Them's the Frakes
April 15, 2019 10:21 AM   Subscribe

 
Dangit, I thought I'd be right for at least one of them
posted by aubilenon at 10:26 AM on April 15 [14 favorites]


Some how I feel better.
posted by Max Power at 10:27 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]


Unfrake my Heart
posted by duffell at 10:27 AM on April 15 [25 favorites]


The tide is high but I'm holding on
I'm gonna be your number one
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:28 AM on April 15 [9 favorites]


Frake out! Le frake, c'est chic
posted by Cash4Lead at 10:32 AM on April 15 [10 favorites]


Frake my day.
posted by BeeDo at 10:34 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]


Relatedly: Worf gets DENIED again and again
posted by persona at 10:38 AM on April 15 [22 favorites]


Oh! It's like grading proofs in abstract algebra!
That's false, no way, not in this case, you haven't proven that, not in this case, no, not in this case, that's totally made up, pure fiction, it's fiction, it's fiction, you made that up, you made this up, that's a made up proposition, it's a total fabrication, ...
posted by Wolfdog at 10:42 AM on April 15 [17 favorites]


I often throw some lowkey 90's-ish oddity from the bowels of some streaming service on the iPad to help me fall asleep at night, and I actually just stumbled across this show on Amazon Prime a couple weeks ago. It's "Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction" and it's a bit of an Unsolved Mysteries / Ripley's Believe-It-Or-Not vibe to it. Frakes hosts and it's all re-enactments of 'news of the weird' kinda stuff; but the hook is that half the stories are made up, and at the end he reveals which ones. Hence this supercut. Kind of a fun premise and you could see how an interesting show could have come out of it, but here it's mostly a slog. I guess you might check it out if you're a Frakes nut and you've already worn out your VHS copy of Alien Autopsy (which I just realized is also, bizarrely, subtitled "Fact or Fiction?")
posted by churl at 10:44 AM on April 15 [14 favorites]


NO YOU CAN'T
posted by Query at 10:50 AM on April 15 [12 favorites]


It never happened.
posted by kinnakeet at 10:54 AM on April 15


Now do one where he says it's real over and over
posted by bleep at 10:55 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]


Isn't that Avery Brooks?
posted by Cash4Lead at 11:03 AM on April 15 [4 favorites]


I love this show. Partly it's the reveal, but also all of the stories are complete bullshit. The ones he says are true are the same stories about ghosts and dead relatives calling with a warning in the middle of the night. I think it's on prime. It's fantastic to go to sleep to.
posted by lkc at 11:04 AM on April 15


It's not so much "Fact or Fiction" as "Some of these were made up by our writers and some of these were made up by other people"
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 11:15 AM on April 15 [13 favorites]


Anyone else think of cheatin Niel DT?
posted by es_de_bah at 11:30 AM on April 15


I get together with some friends every Monday to hang out and watch bad TV and we watched ALL of this show. It's great. And by great, I mean terrible.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 11:31 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]


This is very useful for rebuttal anytime someone claims that they were aware of the weird way that Riker sits down as far back as the 1980's.
posted by skewed at 11:34 AM on April 15 [15 favorites]


I’ve been binging Beyond Belief for a couple weeks! Love me some Riker. And the acting is fantastic! (The perfect level of cringe)
posted by Bacon Bit at 11:47 AM on April 15


Frakes hosts and it's all re-enactments of 'news of the weird' kinda stuff

F(r)ake(s) news.
posted by otherchaz at 11:51 AM on April 15 [5 favorites]


You figure that's probably about how Frakes recorded this stuff? Like he came in for one day and did these things for a whole season of weird stories, with a couple wardrobe changes to make it less obvious, then went home and played ... I don't know, Euro Truck Simulator? What do you think Jonathan Frakes plays?
posted by Naberius at 11:57 AM on April 15 [7 favorites]


Probably Trombone Hero.
posted by good in a vacuum at 12:00 PM on April 15 [22 favorites]


The similarities in his wardrobe and styling imply this to me.
posted by thesmallmachine at 12:00 PM on April 15


What do you think Jonathan Frakes plays?

