I Want To Go To There
May 9, 2019 8:55 PM   Subscribe

 
I can't decide which is the less-flattering look: nude with crew socks, or nude with a flotation vest. ...Okay, who am I kidding; they're both appalling.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:13 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


But even leaving that completely aside (as if one could), the whole aggressively-bland middle class setting combined with the shitty 80's B-roll "smooth jazz" soundtrack is giving me stress disorder twinges I didn't even realize I still had.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:23 PM on May 9 [2 favorites]


Technically, whether it's crew socks or a flotation vest... they aren't nude.
posted by hippybear at 9:26 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


Ugh, can't watch it in incognito mode but also don't want YT's psychotic recommendation algorithm to start shoving a bunch of nudists in socks into my feed.
posted by axiom at 9:28 PM on May 9 [21 favorites]


You can click the inline video watch button in the post itself and watch there.
posted by hippybear at 9:30 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


A nudist resort in central Florida? Sure the climate's right but they must have been showering in DEET twice a day.

Also don't think I don't see that "boingboing" tag, well done.
posted by traveler_ at 9:31 PM on May 9 [7 favorites]


Allowing squirrels near your naked body seems like a terrible idea
posted by not_the_water at 9:32 PM on May 9 [21 favorites]


I was ok till the bicycles showed up. Don't put yer naked ass on a bicycle seat.

In general nudity seems like one of those things that sounds fun and edgy till you do it and realize, there's a reason people invented clothes.
posted by emjaybee at 9:37 PM on May 9 [25 favorites]


Those kids are probably all grown up now. I wonder what the therapy bills are like when your (grand)parents bring you to a nudist resort.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:38 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


I don't understand when/how this would have been seen by anyone, given broadcast restrictions.
posted by aramaic at 9:38 PM on May 9


Still a place. Don’t miss 80s weekend!
posted by m@f at 9:39 PM on May 9 [4 favorites]


My feelings while watching:

* Oho, this'll be either a cheeky giggle or some 80's cringe, either way let's roll it.
* Naked waterski? Hmm, not sure about that.
* Huh, this is actually really nice. Everyone's having a great time.
* Videos like this are important for seeing normal bodies and feeling less anxious about one's own.
* (shot of someone's back, wearing a t-shirt that indicates them as the tennis instructor, writing scores on a board, slow zoom back to reveal their naked bottom) AAAAHAHAHAHA okay okay I thought this wouldn't be a giggling video but that's the funniest thing I've seen ALL DAY
* "Hey, I can be a tennis instructor AND a nudist!"
* ...bikes? That seems uncomfortable.
* But the people riding them in this video don't look uncomfortable, and I've never tried it, so how the hell would I know?
* I kinda want to go.
posted by FeatherWatt at 9:47 PM on May 9 [21 favorites]


Putting the video asside, I'm surprised by the negativity in this thread.

Being around people, in a non-sexual setting, of all shapes and sizes who happen to not be wearing any clothes is a great way to become more accepting of those various shapes and sizes and can be pretty good for your own body image. Head to a clothing optional festival like Confest (Aus) or Burning Man or whatever and try it, even if you leave your own clothes on. It's pretty nice.
posted by deadwax at 9:56 PM on May 9 [23 favorites]


Don’t miss 80s weekend!

Oh I won't, not even a little bit.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:57 PM on May 9 [9 favorites]


Being around people, in a non-sexual setting, of all shapes and sizes who happen to not be wearing any clothes is a great way to become more accepting of those various shapes and sizes and can be pretty good for your own body image.

This is true, but it requires you to get over the initial hump of disturbance at seeing a bunch of non-movie-star people in public, and that isn’t trivial at all.

Myself, I’m surprised at how uncomfortable I was seeing people shower together. No one’s supposed to see you in the shower!
posted by Going To Maine at 10:06 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


Parts of the video kind of seemed like the cameraman was just like, skulking around with the camera zooming in on people from afar. I'd like to hope everybody knew they were on camera but it didn't seem like it??
posted by bleep at 10:09 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


Putting the video asside

Hmm, I see what I did there.
posted by deadwax at 10:10 PM on May 9 [12 favorites]


I can't watch nudists playing tennis without thinking of Ellen Forney's comment: "Playing tennis in just sneakers is terrific! Except that there's no place to wipe your hands, just the ball, and so the ball winds up getting all soggy."
posted by zompist at 10:13 PM on May 9 [4 favorites]


I believe Enid Blyton was quite fond of tennis in the altogether. Explains all the Fannies and Dicks.
posted by deadwax at 10:16 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


These days I can't watch a video of an older white guy in a red baseball cap without throwing up a little in my mouth.

