Chances are, your cat hates your music

March 28, 2019 1:58 PM

Today is Respect Your Cat Day.* Here are 50 Fascinating Facts About Cats (Kirsten Fawcett, Mental Floss).


*like they need more obsequiousness from humans
posted by Johnny Wallflower (63 comments total)

Hi Johnny Wallflower, please refrain from editorializing in your posts.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 2:05 PM on March 28, 2019 [18 favorites]

(cats rule dogs drool!)
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 2:06 PM on March 28, 2019 [8 favorites]

Why are you asking labor to respect management with no reciprocity?
posted by ActingTheGoat at 2:08 PM on March 28, 2019 [19 favorites]

Well to be quite honest, I'm not especially impressed by her singing either.
posted by Emmy Rae at 2:13 PM on March 28, 2019 [8 favorites]

Chances are, your cat hates your music

ftfy
posted by Thorzdad at 2:19 PM on March 28, 2019 [5 favorites]

Chances are, your cat hates your music—but they might like tunes written by composer David Teie, who partnered with animal scientists to make an album called Music for Cats. Released in 2015, the songs are “based on feline vocal communication and environmental sounds that pique the interest of cats,” Teie’s website states.

I mean...what about Al Stewart's Year of the Cat?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:21 PM on March 28, 2019 [2 favorites]

One of my cats definitely hates when I sing or whistle. She gives me the Face of Great Offense whenever I dare to do it.

This list is fun, but sorely lacking in photos. The oil painting referenced, My Wife's Lovers, is a particularly sad omission, so I'll share it here for the enjoyment all Metailurophiles.
posted by merriment at 2:24 PM on March 28, 2019 [21 favorites]

#6:
Can’t afford a private eye? A feline might be able do the job for free. In the 1960s, ambassador Henry Helb—who then lived in the Dutch Embassy in Moscow—noticed that his two Siamese kitties were arching their backs and clawing at one of the walls. Helb had a hunch that the cats heard something he couldn’t, and sure enough, he found 30 tiny microphones hidden behind the boards.Instead of busting the spies, Helb and his staff took advantage of the surveillance and griped about household repairs or packages stuck in customs while standing in front of the mics. The eavesdroppers took care of their complaints—and apart from Helb and his companions, no one was the wiser.


Excuse me?! They were being spied on and then the spies just helped them out? Where can I get this kind of service?

Relevant video from 2013 - Flula Borg proposing that the NSA can offer assistant services in exchange for accessing his data.
posted by Emmy Rae at 2:25 PM on March 28, 2019 [10 favorites]

My roommate and I call this Kitty Consent - you can pick up the boi and rub the boi and snuggle the boi, but if the boi swats at you or walks away you have to let him be. This arrangement has worked very well for our mixed-species household.
posted by showbiz_liz at 2:26 PM on March 28, 2019 [13 favorites]

I, for one, would prefer to be drooled on by a dog than ruled over by a cat...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:39 PM on March 28, 2019 [2 favorites]

Excuse me?! They were being spied on and then the spies just helped them out?

I was sceptical, but apparently so!
posted by howfar at 2:40 PM on March 28, 2019 [4 favorites]

I would like to unsubscribe from Cat Facts.
posted by killdevil at 2:47 PM on March 28, 2019 [5 favorites]

Cats will definitely drool on you. If that’s your thing, they are on it.
posted by sjswitzer at 2:48 PM on March 28, 2019 [6 favorites]

Today I have disrespected my cat by drugging her and transporting her large-pupiled self in a cat-backpack to the vet to be prodded and scanned.

But I think she has disrespected me more by requiring bonus tests (at additional cost), requiring yet another heart medication (at additional cost), and peeing in the carrier just before pickup.

Also, it's plenty weird when medical professionals do that "we" thing -- 'how are we feeling today??' 'have we been taking our medication?' -- but it is even worse when the rest of the sentence is "peed in our carrier a little"
posted by little cow make small moo at 2:56 PM on March 28, 2019 [16 favorites]

Excuse me?! They were being spied on and then the spies just helped them out? Where can I get this kind of service?

