Carpet Bag / Backpack
April 27, 2019 4:42 AM Subscribe
The metrics of backpacks. A bay area native's account of the outsider's precarious view from the inside of the tech industry.
"When I return the next morning, Dustin has sent me an email telling me that my crying the previous afternoon was disruptive..."
posted by amtho at 6:09 AM on April 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by amtho at 6:09 AM on April 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
It’s as if, when the rigid stuffy conventions of the traditional dysfunctional business place disappear, all we are left with is dysfunction.
Note: AutoCorrect tried very hard to insist that “is dysfunction” was “his dysfunction.” I think it works well either way.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:49 AM on April 27, 2019 [17 favorites]
Note: AutoCorrect tried very hard to insist that “is dysfunction” was “his dysfunction.” I think it works well either way.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:49 AM on April 27, 2019 [17 favorites]
Okay - if anyone ever asks me what it was like to be a temp secretary in a major corporate bank, I'm going to point them at this. I am feeling flashbacks to the very kinds of moments that made me finally order my agency "please never send me to any financial industry jobs ever again."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:00 AM on April 27, 2019 [17 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:00 AM on April 27, 2019 [17 favorites]
That was really well written, and bleak.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:11 AM on April 27, 2019 [13 favorites]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:11 AM on April 27, 2019 [13 favorites]
“I’m not interested in the right answers. I’m more interested in asking the right questions,” he says.
*cracks knuckles, develops eye twitch*
Monica tells me to measure my velocity and capacity at the end of each week.
*eye twitch intensifies*
Monica tells us that Sean is being promoted and that my position is being eliminated. They are restructuring; it is not personal. The next day Dustin comes in on his day off to meet with me. He wears black gym shorts and a black tee shirt, as though interrupted mid-workout. He takes me to a floor decorated for the Pony Express. There is a stool with a saddle for a seat and a pair of cowboy boots in the corner. Dustin wants me to know that it was his decision to not hire me. “I have to feel really good about a person before I bring them on, and I don’t feel that way about you,” he says. "Tough day, huh?" he asks.
*emits series of unintelligible sounds*
This was really well written.
And it rings even more true because you don't have to work in tech in the SF Bay Area to experience this kind of thing.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:20 AM on April 27, 2019 [16 favorites]
*cracks knuckles, develops eye twitch*
Monica tells me to measure my velocity and capacity at the end of each week.
*eye twitch intensifies*
Monica tells us that Sean is being promoted and that my position is being eliminated. They are restructuring; it is not personal. The next day Dustin comes in on his day off to meet with me. He wears black gym shorts and a black tee shirt, as though interrupted mid-workout. He takes me to a floor decorated for the Pony Express. There is a stool with a saddle for a seat and a pair of cowboy boots in the corner. Dustin wants me to know that it was his decision to not hire me. “I have to feel really good about a person before I bring them on, and I don’t feel that way about you,” he says. "Tough day, huh?" he asks.
*emits series of unintelligible sounds*
This was really well written.
And it rings even more true because you don't have to work in tech in the SF Bay Area to experience this kind of thing.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:20 AM on April 27, 2019 [16 favorites]
One thing that it touched on but did not discuss much is how so much of "tech" business culture is desperately trying to inflate using the Internet to do some utterly banal activity, like writing apps for selling discount hotel rooms, into something intellectually exciting and culturally revolutionary. The worship of "data" enhances this process of mystification, but it's rooted in the startup mythos of "the founder" as transformative genius, operating outside the banal institutions of society. Despite the fact that the entire sector is essentially now based on greed for easy money, the notion that the primary function of the tech company is to "change the world" must never be questioned.
posted by thelonius at 8:26 AM on April 27, 2019 [67 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 8:26 AM on April 27, 2019 [67 favorites]
Dustin needs one of those big solid stroke full arm extension windmill pats on the back. C6 or C7 would be a great place to land the jolly O 'thanks for having Me, pal'. If she carried her hips with the grace of thanks, additional impetus would be delivered.