Being around people, in a non-sexual setting, of all shapes and sizes who happen to not be wearing any clothes is a great way to become more accepting of those various shapes and sizes and can be pretty good for your own body image.

Other than that, I agree completely with this statement and see this video as 80s-cheesy but also as a bunch of (white) people having fun in the sun.
posted by bendy at 10:32 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


I was ok till the bicycles showed up.

uh... burn that seat
posted by theory at 10:34 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


Do penii get sunburn?
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:38 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


"Do penii get sunburn?"

We both know the answer to that question.
posted by billjings at 10:52 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


I have spent some time in Australian nudist clubs, and let me tell you, sunscreen is an important public utility. Also, tennis when the players are only wearing running shoes is quite entertaining.
posted by misfish at 10:52 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


I am judging the French Canadians. Cargo shorts are iffy in any setting, but here?
posted by skyscraper at 11:21 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


You can click the inline video watch button in the post itself and watch there.

YouTube still sees my regular logged in cookies in that case, so it still results in algorithm hell. PSA.
posted by axiom at 11:50 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


Was no one over weight in the 80's?
I cant remember.
posted by quazichimp at 12:28 AM on May 10 [1 favorite]


People are concerned about this screwing up YouTube's algorithm for them, but you're just going to get recommendations for other videos of happy nudists. Who wouldn't want that?
posted by Going To Maine at 12:32 AM on May 10 [2 favorites]


"Free and relaxing activities you wouldn't normally want to have anywhere near your naked junk, like fishing! Sitting on trees! High speed boat wakes and spray from water skiing! Going swimming in a wetland and swamp! Getting skin cancer! Playing with balls!"
posted by loquacious at 1:48 AM on May 10 [3 favorites]


Was no one over weight in the 80's?

Not no-one but definitely fewer.
posted by freya_lamb at 1:49 AM on May 10 [5 favorites]


Do penii get sunburn?

It usually goes over their heads.
posted by pracowity at 2:37 AM on May 10 [1 favorite]


Those kids are probably all grown up now. I wonder what the therapy bills are like when your (grand)parents bring you to a nudist resort.

It's funny to joke about, but as a person who was taken to nude/clothing-optional places all the time as a kid, it just isn't a big deal (or traumatic) at all. You are a kid, you are adaptable, it's just being outside naked which kids tend to like.

The video seemed like they focused a lot on the younger/more beautiful club members, but not exclusively and they showed a wide variety of ages, as well as an impressive array of 80's mustaches.
posted by Dip Flash at 3:30 AM on May 10 [15 favorites]


deadwax: "Putting the video asside, I'm surprised by the negativity in this thread.

Being around people, in a non-sexual setting, of all shapes and sizes who happen to not be wearing any clothes is a great way to become more accepting of those various shapes and sizes and can be pretty good for your own body image. Head to a clothing optional festival like Confest (Aus) or Burning Man or whatever and try it, even if you leave your own clothes on. It's pretty nice.
"

I'm fine with my body image but still wouldn't want to be naked around a bunch of strangers.
posted by octothorpe at 3:35 AM on May 10 [3 favorites]


Although now that I think about it, I wouldn't want to be naked around a bunch of non-strangers either.
posted by octothorpe at 3:38 AM on May 10 [1 favorite]


Fantasy Fest has taught me all I ever need to know about the effects of gravity on the human body.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 3:44 AM on May 10


There's a joke about sunburn and penii, goes something like sunburn and doctor says to soak it in milk to ease the pain and wife walks in and "I always wondered how they refill that thing".
posted by zengargoyle at 3:50 AM on May 10 [7 favorites]


I kept looking in the background for the sitcom characters who were invited by their new neighbors without being told it was a nudist camp. But I didn't see anyone hiding their junk in increasingly improbable ways.
posted by condour75 at 4:05 AM on May 10 [12 favorites]


Haha. Pretty sure that's my step brother hitting the volleyball at 2:46.
posted by dobbs at 4:44 AM on May 10 [2 favorites]


Any guy or any girl who goes water skiing naked is nuts. At least wear a jock/sports bra. Hitting the water at speed can't be good for your balls/breasts.
posted by james33 at 4:48 AM on May 10


I don't understand when/how this would have been seen by anyone, given broadcast restrictions.

It was most likely sent out as a short "video cassette tape" in the "VHS" format.

