Cite Your Sauce
May 4, 2019 3:13 AM Subscribe
Our local Thai place does an aubergine side which is battered, deep fried aubergine, shoved in a plastic takeout box with a ton of sauce so it's totally soggy on arrival. We've not ordered it in the actual restaurant so not entirely sure if this is purposeful, but it is absolutely wonderful.
posted by ominous_paws at 3:58 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by ominous_paws at 3:58 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
I can't agree with the author. Beans and toast is best when the beans have only just gone on. That means the toast is still crisp (there's a whole ritual to ensure it is indeed crisp), the butter has just melted, and the wet texture of the beans are a contrast to the toast, not something to overwhelm and destroy it. Similarly the example of cereal shows just how wrong this guy is. The milk goes in first precisely to ensure the cereal doesn't get soggy.
That Thai aubergine sounds interesting, but I bet it's even better in the restaurant when the textures are separate and contrasting.
posted by GeckoDundee at 4:11 AM on May 4, 2019 [12 favorites]
That Thai aubergine sounds interesting, but I bet it's even better in the restaurant when the textures are separate and contrasting.
posted by GeckoDundee at 4:11 AM on May 4, 2019 [12 favorites]
Crispy toast with some meat and gravy on top is a good CGS dish.
Or a toasted bagel whose schmear has soaked in a bit.
I like Weetabix best about 30 seconds after the milk hits, unfortunately it’s a soggy mess after a minute. So breakfast can be kind of exciting, with the urgency of timing that perfect bite.
posted by SaltySalticid at 4:13 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
Or a toasted bagel whose schmear has soaked in a bit.
I like Weetabix best about 30 seconds after the milk hits, unfortunately it’s a soggy mess after a minute. So breakfast can be kind of exciting, with the urgency of timing that perfect bite.
posted by SaltySalticid at 4:13 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
Fight me.
NAME THE TIME, PLACE, AND WEAPON
posted by duffell at 4:16 AM on May 4, 2019 [41 favorites]
NAME THE TIME, PLACE, AND WEAPON
posted by duffell at 4:16 AM on May 4, 2019 [41 favorites]
That special softness that a crispy chocolate wafer cookie gets when it’s part of an ice cream sandwich — if you don’t like that I don’t understand you.
CGS is also the key concept behind the Famous Chocolate Wafer Cake and its kin, where it is showcased as a delicious creamy art form.
posted by SaltySalticid at 4:21 AM on May 4, 2019 [6 favorites]
CGS is also the key concept behind the Famous Chocolate Wafer Cake and its kin, where it is showcased as a delicious creamy art form.
posted by SaltySalticid at 4:21 AM on May 4, 2019 [6 favorites]
Here in northern Germany there are at least three common herring preparations: matjes, preserved in oil and salt that have a kind of buttery texture; pickled in vinegar; and brathering, which are breaded and fried and then marinated and optionally canned. They have a soggy texture that is really CGS.
posted by ravelite at 4:26 AM on May 4, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by ravelite at 4:26 AM on May 4, 2019 [8 favorites]
I assume that this is an ode to the transition stage as crispy is *in the process of going* soggy, but CITPOG looks less appetizing than CGS. Though including chilaquiles is throwing me a little.
posted by pykrete jungle at 4:33 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by pykrete jungle at 4:33 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
This is one yum which I have absolutely no guilt about yucking. This is without a doubt my least favourite food texture in existence and reading this article gave me the shudders.
posted by Panthalassa at 4:36 AM on May 4, 2019 [10 favorites]
posted by Panthalassa at 4:36 AM on May 4, 2019 [10 favorites]
A soggy nacho at the bottom of a basket of nachos (you know the kind you get at the movies) is the best thing in the world. It's absorbed all the power of the surrounding nachos and is twice as powerful and flavourful.
posted by Fizz at 4:51 AM on May 4, 2019 [27 favorites]
posted by Fizz at 4:51 AM on May 4, 2019 [27 favorites]
There is a way that Mr. Roquette prepares turkey where the skin is crisp, like perfect bacon. It has a crunch I love. When it goes soggy, this is a tragedy because there is no way to restore that perfect crunch.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 5:18 AM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 5:18 AM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
Oh, hell no. Crispy is the best texture. Soggy crispy is the sadness of crispiness unfulfilled.
One of the hardest things for me to come to terms with in Japanese food and nearly twenty years of living here, is putting perfectly good fried things in soup (tempura into soba broth) or dousing them with sauce until the joyous crispiness surrenders to slings, arrows, and all that (katsudon, which should be crispy, but the egg and sauce just kills it).
It’s okay, though. Japanese potato chip technology and innovation is unparalleled. The chips are delightfully crispy, the best texture.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:31 AM on May 4, 2019 [15 favorites]
One of the hardest things for me to come to terms with in Japanese food and nearly twenty years of living here, is putting perfectly good fried things in soup (tempura into soba broth) or dousing them with sauce until the joyous crispiness surrenders to slings, arrows, and all that (katsudon, which should be crispy, but the egg and sauce just kills it).
