Sometimes they would engage in a greeting, briefly touching noses.
June 2, 2019 4:58 PM   Subscribe

 
Stare! Displace! Yowl! Strike! Stare! Displace!

Not very different from how I spend my day at work.
posted by helmutdog at 5:03 PM on June 2 [39 favorites]


This is excellent. Also, I forgot that this was a Science Magazine thing, so when the word SCIENCE showed up at the end I briefly thought it was just like, "In conclusion: SCIENCE."
posted by duffell at 5:10 PM on June 2 [43 favorites]


retrospectively; defecating
posted by some loser at 5:19 PM on June 2 [23 favorites]


The notes are also kind of like commands for a text-based cat adventure game.

Follow.

Strike.

Stare.

Get ye flask.

Use flask on moth.
posted by darkstar at 5:20 PM on June 2 [39 favorites]


> text-based cat adventure game

I am inspired.
posted by adzm at 5:24 PM on June 2 [21 favorites]


I was thinking of framing this post in interactive fiction mode because that's how it struck me as well.

> STARE FENCE

Nothing has moved.

> STARE FENCE

Nothing has moved.

> STARE FENCE

Nothing has moved. Maybe you'd like a nap.

posted by not_on_display at 5:28 PM on June 2 [90 favorites]


the tomcat's backstab EVISCERATES YOU!!!! you are bleeding!!!
posted by some loser at 5:35 PM on June 2 [7 favorites]


>recall; recall;recall;recall;
you disappear in a swirling cloud of fur> quit;
connection closed (realmofcats.metafilter.com:4000)
posted by some loser at 5:40 PM on June 2 [9 favorites]


>TOUCH NOSES
Are you kidding?
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:41 PM on June 2 [4 favorites]


McCaughan et al. did the pioneering work in this field nearly 8 years ago now, but neither the authors nor the popular press see fit to credit them. Science is rife with such injustices.
posted by multics at 5:42 PM on June 2 [14 favorites]


(Note to those posting "Name my kitteh!" entreaties in AskMe: Treacle is an excellent cat name.)
posted by Kat Allison at 5:50 PM on June 2 [15 favorites]


You see another cat, fight, flee
When your bullshit meter gets too high, you must return home
When you return home you must demand and receive wet food and snuggles until your bullshit meter goes down
When it goes down too much you must be let outside to stir up bullshit with the other cats and other animals in the neighborhood
posted by bleep at 6:00 PM on June 2 [34 favorites]


Side note: my kitty is loving on me so much at this moment. Nuzzles and kisses and purrs. Good kitty.
posted by duffell at 6:24 PM on June 2 [8 favorites]


> USE MOTH
Use moth on what?

> USE MOTH ON OBJECT
I'm not sure what you're trying to do.

> USE MOTH TO MANIPULATE OBJECT
Nothing happens.

>ANGRY HISSING
posted by eponym at 6:26 PM on June 2 [61 favorites]


We just received scientific confirmation of Erin Hunter's world.
posted by doctornemo at 6:36 PM on June 2 [6 favorites]


*stares social *
It me!
posted by greermahoney at 6:48 PM on June 2 [3 favorites]


Q: How do you hope this work will be applied?

A: I hope more people put cameras on cats to understand their behavior.

Yes, please!!
posted by greermahoney at 6:52 PM on June 2 [12 favorites]


I would watch eleven hours of this a day.
posted by Nyrha at 6:55 PM on June 2 [5 favorites]


When your bullshit meter gets too high, you must return home

Home It Good!

Are we not cats? We are mee-yohh.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:01 PM on June 2 [8 favorites]


And you can’t follow a cat when it jumps over a fence.

So there are limits to your science, eh?
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:12 PM on June 2 [5 favorites]


> text-based cat adventure game

"Knock things over. Take a nap. Enslave humanity. Power, fame, and catnip are yours for the licking!" Choice of the Cat by Jordan Reyne Play the first two chapters for free!
posted by hippybear at 7:38 PM on June 2 [9 favorites]


I hope more people put cameras on cats to understand their behavior.

DEF CON 22 - Gene Bransfield - Weaponizing Your Pets: The War Kitteh and the Denial of Service Dog
posted by flabdablet at 8:15 PM on June 2 [4 favorites]


Metafilter: retrospectively; defectating.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 8:33 PM on June 2 [5 favorites]


My cat sometimes wears a tiny camera - still image only, but it's small enough that she can climb trees and jump onto fences. Her Instagram. She's the artist, I curate.

She climbs trees more than I expected, has more cat friends than I knew about, sits on the roof and hangs out under cars. Lots of shadow selfies and accidental abstracts.
posted by tula at 8:47 PM on June 2 [61 favorites]


"shadow selfies" is such a poetic phrase.

MetaFilter: Lots of shadow selfies and accidental abstracts.
posted by hippybear at 8:51 PM on June 2 [11 favorites]


>TOUCH NOSES
Are you kidding?