Turns out, about 4 minutes is all I can watch an -- admittedly cute and retro -- timeshare sales video for a nudist resort.
posted by mikelieman at 4:58 AM on May 10 [2 favorites]


Only cringed when they showed the guy fishing.
posted by terrapin at 4:58 AM on May 10


This comment thread is rich in ew culture, everything-is-traumatic hand-wringery, and the kind of oppressive mysophobia that's breeding a generation of walking histamine storms. That's a shame.

We've sexualized the body from shoulders to knee, so seeing that outside the clinical setting of the bedroom is traumatic, and we've made any degree of openness beyond blathering on Facebook about every single emotional event of our lives traumatic, and we collectively think of naked buttocks as fly-encrusted mudpies of smeared shit, so that the slightest contact of butt to surface requires sanitation by fire lest the whole species disappear in a paroxysm of diseases (thanks for that one, straight people everywhere).

So we spend 93% of our lives safely sealed up in poorly ventilated buildings, constantly wrapped up like raw meat, afraid of the touch of other people, and forever caught up in the fear that people might see us. Yikes.
posted by sonascope at 5:03 AM on May 10 [31 favorites]


That seems a bit of an extreme reaction to people not wanting to bike nude, sonascope.
posted by schroedinger at 5:10 AM on May 10 [10 favorites]


But I'm not traumatized? I mean, I actually agree that it's good to see the variety of human shapes nude and so on. The history of nudist/naturist camps is kind of interesting and ties into the strains of utopian thought in Western culture.

It's more that the human body is fairly fragile and we did in fact invent clothes to protect it from cold, sharp rocks, poky twigs and chafing. So nudity outdoors is more of a ritual act than anything "natural."
posted by emjaybee at 5:12 AM on May 10 [8 favorites]


Perhaps, but seeing the world through an eww filter is something worthy of a challenge, I think.

Honestly, the everything-a-butt-touches-becomes-dirty theme is a trope beloved of homophobes, so its casual use as humor in 2019 still connects to something a lot of us had to defend against.
posted by sonascope at 5:19 AM on May 10 [7 favorites]


Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Get out of your comfort zone once in awhile.

I've spent many years at a figure drawing camp at Burning Man ... nude most of the time, along with my friends. Riding a bike nude is kind of liberating, actually, as long as you keep a small towel or cloth seat cover underneath.

Back home, I have a nice private back yard where I go nude all summer, mostly doing yard work, but sometimes just working on my all-over tan.

I also go to a local nudist resort a few times a year. They have 400 mostly wooded acres where I spend a lot of time hiking nude and swimming in the reservoir.

I've also been to Cypress Cove. It's a nice place with lots of nice people.

It's liberating. It's relaxing. Try it.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:19 AM on May 10 [9 favorites]


One of things I love about the Netherlands is the low bar to nudity here. Most all beaches have a nude area. The country is full of communal spas/saunas full of people of all ages. There's indoor and outdoor swimming pools, saunas, gardens to walk through. The biggest one I have been to is probably Elysium although our actual favorites coincide with those recommended by this blogger (Beemster has this great little island where you can just sunbathe in hammocks all afternoon) They are even in city centers such as the great Sauna Deco in Amsterdam.

In Europe, the countries most relaxed about nudity are Germany (also home of great spas) and the Netherlands. Nordic countries as well. The French and Spanish are more ok about toplessness than full nudity. Italy is a bit conservative but then you cross the Adriatic and Croatians are again more relaxed.

The United States is pretty uptight but nowhere as near as the British who are absolutely terrified of nudity.
posted by vacapinta at 5:32 AM on May 10 [14 favorites]


Agreeing with the sentiment that a lot of y'all need to loosen up. Sure, I wouldn't bike around or water ski nude but just seeing a naked unattractive body is not nearly as traumatic as some of you seem to think it is, nor is being naked outdoors as fraught as it seems.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:53 AM on May 10 [5 favorites]


Wow, MeFi is surprisingly reactionary, bourgeoise and fuddy-duddy about public nudity.

Back when I lived in the Bay Area, at the turn of the century, it was fairly common to see naked people walking around SF , or sitting, or biking, or drinking coffee while they read their newspaper in a sidewalk café. Let's not even get started on Pride, Halloween, Marathons, etc.
posted by signal at 5:53 AM on May 10 [10 favorites]


The United States is pretty uptight but nowhere as near as the British who are absolutely terrified of nudity.