It’s okay, though. Japanese potato chip technology and innovation is unparalleled. The chips are delightfully crispy, the best texture.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:31 AM on May 4, 2019 [15 favorites]
I will concede this one point: crispy turned soggy, while GROSS and WHAT and EW SICKO NO is still worlds better than crispy turned stale. There is nothing in the world that's grosser to me than a stale Dorito.
posted by duffell at 5:34 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by duffell at 5:34 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
I love Frosted Flakes but making a bowl gives me mild anxiety since I’m compelled to eat the whole thing before a single flake goes soggy. Soggy corn flakes are like eating wet paper.
posted by JoeZydeco at 5:37 AM on May 4, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by JoeZydeco at 5:37 AM on May 4, 2019 [4 favorites]
Uh, no. The best chicken parm is made at home so that it's still crispy.
I also won't get Chinese takeout unless I pick it up myself and the place is 10 minutes or less from my house. Soggy fried food is no good.
posted by tocts at 5:46 AM on May 4, 2019 [4 favorites]
I also won't get Chinese takeout unless I pick it up myself and the place is 10 minutes or less from my house. Soggy fried food is no good.
posted by tocts at 5:46 AM on May 4, 2019 [4 favorites]
I'm happy to endorse a spectrum from good (chilaquiles) to terrible (mushy cereal). Something like parm in the middle, I'm happiest if I can get one with some of it still crispy, and some of it gone mushy in the sauce.
posted by ominous_paws at 5:50 AM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by ominous_paws at 5:50 AM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
Ah. I see that someone is still wrong on the internet.
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:53 AM on May 4, 2019 [21 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:53 AM on May 4, 2019 [21 favorites]
What about soggy gone crispy? Or soggy with hot water on it? I fail to understand why people don't just ask for soggy in the first place.
posted by DJZouke at 5:57 AM on May 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by DJZouke at 5:57 AM on May 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
Black is white. Click me!
posted by pompomtom at 5:58 AM on May 4, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by pompomtom at 5:58 AM on May 4, 2019 [9 favorites]
Ghidora, the tempura into broth thing! Why???Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
posted by ominous_paws at 5:58 AM on May 4, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by ominous_paws at 5:58 AM on May 4, 2019 [6 favorites]
JoeZydeco, I pour a bowl of milk first, then pour in some cornflakes, but just enough to cover the surface of the milk. Eat the cornflakes, then add some more, repeat until the milk is finished.
Sounds fussy, but it lets you enjoy the whole bowl at peak crunchiness.
posted by AllShoesNoSocks at 6:00 AM on May 4, 2019 [7 favorites]
Sounds fussy, but it lets you enjoy the whole bowl at peak crunchiness.
posted by AllShoesNoSocks at 6:00 AM on May 4, 2019 [7 favorites]
How to eat cereal:
1. Pour cereal and milk into separate bowls
2. Add a handful of cereal to the milk
3. Eat while deliciously crispy
4. Repeat until cereal is gone
posted by Flannery Culp at 6:01 AM on May 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
1. Pour cereal and milk into separate bowls
2. Add a handful of cereal to the milk
3. Eat while deliciously crispy
4. Repeat until cereal is gone
posted by Flannery Culp at 6:01 AM on May 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
When I read this article, I was eating a delicious, crispy thin crust pizza with tomato, anchovies and mozzarella. Nothing in the article made any sense to me. Also: I kind of like soggy lettuce. So in everything, I disagree with this writer. I think she eats too much take-out.
posted by mumimor at 6:06 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by mumimor at 6:06 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
I am so opposed to this, this, abomination of an "idea" that I eat "frosted mini wheats" one at a time. I have them to one side, put one on a spoon, put the spoon in the bowl of milk to thoroughly wet it and get milk in the spoon, and then eat while still retaining some crunch, as every god intended.
When I'm dictator, "goopy" as a food texture, will be banned. Strong jaws, jaws honed to a muscular beauty by crunching things, will be our singular national trait. "They chomp" will be our official motto.
(This is not genetic, as both my parents seemed to enjoy foods with textures best described as pureed.)
posted by maxwelton at 6:08 AM on May 4, 2019 [9 favorites]
When I'm dictator, "goopy" as a food texture, will be banned. Strong jaws, jaws honed to a muscular beauty by crunching things, will be our singular national trait. "They chomp" will be our official motto.
(This is not genetic, as both my parents seemed to enjoy foods with textures best described as pureed.)
posted by maxwelton at 6:08 AM on May 4, 2019 [9 favorites]
Pancake soup!
posted by clavdivs at 6:21 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 6:21 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
Slightly old Oreos, where the wafer has just lost its snap, and has a more cake-ish bite.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:22 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 6:22 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
This is not genetic, as both my parents seemed to enjoy foods with textures best described as pureed.
Oh yes, now I remember why I hate soggy so much. My mum, who is a terrible cook, loves soggy. As in Swedish crisp-bread soaked in milk soggy. Depressing.
posted by mumimor at 6:27 AM on May 4, 2019
Oh yes, now I remember why I hate soggy so much. My mum, who is a terrible cook, loves soggy. As in Swedish crisp-bread soaked in milk soggy. Depressing.
posted by mumimor at 6:27 AM on May 4, 2019
Slightly old Oreos, where the wafer has just lost its snap, and has a more cake-ish bite.
