The basic-to-horrible boyfriend as muse
August 23, 2019 2:53 PM   Subscribe

“Here are some smitten, moony-eyed, genuine and heartfelt songs about men who just make you want to go . . . HER?“ An Oh No They Didn’t original post by user zazie_toujours, featuring Dave Coulier, Donald Trump Jr., and other . . . unexpected muses.
posted by sallybrown (33 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
 
I don't read a lot of celebrity gossip, so these posts often surprise me - not because women date terrible men, if they didn't there wouldn't still be a human race, but because the celebrity world is so small and I often end up wondering (a) how they know each other, and (b) if being trapped in a small, dysfunctional circle is one of the reasons these women date(d) these men, like if there is a blinkering effect.

And then I end up wondering if I can ignore my dislike of Elon Musk to just enjoy Grimes' music like I used to. Like, I really don't want to judge a woman by the men in her life but Elon Musk is a fool and I just can't get over it, especially if the music is actually about him.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 3:03 PM on August 23, 2019 [18 favorites]


It’s just so funny to me that pop superstars are struck by the same curse the rest of us have of drowning in emotion over “really...that guy??????” men.
posted by sallybrown at 3:07 PM on August 23, 2019 [4 favorites]


There is not enough "Oh honey...no!" in the world.
posted by emjaybee at 3:15 PM on August 23, 2019 [22 favorites]


If we follow on my broad pop culture theory that Taylor Swift is hitting all the same tabloid cultural points as Joan Crawford then what is this phase?

Like, aside from the obvious
posted by The Whelk at 3:18 PM on August 23, 2019 [7 favorites]


Can you imagine how bewildering it would be if Donald Trump Jr was actually a skilled, passionate, generous lover?

I just can't figure out what expectations Aubrey O'Day would be going into that relationship with.
posted by allegedly at 3:19 PM on August 23, 2019 [7 favorites]


There is not enough "Oh honey...no!" in the world.

A couple of female colleagues of mine recently provided this service to a much younger colleague. The "HER?" in question is the most overtly sexist man in our immediate professional circle.

Friends don't let friends crush on douchebags.
posted by biogeo at 3:27 PM on August 23, 2019 [10 favorites]


*carefully takes off various political, social, Marxist rings, brackets, crowns, collars and neckalces*

Friends don’t let friends have obvious merkins either but since Scooter Braun owns all her masters I guess she has to do something.
posted by The Whelk at 3:28 PM on August 23, 2019 [4 favorites]


Anyway how type A do you have to be for a lyric about being crazy and wild being “keeping Christmas decorations up til Janurary”?
posted by The Whelk at 3:31 PM on August 23, 2019 [18 favorites]


I watched The Favourite last night and just kept thinking “that guy, huh?” He didn’t even get the good makeup.
posted by sallybrown at 3:35 PM on August 23, 2019 [4 favorites]


The oldest crap boyfriend-muse I'm aware of was Lord Alfred Douglas, a creature so petty he titled a poetry collection In Excelsis.

I've often thought about the various blowjobs that Dorothy Parker dated. They were accomplished at the time, but now they are remembered, if at all, as the shape of a hole they left in her life, in her brilliant and painful short stories.
posted by Countess Elena at 4:03 PM on August 23, 2019 [19 favorites]


Bosie? What about Elizabeth I's not-so-secret shame, Robert "Dud" Dudley, Earl of Leicester? Or Heloise's Peter Abelard?
posted by Iris Gambol at 4:29 PM on August 23, 2019 [7 favorites]


I'm just here for the good old-fashioned LJ gif icons.

(Thank you for bringing ONTD back into my life today.)
posted by book 'em dano at 4:51 PM on August 23, 2019 [2 favorites]


So is having no songs whatsoever written about you by any of your exes a positive sign?
posted by davejay at 4:55 PM on August 23, 2019 [4 favorites]


Oh I didn't know about PJ Harvey and Vincent Gallo. Poor poor PJ Harvey...
posted by Ashwagandha at 4:59 PM on August 23, 2019 [6 favorites]


(Thank you for bringing ONTD back into my life today.)

I cackled at this comment. That there is a worthy muse, though. And even though Lindsey Buckingham is supposedly a big jerk, this is an epic muse song.
posted by sallybrown at 5:06 PM on August 23, 2019 [2 favorites]


I've somehow never been to LJ and immediately read "COLLAPSE" on all the comments as some kind of mood thing.

Is this already an extremely basic LJ joke?
posted by Reyturner at 5:24 PM on August 23, 2019


Oh fuck Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea is forever ruined for me now. I did not want to know that.
posted by soren_lorensen at 5:40 PM on August 23, 2019 [2 favorites]


"'Like a Virgin's not about a sensitive girl who meets a nice fella -- that's what 'True Blue' is about..."