How is this possible? I thought old British TV shows had boobs on all the time and we basically ran Janet Jackson out of the country because Justin Timberlake exposed part of her nip.
posted by knownassociate at 5:55 AM on May 10 [2 favorites]


(There's a big difference between sexualized attractive woman nudity and non-sexual unattractive incidental nudity)
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:58 AM on May 10 [3 favorites]


This place still exists. It's in Kissimmee, near Disney World.

Central Florida has always been nudist resort central. When I was at USF, about the time this video was made, nearby ones would hand out free passes to students.
posted by lordrunningclam at 6:08 AM on May 10 [1 favorite]


I had zero problems with nudity or music or any of that...what made me twitch was the 80s pacing of the actually video...dear lord get on with it
posted by ShawnString at 6:12 AM on May 10 [5 favorites]


Yeah, hurry up and relax, you naked slowpokes!
posted by FeatherWatt at 6:13 AM on May 10 [5 favorites]


I think the silly shoes and undignified games are part of a general attempt to stop playing dress-up games and act as if it were a natural state of affairs to have a body. This makes sense to me. Dressing up is fun. It is delightful to pretend to be a machine, a courtesan, a sexbot, a seething mass of corruption, a tender flower that must be protected from the harsh world, a disguised monster, an armored soldier, a work of art, a superhero, an occasion of sin, the Skagganauk Abyss, an eldritch horror, or any of the other things our clothes assert about us. None of that is actually true, though. We are African ground apes with durable hides, and no dirtier, cleaner, uglier, or more beautiful than any other animals. I can see the value of going backstage and taking the costumes off for a while, like real actors and dancers do.

Neil Gaiman has a poem about this:

I am continually disappointed by nudity
decently covered breasts could look like
anything when revealed,
the nipples might be eyes or snake heads
or flowers glowing gold,
they might be anything, but never are.
And as for the rest of it, the whole
between-the-legs business,
when I was a boy, and simply wondered
about women, why back then
it was the mystery of mysteries,
and now, grown up
I still think, I wonder what she keeps hidden,down
there, beneath that cloth
imagining miracles and mysteries and
dreams
conjuring secret mouths and lips that
smile and sing
craving petals, tentacles and stars,
desiring the unimaginable.
The reality of nakedness
makes me mutter Jesus Christ with delight
and awe as well, of course,
but still, the revelation is in its way
prosaic. Just another gentle biped
with bumps and flesh and cleft and hair always
looking just
a little bit more awkward and less
interesting
than when she wore clothes.

-- Neil Gaiman


He leaves out the part where one is ashamed not to be able oneself to unveil a thousand tiny legs all in continual motion, vast iridescent unfolding wings, or, at very least, hydra-like genitalia.
posted by ckridge at 6:31 AM on May 10 [9 favorites]


I’ve spent a whole lot of time alone in a remote camp in the forest, with ample opportunities to strip down and air the flesh, “as nature intended.” Unless at a resort designed and maintained with this in mind, nudity isn’t much fun.

Just sitting naked is unpleasant unless it’s on a clean surface that’s free of debris. Nasty things adhere to soft, sweaty and exposed skin, made worse if folds are involved (such as at joints and in the inguinal area).

Hiking is unpleasant without something to wick sweat away and fend off bugs, and many body parts simply aren’t meant to be exposed to trauma. A cut or scrape on a breast hurts, trust me. And of course there’s sun damage to consider. Work on your tan, indeed.

I’m all for folks doing what works for them, and have no ew problems with bodies, theirs or my own. That said, all I could think of while watching the video was the practical side of nudity—it’s depicted as being all about freedom, but that freedom requires control over the environment itself, including being sequestered away from the clothed. It’s actually less work and more freeing to keep a few basic duds on.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:32 AM on May 10 [7 favorites]


I have camped naked and and didn't find it inconvenient, except that sitting on one's butt requires clearing ground and working on something in one's lap is right out. I habitually work out naked, and find it more pleasant than wearing clothes. The inconvenience of needing a sweat rag is more than made up for by not having to wear sweaty clothes. You can actually get the sweat off you.

No one has mentioned the feel of moving air or water over one's entire body. Odd. It is not an epiphany, but it is worth mentioning.
posted by ckridge at 6:44 AM on May 10 [2 favorites]


My recently turned 30 younger sister and her girlfriend found a queer nude beach in Miami a couple years ago and they have since driven from western NC to go back like 4 times. There's a nude beach not too far from Philly that the LGBT community occasionally goes and takes over too. I haven't been yet, but it sounds like a good time.