AH YES, THE TIMELESS CHARM OF FOOD THAT INVITES THE QUESTION, "IS THIS A STALE COOKIE OR A STALE CAKE THAT I AM EATING?"
posted by duffell at 6:28 AM on May 4, 2019 [7 favorites]
AH YES, THE TIMELESS CHARM OF FOOD THAT INVITES THE QUESTION, "IS THIS A STALE COOKIE OR A STALE CAKE THAT I AM EATING?"
posted by duffell at 6:28 AM on May 4, 2019 [7 favorites]
You know the dish that made Julia Child want to become a chef? Sole meuniere? It's really simple: dredge the fish in a little flour salt and pepper and fry quickly in a pan. Then add butter and lemon and serve. Do you know what would have happened if the dish had sat in the kitchen a couple off minutes, and sole hadn't been crispy under the sauce?
posted by acrasis at 6:44 AM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by acrasis at 6:44 AM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
History would have been different. "The art of Italian cooking".
posted by acrasis at 6:45 AM on May 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by acrasis at 6:45 AM on May 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
He pours the milk with one hand while jamming the spoon in with the other, not wanting to waste a single moment of the magical, golden time when cold milk and Cap’n Crunch are together but have not yet begun to pollute each other’s essential natures: two Platonic ideals separated by a boundary a molecule wide.posted by zamboni at 7:05 AM on May 4, 2019 [7 favorites]
Ah, life: the process of going soggy.
posted by The Toad at 7:06 AM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by The Toad at 7:06 AM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
Insisting a subjective opinion about food is an objective fact is the most tired form of clickbait there is. Fight me.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:07 AM on May 4, 2019 [14 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:07 AM on May 4, 2019 [14 favorites]
One of the hardest things for me to come to terms with in Japanese food and nearly twenty years of living here, is putting perfectly good fried things in soup (tempura into soba broth) or dousing them with sauce until the joyous crispiness surrenders to slings, arrows, and all that (katsudon, which should be crispy, but the egg and sauce just kills it).
I was just going to point out that katsudon is a perfect example of this, and yes I do quite enjoy the CGS texture (or more precisely, CITPOGS like pykrete jungle pointed out). I think the key point is this, from the article:
My wife and son though, hate CGS with a passion. (She does the whole separate cereal and milk thing. He just eats his cereal dry.)
posted by destrius at 7:07 AM on May 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
I was just going to point out that katsudon is a perfect example of this, and yes I do quite enjoy the CGS texture (or more precisely, CITPOGS like pykrete jungle pointed out). I think the key point is this, from the article:
To experience CGS is to experience process, to access a magical, ephemeral space between here and there, past and present, crispy and soggy.There's this magical point where the food item is both crispy and soggy at the same time, and that is the best part.
My wife and son though, hate CGS with a passion. (She does the whole separate cereal and milk thing. He just eats his cereal dry.)
posted by destrius at 7:07 AM on May 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
Crispy-gone-soggy is the finest texture of food there is. Fight me.
There is no joy in trifling with the insane.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:10 AM on May 4, 2019 [4 favorites]
There is no joy in trifling with the insane.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:10 AM on May 4, 2019 [4 favorites]
I recently learned the joys of Crispy-gone-soggy in a jar. By which I mean Chili Crisp, the Chinese condiment. It's your usual Chinese chili sauce; oil and chiles, a little garlic. Some Szechuan pepper too, for numbness. And then added to it are weird little bits of crunchy things. Fried garlic, shallots, or onions are part of it. Also some bits of soy nuts, or peanuts, or maybe fried potato. Somehow it all stays crunchy in a jar for months. Also somehow the addition of those crunchy bits elevates chili oil into something really great. Each little morsel of crunch in the mouth has the mouthfeel of something totally soggy, from the oil, but there's still the crunchy kernel in the middle. It's pretty damn great.
Chili crisp is pretty common to find in jars, particularly Asian markets. Or you can make your own.
posted by Nelson at 7:25 AM on May 4, 2019 [12 favorites]
Chili crisp is pretty common to find in jars, particularly Asian markets. Or you can make your own.
posted by Nelson at 7:25 AM on May 4, 2019 [12 favorites]
Such absolutism! What ever happened to loving soggy Raisin Bran and Grape Nuts but hating soggy Corn Flakes or Cap'n Crunch?
Whatever happened to loving both the first crunchy nacho and the last soggy one? The crispy fries fresh and hot at the restaurant, but also the warm but soggy ones you got from the drive through?
CGS can be awesome, but for science sake, even that must be in moderation, people.
posted by tclark at 7:29 AM on May 4, 2019 [9 favorites]
Whatever happened to loving both the first crunchy nacho and the last soggy one? The crispy fries fresh and hot at the restaurant, but also the warm but soggy ones you got from the drive through?
CGS can be awesome, but for science sake, even that must be in moderation, people.
posted by tclark at 7:29 AM on May 4, 2019 [9 favorites]
Is there anything worse than hot crispy French fries gone cold and soggy? Ugh!
posted by sallybrown at 7:30 AM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by sallybrown at 7:30 AM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
For all cereal sogginess issues, the real answer is to eat Grape Nuts. Even when they’ve been in milk long enough to allow a slight softness to enter into their outer, uh, bark, they remain impenetrably crunchy at the center. None more crunchy, really.
As long as you’re okay with eating delicious gravel made out of wheat, that is.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:32 AM on May 4, 2019 [9 favorites]
As long as you’re okay with eating delicious gravel made out of wheat, that is.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:32 AM on May 4, 2019 [9 favorites]
Hi. I'm the monster.
I prepare cereal by pouring milk over it and letting it sit for 10-15 minutes. I've tried letting it sit over night in the fridge, but the temperature was offputting the next morning. I am happiest when confronted with a bowl of mush.
