The Dating App That Launched A Thousand Queer Love Stories
November 8, 2019 10:01 AM   Subscribe

IN SEARCH OF soft femmes, butch emotional laborers, power bottoms, tender genders, QTBIPOC gnc godx, switch witches, etc. Lex is a text-only dating app based on old-school personal ads. posted by storytam (16 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
I am so so so excited about this! I've been following personals for a while on IG but have been hesitant to post there because of the very public nature of it. Love that it's such a great alternative to the heavy image focus of most apps.
posted by the sockening at 10:11 AM on November 8 [1 favorite]

Seconding what @the sockening said! I've gone on a few fun dates with people I contacted through the instagram account and also got nervous about posting my own ad.
posted by wicked_sassy at 10:36 AM on November 8 [1 favorite]

I feel personally attackedseen, validated, and embraced.

I adore this. Spending more time on Metafilter this year has been an experiential reminder of how exciting text can feel compared to the stultifying (for me) semiotics that arise from constant image creation, curation, exposure, and exchange. Anything that unshackles everyday queerness from aesthetics is a yes from me, and it seems especially radical in a dating context. Very happy to now know about this; thank you storytam!
posted by youarenothere at 10:44 AM on November 8 [7 favorites]

also glad there's an app. instagram is an entire subculture unto itself, and one that seems...largely not super healthy to participate in? at least not for me. but there's all this specific instagram etiquette and then if you don't actually post on instagram because you find the whole thing a nightmare...yeah.

anyway. i will be glad to have a queer app that isn't garbage, and I am hopeful that the de-emphasis of images will keep out the worst of the unicorn hunters and dudes
posted by schadenfrau at 10:44 AM on November 8

Holy damn, I'm gonna download this right now.
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:31 AM on November 8

after I tried to get on OKCupid and it asked me my
gender identity and gave lots of options but then immediately pivoted to “do you want to be included in searches for MEN or WOMEN” and so I screamed internally and uninstalled the app this is very very welcome.

actually my first instinct after that incident was to try to take out a personal in a weird local queer monthly zine but I’m not sure if its October edition ever got to print because of punk time so this is perfect
posted by Gymnopedist at 11:48 AM on November 8 [6 favorites]

after I tried to get on OKCupid and it asked me my gender identity and gave lots of options but then immediately pivoted to “do you want to be included in searches for MEN or WOMEN” and so I screamed internally and uninstalled the app this is very very welcome.

Yeah, and one thing that I have loved about following personals on IG is seeing all the nuanced and interesting ways people describe their gender identities and sexualities. I've learned so much and it's actually given me some good keywords for describing myself!
posted by the sockening at 12:44 PM on November 8 [2 favorites]

I submitted a personal to the instagram account last year and while I didn't find lurve, I did get to talk to some cool new people, and feel a sense of a community out there. It was a fun experience, would recommend!
Will defo also be giving the app a try! One thing I liked about the instagram version was that although it did skew US-centric there was still a sizeable amount of users from round the world, I hope that's the case for the app too.

I'm not on insta any more so may have missed that the app had launched, thanks for the gay PSA!
posted by Balthamos at 1:00 PM on November 8

What app should I delete to make room for this one?
posted by Sterros at 4:57 PM on November 8

aw. as a queer guy, i got really excited by all the uses of 'queer' in this article, but apparently cis gay male queers aren't allowed on the app. *which i understand the rationale for,* but i just utterly love the concept and execution of this app and i doubt anyone will be making a clone that happens to allow cis gay men any time soon.
posted by Panthalassa at 6:09 PM on November 8 [5 favorites]

Oh shit!
I've been thinking about trying dating again, but when I consider returning to OK Cupid (which at least has space to describe my gender and note that I'm ace and things like that), my brain kind of shuts down in a fuzzy scream. I...may try this. Maybe.
Either way, I'm overwhelmingly happy it exists.
posted by kalimac at 6:53 PM on November 8

Wow. Maybe... maybe... huh. Wow.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 10:12 PM on November 8

To echo Panthalassa, while totally respecting who this is from and for, I hope it is successful enough to spawn imitators for the rest of us. Because it sounds amazing!
posted by snuffleupagus at 10:52 PM on November 8 [1 favorite]

Ah just as I decided to think about dating again!
posted by ellieBOA at 1:20 AM on November 9

Has anyone else had difficulty signing up with a phone number? I'm not getting the validation code sms :(
posted by polyhedron at 9:01 AM on November 9

I signed up ok with Instagram, but that didn't do the validation code thing.
posted by kalimac at 10:59 AM on November 9

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