And a marginal contribution of prostatic secretions

February 14, 2019 11:58 AM

"It Is Definitely Pee": The Ecstatic, Pedialyte-Fueled Art of Performing Squirting in Porn
posted by Etrigan (36 comments total)

Several weeks ago, the wildly popular porn performer tweeted cellphone footage of herself squirting on a public escalator.

Whatever kind of fluid emerged from this artist, public escalators cannot consent.
posted by thelonius at 12:12 PM on February 14, 2019 [26 favorites]

whoever asked their monkey's paw for fewer poop posts: good job
posted by phooky at 12:19 PM on February 14, 2019 [187 favorites]

LITTLE KNOWN FACT the AIs that grew into Culture Minds were initially developed as public escalators that could enthusiastically consent to having humans eject body fluids onto them.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 12:22 PM on February 14, 2019 [24 favorites]

whoever asked their monkey's paw for fewer poop posts: good job

Not quite good enough: "accidental bowel movements from straining so hard—all in the name of trying to squirt"
posted by BungaDunga at 12:27 PM on February 14, 2019 [5 favorites]

Now, see, this is the kind of bodily fluid/function FPP I can get behind.
posted by nightrecordings at 12:30 PM on February 14, 2019 [5 favorites]

In order to determine if there was pee in the ejaculate Americans spent millions of dollars doing research and the Russians just feed them asparagus first.
posted by bondcliff at 12:35 PM on February 14, 2019 [44 favorites]

“Think if we dissected the male orgasm like this. Let’s dissect male ejaculate,” she said. “Let’s see how much urine is in it. Let’s really put it under a microscope. This approach to female sexuality has to stop.”

Semen was literally one of the first things to be put under a microscope.

There have been numerous studies on the amount and effect of urine in semen and the amount of semen in urine.
posted by jedicus at 12:36 PM on February 14, 2019 [20 favorites]

...within seconds she said, “I will probably break a lot of hearts out there, but in my opinion, and for my body, it is definitely pee.”

You're not doing it right.
posted by figment of my conation at 12:36 PM on February 14, 2019 [4 favorites]

"In the beginning was the void..." (Excretions. 1:1)
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:37 PM on February 14, 2019 [7 favorites]

Be thankful that the porn industry decided that the ultimate expression of female orgasmic pleasure should be peeing and not ripping a really huge fart.
posted by um at 12:45 PM on February 14, 2019 [8 favorites]

whoever asked their monkey's paw for fewer poop posts: good job

I'm cursed.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 12:47 PM on February 14, 2019 [9 favorites]

pedialyte's marketing ploys are amazing
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:54 PM on February 14, 2019 [9 favorites]

Pepsi Gold
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:54 PM on February 14, 2019 [22 favorites]

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson

Well, it's raining something.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:26 PM on February 14, 2019 [37 favorites]

But if we spoil the magic then we’ll have to find a new, revolting way to entertain men with cameras?!
posted by amanda at 1:27 PM on February 14, 2019 [6 favorites]

Well, it's raining something.

WessonaliP
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:29 PM on February 14, 2019 [8 favorites]

But the reality of the wide range of experiences behind squirting in porn has implications for the many of us who, given the sorry state of sex education, inappropriately rely on an entertainment medium to understand the basic mechanics of sex and form expectations around what pleasure looks like.

Exactly this.
posted by amanda at 1:33 PM on February 14, 2019 [13 favorites]

“Think if we dissected the male orgasm like this. Let’s dissect male ejaculate,” she said. “Let’s see how much urine is in it. Let’s really put it under a microscope.

Hey, I get her point, but at the same time, let's really do that. Is there pee in ejaculate? How much?

I'm worried at some point some actress is going to seriously harm herself with the water chugging, it's like an even worse version of the "hold your wee for a Wii" contest where someone died from too much water.
posted by GoblinHoney at 1:53 PM on February 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

But if we spoil the magic then we’ll have to find a new, revolting way to entertain men with cameras?!
Won't some body think about the poor, camera-less men? do they not also yearn for revolting joy?
posted by Dr. Twist at 2:02 PM on February 14, 2019

MetaFilter: Let’s see how much urine is in it. Let’s really put it under a microscope.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:11 PM on February 14, 2019 [9 favorites]

*every outright and honest piss fetishist rolls eyes at these poseurs*
posted by atoxyl at 2:27 PM on February 14, 2019 [4 favorites]

Hang on, is it even piss fetishism if everyone involved is explicitly focusing on the concept that it isn't piss, if people refuse to consider it might be piss in the moment, and if the fantasy is centered around it not being piss?

