This is very dumb
January 23, 2020 1:07 PM   Subscribe

 
terry jones' ghost is working his magic already
posted by lalochezia at 1:09 PM on January 23 [51 favorites]


This was already covered in the 90s.
posted by tiny frying pan at 1:10 PM on January 23 [28 favorites]


Countdown to some poor kid getting 'em stuck inside one of the bottles...
posted by mittens at 1:15 PM on January 23 [4 favorites]


Just don’t try to taste Tabasco sauce that way.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 1:19 PM on January 23 [6 favorites]


I don't have testicles. Since one can't actually taste with them, what is that actual experience like? Ignoring the claims that these guys are making about being able to taste the salt, is there something they're feeling beyond having wet balls? I have zero desire to pour soy sauce on my vulva and risk some unholy infection.
posted by acidnova at 1:19 PM on January 23 [9 favorites]


I'm strongly reminded of one of my favorite comments of all time.

Does MeFi have a "testicles" tag? if not we should.
posted by Dr. Twist at 1:20 PM on January 23 [11 favorites]


Since one can't actually taste with them, what is that actual experience like?

As the articles point out, this is a misunderstanding of a paper that noted that our bodies use taste receptors for other homostatic processes (in the case of the testes, to evaluate sperm.)
posted by NoxAeternum at 1:22 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]


Allright, someone's going to have to try this and report back to answer acidnova's question. I'd volunteer, but I'm at work, and all my soy sauce is at home.
posted by mrgoat at 1:24 PM on January 23


Ignoring the claims that these guys are making about being able to taste the salt, is there something they're feeling beyond having wet balls?

Maybe some chapping in the long-term if you really gave 'em a good brining. But honestly these innovators on TikTok are probably already making good headway on becoming the plurality of people ever to dip their balls in soy sauce and I can't claim first hand knowledge. (Also I'm a little disappointed, if also basically understanding it, that none of the featured videos involve dipping balls so much as discretely applying a little eau de soy.)
posted by cortex at 1:25 PM on January 23 [3 favorites]


That said, I do believe that Issac Hayes sang about this phenomenon...
posted by NoxAeternum at 1:25 PM on January 23 [19 favorites]


What a coincidence! I'm making stir-fry pork for dinner tonight.
posted by charred husk at 1:28 PM on January 23 [9 favorites]


The MH article makes a very nice reference to these videos as taste testes.
posted by Going To Maine at 1:30 PM on January 23 [44 favorites]


I can't think of a worse maladaptation than being able to taste your own clammy scrotum at the end of a hard day of work or sports or... anything really.

But I do wish that people could keep this thing going to see how the evo-psych clowns try to justify it.
posted by klanawa at 1:33 PM on January 23 [33 favorites]


Do people need things to do? Because I have filing.
posted by Miko at 1:35 PM on January 23 [101 favorites]


Just don’t try to taste Tabasco sauce that way.

Cock Sauce, surely.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:35 PM on January 23 [10 favorites]


I have testicles. I just put some thought to this. My guess is it would feel slightly cool, as in temperature. If i dipped them enough, it might feel wet. I can say for a fact that I would not taste anything directly through my testicles or scrotum by attempting this.

Just thought I’d share for those who do not have testicles.
posted by SoberHighland at 1:36 PM on January 23


Just don’t try to taste Tabasco sauce that way.

Not so fast. #teachthecontroversy
posted by jquinby at 1:36 PM on January 23 [17 favorites]


Do people need things to do? Because I have filing.

We have testicles at home
posted by thelonius at 1:37 PM on January 23 [9 favorites]


As an experienced researcher who generally despises the pile on of people questioning basic methodologies when people discuss published findings, I am considering their methodology and am wondering, has anyone asked them if they are licking each other's balls?
posted by biffa at 1:37 PM on January 23 [10 favorites]


This is why you never mix your wasabi with your soy sauce.
posted by InfidelZombie at 1:39 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


The kids are ball right
posted by Going To Maine at 1:40 PM on January 23 [7 favorites]


Hopefully this somehow leads to more homo eroticism. Like a TikTok meme about how male-male orgasms are truly mind blowing...you can taste the difference.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 1:40 PM on January 23 [5 favorites]


Also, if this works how come I never taste anything when my balls dip into the toilet? (Getting old sucks.)
posted by InfidelZombie at 1:41 PM on January 23 [9 favorites]


Louie from "The State" approves.
posted by haileris23 at 1:44 PM on January 23 [8 favorites]


Been doing this for years in preparation for donating my scrotum to be used as an exclusive high end change purse once I pass away.
posted by juiceCake at 1:44 PM on January 23 [4 favorites]


What a coincidence! I'm making stir-fry pork for dinner tonight.

Long pork?
posted by slimepuppy at 1:44 PM on January 23 [5 favorites]


This lead me to ask myself: What does my mouth taste like right now? Well, it tastes sort of salty, if I swish the saliva around. I guess you get used to the flavor of your own spit and unless you think about it, you don't taste anything. But once you do think about it? You are tasting what the inside of your mouth tastes like. It tastes like a mouth. Mouth flavored.

FFS, I have stuff to do.
posted by SoberHighland at 1:46 PM on January 23 [15 favorites]


Balls, in compliance with TikTok’s nudity rules, are not visible.