Thanks to the show High Maintenance, I have started occasionally choosing to be nude in my house. It's actually...pretty great? Like, part of the exhaustion of adulthood for me, being 35 and about 20 lbs overweight, is constantly sucking in my paunch. It's not intentional, it's just like some habit that I developed ages ago and can't seem to shake. Being nude in the house is helping me untrain that habit a bit and be a little more not-disgusted by my body. All net positives, in my book.
posted by lazaruslong at 6:44 AM on May 10 [6 favorites]


Any guy or any girl who goes water skiing naked is nuts.... Hitting the water at speed can't be good for your balls/breasts.

OTOH if you wipe out just right, you get a high colonic irrigation for free!

It is funny how prudish Metafilter is about this. At least no one's linked David Sedaris yet.

But I hope many folks here might enjoy some social nudity in the right context. Some of the negativity here may be explained to the over-earnestness of this kind of video, the happy body comfortable nudists playing volleyball. So wholesome! Of course the ads have to show that, because everyone's first assumption is something naughty is going on all the time. But the result is a bit much.

One off bit in this video for me, the shot of the kids early on. That's an electrified wire but I think it's important to show kids can be in a place like this too. And they're careful not to expose any bits, it's all tasteful. But then the shot is taken with a long telephoto and they zoom the camera out to demonstrate how far away the photographer is. Maybe I'm overthinking things, but that made it creepy when it didn't have to be.
posted by Nelson at 7:01 AM on May 10


Sign me up, Mr Zoomlens!
posted by Sterros at 7:14 AM on May 10


So like, I'm not against nudists/naturists in general. Being a person who pays for my boundary crossing transgressions daily (just because of who I am) I get how nudists (in general and in specific) are not being treated kindly in our reactions to this video.

All that said though. I'm half Chinese and I would never visit this resort. Why? All subjects in the video were lily white.
posted by kalessin at 7:15 AM on May 10 [2 favorites]


I have nudist friends who held a birthday party at their facility. What I noticed about the experience is that these places are truly "clothing optional". Wear as much or as little as you want. No one cares.

The only spot requiring nudity at their resort was the swimming pool, for some reason. The clubhouse where we had the party was fifty-fifty all clothed people. Most of the attendees, including the birthday boy, were in their late 40s/early 50s. That's a time in life when you sag-and-bag. Not the wholesome looking youngsters shown here. I don't know what the current age range is for an average USA nudist resort.

The strangest thing, to me, was seeing nudity out of the corner of my eye. It would draw my attention, where talking to a nude person was no big deal.

I've talked with a number of musicians who perform at such resorts. They love such gigs. The people are nice, the audience doesn't get out-of-control drunk, and most importantly, the facilities pay promptly and honestly for services.
posted by blob at 7:19 AM on May 10 [4 favorites]


It is funny how prudish Metafilter is about this

At this point I think the majority of the comments might be pro-nudism.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:25 AM on May 10 [5 favorites]


Perceptions vary.
[This place still exists. It's in Kissimmee, near Disney World] Anyhow, on a car trip one summer we stopped at an eating joint in Kissimmee. Our conversation turned toward how to pronounce the name of that town.

I asked an employee, "How do you say the name of this place? I think it's KISS-immee, my friend here says kiss-iMEE. How's it really pronounced?"

She gave me the "duh" look, and said, "McDonalds."
posted by mule98J at 7:32 AM on May 10 [2 favorites]


I can't decide which is the less-flattering look: nude with crew socks, or nude with a flotation vest.

nude with a flotation vest! Safety is always sexy.

Seriously: ALWAYS wear a flotation device when boating, even if you are a good swimmer. You never know when you'll be knocked unconscious.
posted by jb at 7:32 AM on May 10 [4 favorites]


It's more that the human body is fairly fragile and we did in fact invent clothes to protect it from cold, sharp rocks, poky twigs and chafing. So nudity outdoors is more of a ritual act than anything "natural."

This is more cuturally/environmentally specific. There are cultures and environments where people go unclothed or primarily unclothed; what things they wear are more about tools or adornment than about covering.

But I agree: central Florida would not be my first choice as a place to be nude, at least not without being drenched in DEET.
posted by jb at 7:42 AM on May 10 [1 favorite]


So is the bird featured at 4:00 nude or not nude, since she is covered in feathers? And it is not nude, then is Donald Duck fully clothed and also wearing a coat?