I'm gonna go with Magic Bubble (NSFW for 8-bit nudity)
posted by duffell at 12:02 PM on April 15


You know, I never thought this before but a young Frakes could totally have been a young Kenny Rogers in a biopic (obviously you'd need prosthetics or a puppet for the contemporary Kenny).
posted by Ashwagandha at 12:05 PM on April 15 [5 favorites]


Someone needs to recut this with quotes from our Dear Orange Leader followed by the appropriate Frakes quote
posted by Ber at 12:12 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]


“A writer made this one up.”

Who wrote all the rest?

Now we have to interleave Riker asking if something is true from STNG.
posted by tilde at 12:24 PM on April 15


Frakeity frak
posted by clavdivs at 12:45 PM on April 15


“A writer made this one up.”

Now we have to interleave Riker asking if something is true from STNG.


You're thinking of Galaxy Quest.
posted by straight at 1:18 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]


Gah that worf one was awesome... a bunch of dudes sitting around a table deciding what to do with Deanna’s pregnancy (facepalm)
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:36 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]


> What do you think Jonathan Frakes plays?

Is that some kind of trick question?
posted by lkc at 1:42 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]


1. Too many repeats
2. He'd be great in an Orson Welles biopic
posted by kirkaracha at 1:44 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]


Looking for a definitive ranking of all the different flavors of Frakes we saw in that. Me, I think Spring Frakes with the taupe jacket was the best, but Stubble Frakes has a lot going for him as well....
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:45 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]




Need to periodically cut to Drunk Troi rolling her eyes
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 3:23 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]


the weird way that Riker sits down as far back as the 1980's.

I watched that and went (in about 5 seconds) from "huh, that is weird" to "HOLY SHIT, that is actually way more graceful/easy for a tall person to get into a chair next to a low table". When you have long legs (and especially long ankle to knee length) trying to slide across a seat without knocking seven shades of shit out of your knees on the table supports or (in some cases) getting your knee jammed between the floor and the underside of the table (while trying to get your leg from the side you got in to the side it needs to be in) is actually hard to do.

I'm.... I'm kind of blown away by it. SO MANY TIMES have I knocked tables and spilled drinks trying to get into and out of low chairs like this where having a low enough seat back would make the Riker method easier and less prone to Johnny FuckUp. How do we make this widely known as a sensible seat-sitting methodology so that my life can be easier?
posted by Brockles at 3:27 PM on April 15 [6 favorites]


The idea that you shouldn't get into and out of chairs like Riker does?

We made it up.
It's fiction.
It doesn't exist.
It's not real.
posted by bleep at 3:38 PM on April 15 [6 favorites]


What do you think Jonathan Frakes plays?

Trombone with Phish.
posted by terrapin at 4:00 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]


You know, I never thought this before but a young Frakes could totally have been a young Kenny Rogers in a biopic (obviously you'd need prosthetics or a puppet for the contemporary Kenny).

Yesss I'm not alone - that whole look with the tan suit, total Gambler.
posted by jason_steakums at 4:07 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]


whole look with the tan suit, total Gambler.

I don't want to freak anyone out but I think jason_steakums is in my brain.
posted by Ashwagandha at 4:51 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]


I thought about saying that Frakes was the worst thing about Star Trek, but I also think I know how he'd respond.
posted by rokusan at 6:42 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]


Watching that chair video, it's hard not to suspect the prop department of having a running joke about how high they could make the back of Riker's chair before he would ask for a shorter one.
posted by straight at 8:57 PM on April 15


Ugh, this just makes me want to binge listen Beyond Beyond Belief. And then watch all the Beyond Belief I can find.
posted by Katemonkey at 1:05 AM on April 16 [2 favorites]


While it probably would have been better to wait for three more comments to be posted, I'm surprised no one has posted or alluded to this.
posted by Strutter Cane - United Planets Stilt Patrol at 5:41 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]


This is very useful for rebuttal anytime someone claims that they were aware of the weird way that Riker sits down as far back as the 1980's.

Something's not sitting right


Dude stole that from The Donna Reed Show.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:34 AM on April 16


Lovin' the '70s look.
posted by WCityMike at 10:02 AM on April 16


The way Frakes' negations just keep building up like some fierce tv superego - reminds me of the Biblical ferocity of Heston of the Apes.
posted by doctornemo at 10:59 AM on April 16


Reminded me of Charlie Rose' by Samuel Beckett
posted by lipsum at 10:47 PM on April 16


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