>.< >.<
No, not kidding at all.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:02 PM on June 2 [3 favorites]


Kitteh needs food badly
posted by 7segment at 9:33 PM on June 2 [6 favorites]


Chester was profoundly disturbed by the yowling emerging from my computer.
posted by jrochest at 9:51 PM on June 2 [1 favorite]


Pips too. She adopted a posture of DEFCON 2.
posted by janell at 10:10 PM on June 2 [1 favorite]


In particular because he could HEAR a cat, but there WAS NO CAT IN THE ROOM. What evil witchcraft is this???
posted by jrochest at 10:32 PM on June 2 [1 favorite]


Princess Fluffykins The Terrible went in search of the intruder, and is still deeply suspicious.

(Also, hello.)
posted by Pentickle at 1:25 AM on June 3 [5 favorites]


attention cats i want to touch noseys
posted by poffin boffin at 1:27 AM on June 3 [6 favorites]


My cats are indoor cats. Here is their day:

5.30am. Wake up. Start meowing for food and pawing faces. Continue until Human no. 1 gets up and feeds us. (Failure mode - wake up too early and get shut out of the room for being annoying)

6am - 7am. Attempt to sit in Human no 1's desk chair. If he is in the chair, sit on him.

7.10am. After human no. 1 leaves for work, return to bed for snuggles. If possible, sit on human no. 2. If the angle is too awkward for sitting, simple press against her and slowly push her against the wall to take over the bed.

9-10am. Wake up again. Start meowing for food again until Human no. 2 wakes up and hides dry food around the house for us.

10.30 am. Paw at blanket on sofa until Human arranges it to makes a tent out of it (I'm not kidding, they do this every single day after second breakfast). Go under blanket. Lick other cat. Nap.

12.am What about some more food? I would like some more food.

12.30. Kneading. Now I want to lie on you.

1pm. I'm still lying on you, in between you and whatever you're doing, but I'm super cute so I guess you'll make it work.

1.30pm Play with tinfoil ball until it is lost under shoe rack or sofa.
2 pm Stare out of window.
4pm. Stand by front door and yowl because I want to go out in the hall and walk up and down
5.00 pm. Human. no 1. Returns! Much meowing! Escape into the hall and run around yowling!
5.30 - 6pm Meow for dinner. Paw at any available bare skin
6pm. First dinner!
6-7pm. Annoy Human no. 1
7.pm Play time
7.30. Begin the meowing for dinner.
8pm. Second dinner.
8.30pm. Zoomies! Chase my sister!
10pm. Bed time.
2am. Mysterious night-time rambling.
posted by stillnocturnal at 2:07 AM on June 3 [16 favorites]


Also my cats do not touch noses, but they do headbump each other. And sit and lick each others faces at the same time.
posted by stillnocturnal at 2:08 AM on June 3 [2 favorites]


MetaFilter: >ANGRY HISSING
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:10 AM on June 3 [9 favorites]


> realmofcats.metafilter.com:4000

sayto frimble I merely remark that there are 10mos until April 1
posted by Westringia F. at 5:18 AM on June 3 [12 favorites]


My cat does both: touch noses AND head bumps.
It does the one on the first contact of the day and the other at other times.
posted by Burn_IT at 5:27 AM on June 3 [2 favorites]


I suspect that on many days I could set up a stationary camera and still manage to capture nearly all of our cats behavior once we leave.

We have two cats - boycat is a sweet gentle orange tabby, who dearly loves (and is loved by) our son. Girlcat is a snowshoe, all the vocal fun of a Siamese with added clinginess - she is enthralled by me, for some reason. She likes my wife and tolerates the boy, but she has decided she is my cat girlfriend and must be near me as often as possible.

Typical day:

4am household asleep and all is well
5am cats suddenly recall it has been hours since feeding, immediately remind humans they are starving to death, dodge thrown pillows and/or suffer indignity of being locked out of room
6am woman out of bed, cats beg for food to alleviate starvation, woman cruelly ignores them
6:30 man out of bed, cats vocalize their lack of happiness in woman, man ignores them and instead focuses on cup of bitter black beverage
7am woman feeds cats and leaves, cats sated, ignore man, find chair to sit on
8am boy awakes, boycat immediately snuggled, girlcat feigns disinterest
8:30am man leaves, boycat snuggling continues unabated, girlcat remains aloof
9am boy leaves house, cats momentarily sad; sit on chair and commence grooming
10am sleeping in chair
11am sleeping in chair
[...]
3pm sleeping in chair
4pm boy returns, boycat much rejoicing, girlcat pretends not to care
4:30pm woman returns, boycat much rejoicing, girlcat mildly interested
5pm man returns, boycat much rejoicing, girlcat intensely needs petting
5:05pm cats suddenly realize they are again on brink of starvation, begin carefully planned campaign of subterfuge and guile to encourage feeding and/or steal anything edible that may be lying around
6pm boy finally feeds cats, boycat again snuggled, girlcat follows man around house waiting for him to sit so that he can be catted upon
7-8pm cats dimly recall that food is no longer present, alternate between asking for food and being chased away from furniture that has been mistaken for scratching post
9pm man finally takes pity upon poor cats and feeds them, preventing starvation
9:05pm boy in bed, boycat snuggled onto boy bed, girlcat intensely needs petting and spends remainder of hour catting upon man
9:30 boycat wanders into living room and turns woman into cat bed, girlcat has placed approximately 3 cats worth of cat hair onto man’s lap, finally content
10-11pm man and woman in bed, cats doing their best to take up as much of bed as possible
1205am cats suddenly realize Something Is Wrong, go tear-assing around house at incredible speed for 5 minutes and then immediately go back to sleep
posted by caution live frogs at 5:51 AM on June 3 [10 favorites]


retrospectively: defecating
posted by dismas at 6:20 AM on June 3 [3 favorites]


Researchers strapped video cameras on 16 cats and let them do their thing.

I’ve been doing this freelance all this time. I had no idea there was funding available.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:31 AM on June 3 [4 favorites]



> realmofcats.metafilter.com:4000

sayto frimble I merely remark that there are 10mos until April 1


I think the SMAUG code is still available somewhere on the internets. I'd probably just customize the latest version of SMAUG instead of trying to re-invent the wheel with DIKUmud or some such
posted by some loser at 8:04 AM on June 3 [1 favorite]


retrospectively; defecating

retromingent-ly, spraying.
posted by Bee'sWing at 8:28 AM on June 3 [2 favorites]


The making a tent thing... my cats have also discovered that I can just lift the blanket for them and it makes their life so much easier. Spoiled they are.
posted by sio42 at 8:34 AM on June 3 [3 favorites]


My cat, a highly regarded lawyer and advocate for the less privileged (herself), also had a PhD in getting underneath blankets by herself. She was very accomplished.
posted by bleep at 10:00 AM on June 3 [4 favorites]


Is there a longer more comprehensive version of this/these videos?
posted by Pig Tail Orchestra at 10:24 AM on June 3 [1 favorite]


I had to kill the sound to watch it, I'm at home with three cats who all perked up anxiously on hearing an unknown cat vocalize.
posted by bile and syntax at 11:36 AM on June 3 [2 favorites]


I'm always disappointed that neither of my cats care at all about cat-noises coming from the TV or the computer.
posted by sarcasticah at 12:30 PM on June 3 [2 favorites]




Anybody have any suggestions for a good cat-can? I got one a couple of years ago, but it’s far too big for my (large) cat. I presume they must’ve improved.
posted by pompomtom at 3:55 PM on June 3 [1 favorite]


a go-preow?
posted by not_on_display at 9:01 PM on June 3 [1 favorite]


My little ex-stray/colony cat gets extremely agitated if I watch any cat videos with sound. She's super happy to have her own palace, free from all other cats and miscellaneous outdoor noises. Also, she is totally chill about having breakfast at 10am or later and has never knocked anything off a surface on purpose, so I think I can say I won the cat lottery.
posted by ktkt at 11:16 PM on June 3 [4 favorites]


My cat, a highly regarded lawyer and advocate for the less privileged (herself), also had a PhD in getting underneath blankets by herself. She was very accomplished.

Youngercatbailard can do this, and has very gently cat-punched me in the back of the thigh through a blanket and sheet out of boredom. About three hours earlier than I was planning on getting up. (She knows how to cat-punch just right so that it doesn't break the skin.)

She also does that when I'm sitting on the couch 'the wrong way' and haven't made a triangle of lap handy.
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:34 PM on June 3 [2 favorites]


She also does that when I'm sitting on the couch 'the wrong way' and haven't made a triangle of lap handy.

HUMAN HOW COULD YOU
posted by bile and syntax at 8:11 AM on June 4 [3 favorites]


The article about the difficulties of cat research is also worth your time.

So you’re saying I can play with cats all day and call it research as long as I document what happens?
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 2:36 PM on June 5 [3 favorites]


Welcome to Cat Simulator 2019.

>NEW GAME
You are a Level 1 Cat.

>LOOK
You are by the door to Outside. There is a Human here.

>PAW AT DOOR
Human says something in annoyed tone.

>MEOW
Human says something in louder annoyed tone.

>PAW AT DOOR AND MEOW
Human says something in even louder annoyed tone, but approaches and opens door.

>LOOK
You are by the door to Outside. There is a Human here. The Human is holding the door to Outside open. The Human looks irritated.

>WAIT
Human points out door and says something in loudest, most annoyed tone yet.

>LICK PAWS
Human closes door and goes back to whatever it was they were doing.

>PAW AT DOOR AND MEOW

GAME OVER
You have scored 100 points out of a possible 100!

posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:29 AM on June 6 [12 favorites]


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