“Would you like to finish it, Captain?”

October 8, 2019 10:14 PM

Gizmodo takes a deep dive in Breaking Down the Old Friends and New Secrets of Star Trek: Picard's Latest Trailer
posted by katra (59 comments total)

dont fuck it up dont fuck it up puhleeeeze do not fuck it up
posted by mwhybark at 10:29 PM on October 8, 2019 [13 favorites]

I... GODDAMNIT.

I'm going to have to pay for CBS streaming.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I want this to be good so bad.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 10:32 PM on October 8, 2019 [5 favorites]

I... used to carry Picard and Data action figures in my backpack in 1st and 2nd grade because I had no friends but if I could imagine I was on the Enterprise I was safe and loved.

These trailers are literally making me cry and I LOVED Voyager warts and all and seeing 7 is magical. The only way this could be better for me is any ties to my favorite Star Trek DS9, Cmon Dr Bashir cameo!

GOD. Please let this be good.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 10:35 PM on October 8, 2019 [32 favorites]

That digital de-aging on Spiner is...not great.
posted by Chrysostom at 12:23 AM on October 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

They digitally de-aged him? Is that confirmed? I thought he looked older, but covered in makeup to conceal most of the signs.

Anyway I love Data and I miss him and Spiner was one of the best actors in the series
posted by Chaffinch at 12:28 AM on October 9, 2019 [3 favorites]

I am very much up for dead Chakotay.
posted by biffa at 1:12 AM on October 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

Of course I'm going to watch this, but I wish we could have a story that isn't "Starfleet is secretly evil" for once.
posted by adrianhon at 2:01 AM on October 9, 2019 [7 favorites]

Of course I'm going to watch this, but I wish we could have a story that isn't "Starfleet is secretly evil" for once.

Yeah, I'm hoping that Star Fleet's refusal to help is some constitutional idealism vs. empathetic pragmatism conflict that Star Trek does so well rather than the normal "All Governments Are Evil and/or Useless" trope that's almost the default for sci fi. I want competent leadership figures, dammit.
posted by Eleven at 2:34 AM on October 9, 2019 [10 favorites]

I am very much up for dead Chakotay.

A better theory I have seen is that 7of9 is more likely cradling a dead Icheb - the oldest of the de-Borged children adopted by Voyager (He passed the Starfleet entrance exams while still in the Delta Quadrant).
posted by Paladin1138 at 2:59 AM on October 9, 2019 [5 favorites]

Reading that article has firmly convinced me that I could not possibly know enough Trek to watch this show.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:28 AM on October 9, 2019 [3 favorites]

The rumor about this show that I really don't like (rot13, natch):

Vg'f pnyyrq Fgne Gerx: Cvpneq orpnhfr gurl anzr n fuvc nsgre uvz -- Gerx fubjf bs yngr ner nyy anzrq nsgre fuvcf, abg crbcyr -- naq gung gurl qb guvf orpnhfr ur qvrf ng gur raq bs gur svefg frnfba.
posted by killdevil at 5:06 AM on October 9, 2019

Don't translate that. You won't like it.

I know you're tempted. Don't do it anyway.
posted by biffa at 5:12 AM on October 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

I did it. I didn't like it.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:29 AM on October 9, 2019 [3 favorites]

Well, now I don't feel so bad that there's no way I can afford to subscribe to the new CBS service. This ridiculous grimdark conspiracy bullshit is everything I hated about DS9, and it infected a lot of other post-TNG Trek, too. I was really hoping for something better out of this, and didn't think Stewart was into that sort of thing.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:30 AM on October 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

TNG was one of the brightest points of light in my fundie childhood, and something that I sincerely love even now that I can recognize its more problematic elements.

I think there’s a decent shot of this turning out okay specifically because Patrick Stewart has been nothing but wonderful since TNG wrapped, and the love for him by pretty much everyone who would be working on this show is almost guaranteed to be both genuine and complete. Yeah, the capacity for various IP holders to fuck up Star Trek continues to defy imagination, but I honestly think we might be okay.

