The Search For The Saddest Punt In The World
February 19, 2019 2:26 PM   Subscribe

National treasure and sports trivia troubadour Jon Bois is back with a new Chart Party, in which he examines nearly two decades of punts to determine which punt is the saddest of all. (SLYT) posted by NoxAeternum (45 comments total) 29 users marked this as a favorite
 
I once watched my college football team punt on third down after two bad plays and a holding call. That was more amusing than sad. Ol' Ball Coach was sure pissed off that day.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:44 PM on February 19, 2019 [2 favorites]


I immediately thought of 3rd and 57 UF/MSU but I went and watched thhat and realized he elected to take the safety there.
posted by drewbage1847 at 3:07 PM on February 19, 2019 [2 favorites]


Also, damn - 54 minutes about punting - there's a lot of what I know I'm going to find to be very tasty beans on that plate.
posted by drewbage1847 at 3:16 PM on February 19, 2019 [1 favorite]


Wait, so this thread is not about using a long stick to push a boat along rivers and canals?
posted by terrapin at 3:37 PM on February 19, 2019 [13 favorites]


"pooch punt" is my current record holder for word that isn't dirty that absolutely sounds dirty.
posted by Space Coyote at 3:42 PM on February 19, 2019 [12 favorites]


All 54 minutes are worth it for the punch line alone.

(A propos of nothing, the epithet used to describe Mr. Bois above piqued my curiosity about mefisms and led me to this MetaTalk thread from just over a year ago. I am pleased that an attempt has been made at compiling an authoritative list of Mefi's National Treasures.)
posted by The Nutmeg of Consolation at 3:50 PM on February 19, 2019 [3 favorites]


Wait, so this thread is not about using a long stick to push a boat along rivers and canals?

I was also expecting sad pictures of decaying abandoned punts on the river Cam, covered with duck poop.
posted by w0mbat at 4:03 PM on February 19, 2019 [5 favorites]


It's Fourth Down and What Does the Bellman Equation Say? A Dynamic Programming Analysis of Football Strategy, David Romer, NBER Working Paper No. 9024, Issued in June 2002
posted by the man of twists and turns at 4:06 PM on February 19, 2019 [7 favorites]


I've stopped watching football this past year but still watch anything John Bois and this is a delight. I started it during my lunch break and literally couldn't bring myself to turn it off. Really engaging and funny and the last two minutes are an absolute joy. Of course, I love stats.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:17 PM on February 19, 2019 [3 favorites]


holy shit the punchline
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 4:22 PM on February 19, 2019 [2 favorites]


"That's the #1 rule of data journalism: Come in with an agenda and bend the rules however you need to in order to prove your point"
posted by figurant at 4:29 PM on February 19, 2019 [21 favorites]


Needs more football...
posted by jim in austin at 4:30 PM on February 19, 2019


Metafilter: It's derived from my own dissatisfaction.
posted by overhauser at 4:39 PM on February 19, 2019 [8 favorites]


The very fun book Scorecasting tackles (see what I did there) the question of whether to go for it or punt in my favorite chapter in the book.
posted by mcstayinskool at 5:36 PM on February 19, 2019


I may have quit watching football, but I still believe Brad Childress was the worst coach of the modern era.
posted by advicepig at 5:44 PM on February 19, 2019 [1 favorite]


Wow economists have some truly gruesome notation. Learn to use LaTeX!
posted by vogon_poet at 5:54 PM on February 19, 2019 [3 favorites]


Nthing the utter delight with the punchline. Very good.

Bois can do no wrong in my eyes and this was an amazingly non-overstuffed video despite the length.
posted by supercres at 6:03 PM on February 19, 2019 [4 favorites]


Wow economists have some truly gruesome notation. Learn to use LaTeX!

I came here to get angry about the punchline but I see now that I have a greater foe.
posted by mhoye at 6:50 PM on February 19, 2019 [4 favorites]


(Honestly, though, the Chart Party series - and certainly Bois' format - should be high-school math-class-curriculum material. It's so good.)
posted by mhoye at 6:52 PM on February 19, 2019 [6 favorites]


(Honestly, though, the Chart Party series - and certainly Bois' format - should be high-school math-class-curriculum material. It's so good.)

Many teachers do use it - that's why Bois has pledged to keep the content safe for school (which was sorely tested by the Kaep episode.)
posted by NoxAeternum at 7:00 PM on February 19, 2019 [5 favorites]


This is not The Saddest Punt in the World, no. This is just a tribute.
posted by sourcequench at 7:40 PM on February 19, 2019 [14 favorites]


Yesss. Thanks for posting.
posted by Barack Spinoza at 8:06 PM on February 19, 2019


54 minutes about punting

i.e., this year's Super Bowl
posted by kirkaracha at 8:52 PM on February 19, 2019 [11 favorites]


"The obscene content... is up here."
posted by hippybear at 9:03 PM on February 19, 2019


I liked "I'm abusing algebra to throw a fit."
posted by NoxAeternum at 9:07 PM on February 19, 2019 [10 favorites]


