the right shades for their luxury residences. Question (to which I honestly don't know the answer): Does paying him (presumably) many thousands of dollars lots of money to choose a paint color for the walls differ from paying someone many thousands of dollars to put paint on a canvas that you can then hang on that wall?
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 1:05 PM on January 31 [3 favorites]


- A personal laundry chute?

In the (vastly more modest) house that I lived in for the first 7 1/2 years of my life, we had a chute going from the upstairs bathroom to the laundry room in the basement, and when we'd play Star Trek, we'd "beam down" to the basement via the chute, hopefully with a decent amount of dirty clothes at the bottom to cushion our landing. What I'm saying is, don't knock it if you haven't tried it.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:07 PM on January 31 [28 favorites]


I am not sure about the value of the 'Colour Consultant' over a standard interior decorator/stylist, but I'm strange in that even if I became a multi Billionaire overnight I'd not want to live inside something that could be described in it's entirety as 'Art'
posted by Faintdreams at 1:09 PM on January 31


I'm sure I could get by with a townhouse half that size.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 1:21 PM on January 31 [4 favorites]


My guess is that if you have the money to buy a $21M house, you have enough money to redesign the interior finishings to your liking. The interior looks like a Marriott because it's engineered to be inoffensive to as many people as possible—exactly like a Marriott is. That's to aid in selling the house. It's set dressing.

If you walked into the place six months after whoever buys it takes ownership, assuming they're buying it to live in and not just as some speculative vehicle (which is a somewhat dangerous assumption—although I think there are better bets in the global economy than NYC real estate right now, but what do I know), it'll probably reflect either the eccentricities or boringness of the owner.
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:21 PM on January 31 [4 favorites]


- A personal laundry chute?
- A personal gym big enough for you and a select few of your friends to workout simultaneously?
- A Tree?? Really?


Maybe I'm just weird but these all sound terrific and not particularly outrageous (I've never heard of a personal laundry chute but sure, I'd appreciate one if I had spare money to burn, which these people almost certainly would). Plenty of non-rich people have home gyms (at least in the sense of a workout area with some equipment), and if I were living in a huge city like NY I would certainly be growing as much plant life as possible to compensate, up to and including a tree if I had the space. My very much non-rich grandfather grew a lemon tree indoors for many years, it's not that crazy.

Maybe I'm just a Mega Rich at heart. Now to get the income to match...
posted by randomnity at 1:23 PM on January 31 [8 favorites]



chop chop this needs new app

gylotynr
posted by lalochezia at 1:24 PM on January 31 [4 favorites]


- A personal laundry chute?

Thirty years ago I lived in a lovely basement one-bedroom in a glorious Victorian apartment building. From a few things, I began to suspect that it had begun life as the caretaker's apartment for the building. Two closets side-by-side in my front hall -- one much as you would expect, and the other similar but with a skylight. In a basement apartment. The closet was a vertical shaft that ran to the top of the building, four stories above.

I have always assumed it was a laundry shaft at some point, but if anyone has other ideas, I am open to hearing them.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:24 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


My guess is that if you have the money to buy a $21M house, you have enough money to redesign the interior finishings to your liking. The interior looks like a Marriott because it's engineered to be inoffensive to as many people as possible—exactly like a Marriott is. That's to aid in selling the house. It's set dressing.

This is not new construction, despite the "brand new" in the brokerbabble. It's a townhouse from 1910. Now, I don't know what Malcolm Forbes did to it when he owned it, but there was period detail in there at some point. This was a deliberate gut job and a shame to do to a historic building if there was anything left.

(Location is fabulous and I would move in across the street if I could)
posted by praemunire at 1:30 PM on January 31 [4 favorites]


(could you bang where Malcolm Forbes hath banged? I admit I couldn't)
posted by praemunire at 1:31 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


Regardless of the exact impact, the bill went nowhere, in large part due to strong pushback from those in the city’s real estate industry who said that such a tax might “start to collapse the residential market.”

Don’t you need to reside to have a residential market?
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:32 PM on January 31


Psshh, $21 million and I have to use my Peloton bike in the basement?

Nah, if you own a Peloton you put it in the living room or the kitchen.
posted by fedward at 1:33 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


ricochet biscuit: Could also have been a trash chute. Particularly if it's adjacent to a chimney or other vertical shaft; a lot of the old ones ended with an incinerator (or staging area for an incinerator) at the bottom.

