I Hold the Door Open For Strangers (IN PUBLIC, ALMOST CAUGHT!)
March 18, 2019 2:37 PM   Subscribe

Ryan Creamer (real name) is a rising star on Pornhub with nearly 4 million views--but his videos are fully clothed and safe for work, even if the banner ads around them aren't. After noticing the website's "Work for Us" option, the writer and comedian began posting short videos with names like "POV FOREHEAD KISS COMPILATION" and "I Hug You and Say I Had a Really Good Time Tonight and Then I Go." In an interview with Buzzfeed News (article SFW, links within article very NSFW) Creamer says: "It can come across like I’m making fun of sex workers, but everyone who is in this industry has been so, so nice. That’s made me feel really good." posted by duffell (27 comments total) 29 users marked this as a favorite


 
He did a Reddit AMA recently as well
posted by KirTakat at 2:48 PM on March 18


This is brilliant and wonderful.
posted by uberchet at 2:57 PM on March 18


This is totally great. It makes me want to take more advantage of PornHub as a venue. Like, it would be a perfect place to post experimental feminist video art, or avant garde drone music performances.
posted by latkes at 2:59 PM on March 18 [13 favorites]


Like, it would be a perfect place to post experimental feminist video art, or avant garde drone music performances.

not sure the initial "you liked this" recommendations generated by the site would be at all simpatico to people who followed your initial link.....
posted by lalochezia at 3:07 PM on March 18


I thought about creating a Tumblr where I’d curate porn which featured straight men looking like they were having fun during sex. This could include smiling (so incredibly rare), saying something genuinely sweet, expressing pleasure directly, getting carried away by orgasm. But PornHub was way too depressing to search through. And I don’t really get Tumblr. And Tumblr’s closed now. I love this idea! And yes to people using it to post art and commentary.
posted by amanda at 3:09 PM on March 18 [22 favorites]


Pornhub (or xhamster) can be fun to search in unexpected ways. "Smokerings" provided me with images of smoke rings. Trying to avoid the porn, and still find stuff is a kind of game.
posted by stonepharisee at 3:21 PM on March 18 [2 favorites]


I liked this AMA response to a question about whether he's been approached by anybody to do a "real" scene:
i recognize the logical escalation of the bit ive created is me driving the bang bus
posted by tobascodagama at 3:27 PM on March 18 [27 favorites]


This is the modern day "I read Playboy for the articles"
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:32 PM on March 18 [11 favorites]


It makes me want to take more advantage of PornHub as a venue. Like, it would be a perfect place to post experimental feminist video art, or avant garde drone music performances.

A guy I follow on Twitter did a couple episodes of a Bar Rescue podcast streamed through LiveJasmin as a joke, but I think they got shut down by the site for not being porn.
posted by Copronymus at 3:45 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]


i recognize the logical escalation of the bit ive created is me driving the bang bus

I'm almost totally certain that the mid-2000s PG Porn videos do not hold up very well at all, so I hesitate to recommend that anyone watch them, but they definitely had an episode about the Helpful Bus, a van full of friendly, fully-clothed guys who just want to drive lost and stranded people in their neighborhood around while having soda and friendly, chaste conversation.
posted by Copronymus at 3:52 PM on March 18 [4 favorites]


I love how various Creamers are saying hi to each other in the comments.
posted by clawsoon at 4:21 PM on March 18 [2 favorites]


Per the reminder above, are there truly ethical sites that are in existence?
posted by Four-Eyed Girl at 4:26 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]


> This is the modern day "I read Playboy for the articles"

No, it's the "I write articles for Playboy".
posted by ardgedee at 5:00 PM on March 18 [14 favorites]


Brightdesire and Beautiful Agony are ethical.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 5:01 PM on March 18 [3 favorites]


Four-eyed girl: yes, but you have to pay for them, and I don’t know of any strictly straight-focused porn. (So maybe my answer is “no”?) The Crashpad (wiki on production company) is excellent and worth paying for if you’re looking for ethically produced, feminist, diverse body queer porn.
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 5:40 PM on March 18 [8 favorites]


Dear Penthouse Forum,

You’ll never guess what happened to me last week when the cable guy came to my place to install a new router.

He arrived within the pre-arranged 2-hour time window, worked professionally and efficiently, and cleaned up the install mess before he left. My new router works fine and I’m so happy!

