This Man Clearly Escaped From an Adventure Film
July 12, 2019 9:44 AM   Subscribe

 
Either an escapee from a bad action movie script, or an ill-advised cocktail in the making. Bourbon, rattlesnake venom and a uranium garnish.

Also, describing it as "radioactive uranium" just makes me chuckle. It's intrinsically radioactive.
posted by Making You Bored For Science at 9:46 AM on July 12, 2019 [3 favorites]


not even a florida man, what is this world coming to.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:48 AM on July 12, 2019 [10 favorites]


My first thought was Repo Man.
posted by 1970s Antihero at 9:53 AM on July 12, 2019 [14 favorites]


The yellow powder was presumably yellowcake, a not very dangerous early step in processing uranium ore.
posted by Bee'sWing at 9:55 AM on July 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


The only weird part is that it happened on a Thursday.
posted by srboisvert at 9:57 AM on July 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


My first thought was Repo Man.

Mine was Hunter Thompson.
posted by Paul Slade at 9:57 AM on July 12, 2019 [9 favorites]


Looks like them Duke boys are in a whole HEAP a' trouble.
posted by doctornecessiter at 9:59 AM on July 12, 2019 [15 favorites]




I believe non radioactive uranium is called rocks.
posted by evilDoug at 10:02 AM on July 12, 2019 [9 favorites]


Jennings has been charged with a felony count of possession of a stolen vehicle, and misdemeanor counts of transporting an open container of liquor, operating a motor vehicle with a suspended driver’s license and failure to carry security verification form. His passenger, Racheal Rivera, is charged with possession of firearm after a former felony conviction.

No charges on the yellowcake or the rattlesnake? *calls ISIS* "Guys, you won't believe this!"

Officers said they searched the car and found a gun and an almost full open bottle of Kentucky Deluxe whiskey.

Crews with the Emergency Management Institute responded and verified that the substance was radioactive material. Police said they took possession of the substance for safekeeping.


What happened to the snake and the Kentucky Deluxe tho
posted by saysthis at 10:04 AM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]


My first thought was Repo Man.

Mine was Hunter Thompson.


Mine was Philly Boy Roy.
posted by witchen at 10:15 AM on July 12, 2019


I believe non radioactive uranium is called rocks.

You definitely don't want to get any inside you. Remember all the controversy about the military use of depleted uranium in munitions.
posted by Bee'sWing at 10:19 AM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]


I must have seen this dude's face twenty times on my FB feed. He's well on his way to folk hero status (depending on what the uranium was for). Usually "wacky" news stories bum me out because I can see that the guys are from Circumstances, but this man stands out.
posted by Countess Elena at 10:22 AM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]


This made me think of Richard Ford's story Rock Springs in that "first time as tragedy, the second time as farce" kind of way and so here's the closing few lines of Rock Springs and you can swap out the details leading up as necessary:
Though I had a funny sensation at that moment and turned and looked up at the windows along the back of the Ramada Inn. All were dark except two. Mine and another one. And I wondered, because it seemed funny, what would you think a man was doing if you saw him in the middle of the night looking in the windows of cars in the parking lot of the Ramada Inn? Would you think he was trying to get his head cleared? Would you think he was trying to get ready for a day when trouble would come down on him? Would you think his girlfriend was leaving him? Would you think he had a daughter? Would you think he was anybody like you?
posted by notyou at 10:40 AM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]


Wait. Wait. Wait. I went to high school in Guthrie for 2 years. I’m about this guy’s age. I don’t think I ever knew him, but I might have to check the ole yearbook when I get home...
posted by Huffy Puffy at 10:53 AM on July 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


Let this be a lesson to you, always have valid registration stickers
posted by KeSetAffinityThread at 10:57 AM on July 12, 2019 [5 favorites]


Man, that dude has lived a hard 41 years.
posted by Etrigan at 11:01 AM on July 12, 2019 [3 favorites]


Oh shit, "uranium rattlesnake whisky" is my activation codephrase. This thing is live, people, the revolution is GO!
posted by biogeo at 11:08 AM on July 12, 2019 [10 favorites]


The only thing that stops a bad man with Uranium is a good man with Uranium....They can pry it from my cold, dead, green glowing hand...
posted by Justin Case at 11:11 AM on July 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


It's a real life story of Noodle Implements! (Warning: TV Tropes link)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:11 AM on July 12, 2019


Man, that dude has lived a hard 41 years.

