Whiskey Tide Pods... are now a thing.
October 5, 2019 7:32 PM   Subscribe

Glenlivet has some time on their hands, and is clearly down with the youths (tm) Glenlivet has devised whiskey cocktail capsules for popping in your mouth. Like a tidepod that wont poison you. Except if you have too many of them.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis (87 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
 
> for popping in your mouth

That's not what these are for FYI.
posted by Space Coyote at 7:37 PM on October 5, 2019 [6 favorites]


My twitter is full of people posting things like this:

He eats a whiskey pod,
He eats a vodka pod,
He eats a lager pod,
He eats a cider pod,
He eats the pods that remind him of the good Tide
He eats the pods that remind him of the better Tide
posted by hippybear at 7:38 PM on October 5, 2019 [181 favorites]


That's not what these are for FYI.

But like... how do you... drink them???
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 7:40 PM on October 5, 2019


Up da pooper, I assume.
posted by Scattercat at 7:42 PM on October 5, 2019 [10 favorites]


23 ml = 0.777723 fluid oz, which is what, half of a standard shot?

So you could get wrecked fairly quickly by popping these in your mouth, depending on your normal consumption habits
posted by thelonius at 7:42 PM on October 5, 2019 [1 favorite]


Booze edibles. So 2019.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 7:45 PM on October 5, 2019 [4 favorites]


So you could get wrecked fairly quickly by popping these in your mouth

*sets a bottle and a shot glass on the table in front of you*

Say that again?
posted by hippybear at 7:49 PM on October 5, 2019 [20 favorites]


I mean, the idea is stupid, but they're just shots without a glass. Eat them quickly you get fucked up just like if you do shots quickly. It's not rocket science.

(Although how they designed a thing that contains alcohol without dissolving but is ingestible is... possibly rocket science. Or perhaps don't ask too many questions. Or eat too many of them in a weekend.)
posted by hippybear at 7:51 PM on October 5, 2019 [8 favorites]


People have been enjoying Scotch whisky for hundreds of years, usually in a glass and often on the rocks, of course.

*drops gloves, raises hands*

OTOH, it's Glenlivet, so it might as well bypass the tongue.

Hey-ooo.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:51 PM on October 5, 2019 [32 favorites]


I mean, the idea is stupid, but they're just shots without a glass. Eat them quickly you get fucked up just like if you do shots quickly. It's not rocket science.

A couple of years ago I was standing in line at a liquor store in the U.S., and there were "Pocket Shots" available for sale beside the checkout. Based on their tiny-IV-bag design, they were clearly designed for people to smuggle into concerts, etc. on one's person, one's "body," if you will.

But it occurred to me the method of smuggling would mean that they'd have reached body temperature before an opportunity to consume them arose. Mmmm. Body temperature peppermint schnapps.

So this Glenlivet thingy isn't really that surprising.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:57 PM on October 5, 2019 [8 favorites]


I, a very occasional fancy whiskey drinker and lover of the "forbidden jelly" meme, linked this to my best friend who surprised me with their replies:

"Kind of silly at first glance, but honestly great news for women drinking at parties, very hard to drug one of those
Also, the container is made of seaweed, so it’s technically sushi"
posted by Mizu at 7:58 PM on October 5, 2019 [64 favorites]


I will also mention that whiskey up the pooper is vastly unpleasant while wine up the pooper is pretty much okay. The stronger alcohol content burns as much down low as it does down the throat.
posted by hippybear at 8:07 PM on October 5, 2019 [17 favorites]


I have so many questions about the commercial. But the one I can't get out of my mind is: What is that style of stock music called? It shoots for classy but misses. It's too loud and too obvious and too tropey.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 8:09 PM on October 5, 2019 [4 favorites]


I'm drinking Scotch right now (Bunnahabhain, to be precise). I love the taste; I enjoy the smell and the mouthfeel; I love the weight of my whiskey glass. I very much enjoy drinking my whiskey.

