rogue sneakers
June 21, 2019 10:33 PM Subscribe
These TV shows were ruined by stray shoes: A rogue sneaker is all it takes to smash through the suspension of disbelief.
"Now, I understand that in some cultures, it’s considered acceptable to wear shoes indoors. But shoes on the bed is a different kettle of fish. White people I’ve consulted are as baffled and disgusted by this behaviour as anyone else. In real life, no one lets their dirty soles touch their sheets or sofa but somehow it happens all the time in movies and TV shows."
friend linking: I know the author, Jinghua Qian, from university days.
"Now, I understand that in some cultures, it’s considered acceptable to wear shoes indoors. But shoes on the bed is a different kettle of fish. White people I’ve consulted are as baffled and disgusted by this behaviour as anyone else. In real life, no one lets their dirty soles touch their sheets or sofa but somehow it happens all the time in movies and TV shows."
friend linking: I know the author, Jinghua Qian, from university days.
AMERICANS amirite?
posted by GuyZero at 11:22 PM on June 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by GuyZero at 11:22 PM on June 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
rogue sneakers
and a pina colada my friend
what, we were all thinking it
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:38 PM on June 21, 2019 [20 favorites]
and a pina colada my friend
what, we were all thinking it
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:38 PM on June 21, 2019 [20 favorites]
Oh man, the conversations I’ve had with Japanese people about this…
I mean, yes, Americans DO wear shoes inside, don’t get me wrong, but it’s NOT like THAT, I assure them, with progressively less and less confidence as time goes on
posted by DoctorFedora at 2:39 AM on June 22, 2019 [13 favorites]
I mean, yes, Americans DO wear shoes inside, don’t get me wrong, but it’s NOT like THAT, I assure them, with progressively less and less confidence as time goes on
posted by DoctorFedora at 2:39 AM on June 22, 2019 [13 favorites]
In real life, no one lets their dirty soles touch their sheets or sofa ...
Maybe not in your real life. In real real life, it happens. People who wear lace-up boots, especially tall lace-up boots that take 5 minutes to put on and take off, are likely to resist taking them off. Even on a couch. They mostly don't get into bed wearing boots, but if they stagger home drunk, and pass out on the bed, it's not unheard of. Usually, no one is injured when that happens, unless someone like the author blows a gasket.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:12 AM on June 22, 2019 [24 favorites]
Maybe not in your real life. In real real life, it happens. People who wear lace-up boots, especially tall lace-up boots that take 5 minutes to put on and take off, are likely to resist taking them off. Even on a couch. They mostly don't get into bed wearing boots, but if they stagger home drunk, and pass out on the bed, it's not unheard of. Usually, no one is injured when that happens, unless someone like the author blows a gasket.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:12 AM on June 22, 2019 [24 favorites]
A true shared moment of #notallwhitepeople for Asians I know is discovering in-person the awe-inspiring fact that there are white cultures that takes their shoes off at the door etc (that and hesitantly checking if they are to walk in straight away with their shoes on).
posted by cendawanita at 3:29 AM on June 22, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by cendawanita at 3:29 AM on June 22, 2019 [8 favorites]
I HATE outdoor shoes in my house. It grosses me out to have outdoor shoes traipsing around all over the house. I take mine off at the door.
posted by biscotti at 4:29 AM on June 22, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by biscotti at 4:29 AM on June 22, 2019 [6 favorites]
Jane Rizzoli, who we were told was straight (for 7 seasons on "Rizzoli & Isles"), was notorious for wearing her boots to bed with her LLBFF Maura Isles.
posted by Carol Anne at 5:15 AM on June 22, 2019
posted by Carol Anne at 5:15 AM on June 22, 2019
I thought this was going to be about sneaker heads noticing shoes from incorrect eras or social strata in shows. Very disappointed there were no time travelling or social class boundary busting sneakers.
posted by srboisvert at 6:07 AM on June 22, 2019 [65 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 6:07 AM on June 22, 2019 [65 favorites]
Brought my 4 year old new shoes yesterday afternoon. He wore them from the shop all night - including to a local playground and into a sandpit (of course). He refused to take them off to sleep - but eventually settled for hugging them. He crawled into my bed for a hug a few hours back...bringing the shoes. So dear reader I have a pair of sandy kid’s size 13 shoes lurking somewhere under the sheets next to me.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 6:08 AM on June 22, 2019 [23 favorites]
posted by inflatablekiwi at 6:08 AM on June 22, 2019 [23 favorites]
I've been under a rock I guess... of all the ways to find out Rhea Butcher and Cameron Esposito separated.
posted by Green With You at 6:53 AM on June 22, 2019 [10 favorites]
posted by Green With You at 6:53 AM on June 22, 2019 [10 favorites]
I thought this was going to be about sneaker heads noticing shoes from incorrect eras or social strata in shows. Very disappointed there were no time travelling or social class boundary busting sneakers.
My reaction, too. I wanted to read that article.
WRT shoes in the house -- over the last 10 years, I notice tradespeople have stopped needing to be asked to take off their shoes, and now either do that automatically, or put on overbooties. A cultural shift observed.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:58 AM on June 22, 2019 [10 favorites]
My reaction, too. I wanted to read that article.