I knew in the back of my head that Madonna and Sean Penn were together in the eighties, but never put it together that any of her songs would be about him, so let me say:

1. No, Sean Penn was NOT a nice fella, and

2. Sean Penn's brother is in that scene in Reservoir Dogs. That's weird, right?
posted by Navelgazer at 5:59 PM on August 23, 2019 [4 favorites]


And even though Lindsey Buckingham is supposedly a big jerk, this is an epic muse song

Nothing makes me happier than the very uncomfortable expression on Lindsey Buckingham's face during the last part of "Silver Springs."
posted by Laetiporus at 7:25 PM on August 23, 2019 [5 favorites]


The community was originally created in 2004 by teenagers Erin Lang, Bri Draffen and Breniecia Reuben.[5] Lang maintains that after her mother died in 2009 she was denied access to the site and lost control to the current moderators Brenden Delzer and Elizabeth Carter

I didn't realize that this was the origin of ONTD, until I met one of the original creators.
posted by 41swans at 7:55 PM on August 23, 2019 [2 favorites]


"'Like a Virgin's not about a sensitive girl who meets a nice fella -- that's what 'True Blue' is about..."

Yeah, and a good portion of the Like A Prayer album is Madonna processing her relationship with Sean and placing it in the context of her life. She had a very autobiographical period of her life for a while, and it was some of her best songwriting. Also, Patrick Leonard helped.
posted by hippybear at 7:58 PM on August 23, 2019 [2 favorites]


So, about the Ablum.

*pushes marxist jewlery to the side with foot* God this REALLY feels like We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together which is a regression but it;s really good? It's all super-pop and 2019 and you can cynically say it ls a revision to mean (It so is, that Spelling Is Fun! in Me! is totally a riff on B A A N ANA AS) but it;s also so much ..fun?
posted by The Whelk at 8:10 PM on August 23, 2019


The Whelk: wrong thread?
posted by hippybear at 8:15 PM on August 23, 2019


Of course, who can forget when Robin Sparkles became Robin Daggers?
posted by ckape at 8:17 PM on August 23, 2019 [2 favorites]


2. Sean Penn's brother is in that scene in Reservoir Dogs. That's weird, right?

Wow; even though I had all the information I never made that connection. Although I’ve always enjoyed Tarantino’s movies, this looks like yet another jerk move by him that makes me want to just stick to John Waters and David Lynch films.
posted by TedW at 10:25 PM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]


I'm so confused by the slang here. Why isn't the incredulous crowd saying, "HIM?" (As in "That song is about...HIM?!"). Are they saying, "Wait, that guy dated HER?" But that doesn't seem to scan with the song conceit...
posted by straight at 1:48 AM on August 24, 2019 [5 favorites]


straight: it’s a reference to this - except yeah in this case it should be "HIM?"
posted by bitteschoen at 2:53 AM on August 24, 2019 [4 favorites]


“he's unfortunate in the face” is my new absolute favourite insult.
posted by billiebee at 3:36 AM on August 24, 2019 [4 favorites]


OP doesn't really listen to Clapton so she cannot say whether he has written any songs about how he can never seem to keep it in his pants.

No need to be oblique about the origins of Layla, here. Dude couldn’t keep it in his pants with his best-friend’s wife.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:01 AM on August 24, 2019 [2 favorites]


Based on a photo in the article from this thread, dude wasn't really keeping it in his pants even when it was in his pants.
posted by hippybear at 7:51 AM on August 24, 2019 [1 favorite]


I (unlike most of the people I know who've read it, shrug) kind of hated Daisy Jones and the Six, the recent buzzed-about novel about a 70s rock band who is not quite Fleetwood Mac, but I would without hesitation recommend it to anyone who's into the very uncomfortable expression on Lindsey Buckingham's face during the last part of "Silver Springs."
posted by Jeanne at 10:51 AM on August 24, 2019 [1 favorite]


Nothing makes me happier than the very uncomfortable expression on Lindsey Buckingham's face during the last part of "Silver Springs."

never get away,
NEVER GET AWAY,
NEVER GET AWAY

muahahaha
posted by sallybrown at 11:05 AM on August 24, 2019 [3 favorites]


I feel like Stevie Nicks won both the breakup and life. One of my favorite concert moments ever was watching her perform "Silver Springs" and stalk toward Buckingham while singing this.

I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you
(was I such a fool?)
You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you
(was I such a fool?)

I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you
(give me just a chance)
You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you


I'm sure there was a lot of theater involved but man, that stage business was rooted in something genuine.
posted by sobell at 4:02 PM on August 25, 2019 [1 favorite]


« Older Pregnancy after an eating disorder: A story of two...   |   Quantum Radar is here Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments