not kosher due to its extra dragon-typing
March 11, 2019 10:42 PM   Subscribe

 
Taillow and Swellow: kosher, but caused me to google things like "are swallows kosher” and get a bunch of weird shit in my results
Don't front, buddy, those links were purple and that's OK.
posted by Space Coyote at 10:58 PM on March 11, 2019 [4 favorites]


Psyduck and Golduck: perhaps controversial, but i am going directly AGAINST the Kashrut Laws in Pokémon guide by declaring these two kosher. yes, they’re water types, and could be arguably treated like fish, but look at them; they’re ducks. they muck about in ponds and they quack, and you know what they say about things that act like ducks and quack like ducks. one can argue they resemble a platypus or a kappa, but i am unilaterally declaring them kosher. Change My Mind.

Ha! All of this is gold!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 11:32 PM on March 11, 2019 [2 favorites]


How about Brock, or Ash—are they Kosher eatin'?
posted by not_on_display at 11:40 PM on March 11, 2019


Grass type shouldn't be eaten for the first three levels, four if you're in Israel.
posted by Joe in Australia at 1:34 AM on March 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


How about Brock, or Ash—are they Kosher eatin'?

Explicitly stated in the attached guide as non-Kosher. Sorry to disappoint you.
posted by Harald74 at 1:43 AM on March 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


I started typing "are pokemon sentient" into Google and it auto-completed for me, so I guess it's a question more people have asked themselves.
posted by Harald74 at 1:45 AM on March 12, 2019 [2 favorites]


This is right up there with the question of how much meat you'd get on a Womble.
posted by MarchHare at 4:33 AM on March 12, 2019 [2 favorites]


My question is, how do you slaughter a Pokémon according to Kashrut? that seems... complicated

(and I don't know why that is my question)
posted by wellred at 5:33 AM on March 12, 2019 [2 favorites]


I am very curious to see if the Detective Pokemon movie moves the needle on some of these, specifically the "fish scales must be visible to the naked eye to count!" rule.
posted by chrominance at 6:27 AM on March 12, 2019 [6 favorites]


With Passover coming up, I'm wondering if I can use the roasted neck of a Farfetch'd (#083) for my seder plate. This would be a huge timesaver because he comes with his own green vegetable.
posted by PlusDistance at 7:07 AM on March 12, 2019 [4 favorites]


On this night, we eat Gefilte Goldeen
posted by Mchelly at 8:04 AM on March 12, 2019 [4 favorites]


Not long after the pokemon craze reignited a couple years ago these "Poke" fast food restaurants poke up between the last old smoke shop and yoga studio and I'm still not completely clear if there is not some poke-like vegetable or something something that is harvested in Japan.
posted by sammyo at 8:45 AM on March 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


That kind of poke is a Hawaiian dish involving raw fish or octopus chopped up with seaweed and usually served with a marinade of soy sauce, although there's a wide variety of recipes these days.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:53 AM on March 12, 2019 [2 favorites]


raw fish or octopus chopped up

That's what they tell you, anyone tested for pokeman DNA? Hmm? nudge nudge wink wink...
posted by sammyo at 9:20 AM on March 12, 2019


Re: Psyduck and Golduck see this previously.
posted by Ashwagandha at 9:23 AM on March 12, 2019


Pokemon: Dog fighting the video game!
posted by KeSetAffinityThread at 9:43 AM on March 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


Can someone explain why they forbid Gyrados? Why are they treating it like a bird of prey? It's one of the few pokes that clearly has scales. Flying fish are kosher, right? Or are they just assuming it must be a predator? I feel like I must be missing something, since they treat it as obvious.
posted by team lowkey at 2:34 PM on March 12, 2019


That's actually in the original image. It says that Gyarados is treated as a bird of prey, presumably based on the prior ruling that Flying types are all judged as birds.

It sounds a bit dubious to me, given that there are lots of other Flying types that aren't birds. Very relevantly, you've a number of other blatantly dragon-like Pokemon with the Flying type, most notably Charizard. It also seems relevant to me that Mantyke and Mantine are not judged as kosher, though perhaps that's because they don't have a crop or gizzard.
posted by tobascodagama at 2:51 PM on March 12, 2019


Yeah, that's weird, right? Flying/Grass = fruit and vegetable, but Flying/Water = bird of prey? I don't know why they made that determination in that instance. If you accept the premise that all flying types are treated as birds (which I understand why they would want to do that based on defining which types are kosher; if you've already eliminated Dragon and Bug as not-kosher, there aren't a lot of flying type left that aren't birds), then it's probably true that Gyarados doesn't have a Crop, an Extra Finger and a Gizzard That Can Be Peeled. But it's also pretty obvious that Gyarados is more fish than bird? So probably judge it on the water typing?

And how do square dismissing Gyarados as a bird, but allowing Hoppip, Skiploom and Jumpluff? They don't have those bird-parts, either.

Mantine I can accept as not kosher, because they're similar to stingray, and don't have scales.
posted by team lowkey at 3:38 PM on March 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


My question is, how do you slaughter a Pokémon according to Kashrut? that seems... complicated

SHOCHET used SHECHITA. It's super effective!
posted by sebastienbailard at 6:05 PM on March 12, 2019 [3 favorites]


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