Grape nuts are my favorite, but they have to sit for like a half hour before they're acceptably soft.
posted by meese at 7:37 AM on May 4, 2019 [6 favorites]
I prepare cereal by pouring milk over it and letting it sit for 10-15 minutes. I've tried letting it sit over night in the fridge, but the temperature was offputting the next morning. I am happiest when confronted with a bowl of mush.
Grape nuts are my favorite, but they have to sit for like a half hour before they're acceptably soft.
posted by meese at 7:37 AM on May 4, 2019 [6 favorites]
This is of course, the magic and genius of poutine.
Fry-truck fries achieve peak goodness immediately after leaving the vat of brown oil and monotonically decay in quality from excellent to good to inedible cardboard with time and temperature loss. There is no recovering potato chips/fries after they have cooled.
The addition of gravy, however, elevates and transmutes the fry, mixing the sauce with the crisp fry to produce that CGS texture, and extending the life of the poutine. Indeed the critical time factor for the poutine becomes the resident time of the curds, whether they're still squeaky or whether they've gone melty and soft. Both are edible, but the apex of poutine is, of course, squeaky curds. That's not to say that old, cold poutine is all that good either, but it holds a level of acceptability longer than fries, and reheats even to some level of palatability.
In short, CGS is a key insight into poutine science.
posted by bonehead at 8:02 AM on May 4, 2019 [8 favorites]
Fry-truck fries achieve peak goodness immediately after leaving the vat of brown oil and monotonically decay in quality from excellent to good to inedible cardboard with time and temperature loss. There is no recovering potato chips/fries after they have cooled.
The addition of gravy, however, elevates and transmutes the fry, mixing the sauce with the crisp fry to produce that CGS texture, and extending the life of the poutine. Indeed the critical time factor for the poutine becomes the resident time of the curds, whether they're still squeaky or whether they've gone melty and soft. Both are edible, but the apex of poutine is, of course, squeaky curds. That's not to say that old, cold poutine is all that good either, but it holds a level of acceptability longer than fries, and reheats even to some level of palatability.
In short, CGS is a key insight into poutine science.
posted by bonehead at 8:02 AM on May 4, 2019 [8 favorites]
I will fight you and I'm bringing 'Crispy outside and chewy inside' to the battle
posted by Pastor of Muppets at 8:27 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Pastor of Muppets at 8:27 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
Is there anything worse than hot crispy French fries gone cold and soggy? Ugh!
...that's my favourite form of potato. Pass me all your unwanted CSG chips and leave me to die happy.
posted by Gin and Broadband at 8:52 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
...that's my favourite form of potato. Pass me all your unwanted CSG chips and leave me to die happy.
posted by Gin and Broadband at 8:52 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
Somehow I misread that as "...leave me to die floppy" which seems appropriate for CSG chips.
posted by moonmilk at 8:58 AM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by moonmilk at 8:58 AM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
The argument against CGS can be summed up in one word: Bacon. When bacon loses its crunch, it is a culinary tragedy.
Also, I have become an advocate for those French Fried Onions in a can, but only when added as a garnish/textural extra at the very end of preparation. Many products can add a 'last-minute' crunch, but none are better... except bacon.
And I can think of no sub-genre of Pizza that is improved by being crispy. And the only pizza topping that gains crispness upon cooking is pepperoni, which I consider the strangest form of sausage that exists. (Not that there's anything wrong with that...)
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:35 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
Also, I have become an advocate for those French Fried Onions in a can, but only when added as a garnish/textural extra at the very end of preparation. Many products can add a 'last-minute' crunch, but none are better... except bacon.
And I can think of no sub-genre of Pizza that is improved by being crispy. And the only pizza topping that gains crispness upon cooking is pepperoni, which I consider the strangest form of sausage that exists. (Not that there's anything wrong with that...)
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:35 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
It's not CGS she describes but CJWS (Crispy Juxtaposed with Soggy) with the all important Interstitium that forms when S meets C. You definitely need all three--C,I,S-- to have the majic, not just CGS, cuz that is C approaching S
posted by waving at 9:41 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by waving at 9:41 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
Bacon. When bacon loses its crunch, it is a culinary tragedy
My Caesar-salad loving nieces and nephews would love to discuss this with you over lunch. Bring lots and lots and lots of dressing.
posted by bonehead at 9:41 AM on May 4, 2019
My Caesar-salad loving nieces and nephews would love to discuss this with you over lunch. Bring lots and lots and lots of dressing.
posted by bonehead at 9:41 AM on May 4, 2019
Terry Pratchett was correct when he posited that the most valuable fat deposits in Uberwald were the ones with the highest concentration of BCBs (Burnt Crunchy Bits) what is the best part of brisket? The burnt ends. What is the best part of lasagna? The crispy cheese at the edge. How do you know meat is cooked really well? When it's crispy on the outside and tender in the middle.
Crispy WITH chewy is the greatest texture.
posted by East14thTaco at 9:43 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
Crispy WITH chewy is the greatest texture.
posted by East14thTaco at 9:43 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
Crispy-gone-soggy is the finest texture of food there is. Fight me.
