Grief is Like a Ball in a Box

February 21, 2019 4:07 PM

You've heard about "Comfort in, Dump Out". But maybe you're well past the acute stage of grief and finding yourself suddenly off balance and having trouble communicating what's happening. Grief is like a ball in a box.
posted by Anonymous (10 comments total)

Thank you. That was nice. No matter how civil and empathetic you may think you are, this is a nice lesson.
posted by swlabr at 4:16 PM on February 21, 2019 [2 favorites]

Wow this is insightful. I already have a couple of people I'm planning to share it with. Thanks. I like how it communicates that the moments of grief can be less frequent but each episode is still intense.
posted by selfmedicating at 4:23 PM on February 21, 2019 [3 favorites]

Someone shared this with me a couple of weeks ago and I can genuinely say that it was life-changing. (And I immediately shared it with a couple of other people.)
posted by epersonae at 4:40 PM on February 21, 2019 [2 favorites]

Nice analogy. I had one of those moments today with the instant, "I thought I was over this" thought.
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 5:03 PM on February 21, 2019 [3 favorites]

That's an interesting analogy, and it fits well into a couple of events I've had in my life.

I'd theorize that for some people the ball doesn't get smaller over time by its substance simply disappearing like magic, but by the material wearing down into a cloud of minuscule particles, each so microscopic that it touching the pain button barely elicits a response...yet the cloud of molecules doesn't ever stop touching the button. I'd call the aggregate reaction "depression". Ejecting a cloud of particles from a sealed box can be difficult.

It's not a perfect extension of the analogy by any means, but it popped into my head immediately on reading the linked Twitter posts so I put it here for my fellow Mefites to refine or dismiss.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:09 PM on February 21, 2019 [7 favorites]

Such a deceptively simple but perfectly accurate analogy. Thank you for posting this.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:50 PM on February 21, 2019

This is so accurate, thank you.
posted by ellieBOA at 3:59 AM on February 22, 2019

This is a great analogy. My dad died this week, and the ball is pretty big right now. I'll have to share the Twitter thread with others. (Also, my boyfriend is failing pretty badly at the comfort in, dump out thing.)
posted by weathergal at 9:37 AM on February 22, 2019 [4 favorites]

So sorry for your loss weathergal, sending hugs if you would like them.
posted by ellieBOA at 9:56 AM on February 22, 2019 [1 favorite]

This is so beautiful and right. It's the perfect analogy. My best friend died in October. I still haven't gotten through a day without crying, but it's just like this theory -- intermittent moments, short moments, when I remember something or see something that connects me to her.
posted by BlahLaLa at 10:56 AM on February 22, 2019 [1 favorite]