Orange you glad I posted this in time for the holidays?

November 17, 2019 10:28 AM

From the Public Domain Review, a pithy piece on the art of ornamental orange peeling.
posted by Miko (11 comments total)

Metafilter: a novel and effective decoration for any Christmas or festival occasion, and is one that can be easily made if one has the time.
posted by otherchaz at 10:51 AM on November 17, 2019 [1 favorite]

“The Thing cannot be described – there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order. [...] It seemed to be a sort of monster, or symbol representing a monster, of a form which only a diseased fancy could conceive. If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of the thing.”
― H.P. Lovecraft, channelling the ornamental oranges of his youth
posted by oulipian at 10:54 AM on November 17, 2019 [9 favorites]

People got real damn bored in the Edwardian era, is my takeaway.
posted by tavella at 12:18 PM on November 17, 2019 [5 favorites]

There's only so much human-hair mourning-related art you can do, before you're desperate for the new craft hotness.
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:51 PM on November 17, 2019 [3 favorites]

JUST EAT THE DAMN ORANGES!
posted by SansPoint at 12:53 PM on November 17, 2019 [1 favorite]

pithy
I see what you did there.
posted by Daily Alice at 1:26 PM on November 17, 2019 [1 favorite]

This is an excellent task to assign a whittling non-cook to contribute in the day (hour?) before the feast. And I love the seasonal decoration that leaves no waste - all the peel scraps turn into potpourri or even marmalade, or at least compost.

Any haters better not have any goddamn decorative plastic involved in their feasts, which if you pull off you have more control over your relatives grocery supply chain and yourself than I do.
posted by clew at 2:08 PM on November 17, 2019 [1 favorite]

This is horrifying, but I know there were times and places where oranges were exotic luxuries. In fact, this was true for my father in his childhood in Yugoslavia, and he is the one who taught me how to do this. [harmlessly risqué, but might not be safe for work depending on where you work]
posted by acrasis at 3:40 PM on November 17, 2019 [6 favorites]

Fig 1 is the initial simple cut (although not just any cut); then we have several individual carving? sculpting? peeling torture twisting, varying degrees of clever ugly. But then, Fig 11-12 mark the descent into elaboration, confabulation; Fig 13 is clearly Going There. Fig 16 is the end of the line, the little room I will never leave, the voices whispering "more, more, more, we must have more" indistinguishable from a whole pile of wtf. Fig 16 is one of those images that writhes and moves and scuttles all on its own.
posted by twentyfeetof tacos at 3:46 PM on November 17, 2019 [7 favorites]

sheesh you'd think oranges grew on trees
posted by not_on_display at 11:00 PM on November 17, 2019 [1 favorite]

Hrm. I'm usually pleased enough to get the peel off in one long swirl or in one intact flower! I like the peel-person.
posted by batter_my_heart at 11:26 PM on November 17, 2019