TBH I’m far more afraid of what’s going to happen to Iain Banks’ utopian communism in Bezos’ hands. While the everyone-is-trans/strict-hetero-is-an-extreme-minority aspects might make the cut In 2019, I don’t trust, at all, television/streaming service writers to respect the almost-entirely-benevolent godlike AIs who enthusiastically embrace democracy & post-scarcity underpinning the whole thing. It is so incredibly important to me that for fucking once we get an intact vision of a radically liberated society in which artificial intelligence incomprehensibly beyond us is a relentless force for good and the wellbeing of all sentient life, rather than a terrifying menace. I’m mostly hoping it just gets canceled at this point.

On preview: I hope to god killdevil’s rumor is wrong, and I wish I hadn’t read that.
posted by Ryvar at 5:39 AM on October 9, 2019 [11 favorites]

It should really just be a show where he comes in from the vineyard, takes off his farming stuff and puts on a cardigan, and directly addresses Federation children with gentle songs about feelings.
posted by condour75 at 5:51 AM on October 9, 2019 [43 favorites]

I don't see Q in the trailer, what's the point?
posted by Chaffinch at 6:01 AM on October 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

Thanks killdevil, I actually don't regret decoding that - Tvir uvz n ureb'f qrngu engure guna snqvat gb veeryrinapr naq ab pybfher. Bar frnfba fhvgf zr whfg svar.
posted by Molesome at 6:21 AM on October 9, 2019 [3 favorites]

>It should really just be a show where he comes in from the vineyard, takes off his farming stuff and puts on a cardigan, and directly addresses Federation children with gentle songs about feelings.

The Captain Picard Day that the world needs.
posted by AndrewInDC at 6:30 AM on October 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

Mod note: A couple deleted. Sorry, but members have asked that people not post comments in ROT13 (or similar). FAQ.
posted by taz (staff) at 6:40 AM on October 9, 2019 [4 favorites]

Riker whirling around shocked at Picard's voice is my kink
posted by Automocar at 6:50 AM on October 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

I can’t get the trailer, but I’m holding out hope that the available on Amazon outside the US extends to Japan.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:00 AM on October 9, 2019

I can’t get the trailer, but I’m holding out hope that the available on Amazon outside the US extends to Japan.

Amazon will be distributing the show internationally in every country Prime video is available in.
posted by Automocar at 7:08 AM on October 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

If rot13 is frowned upon, there's the details tag.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 7:09 AM on October 9, 2019

I don't see Q in the trailer, what's the point?

That including him in TNG was the worst ideal Roddenberry ever had?
posted by octothorpe at 7:13 AM on October 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

Q could have been awful if done wrong, but casting John de Lancie was an utterly brilliant move and made the character much more interesting and appealing.

Though even John de Lancie couldn't fix how Voyager handled Q. Ugh.

That said, Q is best in small doses, and if he's going to appear in this at all, I'd rather it be a surprise and hopefully not until late in the season.
posted by SansPoint at 7:16 AM on October 9, 2019 [6 favorites]

My goosebumps have goosebumps. Please, please let this be good.
posted by Gray Duck at 7:30 AM on October 9, 2019

Yeah, OK.

The idea that all the latter-day Trek series are named after ships is refuted not only by some of the other current/upcoming series, but also by, you know, TNG. And the "rumor" (read: speculation) is from a YouTube video by someone calling himself "Doomcock."

posted by Halloween Jack at 7:37 AM on October 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

How I wish they'd taken the opportunity to tell a detailed story about civilians in the Trek universe. That doesn't seem likely.

I'll watch it. I'm hoping for the best. More Trek is good.
posted by eotvos at 7:40 AM on October 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

Yeah, um... how to say this?

Most YouTube Trek "personalities" are weird right-wing anti-SJW dudes that have a huge chip on their shoulder because Discovery's main character is a black woman and they just. don't. like. it! So they come up with ridiculous "theories" that have been proven to be incorrect time and time again because they want KurtzmanTrek to fail.