What an ass.
posted by Afghan Stan at 8:49 AM on April 27, 2019 [3 favorites]
What an ass.
posted by Afghan Stan at 8:49 AM on April 27, 2019 [3 favorites]
In meetings, the man talking to me will often assume that I don’t understand, and he will look to Sean instead, seeking interpretation. In such territory, a man by your side is no different than having a compass or a map
oh I feel that
posted by nikaspark at 9:07 AM on April 27, 2019 [12 favorites]
oh I feel that
posted by nikaspark at 9:07 AM on April 27, 2019 [12 favorites]
The men I work with are not the geniuses of Menlo Park, the ones who retreated to garages and emerged with hardware that changed the world. They’re ensemble actors in an industry that favors singular greatness. They have not made fortunes or founded startups but have benefited from their proximity and physical resemblance to those who have. They bought houses and had kids in between booms; today they are balding and graying, and upon entering a room, they sniff every corner like another animal has already peed there.
[...]
We are not changing the world here. Except in the sense that everyone is always changing the world, just by moving through it.
posted by cgc373 at 9:07 AM on April 27, 2019 [21 favorites]
[...]
We are not changing the world here. Except in the sense that everyone is always changing the world, just by moving through it.
posted by cgc373 at 9:07 AM on April 27, 2019 [21 favorites]
If I light my end of the internet on fire do you think it'll spread and get the whole thing?
Wait, I'm on a hot spot on my phone and I don't think I've used an ethernet cable in like two years.
posted by loquacious at 9:20 AM on April 27, 2019 [3 favorites]
Wait, I'm on a hot spot on my phone and I don't think I've used an ethernet cable in like two years.
posted by loquacious at 9:20 AM on April 27, 2019 [3 favorites]
I once heard him use the word “grok.”
Is this a taboo/too-cliche word these days? I'm teaching myself data science and have used it in conversation with my husband (who works in tech) because I find it's pretty good at conveying a specific concept.
posted by hopeless romantique at 9:30 AM on April 27, 2019 [9 favorites]
Is this a taboo/too-cliche word these days? I'm teaching myself data science and have used it in conversation with my husband (who works in tech) because I find it's pretty good at conveying a specific concept.
posted by hopeless romantique at 9:30 AM on April 27, 2019 [9 favorites]
I’ve found “grok” to be eye-rolly since the mid-80s, but I don’t think it’s malignant.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:32 AM on April 27, 2019 [15 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:32 AM on April 27, 2019 [15 favorites]
For some reason this made me think of the mustache app episode of Silicon Valley. Actually, most things in tech remind me of that episode.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 9:48 AM on April 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 9:48 AM on April 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
One thing that it touched on but did not discuss much is how so much of "tech" business culture is desperately trying to inflate using the Internet to do some utterly banal activity
Not very well-said on my part - the essay makes this pretty clear
posted by thelonius at 10:29 AM on April 27, 2019
Not very well-said on my part - the essay makes this pretty clear
posted by thelonius at 10:29 AM on April 27, 2019
Great piece of writing with a lot to consider. I agree with others that I'm not sure how specific that sort of stuff is to the Bay Area anymore; "SF tech" is well on its way to becoming the new dominant business culture. It's like an introduced species, slowly at first but then quickly displacing the indigenous business cultures of any industry it touches. Sometimes that's a step up, sometimes... not.
But I do wonder if her experience at the unnamed hotel-booking company isn't more about being a temp or temp-ish employee than just "West Coast tech". I've heard a lot of people describe the frustration and general awfulness of temp positions—where you're "on" the team but not really "part of" the team. You're a short-timer, and people don't really treat you the same way as a "real" coworker when they know you're really on an extended job interview. I've always found arrangements like that to be toxic as hell, magnifying whatever inherent crappiness exists in a company's culture to begin with.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:54 AM on April 27, 2019 [14 favorites]
But I do wonder if her experience at the unnamed hotel-booking company isn't more about being a temp or temp-ish employee than just "West Coast tech". I've heard a lot of people describe the frustration and general awfulness of temp positions—where you're "on" the team but not really "part of" the team. You're a short-timer, and people don't really treat you the same way as a "real" coworker when they know you're really on an extended job interview. I've always found arrangements like that to be toxic as hell, magnifying whatever inherent crappiness exists in a company's culture to begin with.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:54 AM on April 27, 2019 [14 favorites]
This is a really well-written article, thanks for posting it.