Kentucky Deluxe is not the whiskey of a casual drinker or connoisseur, but it's not the worst and gets the job done. I looked a whole lot worse than him in my early 30s when I was buying it by the case of liter bottles. That face and the open bottle of Kentucky Deluxe absolutely belong in the same story.

I'd really like to hear more about the backstory. Even the most boring possible lead up to this arrest would be interesting.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 11:11 AM on July 12, 2019 [3 favorites]


Rip Torn, was my thought.
posted by allthinky at 11:14 AM on July 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


I read "Oklahoma" and quickly rifled through everyone I went to high school it could have been matching that exact description. I stopped when I realized how it was just most of my graduating class.
posted by dw at 11:26 AM on July 12, 2019 [4 favorites]


No charges on the yellowcake

Story doesn't say yellowcake though. Unrefined uranium ore is yellowish, easily obtainable and legal.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 11:43 AM on July 12, 2019


The yellow powder was presumably yellowcake, a not very dangerous early step in processing uranium ore.

Dangerous enough to invade Iraq over tho
posted by kirkaracha at 12:11 PM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]


No charges on the yellowcake or the rattlesnake?

Maybe "failure to carry security verification form" for the former? And according to the Snakes For Pets site (in other news...), Oklahoma does require a Wildlife Breeder’s License to have any type of wildlife as a pet, but hey, maybe he does. I've been to a Rattlesnake Roundup in OK where people go out hunting for them and someone was buying them up, basically to part them out (the hide, venom, rattles for jewelry, etc.).
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:27 PM on July 12, 2019


I wouldn't be so blasè about that uranium.
posted by jamjam at 12:34 PM on July 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


Mine was Hunter Thompson.

“But our trip was different. It was a classic affirmation of everything right and true and decent in the national character. It was a gross, physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country-but only for those with true grit. And we were chock full of that.”
posted by CosmicRayCharles at 12:47 PM on July 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


Hat tip to PFT Commenter for this gem about this: "We call this a Randy Quaid hat-trick."

I corrected the intentional missspelling.
posted by kuanes at 12:54 PM on July 12, 2019


Shoot, a fellow could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
posted by Cookiebastard at 1:20 PM on July 12, 2019 [6 favorites]




the life of a repo man is always intense
posted by chavenet at 2:40 PM on July 12, 2019


The story I read (sometime last night) quoted some cop as saying that because his Fish and Game license was valid (and, if memory serves, lifetime), the rattlesnake was fine because apparently it's "rattlesnake season" (whatever that means -- seemed like an official thing, not just a casual way to say it's the time of year when rattlesnake encounters are common).
posted by axiom at 3:04 PM on July 12, 2019


I am disappointed that the article didn't find out the most important detail.

What was playing on the stolen car's stereo when they pulled him over?
posted by MrVisible at 7:30 PM on July 12, 2019 [3 favorites]


Oklahoma doesn't license firearms. They have something called a "self-defense act license" that allows you to carry a pistol. So an "unlicensed handgun" doesn't exist in Oklahoma. The actual firearm violation was that the passenger was a felon, who cannot legally possess a firearm.

Further, I must agree with an earlier poster: when stealing a car, first make sure the tags aren't expired. Also, should switch plates stolen from random vehicles frequently--it's not like you're not already a dirtbag so what is a little more mayhem.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 8:53 PM on July 12, 2019


Thanks for the detail, Gilgamesh's Chauffeur. I didn't know enough from the story to figure out how to succinctly render what the firearm violation was.
posted by jocelmeow at 9:12 AM on July 13, 2019


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