Also there is a scene at after 6:00 with a guy falling backwards into a pool, and then splashing his ladyfriend, and the lady friend definitely gives the camera a surprised 'stop filming me' look.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:59 AM on May 10


My parents were members of a nudist retreat in Florida in the late 70s / early 80s. We often went (me included) on the weekends when weather was nice. There was a pool, a clubhouse with a free pinball machine, some chairs to read books on. I have no idea what my parents did other than hang out with other adults, because I didn't care what they did. Maybe there was swinging. I have no idea. People were naked. They played volleyball sometimes. I didn't care about nakedness. Sometimes my pre-teen body got an erection for whatever reason; I wrapped a towel around it and sat down for a while.

People were naked in my house, too. It was frigging Florida and comfortable inside and out. Why wear clothes if you don't need them. Honestly. (Bug spray sometimes needed, also sun screen.)

Naked bicycle riding is dumb, unless you have a cloth seat. Rubber band a terrycloth towel around that vinyl/leather or there will be extremely awkward sticking/sliding.

Just... whatever.

(It's ki-SIM-ee, btw.)
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:00 AM on May 10 [3 favorites]


So we spend 93% of our lives safely sealed up in poorly ventilated buildings, constantly wrapped up like raw meat, afraid of the touch of other people, and forever caught up in the fear that people might see us. Yikes.

Man, I love you but speak for someone else. I camped outside last night because I like the breeze and stars. I've spent a whole lot of my life outdoors and actually-not-technically homeless. I spend a lot of time half-dressed and going about my business, and have the option to be as naked as I want to be. I also hike to hotsprings where it's silly to wear clothes in to the hot spring because you're just going to have to wear or pack out wet clothes.

I'm about as fearless and shameless as it gets.


But here's another thing. I'm trans. My body is changing. Even before I started working on things, I wasn't comfortable or accepting of my body for some super valid reasons. After? Well, things are getting better, but I'm starting to feel naturally really weird about going shirtless in public or even around the house. Not because of shame, but because of the stupid sexualization of breasts and because it makes me feel vulnerable.

This summer is going to be tough and I need a baggier hoody.

If I had to do all of this without clothes, it would suck. Further, I'm not using clothes as an emotional shield or weapon but as an expression of who I am. The act of dressing is art and architecture to me and helps deal with dysphoria and make it go away.

I'm not saying that's what's happening in this thread, but it's happened to me IRL: having a bunch of people cajoling or wheedling at me to tell me it's fine to be naked? Yeah, super not helpful. You may think my body is fine but for me? Seeing it naked is extremely distressing and can send me off into a spiral of depression, self doubt and loathing.

Seeing other people naked in casual nudist environments is extremely distressing because it's it's just one body dysphoria hit after another - I look like them and not them.

That's not due to a lack of body positivity. It's because I have the wrong fucking body. And going to a nudist colony would be extremely distressing in general for these reasons.

People have a lot of valid reasons to not want to be naked. Being afraid isn't always one of them.
posted by loquacious at 8:25 AM on May 10 [15 favorites]


Also: My direct experiences with nudists and naturalists have been... not wholesome.

People talk a lot about how it's not actually sexual, but that doesn't explain all the creepy older straight dudes being creepy and sexualizing the experience for themselves and everyone around them. I've seen this at hot springs, de facto nude beaches and colony/resort kind of places.

There is almost always a bunch of creepy older dudes at these clothing optional places sitting around leering at everyone and just letting their eyes roam and stare at who and whatever they want.

And at nude public beaches, there's almost always some creeper down the beach or up on the bluffs with a camera and a telephoto lens.

And hasn't there been kind of a thing about family oriented nudist colonies having issues with abuse or at least the sexualization or outright abuse of minors? I'm pretty sure we've had a thread about this before on MeFi.

This part of nudist/naturalist cultures is all too often hand-waved away in my experiences.
posted by loquacious at 8:34 AM on May 10 [11 favorites]


When I was at USF, about the time this video was made, nearby ones would hand out free passes to students.

Okay, so yeah, other people can do whatever they want, but look, I've met enough human beings to find it, yes, extremely questionable when people stop just wanting to take their own clothes off and start encouraging other people to take off theirs, especially young people. I also find it extremely questionable when people use derogatory language towards people who don't, in fact, want to do this. If it's supposed to just be about your personal body, then you shouldn't need to push anybody else into it. When you start marketing like this to young people specifically and making videos that primarily feature the physically attractive, I stop believing that this is just about promoting good body image.