I've found that fighting food writers is an old food writer trick meant to distract me and turn my once-crispy food soggy. Not making that mistake twice, food writer. /food
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:44 AM on May 4, 2019
I've found that fighting food writers is an old food writer trick meant to distract me and turn my once-crispy food soggy. Not making that mistake twice, food writer. /food
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:44 AM on May 4, 2019
In general I'm not a fan of CGS (sad, soggy pakoris, I'm looking at you) but the one exception I make is for Korean fried chicken coated with a spicy / sweet sauce. The chicken has a minimal corn starch crust, so the CGS is mild at first, but as it fully soaks it is no less appealing.
posted by ananci at 9:44 AM on May 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by ananci at 9:44 AM on May 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
I prefer both textures in transition: a big biscuit shredded wheat, left whole, with milk about halfway up the side. Both soggy and crunchy, with the ratio changing over the course of the meal due to capillary action...
posted by jim in austin at 9:47 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by jim in austin at 9:47 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
My initial reaction was a shudder -- I eat my cereal dry. I eat my salad dry. I butter my toasted bagels, but I prefer to let them go cold first, to avoid any melting of said butter. (Cold butter on a cold, hard, slightly-burnt bagel: this is my joy.) Hell, I only *dip* waffles in syrup, and waffles are as far as I go -- even syrupless pancakes are too squishy for me.
There are CGS foods I adore, like chilaquiles or lasagnas, or the aforementioned applications of eggplant, but they are best when you can claim the slightly-overdone, brown-and-crispy corners of the dish for yourself. Crisp is beauty. I would argue that the highest food form may in fact be SGC -- soggy gone crispy! Mashed potatoes fried into crispy cakes. Macaroni and cheese reheated until it goes chewy and wonderful. It tastes like the overcoming of entropy, the victory of life over the forces of death.
...I do love dumplings and pork buns, though. I had never thought to put them in the CGS category. And I like my bacon floppy. Hm.
posted by halation at 9:51 AM on May 4, 2019 [4 favorites]
There are CGS foods I adore, like chilaquiles or lasagnas, or the aforementioned applications of eggplant, but they are best when you can claim the slightly-overdone, brown-and-crispy corners of the dish for yourself. Crisp is beauty. I would argue that the highest food form may in fact be SGC -- soggy gone crispy! Mashed potatoes fried into crispy cakes. Macaroni and cheese reheated until it goes chewy and wonderful. It tastes like the overcoming of entropy, the victory of life over the forces of death.
...I do love dumplings and pork buns, though. I had never thought to put them in the CGS category. And I like my bacon floppy. Hm.
posted by halation at 9:51 AM on May 4, 2019 [4 favorites]
Crispy gone soggy is just soggy. The correct name is moist sponge. It's a valid texture but the author is conflating how a thing got that way versus what a thing is. Should have consulted a food scientist on the right food ontology.
posted by polymodus at 10:31 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by polymodus at 10:31 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
A friend taught me the Chinese word for this a long time ago but I can't remember it for the life of me, does anyone here know it?
posted by weewooweewoo at 10:41 AM on May 4, 2019
posted by weewooweewoo at 10:41 AM on May 4, 2019
Crispy-gone-soggy is the finest texture of food there is. Fight me.
No. Are you insane? Why would I fight you over a personal preference?
I'm absolutely done with internet fights over what food preference is correct versus which one warrants a death sentence. Done. Over it. Not gonna. LIfe's too short. You do you. Enjoy your texture. It's not my favorite, but *eh* I'm happy you like it so much.
Aaah, that fels good to get off the chest periodically. Man, people are so weird.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 10:43 AM on May 4, 2019 [4 favorites]
No. Are you insane? Why would I fight you over a personal preference?
I'm absolutely done with internet fights over what food preference is correct versus which one warrants a death sentence. Done. Over it. Not gonna. LIfe's too short. You do you. Enjoy your texture. It's not my favorite, but *eh* I'm happy you like it so much.
Aaah, that fels good to get off the chest periodically. Man, people are so weird.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 10:43 AM on May 4, 2019 [4 favorites]
The milk goes in first precisely to ensure the cereal doesn't get soggy.
Milk in first?! Milk in first?!!!!
Dear God.
posted by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on May 4, 2019
Milk in first?! Milk in first?!!!!
Dear God.
posted by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on May 4, 2019
Every once in a while I read a thread on Metafilter about on a topic I thought I was neutral about. But then I quickly realize that, in fact, I have EXTREMELY STRONG VIEWS on it.
In other words: I never realized how much I'm put off by crispy-gone-soggy food. I'm a pretty slow eater until there's the danger of CGS, in which case I turn into a speed eating machine.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:10 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
In other words: I never realized how much I'm put off by crispy-gone-soggy food. I'm a pretty slow eater until there's the danger of CGS, in which case I turn into a speed eating machine.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:10 AM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
Give me all your bitter craft beers and let me die hoppy.
Give me all your whole wheat bread with extra wheat germ and let me die hippy.
Give me all your Blue Diamond almonds and let me die hup-py.
Give ma all your cool jazz and let me die heppy.
Give me all your mochi cut into one inch cubes and cooked in a countertop convection oven until puffed to twice the size and watch me die of a burst stomach.
posted by jamjam at 11:11 AM on May 4, 2019 [4 favorites]
Give me all your whole wheat bread with extra wheat germ and let me die hippy.
Give me all your Blue Diamond almonds and let me die hup-py.
Give ma all your cool jazz and let me die heppy.
Give me all your mochi cut into one inch cubes and cooked in a countertop convection oven until puffed to twice the size and watch me die of a burst stomach.
posted by jamjam at 11:11 AM on May 4, 2019 [4 favorites]
Crispy gone soggy is fine I guess? I’m more of a chewy person; I was just trying to describe how some of my favorite foods are twizzlers, rice cakes like in ddukbokki, and tendons in my pho, they all satisfy me in the same texture way.
posted by jeweled accumulation at 11:14 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by jeweled accumulation at 11:14 AM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
Crispy-going-soggy is the finest texture of food there is.