WRT shoes in the house -- over the last 10 years, I notice tradespeople have stopped needing to be asked to take off their shoes, and now either do that automatically, or put on overbooties. A cultural shift observed.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:58 AM on June 22, 2019 [10 favorites]
I was raised to treat the soles of shoes as if they were coated in dogshit and pathogens at all times. We wore shoes indoors, but never in the bedroom. I stopped wearing lace-up boots when I married someone from a strict no-shoe-zone household and culture, and switched to slip-ons.
But yeah, the scenes where people put the soles of their shoes on the sofas in Requiem for a Dream squicked me out almost as much as the festering wounds and shock treatments.
I specifically remember recoiling when watching a friend in high school hold his foot with his hands firmly on the soles of his shoes. I mean, that to me was just like bending down and rubbing your face in a puddle of vomit.
Why??
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 7:00 AM on June 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
But yeah, the scenes where people put the soles of their shoes on the sofas in Requiem for a Dream squicked me out almost as much as the festering wounds and shock treatments.
I specifically remember recoiling when watching a friend in high school hold his foot with his hands firmly on the soles of his shoes. I mean, that to me was just like bending down and rubbing your face in a puddle of vomit.
Why??
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 7:00 AM on June 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
I thought this was going to be about sneaker heads noticing shoes from incorrect eras or social strata in shows. Very disappointed there were no time travelling or social class boundary busting sneakers.
That's why I clicked the link too. Instead it was... I don't know, what was the point? It's somehow bad to wear shoes in certain specific circumstances decided by this particular man?
I'm wearing a lovely pair of plimsolls and lying on a sofa right now - in your face shoe rules man!
there are white cultures that takes their shoes off at the door etc
In the UK it seems to be completely random - there's just no way to predict whether someone will insist you take off your shoes or look at you like you're bonkers for doing so. As far as I can tell the only rule is 'always wear fancy socks when visiting someone for the first time, just in case'. Plus, maybe, 'if you can see a white carpet, it's probably best to assume you're entering a no-shoe house'.
posted by jack_mo at 7:06 AM on June 22, 2019 [12 favorites]
That's why I clicked the link too. Instead it was... I don't know, what was the point? It's somehow bad to wear shoes in certain specific circumstances decided by this particular man?
I'm wearing a lovely pair of plimsolls and lying on a sofa right now - in your face shoe rules man!
there are white cultures that takes their shoes off at the door etc
In the UK it seems to be completely random - there's just no way to predict whether someone will insist you take off your shoes or look at you like you're bonkers for doing so. As far as I can tell the only rule is 'always wear fancy socks when visiting someone for the first time, just in case'. Plus, maybe, 'if you can see a white carpet, it's probably best to assume you're entering a no-shoe house'.
posted by jack_mo at 7:06 AM on June 22, 2019 [12 favorites]
...time travelling or social class boundary busting sneakers...
It's the wrong trainers, Grommit!
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 7:19 AM on June 22, 2019 [9 favorites]
It's the wrong trainers, Grommit!
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 7:19 AM on June 22, 2019 [9 favorites]
I spent my partying years hanging out with goths, and no one wears more impractical footwear than goths. There was always a giant pile of black boots near the door at every party or social gathering.
posted by cirhosis at 7:35 AM on June 22, 2019 [24 favorites]
posted by cirhosis at 7:35 AM on June 22, 2019 [24 favorites]
Where I grew up shoes were more generally seen as ways to protect your feet from PAIN, not FILTH. I didn't live in a city, so I had ample opportunities to be barefoot outside, which was also not generally seen as 'disgusting.' The fetish for immediate at-door shoe removal has always seemed precious to me - want me to take a shower in an airlock before I come in as well?
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:50 AM on June 22, 2019 [27 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:50 AM on June 22, 2019 [27 favorites]
people are weird. all of you.
posted by crush at 8:03 AM on June 22, 2019 [11 favorites]
posted by crush at 8:03 AM on June 22, 2019 [11 favorites]
It's less that I want you to take a shower in an airlock, and more that I want to be able to barefoot around my own house at some other time. That, I feel, is a big discriminant; if everyone in the house only takes off slippers (or socks? maybe?) just before they get into bed, then I suppose there's no reason to treat any particular floor anywhere any different than anywhere else. But I'm not one of those people; I wander my house barefoot all the time, so I want my floor not to give me warts.
posted by Fraxas at 8:04 AM on June 22, 2019 [13 favorites]
posted by Fraxas at 8:04 AM on June 22, 2019 [13 favorites]
And in southeast Asian cultures that I'm from, there would be a small container of water for you to wash your feet, after taking off the shoes, before entering the home. At the very least, wash your feet before going to bed. And floors are wooden slats, in stilt houses, so the feet dries off quickly. Coming from that upbringing, wearing shoes that tracks matter directly anywhere inside the house is very bizarre.
posted by cendawanita at 8:07 AM on June 22, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by cendawanita at 8:07 AM on June 22, 2019 [6 favorites]
I don’t understand people that wear shoes inside for the same reason I don’t understand people who wear pants inside.
posted by Automocar at 8:56 AM on June 22, 2019 [10 favorites]
posted by Automocar at 8:56 AM on June 22, 2019 [10 favorites]
My son has been watching Full House reruns and the number of times I’ve seen people on beds with shoes on has been more unnerving than Dave Coullier’s smarmy charm.
posted by furtive at 9:01 AM on June 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by furtive at 9:01 AM on June 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
Being in Canada I can't imagine wearing my shoes inside.
