Surveyors Wanted
February 5, 2019 10:07 PM   Subscribe

Yeah, It's hard enough growing veggies on earth, I think I'll stay down here. No thanks NASA.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 10:24 PM on February 5

Wow, I don’t know who made that NASA page but on the iPad it’s terrible. Lots of black text on dark/black backgrounds.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 11:25 PM on February 5

Sure, I'll pull your finger. You'll discover it's a whole different game in a spacesuit.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 11:43 PM on February 5 [11 favorites]

Poor Gerry, he thinks there will be an actual burial when it's gonna be a buffet.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:35 AM on February 6 [2 favorites]

To be fair “The Vast Emptiness Will Consume Your Soul” isn’t that much more grim than “Work the Night Shift on Mars’ Moon.” How appealing!
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:29 AM on February 6 [4 favorites]

Fear the Martian canyon gods!
posted by doctornemo at 4:31 AM on February 6

I snorted out loud at "Good luck getting Netflix on that thing Alice"

Nice post. Great poster re-designs
posted by Faintdreams at 5:04 AM on February 6

I was disappointed by the lack of salacious content in the "NASA Reproduction Guidelines" link of the original page.
posted by XMLicious at 5:22 AM on February 6 [2 favorites]

posted by hat_eater at 5:36 AM on February 6 [1 favorite]

To be fair “The Vast Emptiness Will Consume Your Soul” isn’t that much more grim than “Work the Night Shift on Mars’ Moon.”

To be even fairer, both are more honest than "A New Life Awaits You On The Off-World Colonies!"
posted by octobersurprise at 6:54 AM on February 6 [5 favorites]

Alice setting up Netflix reminds me of the 1971 Chinese propaganda painting I Am Seagull.
posted by giltay at 7:07 AM on February 6 [2 favorites]

I can't be the only person who can never see pictures on threadreader, right? So here's the link directly to the first tweet (all others are replies in that chain) while it's still near the top of SarcasticRover's page.

Love these, by the by.
posted by solotoro at 7:36 AM on February 6 [4 favorites]

That last one reminds me of a phrase my dad would say: "as funny as a fart in a spacesuit"
posted by exogenous at 8:22 AM on February 6

These are funny, but I was thinking/imagining they'd be written from the perspective of the rovers we've left on mars.

'Come and join us! There is no return mission!'
'Don't worry! We kinda sorta know how to land here now! They won't slam you into the ground in a giant inflated ball!
'The weather is fine if you have as much radiation shielding as us!'
'Maybe you can bring some extra headstones for us?'

I think the rovers and landers would be good at convincing people not to want to go to mars if they could talk.

(These are not quite sufficient to appease my growing terror that smart people and people with money and the public all seem united in the goal of actually just sending some people off to die one of a hundred thousand painful and brutal deaths for absolutely no reason. No, scratch that, because they are fine with some people dying terribly because it'd be kinda cool for a bit. I love space and it's haunting and gross to imagine wasting resources and lives on such a prideful and stupid goal. Robots do it better, and they don't need posters to sign up.)
posted by neonrev at 8:56 AM on February 6 [3 favorites]

Maybe I'm in the minority but I love artwork on the originals.
posted by not_the_water at 11:29 AM on February 6 [5 favorites]

Mars, my arse.
posted by Termite at 11:40 AM on February 6

I like the art (the use of color in "Some User Assembly Required" is lovely) but good grief, couldn't somebody have taken five minutes to pick a better font?
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:03 PM on February 6

But if more posters signed up, then maybe we could keep some brave robot explorer friends here with us!
posted by hippybear at 7:45 PM on February 6 [1 favorite]

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