Like, isn't hey this is piss a necessary component of piss fetishism, or can you satisfy piss fetishism with warm tea from a pitcher that everyone refers to as tea?
posted by sciatrix at 2:37 PM on February 14, 2019 [15 favorites]

Hang on, is it even piss fetishism if...

Hang on, are you really going down an epistemological rathole on this? Because, first of all, I love it.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:18 PM on February 14, 2019 [27 favorites]

Episstemological, surely.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:20 PM on February 14, 2019 [24 favorites]

I credit her personal testimony that her ejaculate is pee, but in some women, it is not.
posted by jamjam at 3:21 PM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

Like, isn't hey this is piss a necessary component of piss fetishism, or can you satisfy piss fetishism with warm tea from a pitcher that everyone refers to as tea?

This is more analogous to having a pitcher of piss that's referred to as "tea," no? I don't happen to know whether the average "tea" fan is turned on or off by its true compositon - the premise of my joke is more just that this scenario is disorienting to contemplate for someone who is actually into piss and comfortable with it.
posted by atoxyl at 3:30 PM on February 14, 2019

I feel it’s inherently problematic for me as a hetero dude to fully weigh in on a lot of this, but as long as my partner is enjoying herself and the fluids expressed aren’t bright yellow or smelling like urine, I’m in. In my experience that’s been liquid released involuntarily and not because she feels the need to perform.

Sex can be messy. Genitals and fluids are involved. NBD.
posted by a halcyon day at 3:55 PM on February 14, 2019

I used to wonder because my first girlfriend would squirt at the drop of a hat. When it happens to my current partner I know she's letting herself feel every little bit of the moment and enjoying all of it. I'll deal with some pee if she can get to that place.
posted by @homer at 3:59 PM on February 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

I mean...it smells different? So...idk what the deal is with that.
posted by schadenfrau at 4:16 PM on February 14, 2019

As an enthusiastic and happy instigator of squirting, it's been clear to me for 20 years that it's at least in part pee. Mostly because the sheer amounts at least some women can express couldn't come from some small and mysterious glands, it needs something bladder-sized. Now, it smells and tastes different than pee, so it's clearly not all pee, but from copious personal experience, I'm sure there's at least a fair amount of pee in there.

And, you know, so what? If it's pee, even if it's 100% pee, that's fine, it's actually more than fine, because the orgasms associated with it are uniformly described as amazing.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 4:21 PM on February 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

you know how when you go to a fast food place and you have to serve your own soda at the fountain machine right

and if you look at the nozzle where your soda comes out you can see the carbonated water stream and the flavored syrup streams combining and sometimes the machine runs out of syrup or breaks and you just get carbonated water with maybe a little trace syrup in it but really it tastes plain, like water, not soda

maybe it's like that, kinda?

anyway I'm pbo and this is my contribution to the discussion of one of life's last great mysteries
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:26 PM on February 14, 2019 [27 favorites]

I'm worried at some point some actress is going to seriously harm herself with the water chugging, it's like an even worse version of the "hold your wee for a Wii" contest where someone died from too much water.

More of a "hold your wee to excite someone's wee-wee," maybe?

Note the scare-quotes because these terms exclude trans and non-binary people.

I wish more articles about sexual topics noticed and flagged this kind of exclusive language; once it gets pointed out once I tend to start noticing it in other places.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:15 PM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

ITT: No one has actually read the damn article.
posted by mannyfeefees at 5:31 PM on February 14, 2019

What's going on in porn seems potentially pretty orthogonal to what's going on when people have sex.

What's going on in porn generally doesn't seem terribly mysterious, to my understanding of anatomy.
posted by atoxyl at 8:23 PM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

full flowing feminine fountain might be the worst phrase I've ever read
posted by ChuraChura at 3:54 AM on February 15, 2019 [6 favorites]

this is the kind of bodily fluid/function FPP I can get behind.

Well you certainly don't want to get in front of it.

not that there's anything wrong with that


posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:47 PM on February 15, 2019 [1 favorite]