It’s OK to not be OK.
October 14, 2019 1:04 PM   Subscribe

Megan Devine was a psychotherapist until the summer day in 2009 when she watched her fit, healthy partner Matt drown. All her professional experience felt meaningless in the face of tragedy. She quit her practice that day, and found that real help with grief was nearly impossible to find, so she created Refuge In Grief. She offers help for those who are grieving as well as those who know someone who's grieving.
posted by Johnny Wallflower (7 comments total) 79 users marked this as a favorite
h/t drlith
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:05 PM on October 14, 2019

"Love is an additive process. Not a replacement"

posted by goalyeehah at 1:36 PM on October 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

There is a wonderful moment in the film, St. Vincent, when Bill Murray's character, having lost his wife, proclaims how he dislikes people saying to him, "I am sorry for your loss". He says what he would rather hear in a statement along the lines of, "Please, tell me a story about her"
posted by goalyeehah at 2:09 PM on October 14, 2019 [27 favorites]

Her book was an immense help in the wake of my mom's death in 2017. I should reread it now that it's been a couple years.
posted by augustimagination at 2:19 PM on October 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

She tells her story in this amazing podcast episode of the Mental Illness Happy Hour. It's one I keep going back to, just incredible.
posted by iamkimiam at 3:40 PM on October 14, 2019 [5 favorites]

This is a wonderful resource. As someone who is trying to be there properly for her (relatively new) partner who is grieving their mother, I often find myself feeling completely helpless, like all of our dates are tinged with sadness sometimes. I don't mind sad times as long as we're together, but I often feel guilty about the low mood. Seems like this is saying that's alright though.

If anyone has more resources like this, especially ones pertaining specifically to grief support in romantic relationships, please message me.
posted by leafmealone at 4:39 PM on October 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

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