I suppose if someone handed me one of these, I'd pop it in my mouth. But other than the problem of how to sell scotch to people who don't really want to drink scotch, I'm not sure what problem these solve.
posted by crush at 8:11 PM on October 5, 2019 [6 favorites]


But the one I can't get out of my mind is: What is that style of stock music called? It shoots for classy but misses. It's too loud and too obvious and too tropey.

I know what you mean.

"Flubstep" maybe?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:15 PM on October 5, 2019 [6 favorites]


I will also mention that whiskey up the pooper is vastly unpleasant while wine up the pooper is pretty much okay. The stronger alcohol content burns as much down low as it does down the throat.

I... am pretty sure I know how you know that, but I don't want to know how you know that, so I'm just going to pretend I never read this comment.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 8:23 PM on October 5, 2019 [18 favorites]


sets a bottle and a shot glass on the table in front of you*

Say that again?


When I could drink a 750 ml bottle of Jameson in one night, in about 4 to 6 hours, and it didn’t even make me sick, I knew I was going to have to give it up. I mean, who drinks like that? They have a name for it....
posted by thelonius at 8:24 PM on October 5, 2019 [12 favorites]


The limited-production pods are being served as an amuse-bouche during London's celebration of cocktail innovations, which run through October 13

So then, just inventing a pointless and useless contrivance that only amounts to a blatant attempt to get you company's name in the news. I clicked on this post because whisky, but now I no longer care.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:27 PM on October 5, 2019 [7 favorites]


But it occurred to me the method of smuggling would mean that they'd have reached body temperature before an opportunity to consume them arose. Mmmm. Body temperature peppermint schnapps.

They were always mixers around here (vice peppermint schnapps or goldschlager or w/e), so I expect a small 2oz shot of body temp whiskey wouldn't really affect a cup of ice cold cola and voila: a flask without the time and effort of carrying a flask.
posted by Kyol at 8:30 PM on October 5, 2019 [1 favorite]


Would prefer a suppository.
posted by soakingbook at 8:40 PM on October 5, 2019


I... am pretty sure I know how you know that, but I don't want to know how you know that, so I'm just going to pretend I never read this comment.

It's pretty clear that he's tried wine enemas. Didn't seem to be a subtle hint or anything. What are we in fifth grade around here or something? Anyhoo, room temperature reds are recommended over chilled whites, and sparkling wines might sound fun but you'll get way more bang for your buck, so to speak, from a low-key vinho Verde rather than a super-fizzy brut cava.
posted by Cookiebastard at 9:00 PM on October 5, 2019 [4 favorites]


I... am pretty sure I know how you know that, but I don't want to know how you know that, so I'm just going to pretend I never read this comment.

The way a lot of people in this thread know it is we read it on the internet very recently.
posted by aubilenon at 9:16 PM on October 5, 2019 [8 favorites]


I... maybe don't frequent that part of the internet and maybe don't want to?
...
Damnit link me pls.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 9:18 PM on October 5, 2019


The way a lot of people in this thread know it is we have known it since forever.
posted by zengargoyle at 9:23 PM on October 5, 2019 [3 favorites]


Sounds like it would be good chased with the new Hershey-Yuengling chocolate porter.
posted by Cash4Lead at 10:11 PM on October 5, 2019 [1 favorite]


Damnit link me pls.

Okay don't say I didn't warn you
posted by aubilenon at 10:11 PM on October 5, 2019 [20 favorites]


Just lie back and think of Scotland.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 10:13 PM on October 5, 2019 [16 favorites]


They were always mixers around here (vice peppermint schnapps or goldschlager or w/e),

Wait, what is vice peppermint schnapps?
posted by oneirodynia at 10:17 PM on October 5, 2019 [2 favorites]


Aubilenon you magnificent bastard.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 10:20 PM on October 5, 2019 [7 favorites]


God bless you, Hippybear.
posted by fatbird at 10:23 PM on October 5, 2019 [5 favorites]


What I really want are just boozy Gushers. These look too big to actually bite into and have a "pop" moment with them, or at least that biting that hard straight into the middle of it seems risky.
posted by Sequence at 10:50 PM on October 5, 2019 [5 favorites]


Oh it's not going in that end
posted by stevil at 10:57 PM on October 5, 2019


Wait, what is vice peppermint schnapps?