There's the part about tracking in muck from outside, and there's also the part about the smell that builds up if you've got your shoes on 16 hrs straight that I don't want to even contemplate.
Do Americans just have really stinky feet all the time?
posted by thecjm at 9:14 AM on June 22, 2019 [7 favorites]
There's the part about tracking in muck from outside, and there's also the part about the smell that builds up if you've got your shoes on 16 hrs straight that I don't want to even contemplate.
Do Americans just have really stinky feet all the time?
posted by thecjm at 9:14 AM on June 22, 2019 [7 favorites]
I live in Estonia where summer is known as "three months of shitty skiing weather". The rest of the year it's mud, dirt, snow, muddy snow, dirty snow, snowy dirt, muddy dirt, puddles, and mud. And dirt. And nobody, I mean nobody leaves their shoes on when entering indoors. The shoes on/off thing is not just some random cultural quirk.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 9:15 AM on June 22, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by Pyrogenesis at 9:15 AM on June 22, 2019 [8 favorites]
I have to be able to wear orthotics to easily walk. Also, I wear work boots a lot. I keep a pair of inside shoes by the door, so I can take off outside shoes, and when visiting people who are no shoe people, like my mother, I carry a pair of folding ballet flats in my purse, and just put the orthotics in them. It’s not terribly comfortable, because neither product is designed for that use, but it’s the best compromise I can make unless my host is providing a litter and carriers.
Still, shoes don’t go on furniture.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 9:29 AM on June 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
Still, shoes don’t go on furniture.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 9:29 AM on June 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
I feel like an oaf now because I come from a shoes-in-house family and, hell, I'm wearing shoes right now. Shoes! I like them. I dislike bare feet or stocking feet; they're extremely private to me, and although I respect other people's house rules, I am always a little -- well -- wrong-footed if I have to take off my shoes. It's not so bad in summer, when I try to wear sandals all the time, but in the winter, with the boots: ugh, no, please give me some slippers or something.
posted by Countess Elena at 9:30 AM on June 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 9:30 AM on June 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
I find that people who frequently do not wear shoes with socks suffer from stinky feet. My feet never stink unless I wear sandals.
posted by Autumnheart at 9:31 AM on June 22, 2019
posted by Autumnheart at 9:31 AM on June 22, 2019
Just guessing here but as for wearing shoes on TV maybe the reason is that it's harder to keep bare feet or socks looking clean on camera; no one wants to see the bottoms of socks on screen. Also we're just so used to seeing shoes that having sit-com characters walking around in socks would look weird to the audience.
Another thought it that it's just narrative economy. It just takes time to take shoes off and put them back on so that directors don't want to waste that time in a show.
posted by octothorpe at 9:37 AM on June 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
Another thought it that it's just narrative economy. It just takes time to take shoes off and put them back on so that directors don't want to waste that time in a show.
posted by octothorpe at 9:37 AM on June 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
Well, they don't have to wear white socks on TV, and dark-colored ones wouldn't show dirt so much. As for not taking up show time with shoe operations, there are hours of people doing other stuff that they don't include either, so this doesn't look like much of an obstacle.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:50 AM on June 22, 2019
posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:50 AM on June 22, 2019
If I didn't have three cats, I'd be more receptive to going without shoes in the house. Whether it's stray litter they've kicked up (can't put down mats, the fluffy gray one pees on those), hairballs they've coughed up, the occasional vomit, or who knows what else, I'd rather squash it wit the rubber sole of my Palladiums than absorb it into my socks or step directly on it.
I do take care to keep the soles away from where they otherwise don't belong.
posted by Leviathant at 10:44 AM on June 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
I do take care to keep the soles away from where they otherwise don't belong.
posted by Leviathant at 10:44 AM on June 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
Do people who kiss dogs wear shoes indoors? Is that a correlation? Let's get to the bottom of this!
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 11:01 AM on June 22, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 11:01 AM on June 22, 2019 [6 favorites]
Daily Mail: Is asking your guests to take their shoes off house-proud or a social horror?
posted by TheophileEscargot at 11:10 AM on June 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by TheophileEscargot at 11:10 AM on June 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
I think this is Mifi's 100,000,57th 'shoes or no shoes' thread, but I will again point out to no-shoe people that 1) dirt is everywhere 2) your floor is not clean unless you wash it five times a day, and even then it's not, really 3) asking people to dress up for a party and then demanding that they pad around in their stocking feet suggests that you care more about your flooring than your friends 4) there is nothing more revolting than using a strange bathroom while barefoot 5) most people swap shoes for slippers when they get home but that's because they're HOME and they wander around braless in shabby yoga pants for the same reason 6) if you ask a plumber or a carpenter to abandon their work boots for stocking feet you deserve any workmans comp lawsuit you get.