Anyone who disagrees - I will kill you, your family, your dog, and your goldfish.
posted by happyinmotion at 12:23 PM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
Anyone who disagrees - I will kill you, your family, your dog, and your goldfish.
posted by happyinmotion at 12:23 PM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
A temperature analog is a hot fudge sundae: warm fudge, so rich that *ice cream* is bracing in comparison; cooling and thickening where it's been in contact with the ice cream, but still flowing and hot on top. Ice cream that's frozen beneath, but starting to melt at the top. A bit of each of these on one spoonful? Amazing.
posted by pykrete jungle at 1:04 PM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by pykrete jungle at 1:04 PM on May 4, 2019 [5 favorites]
Huh. TIL I really don't have strong opinions about the textures of food. I don't have a favorite food texture, even a little bit. Nor can I claim to have a least favorite food texture - maybe "slimy"? But I like even some things (escargot?) one might characterize as "slimy."
I have strong feelings on particular foods, but texture just can't be taken independent of flavor for me. I can't make any generalization about what I think are the best or worst textures; that just isn't an attribute I can separate out from the rest of the culinary experience of eating something.
posted by potrzebie at 1:09 PM on May 4, 2019
I have strong feelings on particular foods, but texture just can't be taken independent of flavor for me. I can't make any generalization about what I think are the best or worst textures; that just isn't an attribute I can separate out from the rest of the culinary experience of eating something.
posted by potrzebie at 1:09 PM on May 4, 2019
But then I quickly realize that, in fact, I have EXTREMELY STRONG VIEWS on it.
EXTREMELY same, this thread is a horror show
posted by poffin boffin at 3:15 PM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
EXTREMELY same, this thread is a horror show
posted by poffin boffin at 3:15 PM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
Sorry what were we talking about? I was counting the dunk time on my rich tea.
posted by lucidium at 3:29 PM on May 4, 2019
posted by lucidium at 3:29 PM on May 4, 2019
Slightly related: I've wondered for a while what happened to the word "crisp" (as opposed to "crispy"). Looks like it lost out around 2013, give or take a couple years.
posted by splitpeasoup at 3:39 PM on May 4, 2019
posted by splitpeasoup at 3:39 PM on May 4, 2019
You guys. You put the milk in a cup, not a bowl. Then you add some cereal. Eat it before it goes soggy. Add more cereal. Repeat. The cup has a smaller surface area than the bowl, so you add less cereal at a time and it has less of a chance of going soggy before you eat it. Also, the cup has a handle!
posted by Weeping_angel at 4:32 PM on May 4, 2019
posted by Weeping_angel at 4:32 PM on May 4, 2019
i mean you can eat a handful of cereal and then take a drink of milk from a glass and unless you sit there holding it all creepily in your mouth like a dog hiding tater tots it's not going to get soggy as you monch
posted by poffin boffin at 5:16 PM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 5:16 PM on May 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by zamboni at 5:37 PM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]Randy has worked out a set of mental blueprints for a special cereal-eating spoon that will have a tube running down the handle and a little pump for the milk, so that you can spoon dry cereal up out of a bowl, hit a button with your thumb, and squirt milk into the bowl of the spoon even as you are introducing it into your mouth.
>How to eat cereal:
Trying to maintain a dry kibble experience in your cereal while also trying to involve milk is objectively wrong, for the clear fact that until the cereal flavour diffuses into the milk, most of the flavour is beyond reach and you're only able to taste the tip of the iceberg. The flavour can't escape until the cereal is properly wetted. Is texture really more important than flavour?
I plant my banner with Camp Flavour! :)
posted by anonymisc at 5:58 PM on May 4, 2019
Trying to maintain a dry kibble experience in your cereal while also trying to involve milk is objectively wrong, for the clear fact that until the cereal flavour diffuses into the milk, most of the flavour is beyond reach and you're only able to taste the tip of the iceberg. The flavour can't escape until the cereal is properly wetted. Is texture really more important than flavour?
I plant my banner with Camp Flavour! :)
posted by anonymisc at 5:58 PM on May 4, 2019
The writer is wrong. Mildly entertainingly wrong, but clearly, demonstrably, and hopelessly wrong. I shall join my comrades on the field of battle, and we will prevail because our crunchy weapons will easily best their limp soggy crap.
posted by theora55 at 6:07 PM on May 4, 2019
posted by theora55 at 6:07 PM on May 4, 2019
Amazon link please, zamboni
posted by GeckoDundee at 7:48 PM on May 4, 2019
posted by GeckoDundee at 7:48 PM on May 4, 2019
You see, as you add cereal to the mug, the milk gets progressively more cereal flavored. Sure, the first round isn’t the most flavorful, but the rest of them are great. And you can drink the milk at the end without feeling like a 4 year old.
posted by Weeping_angel at 8:53 PM on May 4, 2019
posted by Weeping_angel at 8:53 PM on May 4, 2019
Crispy-going-soggy puts into words the preference I didn't know I had for dipping fortune cookies in tea, dunking croutons in salad dressing, pushing ice cream down with my lips to fill the hollow of a sugar cone. Sure, fight me, I guess.
