Mike Ovitz uncovers a sinister organization!

July 2, 2002 12:16 PM

Mike Ovitz uncovers a sinister organization! He claims to be the latest victim of the "gay Mafia." By most accounts, he would also be the first. Is this simple bellyaching from a man who once dominated Hollywood? Or maybe, just maybe, we’re witnessing the birth of a new crime syndicate, and with it, fresh takes on the shopworn mob movies? LA Times link (sigh, registration req.)
posted by herc (17 comments total)

"I think he was out to get himself. He's done it. It's over.... He's on a parade field. They've taken off his epaulets, and now they have to stab him. He shouldn't work in this town again."

That's a great image. Somebody should make a movie -- "The Michael Ovitz Story."
posted by me3dia at 12:20 PM on July 2, 2002

"I'll be the victim, I'll be the victim!"
All your life.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:28 PM on July 2, 2002

The Gay Mafia eh? Sounds too Columbine-esque, they need a better nickname... kind of like the Sopranos....
posted by insomnyuk at 12:34 PM on July 2, 2002

The Homofioso?
posted by Marquis at 12:42 PM on July 2, 2002

is this their legitimate business front? ; )
posted by stifford at 12:43 PM on July 2, 2002

WolfDaddy, you totally made my day with that Addamm's Family Values quote (I love that movie!).

"Is that your bathing suit?"

"Is that your overbite?"
posted by ao4047 at 12:48 PM on July 2, 2002

The gay mafia is just like the regular mafia, only better dressed. Also, when they give someone cement overshoes, they always include the matching handbag.

I have no idea what that means.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:25 PM on July 2, 2002

"Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes, poached in a port wine reduction with haricot vert, chantrelles, and a supcon of truffled figs."

Like Crash, I have no idea what that means.
posted by ColdChef at 1:32 PM on July 2, 2002

"Mike Ovitz had the Big Sleep put on him. Shit, I just came."

A more butch telling of the story, for RJ Reynolds
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:38 PM on July 2, 2002

You have to hand it to him -- it's an interesting way to commit career suicide. Talk about burning your bridges.
posted by donkeyschlong at 1:47 PM on July 2, 2002

Wait a minute...are you telling me there are gays in...in Hollywood?!?
posted by kirkaracha at 2:06 PM on July 2, 2002

Why is this news? Everyone who works in Hollywood knows about the so-called "Gay Mafia"... Or, more accurately, a significant number of high-powered gay men in Hollywood exerting their power.

"Rectum?... Damn near killed him..."
posted by jca at 3:58 PM on July 2, 2002

I’m not at all surprised to read that Hollywood is dominated by a Velvet Mafia of rich homosexuals who demand sexual favors in return for work in the movies.

--Dads Against the Divorce Industry.
posted by RJ Reynolds at 6:45 PM on July 2, 2002

insomnyuk: they need a better nickname... kind of like the Sopranos....

The Falsettos?
posted by dwivian at 9:36 AM on July 3, 2002

Heh, I think that will do just fine.
posted by insomnyuk at 9:44 PM on July 3, 2002

Waitaminnit. I'm seeing a paradox here:

1) There is no such thing as a gay mafia.

2) If you say there is, you'll never work in this town again.

That sounds awfully familiar. "There is no Mafia. We are just legitimate businessmen. And if you call us Mafiosa one more time, I'll have your legs broken."
posted by kablam at 8:06 AM on July 4, 2002

Waitaminnit. I'm seeing a paradox here:

1) There is no such thing as a gay mafia.

2) If you say there is, you'll never work in this town again.

That sounds awfully familiar. "There is no Mafia. We are just legitimate businessmen. And if you call us Mafiosa one more time, I'll have your legs broken."
posted by kablam at 8:06 AM on July 4, 2002