All beings everywhere in all occupied dimensions of reality take off muddy, soiled, wet or snowy footwear; we're talking about clean, dogshit-free dress shoes. I bring indoor shoes to parties in the winter, the same way I bring shoes to work.
Seriously, I think this is a category issue, not a cleanliness one. If you live in the suburbs and only ever casually host intimate friends or family, or your kid's friends, then getting everyone to take off their shoes makes sense: the simple fact of walking through the door makes you a member of the family and your stinky hairy feet are among friends. If you live in the city and entertain colleagues and work contacts, you're more formal. Asking your boss to pad around in stocking feet at a cocktail party is a great way to be overlooked for promotions.
posted by jrochest at 11:54 AM on June 22, 2019 [12 favorites]
All beings everywhere in all occupied dimensions of reality take off muddy, soiled, wet or snowy footwear; we're talking about clean, dogshit-free dress shoes. I bring indoor shoes to parties in the winter, the same way I bring shoes to work.
Seriously, I think this is a category issue, not a cleanliness one. If you live in the suburbs and only ever casually host intimate friends or family, or your kid's friends, then getting everyone to take off their shoes makes sense: the simple fact of walking through the door makes you a member of the family and your stinky hairy feet are among friends. If you live in the city and entertain colleagues and work contacts, you're more formal. Asking your boss to pad around in stocking feet at a cocktail party is a great way to be overlooked for promotions.
posted by jrochest at 11:54 AM on June 22, 2019 [12 favorites]
Who are these people who host parties with bosses at home?
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 11:59 AM on June 22, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 11:59 AM on June 22, 2019 [9 favorites]
low-key glad i never got that entry-level job in the uk when i graduated and so i had to go home, where everyone is sensible and leaves their shoes outside. even bosses.
posted by cendawanita at 12:11 PM on June 22, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by cendawanita at 12:11 PM on June 22, 2019 [7 favorites]
We're a shoes off family, but for personal comfort. I distinctly remember having some friends over to my grandmother's for some event and her saying as they eyed the pile of shoes, " Please, do whatever you prefer, we really don't care. I'm not sure how we got in the habit of taking shoes off." It blew my mind that shoes off wasn't SOP, but also realized it wasn't something I especially cares about. I fortunately married someone similarly inclined.
But my feet are also gross. Boney, finger-like toes, callused. So I try to have a pair of clean barre socks in my purse to change in to whenever I visit someone else's home. I can leave my shoes if they prefer. Otherwise I have something to cover my feet up if I happen to be wearing nylon footies or something.
stray litter they've kicked up (can't put down mats, the fluffy gray one pees on those),
The Roomba makes life a million times better.
posted by ghost phoneme at 12:11 PM on June 22, 2019
But my feet are also gross. Boney, finger-like toes, callused. So I try to have a pair of clean barre socks in my purse to change in to whenever I visit someone else's home. I can leave my shoes if they prefer. Otherwise I have something to cover my feet up if I happen to be wearing nylon footies or something.
stray litter they've kicked up (can't put down mats, the fluffy gray one pees on those),
The Roomba makes life a million times better.
posted by ghost phoneme at 12:11 PM on June 22, 2019
Or keep a broom and dustpan handy. It's not a huge task; just takes a few seconds.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:55 PM on June 22, 2019
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:55 PM on June 22, 2019
How am I expected to cause a scene and storm out of the party or narrowly escape the killer or avoid being busted by The Sweeney if I have to stop en route to lace up my boots?
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 2:22 PM on June 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 2:22 PM on June 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
Carry them with you as you race off in your socks, of course. For comic effect, you can pull them on as you hop on one foot, then the other, on your escape path.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 2:25 PM on June 22, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Kirth Gerson at 2:25 PM on June 22, 2019 [5 favorites]
Haha! I stand (hop?) corrected!
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 2:26 PM on June 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 2:26 PM on June 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
Hi have you met cats? A broom and dustpan ain’t gonna cover the breadth of where their litter ends up being tracked. A Roomba isn’t going to take care of the little piles o’ cat puke! My cat and rotating cast of foster kittens laugh in the face of such suggestions.
I grew up in a family who didn’t care about shoes in the house and I now have two big dogs and I’m not wiping their feet whenever they go in and out, so I clean my carpets at least monthly. About to do it right now since there’s like five places a dog or cat has thrown up that the spray carpet cleaner didn’t quite fix. I do appreciate with people take their shoes off when entering my house but I also don’t want to stress about it or assume that it works for everyone’s physical needs
On that note, a big part of it is that my partner needs to wear shoes for the support and it makes a huge difference in her pain levels to be able to just keep the pair on. I used to give her shit about it but it was because I never considered that what works for me doesn’t work for her. She can’t wear most slip-ons, and taking off/putting on shoes is a bigger task for her (i.e. more spoons).