Presumably some kind of substitute or deputy peppermint schnapps.
posted by aubilenon at 10:57 PM on October 5, 2019 [34 favorites]


Everyone does things they probably should not when they are in their 20s.
posted by hippybear at 11:05 PM on October 5, 2019 [10 favorites]


23 ml = 0.777723 fluid oz, which is what, half of a standard shot?

This has added mixers, I guess. So not nearly as strong as a normal shot of Whisky.
posted by Akke at 12:34 AM on October 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


What I really want are just boozy Gushers.

They already make those with chocolate wrappers tho. Why downgrade to algae?

Kids are going to be smuggling these things eveywhere soon. They'll have pocket fulls of them in every movie theatre in the land. I mean, I totally would have at that age. Well except for my extreme aversion to whiskey anyway.
posted by fshgrl at 1:17 AM on October 6, 2019 [4 favorites]


Kids are going to be smuggling these things eveywhere soon. They'll have pocket fulls of them in every movie theatre in the land. I mean, I totally would have at that age. Well except for my extreme aversion to whiskey anyway.

I hate whisky and I am certain that 16 year old me would have at least an attempt at swallowing one of these things whole, in the eternal quest to get pissed faster. However, even if these were not limited edition I suspect they are going to be too expensive for the drinking teenager, compared to the fact that you can get a bottle of MD 20/20 or Buckie for not much more than a tenner.

(Checking the price of MD 20/20 I find that they now no longer make the flavour of my teenage drinking, kiwi-lemon, but do now make a blue raspberry flavour, which is 100% now going to be my next excursion into poor life choices)
posted by Vortisaur at 3:47 AM on October 6, 2019 [5 favorites]


As a Laphroig lover, I can tell you that mouthfeel, the burning down the throat, the settling in the belly flame, all of this is the experience of drinking fine single malt whisky from Scotland. What is this April Fool's joke?
posted by Mrs Potato at 3:54 AM on October 6, 2019 [6 favorites]


Forgive me, but why do people think kids will put these up their butts? Have I missed a whole category of terrible youtube videos or something?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:12 AM on October 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


For the first 10-15 seconds of the ad (which was the first thing I saw about these today), I really wasn’t grasping the size of the pods and thought they were much larger, a la school lunch milk pouches that my elementary school tried 30 years ago.
posted by noneuclidean at 4:50 AM on October 6, 2019 [4 favorites]


Forgive me, but why do people think kids will put these up their butts?

I smell a goatse sequel
posted by sugar and confetti at 4:51 AM on October 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


oh god i just realized i should add IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT GOATSE IS, GOOGLING IT IS A RISKY PROPOSITION
posted by sugar and confetti at 4:52 AM on October 6, 2019 [19 favorites]


don't. don't smell it.
posted by poffin boffin at 4:57 AM on October 6, 2019 [7 favorites]


As a Manhattan and Old Fashioned imbiber for at least four decades, I have eliminated them from the repertoire due to fashionable mixologists pumping them up with bespoke bitters and flamed rinds to the point where they smell and taste like the cologne counter at Saks. I would imagine these are mixed to death as well, and I imagine it's like swallowing a sachet of Chanel No 5.