I'm not prudish at all about anybody else doing this among consenting adults if they enjoy it. On the other hand, aggressively pushing this as completely innocent in the same world where MeToo was necessary seems to me to be incredibly naive. I could have the best body image in the world and look great and still not be willing to take my clothes off around any cishet man I don't know incredibly well, at this point. I'm sure there are some people involved with perfectly good intentions, but the assumption that everybody involved had/has good intentions is contrary to my experiences with humanity anytime between the 1980s and now.
posted by Sequence at 8:40 AM on May 10 [10 favorites]


a little bit more awkward and less
interesting
than when she wore clothes.


sometimes I forget why I can't stand Neil Gaiman, thanks for the reminder.

(no offense ckridge, I liked the rest of your comment)
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:04 AM on May 10 [3 favorites]


Personally, pro nudism all the way

But you do you guys. . .
posted by goinWhereTheClimateSuitsMyClothes at 9:04 AM on May 10 [2 favorites]


sometimes I forget why I can't stand Neil Gaiman, thanks for the reminder.

I like him, but find that line off-putting too. It partly that he is maybe not so nice as he seems, but also the effect of systematically playing hide-and-seek with someone with a highly developed imagination. Eventually, their imagination is going to come up with something more dramatic than whatever it is that you are hiding, cf. How to Talk to Girls at Parties.
posted by ckridge at 9:21 AM on May 10


Personally, pro nudism all the way

But you do you guys. . .
posted by goinWhereTheClimateSuitsMyClothes at 9:04 AM on May 10 [+] [!]


So very very eponysterical
posted by hanov3r at 9:27 AM on May 10 [1 favorite]


Was no one over weight in the 80's?

If you’ve ever carried some extra weight, you know that nudity isn’t really comfortable, at least not when you’re vertical. Especially if that weight is carried up top. One needs support.

Personally, call me a hysterical American if you wish, but my understanding is that a certain amount of clothing is natural, having become common some 50 to 200,000 years ago. This predates the development of white skin, which explains a lot about why it takes the sun so poorly,
posted by Countess Elena at 9:28 AM on May 10 [3 favorites]


Cargo shorts are iffy in any setting, but here?

This makes me want to start a cargo shorts club. No judgment, no embarrassment. Just the freedom to relax, play sports, and worship the sun with all six of your pockets, as nature intended.

Of course, people will probably call it a cargo cult.
posted by condour75 at 10:42 AM on May 10 [21 favorites]


loquacious: There is almost always a bunch of creepy older dudes at these clothing optional places sitting around leering at everyone and just letting their eyes roam and stare at who and whatever they want.

This is the issue I have in these scenarios as well; there’s almost always that one person who ruins it for everyone. Being naked is generally a nonissue for me, even despite being a) not totally happy with my body and b) heavily tattooed, which tends to draw more attention than average. I don’t give a second thought to locker rooms, showering in front of other people, lounging in a sauna, etc. But I quit going to the nude shifts offered at a nearby swimming pool because of the one creeper dude who would position himself on the path between the pool and the locker rooms and just stand there, in his bathrobe, staring at everyone who walked past. That pervy spectator gaze turned being naked from something relaxed and enjoyable into something exposed and uncomfortable.

And as far as the video is concerned, people are more than entitled to enjoy themselves in whatever manner they please, and no judgment of their preferences. (Though I don’t think I’d personally enjoy going full nudist; as mentioned upthread there are some things I wouldn’t find physically comfortable doing totally- or mostly-naked.) That being said, the sympathetic pains in my boobs whilst watching those women playing volleyball and tennis without some kind of support was ... significant. Maybe I’m just more (physically) sensitive, or something.
posted by myotahapea at 10:59 AM on May 10


That being said, the sympathetic pains in my boobs whilst watching those women playing volleyball and tennis without some kind of support was ... significant.

There was at least one tennis player who was wearing a sports bra only, but most everyone seemed to be doing it fully nude (well, other than shoes and crew socks), at least while the camera was there. The bouncing around looked potentially uncomfortable for the men as well.

There is almost always a bunch of creepy older dudes at these clothing optional places sitting around leering at everyone and just letting their eyes roam and stare at who and whatever they want.

I can remember a camera guy who was trying to hide in the trees being chased off by a bunch of hippies when I was a little kid, so yeah, this has been a Thing for a long time. I have been to plenty of clothing optional beaches where no one was being creepy at all; I have also been to plenty with creepers (especially beaches where fishermen/recreational boaters can "troll for fish" right along shore while staring through binoculars) and/or dudes cruising for sex, often looking for other dudes. I've never been to one, but my understanding of actual nudist resorts was that there is typically some policing of this because what they are selling is the opportunity to be naked comfortably, and creepers make paying customers uncomfortable.

Fantasy Fest has taught me all I ever need to know about the effects of gravity on the human body.