There was an ableist bent to my thinking to that everyone has the ability to walk around barefoot or take shoes on and off easily and it took me years of living with her to realize it’s not the case for her because she doesn’t like to talk about every little thing that is harder for her than me. This is obviously a pretty specific thing to my household but it was a big blind spot for me and I’m sure there are other seemingly able-bodied folks who have similar reasons for keeping shoes on.
Anyway in regards to the article she’d obviously never put the soles of her footwear on the furniture but to me the article’s examples are less upsetting that my personal TV pet peeve that no one closes doors behind themselves, or if they do they don’t lock them, and of course on TV no one ever says “goodbye” to someone on the phone they just hang up. Such is the unreality of most TVs/movies because it’s easier to film that way or whatever.
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 2:30 PM on June 22, 2019 [10 favorites]
I grew up in a family who didn’t care about shoes in the house and I now have two big dogs and I’m not wiping their feet whenever they go in and out, so I clean my carpets at least monthly. About to do it right now since there’s like five places a dog or cat has thrown up that the spray carpet cleaner didn’t quite fix. I do appreciate with people take their shoes off when entering my house but I also don’t want to stress about it or assume that it works for everyone’s physical needs
On that note, a big part of it is that my partner needs to wear shoes for the support and it makes a huge difference in her pain levels to be able to just keep the pair on. I used to give her shit about it but it was because I never considered that what works for me doesn’t work for her. She can’t wear most slip-ons, and taking off/putting on shoes is a bigger task for her (i.e. more spoons).
There was an ableist bent to my thinking to that everyone has the ability to walk around barefoot or take shoes on and off easily and it took me years of living with her to realize it’s not the case for her because she doesn’t like to talk about every little thing that is harder for her than me. This is obviously a pretty specific thing to my household but it was a big blind spot for me and I’m sure there are other seemingly able-bodied folks who have similar reasons for keeping shoes on.
Anyway in regards to the article she’d obviously never put the soles of her footwear on the furniture but to me the article’s examples are less upsetting that my personal TV pet peeve that no one closes doors behind themselves, or if they do they don’t lock them, and of course on TV no one ever says “goodbye” to someone on the phone they just hang up. Such is the unreality of most TVs/movies because it’s easier to film that way or whatever.
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 2:30 PM on June 22, 2019 [10 favorites]
More seriously, shoes-off is definitely a cleanliness issue. Before those tradesmen started going shoes-off, there was always visible dirt on the floor when they left, and not at other times. I grew up in a shoes-on home, and became part of the -off culture by marriage. I would not go back unless I found myself living in a dirt-floored sod hut.
I have a cat. He only trails litter a few feet from the box, and doesn't puke much. If I made the life choice to have a lot of cats, I might have to rethink shoes, but I'm not likely to go there.
Your partner gets a pass, and can wear shoes in my house.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 2:38 PM on June 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
I have a cat. He only trails litter a few feet from the box, and doesn't puke much. If I made the life choice to have a lot of cats, I might have to rethink shoes, but I'm not likely to go there.
Your partner gets a pass, and can wear shoes in my house.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 2:38 PM on June 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
Yeah the thing is she’s not going to argue if someone wants her to take her shoes off. It’s easier to do that than to explain to someone the whole conservation of energy behind leaving them on. It works for our household but even getting me to that point of understanding was a process, since I tended to ask “okay but what if I got you super supportive slip-ons” or a bunch of different what-if’s. I guess my little PSA isn’t super helpful. Just that we’ve had people come into our house and give her shit for wearing shoes and definitely don’t do that to people.
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 2:42 PM on June 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 2:42 PM on June 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
...we’ve had people come into our house and give her shit for wearing shoes and definitely don’t do that to people.
Yeah, that's not OK. My brother and his chums wear their shoes & boots in his house, and I wouldn't dream of complaining about it.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:26 PM on June 22, 2019
Yeah, that's not OK. My brother and his chums wear their shoes & boots in his house, and I wouldn't dream of complaining about it.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:26 PM on June 22, 2019
I grew up in a shoes-on family. After I got married, we toyed with going shoes-off, but then I developed foot problems such that going shoeless on hard floors is very problematic (maybe similar to the partner of the thorn bushes have roses, maybe not). If I'm going to be walking around with shoes on all the time, we didn't feel like we could ask anyone else to go shoeless, though the rest of my family does so by choice. Of course, we almost never have anyone else in the house now that we're not running any RPGs, so it's basically a moot point.
If I went to someone else's house and they asked me to go shoeless, I wouldn't explain, but would simply acquiesce...and then sit down somewhere and not move.
posted by Four Ds at 3:36 PM on June 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
If I went to someone else's house and they asked me to go shoeless, I wouldn't explain, but would simply acquiesce...and then sit down somewhere and not move.
posted by Four Ds at 3:36 PM on June 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
The article reminds me of watching Whitechapel--the part that I found more horrifying than serial killers or gangsters was when the love interest strolled across to the sofa, and then put her pointy boots up on the table. I actually gasped. There is so much dog poo on the streets, now you have a dog poo table.
Personally, now that I have a foot injury that forces me to use subway elevators, I wish I could install a decontamination chamber at my front door. NYC elevators are a little like normal elevators and a lot like the worst toilet in Scotland from Trainspotting.
posted by betweenthebars at 4:10 PM on June 22, 2019
Personally, now that I have a foot injury that forces me to use subway elevators, I wish I could install a decontamination chamber at my front door. NYC elevators are a little like normal elevators and a lot like the worst toilet in Scotland from Trainspotting.
posted by betweenthebars at 4:10 PM on June 22, 2019
I usually take my shoes off in the house because my wife insists that they're "making the floors dirty." This is slightly inconsistent since her dog--Nasty Barkington--goes in and out probably sixty times per day and (thankfully) is unshod. But whotthehell whotthehell.
Having noted my "having an opinion" as my credential for the thread, I will say that I too assumed that the article would be about continuity errors, not pearl-clutching by someone who thinks the customs of his tribe are universal laws. But I guess that might have been work, as well as not allowing full scope for spraying pretentious pretense around the intertubes.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 5:19 PM on June 22, 2019
Having noted my "having an opinion" as my credential for the thread, I will say that I too assumed that the article would be about continuity errors, not pearl-clutching by someone who thinks the customs of his tribe are universal laws. But I guess that might have been work, as well as not allowing full scope for spraying pretentious pretense around the intertubes.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 5:19 PM on June 22, 2019
I go barefoot at home mainly because a bit of fresh air and UV radiation is good for my feet, but it's not a shoes-off-at-the-door situation.
The cleanliness argument never makes sense to me. My hands (which I wash multiple times per day) are certainly no cleaner than the soles of my shoes, mainly because I constantly use my hands to interact with the dirty, dirty world, which is full of other dirty, dirty people, not to mention being attached to my dirty, dirty body. And adopting a no shoes in the house policy won't spare me any vacuuming, sweeping, or floor washing unless I'm happy for other people to walk around in the accumulated hair and skin flakes I'm shedding every moment of the day.
If you have a no-shoes policy that's great and I'm not going to fight you on it any more than I'd fight you on religion or your food preferences. I'll treasure you for all those things. But I'm not a fan of the tone of moral disgust that's played up in the article.
posted by um at 6:52 PM on June 22, 2019 [9 favorites]
The cleanliness argument never makes sense to me. My hands (which I wash multiple times per day) are certainly no cleaner than the soles of my shoes, mainly because I constantly use my hands to interact with the dirty, dirty world, which is full of other dirty, dirty people, not to mention being attached to my dirty, dirty body. And adopting a no shoes in the house policy won't spare me any vacuuming, sweeping, or floor washing unless I'm happy for other people to walk around in the accumulated hair and skin flakes I'm shedding every moment of the day.
If you have a no-shoes policy that's great and I'm not going to fight you on it any more than I'd fight you on religion or your food preferences. I'll treasure you for all those things. But I'm not a fan of the tone of moral disgust that's played up in the article.
posted by um at 6:52 PM on June 22, 2019 [9 favorites]
The reason for my indoor crocs: I've discovered that part of why I don't like doing chores is that my feet hurt on hard wooden floors. Crocs help get the chores done.
posted by clawsoon at 6:56 PM on June 22, 2019
posted by clawsoon at 6:56 PM on June 22, 2019
want me to take a shower in an airlock before I come in as well?
That would be great, thanks
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:20 PM on June 22, 2019 [8 favorites]
That would be great, thanks
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:20 PM on June 22, 2019 [8 favorites]
I find a good compromise, for those of us living in cultures where the default is to keep shoes on inside, is to store all your shoes in a pile by the door like a slob, but to tell people when they arrive that they shouldn't feel obliged to remove their shoes: it's not a house rule or anything.
Most people do it anyway! Like, maybe 4/5. They feel peer pressured by the big pile of shoes on the floor, I guess. So your floors still stay pretty clean and you don't look like a picky asshole.
posted by lollusc at 11:31 PM on June 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
Most people do it anyway! Like, maybe 4/5. They feel peer pressured by the big pile of shoes on the floor, I guess. So your floors still stay pretty clean and you don't look like a picky asshole.
posted by lollusc at 11:31 PM on June 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
Oh? So you don't want people to wear shoes in your house because they're dirty? Well, what about this woman than?
Checkmate, liberals!
posted by MartinWisse at 5:05 AM on June 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
Checkmate, liberals!
posted by MartinWisse at 5:05 AM on June 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
Do either one, but walking barefoot over floor people walked on with shoes will not give you warts, seriously. What an odd claim.
posted by agregoli at 5:22 AM on June 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by agregoli at 5:22 AM on June 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
want me to take a shower in an airlock before I come in as well?
No shower. But when you open the door to any house you find yourself in a small unheated vestibule which has a shoe rack and clothes rack with some coat hangers. Take off your shoes, leave them on the floor (Not in the shoe rack! The packed snow in the soles of your shoes needs to melt first, will leave a huge puddle of dirty water on the floor and it's maybe a bit too intimate to use the shoe rack anyway) and put your overcoat in the hanger. Close the door outside before opening the door from the vestibule to the actual house. Just like an airlock. This is because you don't want to waste heat but the custom is to do the same in the summer as well, just out of habit.