Antifreeze was always dyed bright fluorescent green so drunk people would know not to drink it . Some rules are universal. Pass me the Maker's Mark, in the bottle please.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 5:23 AM on October 6, 2019 [11 favorites]


Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da
Whack for my daddy-o
Whack for my daddy-o
There's whiskey in the pod
D'oh!
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:26 AM on October 6, 2019 [15 favorites]


I see his thoughts were red thoughts avoided the consciousness lowering exercise known as the Kavanaugh hearings. I could have lived a longer, happier life if I never heard of ‘boofing’!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 5:33 AM on October 6, 2019


No.
posted by chasles at 5:43 AM on October 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


I... am pretty sure I know how you know that, but I don't want to know how you know that, so I'm just going to pretend I never read this comment.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis


Wine is a fermented product we've invented since your time. You know grapes? It turns out that if you mush up a whole shitload of grapes and squish alllllll the juice out of them and put the juice in a container, the sugar in the juice naturally converts to alcohol (or acetic acid if you leave it too long and notice a giant snot growing in it).
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:55 AM on October 6, 2019 [3 favorites]


As a Manhattan and Old Fashioned imbiber for at least four decades, I have eliminated them from the repertoire due to fashionable mixologists pumping them up with bespoke bitters and flamed rinds to the point where they smell and taste like the cologne counter at Saks.

Oh, gods, this. We were to have dinner out with my wife's boss and, on a whim because I had never been there, I checked the restaurant's website and noticed they had a list of cocktails. I, too, am a big Manhattan drinker, and they listed one as one of their "featured" drinks. The list of ingredients was as long as my arm, and none of them had any reason for being in a solid, simple, enjoyable Manhattan.

There's no disgrace in crafting a simple, perfect version of a classic drink using a few quality ingredients. I'm more impressed with a "mixologist" who understands and practices this than I am with one who festoons the drink with all manner of frills that ultimately distracts from what the drink is supposed to be.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:58 AM on October 6, 2019 [9 favorites]


What I really want are just boozy Gushers.
They already make those with chocolate wrappers tho. Why downgrade to algae?


No kidding. Germans can walk into any grocery store and buy Edle Tropfen candies with all kinds of liquor in them. Some of them are actually pretty good.
posted by JoeZydeco at 6:02 AM on October 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


Forgive me, but why do people think kids will put these up their butts?

They are "up the butt sized."

And kids will be kids as Eddie Murphy well knew:

Well, step aside my friend
I been doing it for years
I say, sit on down, open your eyes
And open up your ears
Say, put a tree in your butt
Put a, a bumblebee in your butt
Put a clock in your butt
Put a big rock in your butt
Say, put some fleas in your butt
Say, start to sneeze in your butt
Say, put a tin can in your butt
Put a little tiny man in your butt
Say, put a light in your butt
Say, make it bright in your butt
Say, put a TV in your butt
Say, put me in your butt
Everybody say

In your butt, put the boogie in your butt
Put, put the boogie in your butt
In your butt, put the boogie in your butt
Put, put the boogie in your butt

posted by chavenet at 6:33 AM on October 6, 2019 [4 favorites]


Antifreeze was always dyed bright fluorescent green so drunk people would know not to drink it .

Ditto paraffin (pink) and meths (purple).

That's quite some pousse-café there.
posted by Cardinal Fang at 6:40 AM on October 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


You get a glob of alcohol, then you have a nasty bit of film in your mouth. This sounds unpleasant. In a pocket, they'd stick together and possibly break. I have to use pods in my dishwasher, and moisture kind of wrecks them.

Whisky and wine are made for drinking; they taste nice, or should. Ingesting them via alternate means is stunt-drinking, which calls for cheap vodka or everclear, maybe with koolaid. Stunt drinking is bad enough, using good booze for it is performatively dickish, which does make me think of Judge Kavanaugh. In fact, I'd suggest a Glenlivet pod in the butt be named for him.