There’s a lot in there, but among other things it paints a really good picture of working at startup-y tech companies. The over-inflation of the product’s importance; the insistence on quantifying every aspect of the work and tracking metrics; how so many people are trying to seem hip and “disruptive” without looking like they’re trying to. How much you’re expected to check your feelings at the door, while still performing excitement and levity about something as mundane as software. It all seems incredibly familiar to me from working at similar companies. It seemed sort-of fun when I was young and stupid, and has since become more and more grating.
I recently moved jobs to an old, boring company that’s still in “tech”, by which I mean it was founded in the 90s. It’s not perfect by any means, but I appreciate how many more of my co-workers don’t try to justify our product as a mission from God, admit their work is fundamentally dull, and leave promptly around 5pm to go do other things. It’s just a damn job, treat it as such.
posted by a device for making your enemy change his mind at 11:31 AM on April 27, 2019 [18 favorites]
There’s a lot in there, but among other things it paints a really good picture of working at startup-y tech companies. The over-inflation of the product’s importance; the insistence on quantifying every aspect of the work and tracking metrics; how so many people are trying to seem hip and “disruptive” without looking like they’re trying to. How much you’re expected to check your feelings at the door, while still performing excitement and levity about something as mundane as software. It all seems incredibly familiar to me from working at similar companies. It seemed sort-of fun when I was young and stupid, and has since become more and more grating.
I recently moved jobs to an old, boring company that’s still in “tech”, by which I mean it was founded in the 90s. It’s not perfect by any means, but I appreciate how many more of my co-workers don’t try to justify our product as a mission from God, admit their work is fundamentally dull, and leave promptly around 5pm to go do other things. It’s just a damn job, treat it as such.
posted by a device for making your enemy change his mind at 11:31 AM on April 27, 2019 [18 favorites]
The dot com boom was just as toxic but at least didn't have the smug air of pseudointellectual algorithmic science-lite about it. Nobody knew what they were doing and it was chaos, everyone making themselves busy and throwing parties until the electricity got shut off. This, as someone above noted, has the distinct air of financial sector bullshit.
Fantastic essay.
posted by grumpybear69 at 12:00 PM on April 27, 2019 [17 favorites]
Fantastic essay.
posted by grumpybear69 at 12:00 PM on April 27, 2019 [17 favorites]
My youth was full of unnecessary trajectories and fallen branches and the time I climbed too high and could not get down, but it was textured and unrepeatable, and I fear that today it would be written off as just a bunch of mistakes.
Och, that's lovely.
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:09 PM on April 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
Och, that's lovely.
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:09 PM on April 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
"I’ve found “grok” to be eye-rolly since the mid-80s, but I don’t think it’s malignant."
I definitely grok that.
posted by symbioid at 1:49 PM on April 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
I definitely grok that.
posted by symbioid at 1:49 PM on April 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
still performing excitement and levity
The one decent thing about East Coast law and finance is that nobody bothers with this crap. Please let it never spread.
posted by praemunire at 1:59 PM on April 27, 2019 [10 favorites]
The one decent thing about East Coast law and finance is that nobody bothers with this crap. Please let it never spread.
posted by praemunire at 1:59 PM on April 27, 2019 [10 favorites]
There are many things going on in this essay, which is well crafted and will stick with me but requires mulling before I can really decide if I like it or just think of as good art. It is a cat person feeling.
O, to be terminated from a company that focuses on quantitative metrics because of a bad feeling.
Bovine thighs, self-ascribed.
How Monica uses vessel and container. How the author uses vessel and container. How this pairs with the author's description of her lack of ambition.