Presumably all that shitty service was also spies, rummaging through packages or fixing your plumbing and electrical. In which case, you complain about the service to find out which services suddenly and rapidly improve, therefore are compromised, no?
posted by pwnguin at 3:02 PM on March 28, 2019 [5 favorites]

51. Cats have excellent eyesight, but they can't focus on anything closer than about 10 inches (25 cm).

52. On average, cats have more sensitive noses than dogs do.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:05 PM on March 28, 2019 [2 favorites]

53. Some cats just want to watch the world burn fall off a very high shelf and shatter into a million shiny pieces.
posted by zaixfeep at 3:07 PM on March 28, 2019 [19 favorites]

HRRUMPH...MY cat loves MY music. I play a lot o' metal and he loves to lounge on the subwoofer.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 3:10 PM on March 28, 2019 [5 favorites]

Cats love Lawrence Welk... not for the music, just for watching all the pretty bubbles pop.
posted by zaixfeep at 3:13 PM on March 28, 2019 [3 favorites]

39. Cats are genetically predisposed to not be able to taste sweets. They will likely nibble off your plate if it contains meat, but they’ll leave it alone if it’s laden with cake.

hahahaha

no

no they won't
posted by lefty lucky cat at 3:18 PM on March 28, 2019 [36 favorites]

My cat tolerates being held while I sing (Belle and Sebastian, some Liz Phair) and will even suffer through the opening lines of Yellow Submarine, but as soon as I start into Eleanor Rigby he must escape from my arms IMMEDIATELY.

Make of this what you will.
posted by janepanic at 3:23 PM on March 28, 2019 [11 favorites]

My dog missed me the week we were away but our three cats slept on my bed in silent truce and have tailed me relentlessly since I returned, making sure I am still here. I look forward to what they do when the oldest boy who allows one particular cat to invade his room returns from his travels, as that cat has taken to sprawling outside his door thoughtfully.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 3:30 PM on March 28, 2019 [7 favorites]

Cats don't just love Heavy Metal - these days, they design the bands' logos.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:36 PM on March 28, 2019 [2 favorites]

Sinclair Lewis says "CHOMP".
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 3:37 PM on March 28, 2019 [3 favorites]

No Dogs! No Crusties!
posted by East14thTaco at 3:43 PM on March 28, 2019 [2 favorites]

Here is my cat eating cake literally yesterday
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 3:45 PM on March 28, 2019 [9 favorites]

But does your cat also have its cake?
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:52 PM on March 28, 2019 [7 favorites]

Yes -- just 'cause a cat can't taste sugar doesn't mean they don't love butter, eggs, milk, and everything else that is in cake that ISN'T sugar.
posted by Xiphias Gladius at 3:52 PM on March 28, 2019 [6 favorites]

That's "Respect your Feline Overlord, Thumb-beast."

Or, at least, that's how I translate Totoro's meows.
posted by Making You Bored For Science at 3:56 PM on March 28, 2019 [3 favorites]

My previous cat, Casey, was the exception that proved the rule about cats landing on their feet. I never met such a clumsy cat in my life! That cat would go ass-over-teakettle trying to jump off the couch.
posted by Autumnheart at 4:05 PM on March 28, 2019 [9 favorites]

The ancient Egyptians revered cats, and even worshiped a half-feline goddess named Bastet. People who harmed or killed cats faced harsh legal sentences, including the death penalty.

At first perhaps; though (according to John Bradshaw's Cat Sense), the Egyptians ended up farming cats to be killed, mummified and buried with the status-conscious bourgeois deceased jockeying for a better place in the afterlife. The fact that many generations of domestic cats in Egypt lived in close quarters in this farming system is speculated to have selected for cats that are suitable for domesticity.
posted by acb at 4:11 PM on March 28, 2019 [2 favorites]

They were being spied on and then the spies just helped them out? Where can I get this kind of service?

Some activists say that if you suspect someone in your group of being a police informer, the thing to do is to put them to work by giving them a lot of organisational duties, because police informers are perhaps the ones a protest group can most count on to put in the legwork. Perhaps this was the same sort of phenomenon?
posted by acb at 4:14 PM on March 28, 2019 [14 favorites]

From #12:

he left most of his estate—totaling nearly $13 million—to the lucky (albeit likely indifferent) feline

I feel that parenthetical could be used quite frequently in almost every story concerning cats.

Longtime readers will recall the story of a small excellent cat named Delilah who moved out with the daughter and was subsequently held for ransom by the dickhead boyfriend. Delilah did not come back, but said daughter now lives with a very nice young fellow and just yesterday they have acquired a new small excellent cat named Gideon. He is a tabby with freckles on hims nose!
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:23 PM on March 28, 2019 [5 favorites]

Napoleon, Caesar, Genghis Khan, and Hitler are all said to have hated cats.

Also, Slavoj Žižek and Wes Anderson.
posted by acb at 4:34 PM on March 28, 2019 [4 favorites]

Yeah, one of my cats loooooves cakes and pastries, you have to watch her like a hawk. She has a specific sniffing-yo-pastries face.