posted by cdefgfeadgagfe at 10:02 PM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by cdefgfeadgagfe at 10:02 PM on May 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: it's a silly feel inside with a very thin layer of crispness or browning on the outside, but sometimes we put a sauce on it.
posted by otherchaz at 11:39 PM on May 4, 2019
posted by otherchaz at 11:39 PM on May 4, 2019
halation: My initial reaction was a shudder -- I eat my cereal dry. I eat my salad dry. I butter my toasted bagels, but I prefer to let them go cold first, to avoid any melting of said butter. (Cold butter on a cold, hard, slightly-burnt bagel: this is my joy.) Hell, I only *dip* waffles in syrup, and waffles are as far as I go -- even syrupless pancakes are too squishy for me.I bow to your hardcore no-sog values
I would argue that the highest food form may in fact be SGC -- soggy gone crispy! Mashed potatoes fried into crispy cakes. Macaroni and cheese reheated until it goes chewy and wonderful. It tastes like the overcoming of entropy, the victory of life over the forces of death.intriguing
keep going, I am listening
...I like my bacon floppy.WHOA THERE NOPE NOPE NOPE
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:27 AM on May 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
I've read somewhere (or possibly heard on a Milk Street podcast) that generally, Americans only really have two food textures: silky smooth and crunchy crispy. So food texture is always analysed along those axes, and thus soggy is horrible because it is not-crispy. But soggy has always been an acceptable texture in cuisine, even in Western cuisine; it's basically the sop, like in french onion soup.
overthinking a soggy plate of beans, yes
posted by destrius at 6:04 AM on May 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
overthinking a soggy plate of beans, yes
posted by destrius at 6:04 AM on May 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Noodly is clearly the best texture.
I ain't gonna disputandum your gustibus. Your incorrect opinion means more ramen for me. Let a thousand flowers bloom, knuckleheads.
posted by springo at 7:37 AM on May 5, 2019
I ain't gonna disputandum your gustibus. Your incorrect opinion means more ramen for me. Let a thousand flowers bloom, knuckleheads.
posted by springo at 7:37 AM on May 5, 2019
This syrup-on-waffles until they're soggy thing is wrong.
The correct approach is to put so much butter (n.b. a lot of butter, seriously) on the waffles while they're piping hot that the butter melts into them so thoroughly they become a butter-filled waffle-matrix that simply cannot get soggy no matter how much syrup you pour on them (which is a lot, a great deal of syrup, cooking dark grade of course, so much really you could not get flood insurance on your high-sided plate).
This is food science in its highest form. How to take a food that is otherwise succeptible to sogginess and ascend it onto a higher plane of existence that allows it to support a depth and intensity of rich, sweet, crisp breakfasty orgasm heretofore unattainable.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:48 AM on May 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
The correct approach is to put so much butter (n.b. a lot of butter, seriously) on the waffles while they're piping hot that the butter melts into them so thoroughly they become a butter-filled waffle-matrix that simply cannot get soggy no matter how much syrup you pour on them (which is a lot, a great deal of syrup, cooking dark grade of course, so much really you could not get flood insurance on your high-sided plate).
This is food science in its highest form. How to take a food that is otherwise succeptible to sogginess and ascend it onto a higher plane of existence that allows it to support a depth and intensity of rich, sweet, crisp breakfasty orgasm heretofore unattainable.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:48 AM on May 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
I've read somewhere (or possibly heard on a Milk Street podcast) that generally, Americans only really have two food textures
I've not heard of Milk Street, but like most such sentiments, that statement implies more about the person making the proclamation than about any actual "American" food preference. I would guess most of the people commenting on this very thread are American. "Breakfast Cereal" is . . . pretty American. Oatmeal, one of the most common breakfast foods, is inherently soggy.
posted by aspersioncast at 8:25 AM on May 5, 2019
I've not heard of Milk Street, but like most such sentiments, that statement implies more about the person making the proclamation than about any actual "American" food preference. I would guess most of the people commenting on this very thread are American. "Breakfast Cereal" is . . . pretty American. Oatmeal, one of the most common breakfast foods, is inherently soggy.
posted by aspersioncast at 8:25 AM on May 5, 2019
Yeah, Milk Street is where Christopher Kimball went to create a new America's Test Kitchen after being forced out of ATK. It was such a clone that ATK sued, claiming he basically used their resources (along with his wife and former ATK producer, who he cheated on his prior wife with) to create it. He also chose that name despite there already being a business literally on that same street with that name.
He did aome good things with ATK but his ideas about "ethnic" food are laughable (e.g
he thinks black pepper is spicy), and since his departure they've had much better representation.
posted by tocts at 9:21 AM on May 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
He did aome good things with ATK but his ideas about "ethnic" food are laughable (e.g
he thinks black pepper is spicy), and since his departure they've had much better representation.
posted by tocts at 9:21 AM on May 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
(Cold butter on a cold, hard, slightly-burnt bagel: this is my joy.)
This is where I realized I'm into CGS. I have considered buying a toaster oven for the express purpose of getting the too-much-butter to melt into my bagel forming some kind of savory bread pudding. The best I can do now is put the bagel with the sadly unmelted butter on it on top of the toaster slots and push down the level and let the heat swoosh around the sides of the bagel to approximate the effect.
posted by Smearcase at 9:52 AM on May 5, 2019
This is where I realized I'm into CGS. I have considered buying a toaster oven for the express purpose of getting the too-much-butter to melt into my bagel forming some kind of savory bread pudding. The best I can do now is put the bagel with the sadly unmelted butter on it on top of the toaster slots and push down the level and let the heat swoosh around the sides of the bagel to approximate the effect.
posted by Smearcase at 9:52 AM on May 5, 2019
So what's the opinion on the Froot Loops and milk scene in Get Out?
posted by acidnova at 11:04 AM on May 5, 2019
posted by acidnova at 11:04 AM on May 5, 2019
I butter my toasted bagels, but I prefer to let them go cold first, to avoid any melting of said butter.
