It's beginning to look at lot like Netflix

November 24, 2019 8:50 AM

Vulture has a serious conversation about the NCRCU - the Netflix Christmas Romance Cinematic Universe - and how the The Knight Before Christmas, in which the characters watch Holiday in the Wild, fits in with other movies in the Vanessa Hudgeons-centered universe like the Princess Switch in which characters watch A Christmas Prince. Note that the NCRCU is - as far as we know - entirely separate from the HCCU.
posted by jacquilynne (21 comments total)

These are not the kind of movies I usually watch, but this Vulture article was one of the funniest things I've read in a long time! Enjoyed it a lot, thanks for posting!
posted by hippybear at 9:16 AM on November 24, 2019 [2 favorites]

I love snarky reviews of so-terrible-they're-great Netflix Christmas movies. This is great.
posted by aka burlap at 10:13 AM on November 24, 2019 [2 favorites]

Where does this all fit with the Folgers Coffee Incest Kids Cinematic Universe?
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:57 AM on November 24, 2019 [16 favorites]

*We originally mixed up the names of the fictional Netflix Christmas nations, and regret both the error and the implication that we don’t recognize their distinct Christmas sovereignty.

Principled journalism at its finest.
posted by zamboni at 11:04 AM on November 24, 2019 [7 favorites]

My wife and I were just planning when to watch THE KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS! It’s definitely going to be better than FALLING INN LOVE, right? Not that we care that much!
posted by alasdair at 11:25 AM on November 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

Watched this with my girlfriend the other night. We both agreed that it was incredibly mediocre in that highly disappointing way where you can't even relish the absurd moments. Definitely no Princess Switch! This article has somewhat redeemed the whole experience.
posted by meinvt at 11:40 AM on November 24, 2019

Bracebridge, the small town that acts as the setting for The Knight Before Christmas is likely named for the Bracebridge Hall stories by Washington Irving. These stories present a wholly made up golden age of Christmas in which the rich and poor gathered in friendly merriment, the rich opening their houses for games and clean cut celebrations with their poorer neighbors.

To use this name is to invoke stories about a good old fashioned Christmas that never actually existed... which sounds right on brand for the NCRCU.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:11 PM on November 24, 2019 [7 favorites]

I agree about the mediocrity of Knight Before Christmas. I wanted to like it so much more than I did.

It was like, they had the premise, and then ... that's all they really had. Nothing particularly interesting or crazy-sauce actually happens in the movie. Vanessa Hudgeons acts woodenly and wears ugly sweaters and nice coats. The guy changes accents every few minutes and has bad hair and also nice coats. Despite their mutual love for good coats, they have no chemistry. That's kinda it. Well, that and really a lot of conspicuous product placement.

There are two ways this kind of movie can be good. The first is if they make you cry. The second is if they're the basis for a good drinking game. There's no way you cared about any of these characters enough to cry, and if I can't think of a better drinking game than 'drink every time a brand name is lovingly framed in the shot, drink twice every time a brand name is uttered out loud', then it is just not a good Christmas movie.
posted by jacquilynne at 12:36 PM on November 24, 2019 [4 favorites]

Where does Snowmance fit into this metaverse?
posted by grumpybear69 at 1:12 PM on November 24, 2019

(This might be the only MeFi thread to get my wife to sign up.)
posted by wenestvedt at 3:22 PM on November 24, 2019 [3 favorites]

Does SNL have a lock on fake titles? Someone really should produce "Prince Santa".
posted by sammyo at 4:42 PM on November 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

I tried to write a scene from a movie in which Prince plays Santa called Prince Santa and failed. I'm sure all of you have your own personal version of this which is better anyway.
posted by hippybear at 4:52 PM on November 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

I think jacquilynne might be on to something - what if the NCRCU is just a pawn for...Big Coat?

There's a nineties/oughties vision of the future of advertising where you like something you see a character wearing, and when you pause, you can touch your wallscreen and see if it comes in blue, then buy it. If these movies are just a vague sentimental skeleton draped in visuals of lifestyle fantasy, why not go all out and have the product placement be everything in every frame?
Young Claire has just moved into her first apartment in the Big City and has a romantic Xmas there, thanks to the curiously serendipitous appearances of her building's weird old superintendent, "Mr. Tannenbaum" (Santa in disguise, natch).
The Christmas Tenant, brought to you by Target, IKEA, Uniqlo, and the Chicago Board of Tourism. Everything you see available in stores now.
posted by bartleby at 9:03 PM on November 24, 2019 [3 favorites]

Based on the previews, I do appreciate the deep dedication that The Knight Before Christmas showed towards giving the title character a completely authentic and well-researched 14th century attitude, accent, and set of beliefs.
posted by kyrademon at 1:51 AM on November 25, 2019

I think jacquilynne might be on to something - what if the NCRCU is just a pawn for...Big Coat?

I mean that could certainly explain the most baffling part of a Knight before Christmas, which is Vanessa Hudgeon's really terrible sweaters. That could just be what happens when Big Sweater doesn't pay what they owe.
posted by jacquilynne at 3:46 AM on November 25, 2019 [3 favorites]

Is no one going to even MENTION that the knight should be speaking Middle English like Chaucer? No way could anyone understand him and vice versa.
posted by bangles at 10:56 AM on November 25, 2019 [2 favorites]

Whan that Netflixxe with his shoures soote,
The prymtyme droghte hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every screyne in Christ-mass showes,
In which Vanessa Hudgens findes her beaux;
Whan Christ-mass Princes eek with their swete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre feelynges, and the yonge Knyght
Hath his halfe cours y-ronne in the nyght,
And smale orchestras maken melodye,
That playen at the filme for a flatte fe,
So Natúre in corages maketh twynges,
Thanne longen folk to goon on Netflixxe bynges.
posted by kyrademon at 1:17 PM on November 25, 2019 [17 favorites]

I am absolutely here for this.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:48 PM on November 25, 2019

Ok the guy changing accents was clearly deliberate, based on him learning from watching TV. The coat thing however. He was wearing her ex boyfriends outfits and apparently they fit him even though the ex was clearly like eight inches shorter than him.

That being said I liked the movie. I laughed and laughed and laughed.
posted by Literaryhero at 6:08 AM on December 1, 2019

Young Claire has just moved into her first apartment in the Big City and has a romantic Xmas there, thanks to the curiously serendipitous appearances of her building's weird old superintendent, "Mr. Tannenbaum" (Santa in disguise, natch).
The Christmas Tenant, brought to you by Target, IKEA, Uniqlo, and the Chicago Board of Tourism. Everything you see available in stores now.

Does anyone else remember in the theatrical release of The Truman Show, there were spots in the movie where the action was going on in the corner and most of the screen was made up of ads for the clothing and houses of Seahaven?
posted by Fukiyama at 8:31 AM on December 1, 2019

Thanks to this movie (and some indignant googling afterwards), I now know that the US mint is indeed still producing half-dollar coins. Amazing! Thanks Netflix!
posted by mosst at 6:00 AM on December 2, 2019