Depending on when the building was constructed, in-building laundry may not have been a thing. I've seen fairly old buildings with trash chutes though.
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:34 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


Here's an idea: Squatters turn oligarch's empty London property into homeless shelter

Tangential, but they seem like nice people and fun to hang out with (Movie Nights!)
posted by thivaia at 1:45 PM on January 31


Why are there more bathrooms than bedrooms?
posted by riruro at 1:59 PM on January 31


Guests. You don't want a guest having to use your personal bathroom.
posted by praemunire at 2:02 PM on January 31 [3 favorites]


$21 million? That's nothing: two blocks south – across the street from my apartment! – this townhouse is on sale for $59 million.

Which is about what Sean Parker – the Napster kid, the guy Timberlake played in that Facebook movie – spent to buy three townhouses down the block to turn into one giant mansion.
posted by nicwolff at 2:03 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


Having a giant mansion would stress me the fuck out. What are people doing with all that space? My husband and I moved from a townhouse into a real house this year, 2400 square feet, and already we can't figure out why we have so many rooms. What do I need with more than one seating area?
posted by something something at 2:07 PM on January 31


Most people who buy houses that size in the city are using them at least in part for professional entertaining.
posted by praemunire at 2:10 PM on January 31 [7 favorites]


That W. 10th St. library is nice, though, I'd just live in there (but without some of the furniture). That house gets a huge premium for width in a townhouse; the 12th St. one is a quite respectable 25', but W. 10th is double that!
posted by praemunire at 2:13 PM on January 31


Something about that dude enrages me.
posted by uberchet at 2:16 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


Wow, it's even uglier, more bland, and soul-crushing than I'd imagined from the comments. But I presume no one's going to actually live there for more than a handful of days at a time so I guess it would be as tolerable as any soulless hotel suite.
posted by treepour at 2:23 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


But, where can I put my Peloton bike?
posted by OHenryPacey at 2:34 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


Then again, up here on the west side, here we see a living room tree and it's less good.
posted by Mchelly at 2:47 PM on January 31 [4 favorites]


This is not helping my free-floating anxiety about finding a place to live for an upcoming job IN Jersey City, perhaps the worst place in the world to look for an apartment.
posted by mikelieman at 2:56 PM on January 31


World's most disappointing drinks cupboard. Warm white wine anyone?
posted by biffa at 3:12 PM on January 31


It's amazing how dull the place is, and how unimaginatively the rooms are used. From the proposed flow, clearly the actual living space is on the top floor, while the rest is simply showpiece. I would further guess that the sellers are intending the purchasers to move in without redecorating---that this isn't just staging, it's the final as lived interior.

I've seen lots of folks in the 10% buy enormous houses, and even years afterword appear to be camping in a corner of it while the rest remains empty and unused except for the obligatory once-a-year big party. This seems like the 1% version of that.
posted by bonehead at 3:21 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


World's most disappointing drinks cupboard.

No kidding. No evidence of a fridge, though one could be hidden away in the counter there, in theory. It doesn't appear to be on the same floor as either "wine cellar" either. It's a non-drinker's idea of what a wet bar should be, which is rather the whole concept in miniature, I suppose. The whole house feels like it was designed by looking at magazine layouts, rather than by people who live in houses.
posted by bonehead at 3:25 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


Real estate is always a great lesson in how different things matter to different people, for reasons. Like, if I had $21 million to spend on NYC real estate? Brownstone in Brooklyn, man. (Bonus: comes with more trees.) Or, hell, a Classic Six on the Upper West Side. OR BOTH.*

*No. Nobody needs that much house. All I’m saying is, you could own at least two NYC real estate fantasies for the price of that...thing.
posted by the_blizz at 3:27 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


up here on the west side, here we see a living room tree and it's less good

I hear a broker was trying to rent that one as a studio for $2800/mo.

Real estate is always a great lesson in how different things matter to different people, for reasons. Like, if I had $21 million to spend on NYC real estate? Brownstone in Brooklyn, man. (Bonus: comes with more trees.) Or, hell, a Classic Six on the Upper West Side. OR BOTH.*

Sorry, a Gold Coast townhouse--maybe not that Gold Coast townhouse, mind you, but a Gold Coast townhouse--is the freaking dream. If I were rich and not someone who can barely afford a one-bedroom, period, that's where in the city I'd be.
posted by praemunire at 3:54 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


$21 million? That's nothing: two blocks south – across the street from my apartment! – this townhouse is on sale for $59 million.