Stay classy, Glenlivet.
posted by theora55 at 6:41 AM on October 6, 2019 [7 favorites]


Ferrero have been making Mon Cheri chocolates since the 50s. My folks always had a box of them lying around. I think each of them must have thought that it was the other one eating them.
posted by Cardinal Fang at 6:44 AM on October 6, 2019 [8 favorites]


A favorite pizza restaurant of mine makes a delightful cocktail that has little boba-sized capsules like these that burst in your mouth. It's still a regular liquid cocktail served in a glass but with a boba straw so you can suck up the capsules and pop them in your mouth. I adore it.

As a small person with a small mouth, this seems way too large to enjoy even as a stunt cocktail; it would take up my entire mouth and feel uncomfortable and suffocating. I struggle eating larger pieces of sushi sometimes, but at least those I can bite in half even if I'm not "supposed" to.

That said, people seem to be overreacting a bit. 1. They are mixed cocktails, not straight whisky. 2. They are a stunt and acknowledged as such: "The limited-production pods are being served as an amuse-bouche during London's celebration of cocktail innovations, which run through October 13." I can't get any angrier about this than I do about all the weird ass shit I've had at Aviary or similar places.
posted by misskaz at 7:02 AM on October 6, 2019 [7 favorites]


IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT GOATSE IS

Get. Off. My. Lawn.
posted by thelonius at 7:35 AM on October 6, 2019 [10 favorites]


Ships were made for sinking,
Whiskey made for drinking,
If we were made of cellophane
We'd all get stinking drunk much faster

posted by Foosnark at 7:46 AM on October 6, 2019 [4 favorites]


That's quite some pousse-café there.

don't put them up there, either
posted by gaybobbie at 9:24 AM on October 6, 2019 [18 favorites]


I'm kinda curious how they work, from a materials perspective. Like, how does the alcohol/water inside them not cause them to dissolve, but apparently the relatively small amount of saliva in your mouth does? Or do you have to bite into and break them?

Anyway, they seem clever and it's not like they're going to be selling them by the dozen next to the Boone's Farm anytime soon, so I think we can dispense with thinking of the children. They're an amusement for the idle rich, not something for kids to get shitfaced off of (unless they're idle rich kids, in which case... maybe? But pretty sure idle rich kids just do coke).
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:24 AM on October 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


Stay classy, Glenlivet.

They're really leaning into their "overpriced whisky for pricks" reputation, aren't they?
posted by howfar at 9:27 AM on October 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


I'm still not convinced this isn't a very sincere-looking troll.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 9:37 AM on October 6, 2019 [5 favorites]


Problem: along with everything else associated with wealth and luxury, millennials are killing scotch.

Observation: instead of sipping scotch, millennials do goofy things like eating Tide pods

Solution: like Tide pods, only scotch
posted by acb at 9:52 AM on October 6, 2019 [7 favorites]


MetaFilter: Would prefer a suppository.
posted by Splunge at 10:10 AM on October 6, 2019 [3 favorites]


the sugar in the juice naturally converts to alcohol (or acetic acid if you leave it too long and notice a giant snot growing in it).
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace


How dare you call mother a snot!
posted by Splunge at 10:17 AM on October 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


The wonderful We Want Plates exposed the whiskey pods via a comparison to drinking wine from baby milk bottles, which apparently does happen in Paris, the epicentre of wine appreciation.
posted by asok at 10:23 AM on October 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


yeah that was both the first time in my life i ever got truly fuckin hammered and also the first time in my life i ever beheld, used, and fell into a squat toilet

paris city of lights and culture

dog bless the semester abroad
posted by poffin boffin at 10:32 AM on October 6, 2019 [7 favorites]


Two unrelated thoughts: who would want booze-filled soup dumplings--there's a reason they've never existed before, and where did the all the amoral marketers go to work after the the Joe Camel campaign slithered to a halt?