The men as poor facsimiles of the geniuses of Menlo Park.
The occasional mentions of menswear as signifiers.
The question of what one can do as a child in general with a particular childhood in a particular place.
What is the gender breakdown of the migration to the San Francisco Bay?
Man, that is, a bad manager.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:04 PM on April 27, 2019 [10 favorites]
O, to be terminated from a company that focuses on quantitative metrics because of a bad feeling.
Bovine thighs, self-ascribed.
How Monica uses vessel and container. How the author uses vessel and container. How this pairs with the author's description of her lack of ambition.
The men as poor facsimiles of the geniuses of Menlo Park.
The occasional mentions of menswear as signifiers.
The question of what one can do as a child in general with a particular childhood in a particular place.
What is the gender breakdown of the migration to the San Francisco Bay?
Man, that is, a bad manager.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:04 PM on April 27, 2019 [10 favorites]
It’s just a damn job, treat it as such.
People say this, but it's much easier to have coworkers as your society than it is to have a community outside of work.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:08 PM on April 27, 2019 [12 favorites]
People say this, but it's much easier to have coworkers as your society than it is to have a community outside of work.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:08 PM on April 27, 2019 [12 favorites]
"When I return the next morning, Dustin has sent me an email telling me that my crying the previous afternoon was disruptive..."
That's good, right?
posted by heatherlogan at 2:37 PM on April 27, 2019 [37 favorites]
That's good, right?
posted by heatherlogan at 2:37 PM on April 27, 2019 [37 favorites]
More notes:
the description of her coworkers as balding and greying, making it either one of the more aggressively honest portrayals of millennials I've seen or (more likely) a reference to Gen X coworkers. Where does Dustin fit?
The use of Jerry Garcia to evoke her childhood, and Garcia as a relic of the sixties as much as Menlo Park . The idea that the Bay had been stagnant or is dying. But this connection seems a bit off, as Oakland is emerging.
The story seems to be a very straight, white story of Bay Area nostalgia, but that's many of our experiences.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:56 PM on April 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
the description of her coworkers as balding and greying, making it either one of the more aggressively honest portrayals of millennials I've seen or (more likely) a reference to Gen X coworkers. Where does Dustin fit?
The use of Jerry Garcia to evoke her childhood, and Garcia as a relic of the sixties as much as Menlo Park . The idea that the Bay had been stagnant or is dying. But this connection seems a bit off, as Oakland is emerging.
The story seems to be a very straight, white story of Bay Area nostalgia, but that's many of our experiences.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:56 PM on April 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
O and:
The one Stanford student. Just one.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:57 PM on April 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
The one Stanford student. Just one.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:57 PM on April 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
the insistence on quantifying every aspect of the work and tracking metrics
This has infested philanthropy like a hideous parasite, and now funders demand that nonprofits quantitatively prove exactly what their impact will be - it's not enough to say "this is the accepted best practice and has been for decades," if you can't guarantee a specific numerical outcome then your project obviously isn't "rigorous" enough to be funded. (But of course, data analysis isn't "direct program work" so nobody wants to pay for it, they just demand the results of it!)
posted by showbiz_liz at 3:50 PM on April 27, 2019 [9 favorites]
This has infested philanthropy like a hideous parasite, and now funders demand that nonprofits quantitatively prove exactly what their impact will be - it's not enough to say "this is the accepted best practice and has been for decades," if you can't guarantee a specific numerical outcome then your project obviously isn't "rigorous" enough to be funded. (But of course, data analysis isn't "direct program work" so nobody wants to pay for it, they just demand the results of it!)
posted by showbiz_liz at 3:50 PM on April 27, 2019 [9 favorites]
I agree that how her coworkers treated her was terrible, and is the result of systemic issues that persist in the tech industry. I also completely understand why she wouldn't write charitably about people who were shitty to her. I was about to say that none of her critiques of the tech industry were new to me or anyone else I know in tech (there are no people more skeptical of the tech industry than the people who work in it, IMO), but Hacker News loves it and finds it insightful, so maybe I just know a particularly cynical bunch of people.
posted by airmail at 5:09 PM on April 27, 2019
posted by airmail at 5:09 PM on April 27, 2019
It doesn't seem like a particularly new critique of the tech sector to me, for what it's worth. But it's well-written, and it has a certain white collar native vs. White collar import feel that I'm less used to.
posted by Going To Maine at 6:16 PM on April 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 6:16 PM on April 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
(But of course, data analysis isn't "direct program work" so nobody wants to pay for it, they just demand the results of it!)
I'm a data analyst who came out of a nonprofit background and may I just say ahahahahahaha BURN IT ALL ahahaha.ha.
(My sincere condolences, truly. Ugh.)
I'm grateful that my startup doesn't act like a cult, and also grateful that I figured out very, very early on that this is not my dream job, but it pays well and is interesting and allows me to clock out and do things that are my passion. And that this will be my last startup job ever. It's a gross, weird, self-important industry.
posted by kalimac at 6:35 PM on April 27, 2019 [7 favorites]
I'm a data analyst who came out of a nonprofit background and may I just say ahahahahahaha BURN IT ALL ahahaha.ha.
(My sincere condolences, truly. Ugh.)
I'm grateful that my startup doesn't act like a cult, and also grateful that I figured out very, very early on that this is not my dream job, but it pays well and is interesting and allows me to clock out and do things that are my passion. And that this will be my last startup job ever. It's a gross, weird, self-important industry.
posted by kalimac at 6:35 PM on April 27, 2019 [7 favorites]
I was at Apple from 1980 to 1992. Pretty much out of the tech world since then. But everything I read here on the Blue about today’s tech environment seems like a different world entirely from the one I inhabited so long ago. Walking in downtown San Francisco now, I overhear conversations of probably tech people - jargon, acronyms, business speak, cliches - and they all sound the same. A job interview I had with a small tech company here four years ago was a complete disaster, and it wasn’t me, it was them. Totally unprepared, utterly lame questions, and when I asked questions, their answers were indistinct.
The old days were terrific fun, terrifically frustrating, but overall really positive. Today’s tech world sounds like it is a bad fever dream from a Kafka with a sick sense of humor. Thoughts and prayers to all those wandering about with employee badges hanging off your necks. It sounds like you’ll need them.
posted by njohnson23 at 7:50 PM on April 27, 2019 [7 favorites]
The old days were terrific fun, terrifically frustrating, but overall really positive. Today’s tech world sounds like it is a bad fever dream from a Kafka with a sick sense of humor. Thoughts and prayers to all those wandering about with employee badges hanging off your necks. It sounds like you’ll need them.
posted by njohnson23 at 7:50 PM on April 27, 2019 [7 favorites]
Goddamnit 'grok' was useful to convey 'I understand this deeply enough that I can build other knowledge on top of it' and I'm not happy to find out it's passe.
posted by Merus at 8:53 PM on April 27, 2019 [10 favorites]
posted by Merus at 8:53 PM on April 27, 2019 [10 favorites]
Great essay, really great writing. I wish she had fleshed out a little more some ideas such as that of tracking which she only does tangentially. There is enough material for much more. I hope she can do more writing and not have to work for such shitty startups.
posted by blue shadows at 12:30 AM on April 28, 2019
posted by blue shadows at 12:30 AM on April 28, 2019
Is grok only now passe? Seems to me it was always at least as much a shibboleth of nerd culture as much as it was a useful term...
posted by solotoro at 2:12 AM on April 28, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by solotoro at 2:12 AM on April 28, 2019 [6 favorites]
The word "grok" has always been like the novel ' Stranger in a Strange Land', it tries really hard to come across as hip, but just comes across as awkward.
posted by ovvl at 7:06 AM on April 28, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by ovvl at 7:06 AM on April 28, 2019 [5 favorites]
Wasn't it adopted by sort of Whole-Earth-Catalog type hippies? People trying to be like those folks seems kind of embarrassing now, maybe, but it was hip enough at the time (early 70's).
posted by thelonius at 7:36 AM on April 28, 2019
posted by thelonius at 7:36 AM on April 28, 2019
For what it's worth, one does occasionally come across someone saying grok, but it does seem rare. I don't think this is actually too surpassing; Heinlein isn't really the vanguard anymore, and language based on cool things has a built-in shelf life. That said, I'd be interested in some way of measuring grok's true penetration; for my career it has always been a word people were saying somewhere else in the field, never where I was.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:23 AM on April 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Going To Maine at 8:23 AM on April 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
Going To Maine: "I'd be interested in some way of measuring grok's true penetration"
It's a valid word in Scrabble & Words With Friends, FWIW.
posted by chavenet at 2:19 PM on April 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
It's a valid word in Scrabble & Words With Friends, FWIW.
posted by chavenet at 2:19 PM on April 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
Grok is kinda just limping along, and strangely popular in New Hampshire.
posted by sjswitzer at 2:21 PM on April 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by sjswitzer at 2:21 PM on April 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
I use "grok" and I kind of thought it had crossed the threshold from literary reference to real word, as "catch-22" has. I was surprised to hear it's rare. But, as it happens, I'm from New Hampshire, so go figure.
posted by Daily Alice at 4:41 PM on April 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Daily Alice at 4:41 PM on April 28, 2019 [1 favorite]
I kind of don't mind grok from a sci-fi reader that's deeply and unconsciously awash in nerd culture. I find it awful coming from hipsters who think it's new and have no sense of history, context, what have you. The worst thing about that crew is how they assume that the current moment, its words and trends and passing fascinations, somehow form an apex of human evolution that you should feel lucky to be here for. It's sometimes exactly that, and we should appreciate those slivers of history that are made each day. But the vast majority of things, coffee, beards, backpacks, beer, are just old objects that are in a spotlight for a bit. They get warmed, maybe, polished by the handling, and then they are set aside next to last decade's huge SUVs and bacon ice cream. A BLT has always been good but no one ever needed bacon ice cream.
posted by Cris E at 9:49 AM on April 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Cris E at 9:49 AM on April 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
I liked this piece. The thing that's most distressing about it, however, is the number of people who have commented very favorably on it that go out of their way to point out they don't ever read anything like it. This is good writing, but it's hardly groundbreaking, Babe Ruth Changes Baseball 1920 stuff. There's a lot more out there just like it.
Fine writing is produced all the time, and it's frequently free. There was a Granta link here a couple weeks ago, for example, that was wonderful. Get out of your ruts and meet people you don't normally see and hear words that might not be comfortable. Please, America, go read more.
posted by Cris E at 10:11 AM on April 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
Fine writing is produced all the time, and it's frequently free. There was a Granta link here a couple weeks ago, for example, that was wonderful. Get out of your ruts and meet people you don't normally see and hear words that might not be comfortable. Please, America, go read more.
posted by Cris E at 10:11 AM on April 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
Grok is kinda just limping along, and strangely popular in New Hampshire.
I blame the Free State Project and assorted related Libertarians.
posted by rmd1023 at 10:28 AM on April 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
I blame the Free State Project and assorted related Libertarians.
posted by rmd1023 at 10:28 AM on April 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
Anecdata - recently I and two friends (all around 30 years old) saw an add for the streaming service Grokker on Roku, and they both were like "what kind of a name is GROAK-er?" I said "It's probably GROCK-er, like the word 'grok,' right?" Neither of them had ever heard the word 'grok' before in their lives and had no idea what it might mean. They asked how I knew it, and honestly I have no idea, because it's not like I actually know anybody who says it. I guess I just picked it up online at some point. I didn't know it was from Heinlen.
posted by showbiz_liz at 12:15 PM on April 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by showbiz_liz at 12:15 PM on April 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
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Great essay. Thank you for posting it.
posted by kokaku at 5:28 AM on April 27, 2019 [3 favorites]