These places would sell for much more if they staged them with a bowl of fruit on top.
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 4:31 PM on January 31 [2 favorites]


OK, but why so many bathrooms?
posted by schroedinger at 4:43 PM on January 31


These are not contented people.
posted by notreally at 5:00 PM on January 31 [2 favorites]


Oh, cool, you'll be neighbors with the guy who manufactures the tear gas canisters that are being fired at migrants at the border.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 5:01 PM on January 31 [5 favorites]


For $21M you could come close to buying all fifty houses on the two blocks of my street. And it's a very nice street.
posted by octothorpe at 5:22 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]


These places would sell for much more if they staged them with a bowl of fruit on top.
posted by obscure simpsons
MetaFilter reference

FTFY.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:31 PM on January 31


There are many reasons to dislike this townhouse.

One of which is that it so strongly represents the feverish accrual of wealth in an ever dwindling number of hands.

But another is that it is just plain ugly.
Its boring, lacklustre design, mediocre in concept and almost entirely colour by numbers.
It represents small thinking- constrained thinking. Selfish thinking.

It represents the idea that you simply follow the herd, which currently says the more you have hte more you must make sure you keep to yourself.

Having wealth sufficient to acquire that property should properly require you to think bigger, and better, and to understand the obligations of wealth are to help humankind- not just oneself.

Its an ugliness I see getting worse, across the globe.
posted by Plutocratte at 6:46 PM on January 31 [4 favorites]


Guests. You don't want a guest having to use your personal bathroom.

That makes sense. I would have never even thought about guests. My fantasies of being rich always end with me in a Howard Hughes type madness.
posted by riruro at 6:52 PM on January 31 [8 favorites]


Honestly, my personal concept of wealth right now involves having enough time to catch up on Peak TV.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:03 PM on January 31


Real estate is always a great lesson in how different things matter to different people, for reasons. Like, if I had $21 million to spend on NYC real estate?

Now that you've said it, I know how I'm going to waste time and imaginary money on the internet for the rest of the night.

The house is scorchingly expensive and nothing special. But high-end real estate is like the art market, right? Half money laundering and half investment?
posted by grandiloquiet at 8:11 PM on January 31


ricochet biscuit: Could also have been a trash chute. Particularly if it's adjacent to a chimney or other vertical shaft; a lot of the old ones ended with an incinerator (or staging area for an incinerator) at the bottom.

Hard to imagine where a trash chute and incinerator would have fit into the scheme of things: this was a three-foot-by-five-foot chute between the front hall closet and the bathroom, now inaccessible the rest of the way up. Load-bearing walls all around, and my apartment had lots of lovely woodwork that looked to be original to the construction, nice sliding doors between the living room and the bedroom, etc. No other vertical chute or chimney or furnace nearby (radiators for heat, as I recall) If it had ever been a trash room, there was clearly a major renovation at some point.

A laundry chute doesn’t make that much more sense, I grant, but it still seems within the realm of the possible. But I am hard pressed to fit any scheme of logic onto a basement apartment with a skylight.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:11 PM on January 31


Perhaps it was a weird attempt to bring the apartment up to code? Analogous to the ridiculous Old Law tenement lightshafts.
posted by praemunire at 9:10 PM on January 31


Also, it may seem a little entitled, but I'm way more likely to have guests visiting and using the bathroom than staying overnight (at least needing their own space), so the ability to keep my own bathroom private would be valuable. I'd almost rather have a one-bed, two-bath (or one-and-a-half bath), than a two-bed.

(And while I'm wishing, I'd like a pony.)
posted by praemunire at 9:12 PM on January 31


Ricochet - Maybe a dumbwaiter?
posted by ruetheday at 3:31 AM on February 1


Oh, somebody asked about the bathrooms already. But even if you don't want guests using your personal bathroom, don't you just have one in the master bedroom (this sort of house would definitely have a master bedroom) and then maybe a couple others for guests? Or do we think the design is such that each bedroom has a bathroom, and then there is the extra bathroom and the two half-baths (I fully admit I did not watch the video, maybe this question is answered in it)?

I would totally live in a place this big, because I could fill up the extra bedrooms with foster cats who require isolation periods and you'd have a room just for litter boxes, which is luxurious for places without basements.
posted by schroedinger at 3:59 AM on February 1 [2 favorites]


A laundry chute doesn’t make that much more sense, I grant, but it still seems within the realm of the possible. But I am hard pressed to fit any scheme of logic onto a basement apartment with a skylight.

Well, where else do you install the pulley that allows you to share snacks and items with the people on the top floor without having to go all the way up there
posted by schroedinger at 4:01 AM on February 1


RE: Squatters turn oligarch's empty London property into homeless shelter

The squatters – Autonomous Nation of Anarchist Libertarians, known as ANAL – said they entered the building through an open window on 23 January and have accommodated about 25 homeless people so far, many of whom had been sleeping rough around Victoria station.


*slowclap*
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 4:16 AM on February 1


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