I am grateful to whoever posted this because I now have an imaginary group of people to whom I can feel superior for the next few weeks.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 10:41 AM on October 6, 2019 [3 favorites]


The package design looks really interesting, especially for what other kinds of drink/ foods/ catering novelties might be presented this way. Looks like Glenlivet is working with this company: Also see:
posted by doggerel at 12:09 PM on October 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


Two unrelated thoughts: who would want booze-filled soup dumplings-

Let's not forget about this
posted by aubilenon at 12:31 PM on October 6, 2019 [6 favorites]


Someone (lots of someones) must have thought this was a good idea. If going viral was the goal then it probably succeeded, if enhancing their reputation was the goal then this will probably have backfired horribly. A perfect example of "just because you can doesn't mean you should".

This page list the ingredients, makes them sound like aftershave pods.
posted by epo at 1:16 PM on October 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


Aubilenon that image is incredibly cursed.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 1:24 PM on October 6, 2019


MonoSol is the leading manufacturer of these packaging films and they also describe a "food grade" version of their PVOH film on their website.
posted by JoeZydeco at 2:38 PM on October 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


Alcohol enemas were a plot point on Law and Order...25 years ago?
posted by notsnot at 3:22 PM on October 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


I bet people were doing them 250 years ago.
posted by thelonius at 5:00 PM on October 6, 2019


Let's not forget about this

SAVE A BEER, SHOTGUN A CLAMATO
posted by sugar and confetti at 5:01 PM on October 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


Polyvinyl alcohol films are notoriously water soluble. At a guess, perhaps its a starch/ PVOH/ nanocellulose composite of some kind.

Pick a starch that salivary amylase can digest and the composite loses its water resistance once in contact with saliva?
posted by porpoise at 5:31 PM on October 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


For the sake of cosmological harmony, I suppose I now need to fill a whisky bottle with Tide.
posted by sourcequench at 7:58 PM on October 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


oh god i just realized i should add IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT GOATSE IS, GOOGLING IT IS A RISKY PROPOSITION

It's ok! They're fixing a gaping hole in their education.
posted by Carillon at 8:10 PM on October 6, 2019 [7 favorites]


Do these work on hand-washable synthetics? Or are they just for cottons?
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 11:42 PM on October 6, 2019


These sound absolutely disgusting and I want one very badly.


For science.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:20 AM on October 7, 2019


I was surprised at the surprise to this.

Anyone whose grandmother had brandy chocolates in the house already did this as a kid. You let the chocolate melt in your mouth, be careful not to bite, and soon enough you'll have a sugar bomb with brandy inside.

Then you simply blast your brandy capsule in your mouth, and enjoy the hard liquor. Even if as a kid you don't particularly like the taste of brandy, the taste of the forbidden fruit is so, so sweet.
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:54 AM on October 7, 2019 [5 favorites]




Forgive me, but why do people think kids will put these up their butts?

Have you met the kids?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 12:51 PM on October 7, 2019 [1 favorite]


This comment from 2010 (on the "icing" game using a hidden bottle of Smirnoff Ice) has never been more appropriate.
posted by exogenous at 1:30 PM on October 7, 2019 [1 favorite]


louche mustachio - this could probably be simulated by inserting a 27% ABV jello shot into a rectum.

Because the EtOH in the jello shot is held within a globular protein matrix, the pharmaco kinetics aren't going to be the same. Like methadone to heroin.

Increasing ABV might compensate for some of the extreme peaks, but side effects become increasingly contraindicated by, like, The Burn(inating)ing, reported by initial test subjects.

Assuming that a caecum bolus of "fun" doesn't just get shroplorted-ptththed-out immediately post insertion.
posted by porpoise at 11:25 PM on October 7, 2019


Solution: like Tide pods, only scotch

And then when they want to stop millennials drinking scotch, they'll start selling it in mayonnaise jars.
posted by Cardinal Fang at 5:05 AM on October 9, 2019


If they don't take out the mayonnaise first, that would be a pretty strong deterrent indeed
posted by aubilenon at 4:24 PM on October 9, 2019 [1 favorite]


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