Okay, that was stupidly entertaining to watch. Thank you! Nothing I ever would have sought out or even watched on my own, but this thread convinced me, and I'm glad!
posted by hippybear at 9:32 PM on February 19, 2019 [2 favorites]


The Fig. 4 joke.
posted by Sokka shot first at 9:33 PM on February 19, 2019 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: The angry Floridian mob makes a good point.
posted by Grimgrin at 11:07 PM on February 19, 2019 [6 favorites]


On the subject of Jon Bois, can I just say I very much enjoy his running joke that the @jon_bois Twitter account is actually run by an international team of writers who occasionally accidentally post their internal correspondence on Twitter?
posted by EndsOfInvention at 1:42 AM on February 20, 2019 [5 favorites]


I never thought about how much I love the phrase"pooch punt" before.
posted by octothorpe at 3:27 AM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]


/me Patiently waiting for someone to drop a clue about the Fig. 4 joke, which flew by me. Looked like baseball but couldn't make out more detail.
posted by whuppy at 5:33 AM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]


I think the moral of the story is that punts are a sad quitting ritual but no matter how much Jon Bois hates punts and these punts in particular they actually serve a valuable purpose in the larger game of football.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:35 AM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]


I was wondering about Fig 10. He went from 9 to 11, but there was a Fig 10 that had what looked like a picture of a music group or something.
posted by snwod at 5:48 AM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]


I wasn't sure if this was going to be about sad specials teams play in American football or sports bets made by Brits.
posted by ShakeyJake at 6:34 AM on February 20, 2019


The image of the band is labelled "Fing. 11." The band's name is "Finger Eleven." I only know this because the name also appeared in the "Special Thanks" portion at the end.
posted by user92371 at 8:39 AM on February 20, 2019 [7 favorites]


Figure 4 is a picture of Ric Flair applying the figure four leg lock.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 8:40 AM on February 20, 2019 [6 favorites]


Huffy Puffy: "Figure 4 is a picture of Ric Flair applying the figure four leg lock."

OK I actually didn't get that, but did see a Ric Flair entry in the "Special Thanks" that I was confused by.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 9:10 AM on February 20, 2019


Former NFL punter Chris Kluwe (previously) claims to have punted a sadder punt.
posted by chrchr at 9:44 AM on February 20, 2019 [13 favorites]


Chart Party is uniquely wonderful. I don’t even care about American football. I’ve seen enough games to understand the rules, but that’s about the extent of it. The same goes for baseball.

But I’ll watch every video Jon Boris writes and creates, they’re just so fascinating and well put together.

I don’t know what would happen if he ever made a video about a sport I understand and love. If he ever makes a World Cup Chart Party I’d be at a high risk for an aneurystic orgasm.
posted by Kattullus at 11:26 AM on February 20, 2019 [2 favorites]


I tweeted the video at Mr. Kluwe last night after seeing it here so I'm claiming credit!

Some of his followers determined that the punt's score was a measly 3.44.
posted by VTX at 11:37 AM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]


Kluwe's punt is, indeed, the saddest punt.

It was, quite literally, giving up with two minutes left to play. You have to wonder what was going through the coach's head.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 12:10 PM on February 20, 2019


The alternative was that they convert on 4th and 13, march down the rest of the field, score a TD, then an onside kick to hopefully get the ball back and score again. By punting you have a slim chance that there will be a fumble you can recover for a TD. Now you still need to recover on onside kick and score again but you didn't burn up all that time on an 82 yard drive.

Had they gone for it the most likely outcome for the Vikings is that they would have gotten the 1st down, stalled out and, depending on how much time was left, either sat on it or punt it anyways. I mean, I know they'd have probably just thrown an incomplete pass and turned it over on downs it would have been just like the Vikings to get the 1st down and get my hopes up only to have them immediately dashed.

By punting they either needed something wacky to happen on that play or they were done. The game was already a loss so it was just a matter of choosing how to get it over with.
posted by VTX at 12:36 PM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]


The Miracle at the New Meadowlands is a particularly sad punt. Youtube clip here.

In brief, after the Giants blew a three-touchdown lead against the Eagles in the fourth quarter, the game was tied with just seconds left in regulation. The Giants' punter, Matt Dodge, had been instructed by the coach, Tom Coughlin, to just punt the ball out of bounds (effectively sending the game to OT), and ensuring that the punt returner, DeSean Jackson, would not get a chance to return the punt. Instead, the punter kicked the ball to Jackson, who returned it for a game-winning touchdown as time expired. This happened in week 15 and the loss dropped the Giants to 9-5. They ended up missing the playoffs.
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 2:18 PM on February 20, 2019 [2 favorites]


I was hoping for a reference to the high school coach who never punts.

Also, my favorite line was, “I think being away from the first down marker makes you sad. And people punt when they’re sad.”
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 7:40 PM on February 20, 2019 [2 favorites]


It's late so I didn't finish it yet but I'm starting to suspect he's not going to deliver much information about small shoving-powered watercraft.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 9:11 PM on February 20, 2019


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