I also sing to them and around them constantly, which they don't seem to mind, but they are MORTALLY OFFENDED when I take a bath or shower.
posted by stillnocturnal at 4:40 PM on March 28, 2019 [9 favorites]

So 2/3 of their day is spent grooming and 1/2 sleeping. That means at least 4 hours a day they're sleep-grooming. I have never observed this behavior, but I must assign high credence to listicle facts... Norman, coordinate!
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 4:44 PM on March 28, 2019 [7 favorites]

100 ways to love a cat?
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 5:29 PM on March 28, 2019 [2 favorites]

they’ll leave it alone if it’s laden with cake.

-free donut day, a decade ago-

squid: sniff ... ... sniff sniff
roommate: haha squid you don't want this, it's a donut! an apple donut!
me: oh no she'll--
squid: CHOMP
squid: FLEE
roommate: GOGGLE
posted by little cow make small moo at 6:52 PM on March 28, 2019 [14 favorites]

As the video above explains, cats like it best when you pet their head and neck region, while it is best to stay away from their belly.

Their cat is not my cat at all.
posted by pompomtom at 7:08 PM on March 28, 2019 [2 favorites]

they are MORTALLY OFFENDED when I take a bath or shower.

Are you sure they're not frantically trying to save your life?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:28 PM on March 28, 2019 [3 favorites]

Chances are, your cat hates your music—but they might like tunes written by composer David Teie, who partnered with animal scientists to make an album called Music for Cats. Released in 2015, the songs are “based on feline vocal communication and environmental sounds that pique the interest of cats,” Teie’s website states.

I lost my cat a couple years back and have not gotten another one, don't wanna go through that again. But I was curious despite not having a test subject available and so I took a listen.

The purring noises are very, very soothing.
posted by theony at 8:54 PM on March 28, 2019 [3 favorites]

I, for one, would prefer to be drooled on by a dog than ruled over by a cat...

That's Milton, right?
posted by bryon at 8:57 PM on March 28, 2019 [4 favorites]

The spies fixed the problems so the diplomats might then talk about something else, besides needed repairs.

My cats do what they want. They do purr when they know I am waking up. They purr when I pet them, when do I pet them? When they come around meowing after I have taken care of feeding needs. I have a squeaky closet door, my cat will hook a claw into a garment, and swing the door back and forth, for as long as it takes to awaken me at daybreak. I didn't see that in that fifty things, and I didn't see the part about dive bombing the bed from the high dresser at daybreak either. I once had a cat who loved cantaloupe. Cats are the best and dogs aren't so bad either. I sincerely hope to outlive these kitty bruhs.
posted by Oyéah at 9:05 PM on March 28, 2019 [4 favorites]

I have been playing David Teie's albums on a loop this morning. My cats are ignoring the music as they ignore all music (except our piano which they insist on walking and jumping across in the middle of the night).

I however have texted people to "Dump him you are too good for him, dump him" and "Burn them all burn them to the ground" and "now is nap time".

I think the music turns people into cats.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 9:11 PM on March 28, 2019 [4 favorites]

It is ("was," really, because it's my tomorrow now) our first Respect Your Cat Day with a cat! I'm a dog person, and being educated slowly, but one thing I have figured out is how the vaunted cat ladies (and gents) might become that way. Our cat is super sociable and flirty, with other cats as well as with people. She's a social butterfly, really. And she keeps trying to bring cat friends home. She entices them to our back door, summons us to open the door, and stood there is some giant goggly-eyed battered warrior of a tom cat in her wake as she sashays in and then stands at the door and chirps and sings for him to come follow her into the magical house of food, slaves, and soft places to sleep. I am resisting because this flophouse is barely big enough for the current tenancy, and the dog would strongly object ... but if she had her way we'd be the Chelsea Hotel of downtown cats.
posted by taz at 10:54 PM on March 28, 2019 [10 favorites]

100 ways to love a cat?

Just brush out his back, Jack, dump a fresh can, Stan
Get a big koi, Roy, just listen to me
Make a big fuss, Gus, don't need to feed treats much
Just clean up the pee, Lee, and get a cat tree
posted by zaixfeep at 1:04 AM on March 29, 2019 [23 favorites]

The average running feline can clock around 30 mph.

Even faster if they just pooped or it's 3am.

And bless the foolish inventiveness of those people in Liege. What is it about kitties that could possibly inspire someone to make them postal workers? Had they ever met a cat?
posted by kitten magic at 2:53 AM on March 29, 2019 [6 favorites]

I’m pretty sure my cat once peed in my bed because he disliked a Frank Zappa song.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 4:37 AM on March 29, 2019 [6 favorites]

I’m pretty sure my cat once peed in my bed because he disliked a Frank Zappa song.

I had this same experience with a roommate.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:02 AM on March 29, 2019 [8 favorites]

My cat is the opposite of taz's, he likes people but there is zero tolerance for any cat or dog presence in our garden, I guess he is super territorial (mice and birds are pushing their luck as well but that's more a dining issue). He did have a bunny friend for a while. They would sit together in the garden and he would let her eat our flowerbeds.
posted by biffa at 5:05 AM on March 29, 2019 [5 favorites]

Yes -- just 'cause a cat can't taste sugar doesn't mean they don't love butter, eggs, milk, and everything else that is in cake that ISN'T sugar.

My previous cat loved watermelon. She could tell, from the opposite side of the house, when I was about to have some and would show up immediately and loudly demand tribute. It was the only human food she was excited about.

I like watermelon, but sometimes I bought it because she liked it so much.
posted by Foosnark at 5:17 AM on March 29, 2019 [7 favorites]

My theory about cats really liking other cats is that it's the same mechanism as liking people: if a cat grows up to weaning around a lot of adult cats or a lot of people, then that cat will be chill about it. It's a neat strategy for self domestication: be a solitary hunter if you're in a solitary hunter situation, be a colony cat if you're born in a colony, be a people cat if you're born around people.
posted by wotsac at 6:27 AM on March 29, 2019 [8 favorites]

My male cat, Eamon, came from a shelter where they described him as feeling very sad because he kept trying to make friends with the other cats and the other cats weren't having it. He spends a lot of time cuddling and licking his sister. He is a cat's cat.
posted by stillnocturnal at 8:57 AM on March 29, 2019 [4 favorites]

they are MORTALLY OFFENDED when I take a bath or shower.

Mine is firmly convinced that she must be petted and scritched and fussed over IMMEDIATELY when I get out of the shower (nudity/wetness be damned). She gets vocal about it and she is not a very vocal cat in general. I've been wondering why this particular time--if she possibly sees it as a mutual grooming opportunity.
posted by dlugoczaj at 9:00 AM on March 29, 2019 [4 favorites]

She could tell, from the opposite side of the house, when I was about to have some [watermelon] and would show up immediately and loudly demand tribute.

My dear departed calico knew the sound of whipped cream squirting out of the can and was johnny-on-the-spot whenever that happened.
posted by dlugoczaj at 9:02 AM on March 29, 2019 [3 favorites]

I've got to spend a chunk of the day hanging out in my neighbor's bathroom with my cats (keeping them apart from her cats) while my apartment gets bed bug treatment. I've put on the David Teie album in hopes that it will calm everyone down. So far it's...working for me?
posted by kalimac at 9:09 AM on March 29, 2019 [3 favorites]

Our cat comes running when I take out a can of split pea soup. He's there begging, before I begin to open it. He loves pea soup. I believe he's telepathic.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:38 AM on March 29, 2019 [3 favorites]

On the subject of cats and sweets, my Papapichu loves anything sweet but particularly shortbread cookies that she recognizes the sound of the tin opening for. Here is here trying to steal an entire powdered sugar donut from me. She loves her some sweets.
posted by urbanlenny at 1:30 PM on March 29, 2019 [1 favorite]

A friend of mine has a cat that loves the bluegrass jams he hosts in his living room.

Some cats would be hiding under the bed all night, but not this one. She'll settle down in an instrument case (the velvet lining of a guitar, mandolin, or banjo case makes for a nice cat bed - fiddle cases don't seem to have quite enough real estate inside) or sit right at people's feet, just soaking up the strange sounds the humans are making with the devices they seem to carry around inside portable cat beds.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:36 PM on March 29, 2019 [5 favorites]

Brave Félicette!
posted by doctornemo at 3:21 PM on March 29, 2019 [1 favorite]

Yes, one of our cats decided to climb on me while this tab was open.
Spider is very muscular, and rewarded me with several head-butts.
posted by doctornemo at 3:22 PM on March 29, 2019 [2 favorites]

My cats love classical music especially if it features cellos or violins as they love watching the movement.
posted by asteria at 5:45 PM on March 29, 2019 [3 favorites]

My cat seems indifferent to most human music but is obsessed with Leslie Odom Jr. and will come listen to him sing no matter what sort of music he is singing.

This MAY be because her name is Theodosia.
posted by BlueJae at 7:04 PM on March 29, 2019 [5 favorites]