Dog Memes, Cat Schemes
December 26, 2019 5:03 PM Subscribe
Here Are The Best Dog Tweets Of 2019. Compare these good-natured creatures to 17 Cats Who Are Either Plotting A Murder Or World Domination. (DLBuzzFeed)
The shots of cats "plotting," if you are a cat person, are clearly cats (a) falling asleep sitting up (b) waiting patiently to be fed (c) closing their eyes at the camera person (which indicates affection and trust) or (d) just generally being doofuses. People attribute motives to cats that cats do not have, mostly because they haven't spent any time figuring out cat expressions.
The dog tweets, however, are funny.
posted by Peach at 7:10 PM on December 26, 2019 [21 favorites]
The dog tweets, however, are funny.
posted by Peach at 7:10 PM on December 26, 2019 [21 favorites]
Well looky here, Big Cat just showed up with their disinformation campaign.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:26 PM on December 26, 2019 [26 favorites]
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:26 PM on December 26, 2019 [26 favorites]
Wish I'd thought of that ambulance costume for my girl.
posted by dobbs at 9:23 PM on December 26, 2019
posted by dobbs at 9:23 PM on December 26, 2019
And having made it through only 50 of the Dog tweets...
Dogs are just the best. Pickles knows what's up with cars. Some suck. The "jumping" Pug puppy? I want to pet ALL THE DOGS!!!
posted by Windopaene at 9:24 PM on December 26, 2019
Dogs are just the best. Pickles knows what's up with cars. Some suck. The "jumping" Pug puppy? I want to pet ALL THE DOGS!!!
posted by Windopaene at 9:24 PM on December 26, 2019
A-aare there cats who aren't plotting a murder or world domination?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:18 PM on December 26, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:18 PM on December 26, 2019 [2 favorites]
They are cats, so, probably not. Throwing out bears and tigers, would you rather fight a single wolf or a single jaguar/cougar. Cats are killers. Canines decided to just be helpful and happy.
posted by Windopaene at 10:42 PM on December 26, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Windopaene at 10:42 PM on December 26, 2019 [2 favorites]
Not a cat-person here (indeed, more on team dog). But there are important cats in my life, so I have learned some of the ways of cats:
- They are territorial to a fault
- They are predators at heart
- But they are neotenous (semi-)domesticated animals and... they want their mommies (much more so than dogs, IMO)
- If you are a good cat-haver, you are their surrogate mommy and that is why they meow at you
-- because cats don't meow at other cats except to their mommies
- Cats are not particularly social, except when bonded at a young age
-- for this reason, when feral, they tend to form matrilineal groups
- A cat wants to "own" its own space
-- but will share it with a "bonded" cat (as if they are from the same matrilineal line)
-- that bonding must usually happen very early as otherwise they will view other cats as rivals to be cast out
- They will defer to to you (and, in the best cases, adore you) because you are their surrogate mommie
-- but they can also simply tolerate you as long as you give them the space they need to patrol... and food (I know several people with this kind of cat; it's not typical but it is definitely a thing)
For these reasons, introducing mature cats to each other is extremely difficult. And for the same reasons the bond between a cat and a human can be very strong, because you are its surrogate mom. A dog will typically understand its "owner" as a pack-leader (but there are also neoteny-related mom issues there too), but for a cat you are just its mom.
So, this whole idea that cats are "easy" pets because they can just kinda take care of themselves? That is not completely wrong. But a cat really craves a deep bond with its person because it wants you to be its mommy. For this reason, in some ways a cat's bond to its human is deeper than a dog's.
Cats or dogs, they are at best emotional adolescents and you just have to embrace that. They will never be responsible adults; it's on you to care for them forever.
In conclusion, yes they are little murder-kitties. But they can also be wonderful companions who will love you as much as--and even more than--you do them.
(Still team dog, but cats are awesome!)
posted by sjswitzer at 11:41 PM on December 26, 2019 [20 favorites]
- They are territorial to a fault
- They are predators at heart
- But they are neotenous (semi-)domesticated animals and... they want their mommies (much more so than dogs, IMO)
- If you are a good cat-haver, you are their surrogate mommy and that is why they meow at you
-- because cats don't meow at other cats except to their mommies
- Cats are not particularly social, except when bonded at a young age
-- for this reason, when feral, they tend to form matrilineal groups
- A cat wants to "own" its own space
-- but will share it with a "bonded" cat (as if they are from the same matrilineal line)
-- that bonding must usually happen very early as otherwise they will view other cats as rivals to be cast out
- They will defer to to you (and, in the best cases, adore you) because you are their surrogate mommie
-- but they can also simply tolerate you as long as you give them the space they need to patrol... and food (I know several people with this kind of cat; it's not typical but it is definitely a thing)
For these reasons, introducing mature cats to each other is extremely difficult. And for the same reasons the bond between a cat and a human can be very strong, because you are its surrogate mom. A dog will typically understand its "owner" as a pack-leader (but there are also neoteny-related mom issues there too), but for a cat you are just its mom.
So, this whole idea that cats are "easy" pets because they can just kinda take care of themselves? That is not completely wrong. But a cat really craves a deep bond with its person because it wants you to be its mommy. For this reason, in some ways a cat's bond to its human is deeper than a dog's.
Cats or dogs, they are at best emotional adolescents and you just have to embrace that. They will never be responsible adults; it's on you to care for them forever.
In conclusion, yes they are little murder-kitties. But they can also be wonderful companions who will love you as much as--and even more than--you do them.
(Still team dog, but cats are awesome!)
posted by sjswitzer at 11:41 PM on December 26, 2019 [20 favorites]
The shots of cats "plotting," if you are a cat person, are clearly cats (a) falling asleep sitting up (b) waiting patiently to be fed (c) closing their eyes at the camera person (which indicates affection and trust) or (d) just generally being doofuses.(e) actually planning to kill you for the entirely legitimate reason that you forced them to wear a miniature santa hat and the world needs to be protected from people like you.
posted by eotvos at 11:09 AM on December 27, 2019 [7 favorites]
Okay, this has been a persistent problem for me -
Whenever there's a listicle like this that is quoting a tweet where there is a picture, very frequently I will not see the picture, I will only see the text of the tweet. So those "top dog tweets of 2019" are showing up on my screen as a series of text boxes that read things like "My mom came into my bedroom to talk to me and saw this" or "I'm gonna pee myself this is so funny" or "this is the cutest thing I've ever seen".
Short of actually clicking on each one and going to Twitter individually, what can I do?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:14 AM on December 27, 2019
Whenever there's a listicle like this that is quoting a tweet where there is a picture, very frequently I will not see the picture, I will only see the text of the tweet. So those "top dog tweets of 2019" are showing up on my screen as a series of text boxes that read things like "My mom came into my bedroom to talk to me and saw this" or "I'm gonna pee myself this is so funny" or "this is the cutest thing I've ever seen".
Short of actually clicking on each one and going to Twitter individually, what can I do?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:14 AM on December 27, 2019
It's one of those websites where everything loads so slowly that my tablet reloads over and over instead of being able to, you know, read the thing. I have to look at them with a laptop. The dog videos are pretty funny, and worth waiting for (I'm laughing here at my desk instead of working).
posted by corvikate at 11:32 AM on December 27, 2019
posted by corvikate at 11:32 AM on December 27, 2019
I will only see the text of the tweet
Turn off your ad blocker.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 12:46 PM on December 27, 2019
Turn off your ad blocker.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 12:46 PM on December 27, 2019
I'd expected people here to be highlighting their favorites so I could agree or ignore. Now I am totally unprepared.
Maybe the dog petting the cat in a bath was the cutest.
In theory, I'm a cat person, but in real life, I have a dog that is the real life embodiment of Dog from Footrot Flats. So it's like living a comedy show, several times every single day he does something worthy of a cartoon strip. Right now he is sleeping on the sofa, and even that looks comical.
posted by mumimor at 3:01 PM on December 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
Maybe the dog petting the cat in a bath was the cutest.
In theory, I'm a cat person, but in real life, I have a dog that is the real life embodiment of Dog from Footrot Flats. So it's like living a comedy show, several times every single day he does something worthy of a cartoon strip. Right now he is sleeping on the sofa, and even that looks comical.
posted by mumimor at 3:01 PM on December 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
My tale of woe is that I can't watch cat videos with sound or my cat comes in to defend her territory and find the offending cat. I can only watch dog videos. So in that way this post is perfectly tailored to me.
I guess her master plan is that I will NEVER see a video of a cat cuter than her, thus cementing her position as My Cat.
posted by Emmy Rae at 10:43 AM on December 28, 2019 [4 favorites]
I guess her master plan is that I will NEVER see a video of a cat cuter than her, thus cementing her position as My Cat.
posted by Emmy Rae at 10:43 AM on December 28, 2019 [4 favorites]
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posted by Windopaene at 5:13 PM on December 26, 2019