Newer family houses may have a vestibule which has a tiled floor and a drain. There might be a hand shower as well. You don't need to use it, it's for cleaning up the kids' rubber overalls and such.
Welcome to a Northern Scandinavian house! But do take your shoes off first.
posted by ikalliom at 10:46 AM on June 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
No shower. But when you open the door to any house you find yourself in a small unheated vestibule which has a shoe rack and clothes rack with some coat hangers. Take off your shoes, leave them on the floor (Not in the shoe rack! The packed snow in the soles of your shoes needs to melt first, will leave a huge puddle of dirty water on the floor and it's maybe a bit too intimate to use the shoe rack anyway) and put your overcoat in the hanger. Close the door outside before opening the door from the vestibule to the actual house. Just like an airlock. This is because you don't want to waste heat but the custom is to do the same in the summer as well, just out of habit.
Newer family houses may have a vestibule which has a tiled floor and a drain. There might be a hand shower as well. You don't need to use it, it's for cleaning up the kids' rubber overalls and such.
Welcome to a Northern Scandinavian house! But do take your shoes off first.
posted by ikalliom at 10:46 AM on June 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
I strongly prefer the way I grew up: (context: white American, with a fairly diverse American community of friends)
-take off your own shoes at home to slightly ameliorate the frequency of floor-cleaning needed
-always ask at other people's houses if it isn't obvious, and respect their wishes
-guests were politely nudged to take off their shoes by the host's actions and a little sign asking them to. But if they didn't and they were older than ~13ish, it wasn't worth calling them out or making them uncomfortable over it (except in the carpeted bedrooms, maybe)
-we kept (personal) slippers at our house for certain frequent guests who preferred them
-when we hosted parties, shoes were suddenly fine. Again, not worth making folks uncomfortable - especially if there was any backyard/outdoors time involved. We'd be cleaning up afterwards either way.
-none of this applied to the dog, who was very much allowed on the furniture and beds anyways...
For my cultural area, I think it struck a healthy balance between cleanliness and respecting that our guests came from a variety of backgrounds with the whole shoes thing. I believe it is incumbent on hosts to make their guests comfortable as possible, within reason. As with other things where Americans are fairly culturally heterogeneous, being too purist about anything means you're probably going to end up putting someone else out.
posted by mosst at 11:23 AM on June 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
-take off your own shoes at home to slightly ameliorate the frequency of floor-cleaning needed
-always ask at other people's houses if it isn't obvious, and respect their wishes
-guests were politely nudged to take off their shoes by the host's actions and a little sign asking them to. But if they didn't and they were older than ~13ish, it wasn't worth calling them out or making them uncomfortable over it (except in the carpeted bedrooms, maybe)
-we kept (personal) slippers at our house for certain frequent guests who preferred them
-when we hosted parties, shoes were suddenly fine. Again, not worth making folks uncomfortable - especially if there was any backyard/outdoors time involved. We'd be cleaning up afterwards either way.
-none of this applied to the dog, who was very much allowed on the furniture and beds anyways...
For my cultural area, I think it struck a healthy balance between cleanliness and respecting that our guests came from a variety of backgrounds with the whole shoes thing. I believe it is incumbent on hosts to make their guests comfortable as possible, within reason. As with other things where Americans are fairly culturally heterogeneous, being too purist about anything means you're probably going to end up putting someone else out.
posted by mosst at 11:23 AM on June 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
Reading the summary above I immediately thought of "To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before" which I watched months ago - and was happy to see it at the #1 spot in the article.
posted by valeries at 6:15 AM on June 24, 2019
posted by valeries at 6:15 AM on June 24, 2019
I sometimes lay in bed (on top of the covers with the bed made) with my shoes on. Because I'm not a germaphobe and my shoes are clean.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:37 AM on June 24, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:37 AM on June 24, 2019 [1 favorite]
I am a germaphobe and your shoes are not as clean as you think they are
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:24 AM on June 24, 2019
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:24 AM on June 24, 2019
I am a germaphobe and your shoes are not as clean as you think they are
They are cleaner than the dog and the cat. That's my baseline as they also lay on top of the blankets.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:26 AM on June 24, 2019
They are cleaner than the dog and the cat. That's my baseline as they also lay on top of the blankets.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:26 AM on June 24, 2019
I am a germaphobe and your shoes are not as clean as you think they are
Nothing is clean. I did this experiment in 4th grade, and my biggest takeaways were 1. nothing is clean and 2. the least clean things are not what you suspect. I tested my our door handles and the toilet seat and mom's shoes (the shoes were actually on the lower end of grossness, all things considered) and all kinds of other stuff, and nothing in the whole house was as gross as my plastic toys. This fact briefly freaked me out briefly until I realized I was of perfectly average health, gross toys or no gross toys.
I get that shoes are icky, but I'm also not convinced that there is any measurable health benefit to going strictly shoeless inside. I'm not sure how there could be. I'm not about to swipe my finger across my floor and put in in my mouth. (Granted, I might feel differently about this if I had kids, who would absolutely do that.)