I ALSO DO THIS. I will happily eat toast, but it needs to cool AT LEAST ten minutes before I butter it. The butter stays solid and acts as a barrier to protect against jam soaking into the bread. I don’t eat cereal with milk and if I have a fresh, crusty baguette I eat the outside and discard the doughy center. I don’t eat French toast or pancakes and I was in my thirties before I came around to the idea of bread pudding — but only the very crispiest, crustiest parts.
I love stale, cakey Oreo-style cookies, though.
posted by kate blank at 11:24 AM on May 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
I ALSO DO THIS. I will happily eat toast, but it needs to cool AT LEAST ten minutes before I butter it. The butter stays solid and acts as a barrier to protect against jam soaking into the bread. I don’t eat cereal with milk and if I have a fresh, crusty baguette I eat the outside and discard the doughy center. I don’t eat French toast or pancakes and I was in my thirties before I came around to the idea of bread pudding — but only the very crispiest, crustiest parts.
I love stale, cakey Oreo-style cookies, though.
posted by kate blank at 11:24 AM on May 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Did anyone else ever eat graham crackers in milk? My childhood friend Marc loved it; I thought it was the most disgusting soggy mess.
posted by mbrubeck at 12:22 PM on May 5, 2019
posted by mbrubeck at 12:22 PM on May 5, 2019
first of all the correct accompaniment to graham crackers is APPLE JUICE as all right-thinking kindergarteners know
posted by poffin boffin at 12:34 PM on May 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 12:34 PM on May 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
So what's the opinion on the Froot Loops and milk scene in Get Out?
i felt personally attacked by it, tbh
(although i skip the milk, i literally *do* eat Froot Loops like that, although i sort them by colour first)
((i promise i'm not evil, i just have some issues with food textures))
posted by halation at 3:05 PM on May 5, 2019
i felt personally attacked by it, tbh
(although i skip the milk, i literally *do* eat Froot Loops like that, although i sort them by colour first)
((i promise i'm not evil, i just have some issues with food textures))
posted by halation at 3:05 PM on May 5, 2019
i am so happy to find Cold Butter Toast Friends in this thread, though! HELLO FRIENDS
posted by halation at 3:06 PM on May 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by halation at 3:06 PM on May 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
Insisting a subjective opinion about food is an objective fact is the most tired form of clickbait there is. Fight me.
As we say in my household: "my mouth is not your mouth".
posted by nnethercote at 9:07 PM on May 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
As we say in my household: "my mouth is not your mouth".
posted by nnethercote at 9:07 PM on May 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
If it has gone soggy, it is now bad. If it is CITPOGS, it is gold. There's a reason that tempura is often served on the side of your soba (or plunked in at the last second). There's a reason the sauce should be served on the side of the katsu. Crispy under sauce is heaven. Old soggy, once-crisp, is just proof that you didn't eat it in time for it so still be peak delicious.
But, hey, somebody out there probably likes melted ice cream over frozen; maybe they are in to stale cookies and flat soda too.
posted by RobertFrost at 10:00 AM on May 6, 2019
But, hey, somebody out there probably likes melted ice cream over frozen; maybe they are in to stale cookies and flat soda too.
posted by RobertFrost at 10:00 AM on May 6, 2019
> i mean you can eat a handful of cereal and then take a drink of milk from a glass and unless you sit there holding it all creepily in your mouth like a dog hiding tater tots it's not going to get soggy as you monch
This is honestly pretty good with biscuits / cookies.
> flat soda too
Splash of milk in your coca cola!
posted by lucidium at 10:17 AM on May 6, 2019
This is honestly pretty good with biscuits / cookies.
> flat soda too
Splash of milk in your coca cola!
posted by lucidium at 10:17 AM on May 6, 2019
flat soda too
this is a whole separate deal but yes i 100% know people who prefer flat soda. i know an actual person (and this is true) who will take their 20oz caffeine-free diet cola and open it and leave it to sit in the cupholder of their parked car, in the sun, for the whole day. because that is how they like their soda. flat and warm after sitting in a mini-greenhouse for 8+ hours.
we live in a world of many rare wonders
posted by halation at 10:33 AM on May 6, 2019
this is a whole separate deal but yes i 100% know people who prefer flat soda. i know an actual person (and this is true) who will take their 20oz caffeine-free diet cola and open it and leave it to sit in the cupholder of their parked car, in the sun, for the whole day. because that is how they like their soda. flat and warm after sitting in a mini-greenhouse for 8+ hours.
we live in a world of many rare wonders
posted by halation at 10:33 AM on May 6, 2019
this is a whole separate deal but yes i 100% know people who prefer flat soda.
Well yeah, because Pepsi with its godforsaken undercarbonation continues to exist.
posted by duffell at 10:52 AM on May 6, 2019
Well yeah, because Pepsi with its godforsaken undercarbonation continues to exist.
posted by duffell at 10:52 AM on May 6, 2019
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posted by kinnakeet at 3:43 AM on May 4, 2019