Just ignore all Trek rumors that originate on YouTube. There is literally zero chance it is true.
posted by Automocar at 7:46 AM on October 9, 2019 [16 favorites]

Fingers crossed that they will deal with the enslaved photonic doctors mining dilithium, that I've been waiting to be addressed since 2001.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:00 AM on October 9, 2019 [10 favorites]

The idea that all the latter-day Trek series are named after ships is refuted not only by some of the other current/upcoming series, but also by, you know, TNG.

You may well be totally right on the rumours, but, does TNG count as latter day trek ? Its closer to TOS than to today.
posted by biffa at 8:11 AM on October 9, 2019

TNG is directly adjacent to the shows that supposedly set the pattern: DS9, VOY, ENT. Excluding it is basically the Texas sharpshooter fallacy. Also,

there are many ships named after living people.

posted by Halloween Jack at 8:23 AM on October 9, 2019

Of course I will give this a shot, because Patrick Stewart / I am a huge Trek fan. I am sorta bummed tho at the progression of trailers seen so far. In interview last year (not that you can glean alot from this), Patrick Stewart said: "[Picard, the show] will be something very different but it will come to you with the same passion."

The trailers look like more "we must save The One!" type of stuff we've seen elsewhere, or headed in the direction of the action-festy things we've seen in the bulk of ST: Discovery episodes to date. (Which is not to knock all the cool ideas and characters that have been presented on Discovery, I just think that the constant explosion fest needs to stop. Also the first season was way better than the 2nd, ugh, but I digress).

Was reallllly hoping we were going to get some kind of awesome Legion style type of thing!, or more standalone episode character explorations of Picard's Brain, etc.
posted by bitterkitten at 8:23 AM on October 9, 2019

I wish we could have a story that isn't "Starfleet is secretly evil" for once.

It looks like this one is "starfleet is blatantly evil", and given the difference between how I feel about America today vs how I felt about it when TNG was on, it seems... appropriate?
posted by Jon_Evil at 8:51 AM on October 9, 2019 [3 favorites]

Is it definite that Gates McFadden isn't in? Or, was she even approached? Seems like if she was in this, she would have popped up by now.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:55 AM on October 9, 2019

She's said she wasn't approached. That could always change, of course.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:11 AM on October 9, 2019

It seems like someone's marketing dept is not up to much, since no-one has mentioned that there is a new set of Short Treks that has started coming out in the US and that one of them will be linked to the Picard show.

Don't bother looking if you're in the UK, no one has them as yet.
posted by biffa at 9:30 AM on October 9, 2019

I am confused, but I haven't been watching Discovery or any Trek since the first Chris Pine movie.

Are Picard and Discovery supposed to be set in the same timeline as the new movies?

I mean, what does that do to TNG, then? TNG didn't happen? We saw it happen, but now it didn't, it all happened in a universe without a Vulcan?

Argh.
posted by suelac at 9:38 AM on October 9, 2019

Picard and Discovery are set in the same timeline as the other TV series (the "Prime" timeline). The only part of Star Trek (2009) which happens in the Prime timeline is Spock Prime's flashback to the destruction of Romulus.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:44 AM on October 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

Are Picard and Discovery supposed to be set in the same timeline as the new movies?

No, the J.J.Abrams movies are in the "Kelvin Timeline", the shows are in the Prime Timeline.
posted by octothorpe at 9:46 AM on October 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

OK, so in this timeline, Romulus gets destroyed and Spock blips back in time, and no one ever discovers what happened to him? Huh.
posted by suelac at 9:49 AM on October 9, 2019

Ah the Vasquez Rocks, the lazy persons desert.
posted by misterpatrick at 10:00 AM on October 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

Kirk disappeared saving the Enterprise-B, presumed dead, until Picard found him in the Nexus 78 years later.

Scotty disappeared, stored in a transporter buffer for nearly 75 years, until the Enterprise-D rescued him.

So Spock follows a noble tradition by an unexplained disappearance.

More seriously, given that Spock was last known to be in the vicinity of a star that went supernova in the Prime universe, it's reasonable to assume that he's believed dead there.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:05 AM on October 9, 2019 [6 favorites]

It looks like I will need some tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
posted by os tuberoes at 10:12 AM on October 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

It's not been easy to keep Spock down, though. #katra
posted by katra at 10:15 AM on October 9, 2019 [4 favorites]

Riker whirling around shocked at Picard's voice is my kink

First he must sit by throwing a leg over the back of the chair. The ritual is important.
posted by srboisvert at 10:29 AM on October 9, 2019 [12 favorites]

Now that I think about it... are the Riker-Trois living on Earth? If so, why would they not have seen Picard in what appears to be a long time? Maybe they're living on Betazed?
posted by Automocar at 10:41 AM on October 9, 2019

Ah the Vasquez Rocks, the lazy persons desert.

Probably more "cheap" than "lazy." Or, I dunno, six to one, half dozen to the other.

AFAIK, the Imzadis are still zooming around space on the Titan. Another spinoff we were robbed of.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 2:17 PM on October 9, 2019

I would watch the heck out of Imzadis in Space.
posted by mogget at 3:21 PM on October 9, 2019

I actually appreciated and enjoyed the Vasquez Rocks nod as homage. I don't think that was an accident or laziness thing, I think it was very intentional. Further, it looks like they might not even actually be on location but using a digital matte for all or parts of it.

The rocks aren't that pretty and are pretty beat up and heavily trafficked now because they're right off the interstate and pass, so that swooping flyby shot with the bright green trees and stuff has been heavily altered because there would be a huge freeway right there and all kinds of other signs of life as we know it in 2018-2019.

Considering how storied and famous that location it's not at all unlikely more than one person has 3D scanned it with a drone long before this production was signed off on, and it wouldn't be a huge project for that level of funding and production to scan it and edit it themselves in 3D for virtual stage and matte work.

I also notice and bemoan the absence of McFadden.

And Data is supposed to look creepy and uncanny. His look in the trailer is probably more canon and "real" than the TNG version if you think about it.

I was also still hoping for more "Captain Picard sits around in a comfortable, Borg-free retirement having tea with old friends talking about old adventures and backstories." but Picard coming out of retirement with righteous indignation and fury to kick ass one more time is ok too.
posted by loquacious at 3:40 PM on October 9, 2019 [4 favorites]

My hope is that since so many of the scenes in that trailer take place on Earth, this time, for once, Vasquez Rocks is playing Vasquez Rocks.
posted by ckape at 5:01 PM on October 9, 2019 [11 favorites]

I am looking forward to this.

My greatest fear is that they will fridge Beverly for some extra Picard manpain, but I'm trusting Stewart to shoot that one down if they try.

My greatest hope is that Captain Crusher shows up at the 11th hour in the last episode to save Picard's bacon (and the day, in general).
posted by ilana at 5:17 PM on October 9, 2019 [3 favorites]

A simple application of Occam's Razor tells us that the reason it's named Star Trek: Picard is to signal to everyone that it's got Patrick Stewart. We need not make it any more complicated to adequately explain the name. The name of the show is part of the marketing of the show, not diegesis.
posted by I-Write-Essays at 5:19 PM on October 9, 2019 [5 favorites]

Goddamn we need Jonathan Frakes in an Orson Welles biopic.
posted by kirkaracha at 5:47 PM on October 9, 2019 [7 favorites]

I've seen rumors that Picard is planned for a three-season run. I'm fine with holding Crusher back until season 2 or 3.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:17 PM on October 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

kirkaracha: Yes, but only if he's dubbed by Maurice LaMarche.
posted by SansPoint at 6:19 AM on October 10, 2019 [1 favorite]

Now that I think about it... are the Riker-Trois living on Earth? If so, why would they not have seen Picard in what appears to be a long time? Maybe they're living on Betazed

Could you imagine the Betazoid heads exploding from the pure mental passion Riker clutches between his ears? I bet they bought half of Alaska to get him to leave.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:53 AM on October 10, 2019 [3 favorites]

Now that I think about it... are the Riker-Trois living on Earth?

Surely the question is "what is the actual location of the menage-a-riker-trois?"
posted by COBRA! at 11:10 AM on October 10, 2019 [3 favorites]