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:52 AM on June 24, 2019 [1 favorite]
Nothing is clean. I did this experiment in 4th grade, and my biggest takeaways were 1. nothing is clean and 2. the least clean things are not what you suspect. I tested my our door handles and the toilet seat and mom's shoes (the shoes were actually on the lower end of grossness, all things considered) and all kinds of other stuff, and nothing in the whole house was as gross as my plastic toys. This fact briefly freaked me out briefly until I realized I was of perfectly average health, gross toys or no gross toys.
I get that shoes are icky, but I'm also not convinced that there is any measurable health benefit to going strictly shoeless inside. I'm not sure how there could be. I'm not about to swipe my finger across my floor and put in in my mouth. (Granted, I might feel differently about this if I had kids, who would absolutely do that.)
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:52 AM on June 24, 2019 [1 favorite]
Do people who kiss dogs wear shoes indoors? Is that a correlation? Let's get to the bottom of this!
It me. I even kissed on my dogs indoors while I was wearing shoes.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 9:53 AM on June 24, 2019
It me. I even kissed on my dogs indoors while I was wearing shoes.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 9:53 AM on June 24, 2019
I spend a lot of time in a part of the world where it was customary to take off your shoes before entering a shop. Even today, when it's less common, I'll still stand in the doorway and vaguely gesture at my feet and wait for permission to enter wearing shoes.
My dentist however. Shoes off outside the building with gigantic slippers provided to shuffle up the stairs (tricky) and inside.
The upshot is I only wear slides, clogs, flip flops and the kind of sneakers with elastic laces. My feet would get uncomfortably claustrophobic in any kind of boot.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 5:17 PM on June 24, 2019
My dentist however. Shoes off outside the building with gigantic slippers provided to shuffle up the stairs (tricky) and inside.
The upshot is I only wear slides, clogs, flip flops and the kind of sneakers with elastic laces. My feet would get uncomfortably claustrophobic in any kind of boot.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 5:17 PM on June 24, 2019
I even kissed on my dogs indoors while I was wearing shoes.
Please step into the airlock shower
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:20 PM on June 24, 2019 [1 favorite]
Please step into the airlock shower
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:20 PM on June 24, 2019 [1 favorite]
After reading all the comments, I now see both sides of the issue. From now on, I will take one shoe off and leave one on whenever I go indoors.
posted by kyrademon at 1:41 AM on June 25, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by kyrademon at 1:41 AM on June 25, 2019 [3 favorites]
But which one? Most times, the collection of shoes at the door, or lack of it, will offer no clue, and you could be putting your foot in it committing a faux pas by wearing the wrong shoe.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:04 AM on June 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:04 AM on June 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
[looks up translation of faux pas]
[wags finger disapprovingly]
posted by clawsoon at 5:49 AM on June 25, 2019
[wags finger disapprovingly]
posted by clawsoon at 5:49 AM on June 25, 2019
growing up as a hillbilly, you didn't necessarily want to put on shoes to go outside, but you did it to protect against stickers, sandburrs, and parasites. But you took them off again so you wouldn't get mom's clean floor dirty.
as an adult with plantar fasciitis, leaving my shoes on after coming home was difficult. at one point I rigged up some kind of impromptu support to use in lieu of wearing shoes or one shoe, but it was too loosey goosey to provide the support I needed. So shoes in the house, on the carpet. Sigh.
then negotiating with friends when we'd visit about being able to keep the shoes on:
OK, if I take these off, then I will be in pain, but this is technically your parents' house and you don't feel able to challenge their rules, I guess I'll manage
OK, if I take these off, then I will be in pain, but your new baby is immunologically impaired, and you don't want to expose him to outside contagions, I guess I'll manage
OK, if I take these off, then I will be in pain, oh, that's ok with you? I am so sorry and thank you so much for understanding.
posted by rubah at 11:59 AM on June 27, 2019
as an adult with plantar fasciitis, leaving my shoes on after coming home was difficult. at one point I rigged up some kind of impromptu support to use in lieu of wearing shoes or one shoe, but it was too loosey goosey to provide the support I needed. So shoes in the house, on the carpet. Sigh.
then negotiating with friends when we'd visit about being able to keep the shoes on:
OK, if I take these off, then I will be in pain, but this is technically your parents' house and you don't feel able to challenge their rules, I guess I'll manage
OK, if I take these off, then I will be in pain, but your new baby is immunologically impaired, and you don't want to expose him to outside contagions, I guess I'll manage
OK, if I take these off, then I will be in pain, oh, that's ok with you? I am so sorry and thank you so much for understanding.
posted by rubah at 11:59 AM on June 27, 2019
For your regular friends who you visit, and if you have a car (or similar storage solution), do you have a spare pair that's not been used outside? Indoor-only shoes for medical conditions seems reasonable.
posted by cendawanita at 6:02 PM on June 27, 2019
posted by cendawanita at 6:02 PM on June 27, 2019
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posted by clawsoon at 11:12 PM on June 21, 2019 [19 favorites]