Sincerely,
darkstar
posted by darkstar at 6:20 PM on March 18 [54 favorites]


I thought about creating a Tumblr where I’d curate porn which featured straight men looking like they were having fun during sex.

I often wish there was more porn where the people involved seemed to, you know, like each other.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 6:27 PM on March 18 [20 favorites]


So the internet used to be for porn hosting, then Youtube made a splash by being explicitly not-porn, and now Pornhub is hosting not-porn whether it likes it or not... (pink panther painting futility)
posted by batter_my_heart at 8:11 PM on March 18


Afaik when the Tumblr Exodus happened recently pornhub was explicitly advertising how they're totally up to host *whatever* content you want to sell to people, it definitely doesn't need to be porn in the commonly accepted sense.
posted by odinsdream at 8:36 PM on March 18 [2 favorites]


Per the reminder above, are there truly ethical sites that are in existence?

You're soaking in it.
posted by jkaczor at 6:58 AM on March 19 [2 favorites]


This seems charming, but after that Jon Ronson audio series about your Pornhub has generally ruined livelihoods via content theft, I kind of hate it. (So, uh, YouTube?)
posted by Going To Maine at 7:15 AM on March 19


You’ll never guess what happened to me last week when the cable guy came to my place to install a new router.

He fixes the cable?
posted by Wild_Eep at 1:56 PM on March 19 [1 favorite]


"I often wish there was more porn where the people involved seemed to, you know, like each other."

I'm not sure how to articulate this, but your comment and the earlier comment by amanda about guys (not ever) smiling in porn brings to mind a discomfort and frustration I have with both porn and a general social attitude about sex that it's Serious Business.

The sexiest thing for me both in real life and porn is a smile and laughter. And that's very rare in porn and in real life (in my experience) only occasional because -- this is the part I don't know to articulate -- there's something about sex or how most people think about sex that it is pleasurable but serious. Like it's supposed to be about intensity, and intensity precludes the lightness of fun and happiness.

And pretty much all the attitudes and messaging I hate in porn, and avoid in real life sex, is pretty much the opposite of smiles and happiness.

I try to be sex-positive in the broadest sense and I understand that for people sex and what's sexy runs the whole gamut of human emotions and experience. Sex is many, many things. That's great! I just feel like we're not allowing enough cultural room for it to be, you know, happy and fun. I guess that's my thing, for whatever reason, and especially with regard to porn, I'm just so tired of how grim it is.

That sort of makes this guy's videos fascinating, in that he's intentionally going against the grain. That there's an audience for this demonstrates that maybe porn consumers would like some content that is, I dunno, more positive?
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 9:01 PM on March 19 [4 favorites]


Someone breaking out into a full genuine smile or making some unexpectedly tender or caressing move during porn is such a rare thing, both a relief to see and a real turn-on, that for years I classified it as something like a 'kink' or 'fetish' until I realized that it's just a normal instinctual human response to super basic things and not something I have to sheepishly explain to anyone thinking they won't get it
posted by naju at 9:36 PM on March 19 [1 favorite]


Oh my lord, naju, that's the saddest thing I've read today. :-( I wish all the smiles and caresses for you.
posted by clawsoon at 5:22 AM on March 20


I understand that for people sex and what's sexy runs the whole gamut of human emotions and experience. ... I just feel like we're not allowing enough cultural room for it to be, you know, happy and fun.

I don't really have much to add to your comment, but I agree.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 7:36 AM on March 20 [2 favorites]


It's all of a piece, right? Another form of toxic masculinity where joy is a thing for women and children? See also: any sports team photo from any yearbook. The girls teams are organized into silly poses (especially more so 15-20 years ago, I think) and the men are organized in straight lines, no smiles. I'm pretty sure the women are told to smile. I don't know what the men are told, they probably know that they are supposed to look hard, ready for battle. I have noticed in recent years, say, the last 5 or so, that you do see more men and boys smiling in their sports headshots. They probably still aren't told to smile but I'm glad to see that they feel more comfortable doing so or at least less fearful of being seen as something so soft as "kind" or "friendly."

I was watching the Netflix doc-series "Turned On." It's not the most fun thing you could watch to feel good about humanity and "adult entertainment." But Episode 4 with the porn shoot was eye-opening for how exploited I felt like the male talent was. Honestly, that kind of bummed me out for days and continues to bother me.
posted by amanda at 7:59 AM on March 20 [6 favorites]


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