This is definitely something that a lot of the promotional photos for the nude-ish lifestyle try to hide. The photos are always of conventionally attractive younger people, but if you go in person to a nude beach you are going to see ordinary people, most of whom are older with super leathery skin. (The age mix is different at the kinds of hot springs where you have to hike in, for example -- but the creeper factor can be higher, too, in my experience.) These days it is very, very rare that I am anywhere clothing optional, but having the diversity of body shapes and ages so normalized is absolutely my favorite thing. We all get old and no one stays perfect forever, and it is great to see someone comfortably rocking their normal but societally-imperfect body.
posted by Dip Flash at 11:23 AM on May 10 [1 favorite]


This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Sun Cove of Kissimmee, Inc.
posted by stevil at 11:26 AM on May 10 [3 favorites]


I'd bet nudist resorts use huge amounts of insecticide, and I wouldn't want to expose myself to that.

Plus there are so many tripwires around child nudity in any form these days, that it kind of amazes me parents or other nudists are willing to risk it — for example, if you were a single male whose name was on a list of known nudists that happened to find its way into the hands of the government, how do you think the CPB would be likely to treat you and your devices when you tried to get back into the country if you were also known to be a dissident?
posted by jamjam at 11:38 AM on May 10


jamjam: The naturalists I've met have been very much on the side of chemicals evil, nature good. (To the point of annoying me, a chemist) They organize the local beach cleanups and fight to preserve natural spaces around Vancouver as well. I can't speak to them everywhere, but from the reading I've done, living in harmony with nature is very much a part of their philosophy.
posted by Canageek at 12:25 PM on May 10


All that said though. I'm half Chinese and I would never visit this resort. Why? All subjects in the video were lily white.
posted by kalessin at 7:15 AM on May 10 [1 favorite +] [!]


That might also be due to it being a really old video. When I've been to Wreck in Vancouver the older hippies are pretty much all white, but you do see younger Asian people enjoying the clothing optional aspects of the beach as well.
posted by Canageek at 12:29 PM on May 10 [1 favorite]


When I've been to Wreck in Vancouver the older hippies are pretty much all white, but you do see younger Asian people enjoying the clothing optional aspects of the beach as well.

Same goes for the clothing optional part of Hanlan's Point in TO - lots of equal opportunity nudity, IIRC.
posted by blerghamot at 1:03 PM on May 10


Why? All subjects in the video were lily white.

Go to M@f's post above - their current website has an updated video and there is a better mix of demographics.

But, still not for me - I can barely take of my shirt for swimming.
posted by jkaczor at 1:16 PM on May 10


"Video Unavailable."

That sucks. Now I'll never be able to see naked people on the internet.
posted by bondcliff at 5:57 PM on May 10 [6 favorites]


Metafilter: conventionally attractive [naked] people.
posted by mule98J at 8:10 PM on May 10


In honor of this thread, the Seattle heatwave and my housemates being out of town, last night I went out and hiked around the property naked for about a half a mile.

The breeze was nice but not having any pockets at all was lame, everything else was pokey and I got bit by mosquitoes.

I did not feel especially connected to nature or anything, but I'm jaded in that I'm already really well connected to nature, and, frankly I think I feel more connected when I have clothes on and I can sit down on the ground without getting stinging nettles up my bum.
posted by loquacious at 4:55 AM on May 11 [3 favorites]


I had another thought about this, and something that isn't often talked about with nudism is how seeing other people naked can be an abuse or trauma trigger. After some reflection, I've remembered that I personally don't like seeing men naked in specifically for this reason, and this is true whether it's at a beach or resort or a locker room.

In a perfect, well adjusted world this would be less of an issue or a non-issue, but this isn't that world. And if these are considered "hangups" about being naked, I don't think that's fair. If people could simply get over or drop these "hangups" - whether through nudism or anything else - sure it'd be nice but it doesn't map to reality.

This combined with the facts or opinions I listed above about there always being some dude that's obviously sexualizing the experience makes me INCREDIBLY uncomfortable to be around casual public nudity, especially involving men.

I think there's one time in my life where casual nudity hasn't been uncomfortable, awkward or outright threatening and I was at a back country, hike-in only hot springs with a hiking party that was mostly women and one very chill and respectful guy, we were all good friends and we had the hot springs entirely to ourselves and no one was creeping on anyone else or interested in anyone else beyond being friends.

And even then I probably would have worn trunks or something if it wasn't for the very long hike in and back out.
posted by loquacious at 5:38 AM on May 13


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