Boooo, TikTok, boooo.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 1:55 PM on January 23 [3 favorites]


People with testicles can be absolutely nuts.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 1:56 PM on January 23 [12 favorites]


Even if testes had taste receptors in the sense that people on TikTok are thinking they do, how would putting some soy sauce on your scrotum do anything? It's like trying to taste something with your tongue by putting it on the outside of your cheek.
posted by Dysk at 1:57 PM on January 23 [3 favorites]


I have, at times, used medicated powder on the boys. I imaging that, if they could taste, it would taste horrendous. So I am glad that they can't.
posted by Splunge at 1:57 PM on January 23


I'm disturbed. What is the average age of Tik Tok watchers? I know my nine year old and her friends watch Tik Tok highlights on YouTube, and I dont want her seeing this junk (no pun intended).
posted by kitcat at 2:00 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


You are tasting what the inside of your mouth tastes like. It tastes like a mouth. Mouth flavored.

posted by SoberHighland at 16:46 on January 23


I posit that the first half of this username is a lie
posted by solotoro at 2:04 PM on January 23 [12 favorites]


Could this lead to more homoeroticism?
Only if combined with the invisible salt shaker trick.
"Keep your tongue out, you can really taste it if you shake a lot!"
posted by bartleby at 2:06 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]


SoberHighland is just trying to distract themselves from the fact that human saliva is so toxic that it is 100% fatal; but only if swallowed in very small amounts over a long period of time.
posted by bartleby at 2:08 PM on January 23 [8 favorites]


Even if testes had taste receptors in the sense that people on TikTok are thinking they do, how would putting some soy sauce on your scrotum do anything? It's like trying to taste something with your tongue by putting it on the outside of your cheek.


They might be joking; tiktok is very pomo
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 2:09 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


What a coincidence! I'm making stir-fry pork for dinner tonight.

Not stir-fry mountain oysters?
posted by hanov3r at 2:10 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


I'm disturbed. What is the average age of Tik Tok watchers? I know my nine year old and her friends watch Tik Tok highlights on YouTube, and I dont want her seeing this junk (no pun intended).

Probably something like 13-15? It's not for 9yos
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 2:12 PM on January 23 [3 favorites]


Why soy sauce!? The ocean is plenty salty, but as far as the balls are concerned, it's just cold...
posted by Hediot at 2:14 PM on January 23 [3 favorites]




But once you do think about it? You are tasting what the inside of your mouth tastes like. It tastes like a mouth. Mouth flavored.

With apologies for the derail, this reminds me of a recording I heard years ago on a college radio station that was allegedly from the Church of the Subgenuis. It was someone giving a sermon on things like "You can't swallow your throat! What are you going to swallow it with? You can't listen to your ears! What are you going to hear them with? You can't wash soap..." And so on. Some of them didn't really stand up to closer scrutiny (e.g., a tinnitus sufferer could probably said to be hearing their ears) but the delivery was so perfect it had me laughing and I've never forgotten it. Sadly, I've never been able to find it.
posted by treepour at 2:26 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


I guess you get used to the flavor of your own spit and unless you think about it, you don't taste anything.

This reminds me of a story from the Wayside School series where all the kids in the class made ice cream that tasted like their own mouths, so each individual kid tasted nothing when eating their own ice cream but found a variety of flavors when tasting other peoples'. If I remember right, they were mostly good flavors, but there were like one or two dickheads whose ice cream tasted awful to everybody else.
posted by invitapriore at 2:29 PM on January 23 [5 favorites]


When I put DMSO on my ankle after a sprain, I could taste garlic in my mouth in a matter of seconds — and the skin of the scrotum is a lot thinner than the skin on the ankles.

But though the article claims that taste receptors in parts of the body outside of the mouth (such as the gut) do not project to the same part of the brain the taste buds on the tongue do, I'd like to see some research where people looked for such projections and didn't find them.
posted by jamjam at 2:29 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]


Can Your Testicles Taste? (TikTok Trend) (ASAP Science)...
you know he's going to try it right?
posted by zengargoyle at 2:33 PM on January 23


“Guys On TikTok Are Putting Soy Sauce On Their Testicles And Claiming They Can Taste It, So I Spoke To A Doctor”

but why did you speak to a doctor though

seems unnecessary
posted by allegedly at 2:37 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]


Is this where we suggest that they try dipping their balls into ghost pepper hot sauce next?
posted by Chuffy at 2:40 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]


Extending jamjam's point, our skin is more permeable to some molecules than others, I expect there's something that makes it into the blood and then saliva and then tastebuds. Why not soy sauce? And we wouldn't notice our own sweat resorbed, because it was mostly our insides to start with.

But come on, this is totally manageable with at least single-blind test, you could double-blind it with some noseplugs. I'm not going to, but Buzzfeed has done actual investigative journalism before. Plus also how many science fairs are there every year?!?
posted by clew at 2:43 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]


human saliva is so toxic that it is 100% fatal; but only if swallowed in very small amounts over a long period of time.

*Gulp!*
+1 for the classic George Carlin reference
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:51 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]


I once got some Ben-Gay down there. It hurt. For a long time.

Do they even make Ben-Gay anymore? What about Prell shampoo? Or Pearl Drops Tooth Polish?
posted by SoberHighland at 2:52 PM on January 23 [3 favorites]


But I do wish that people could keep this thing going to see how the evo-psych clowns try to justify it.

Back in the day, if a tiger ran after you, you might not have time to taste that snack with your mouth....
posted by HeroZero at 2:52 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]


thoughts and prayers to the poor algorithm of the chinese surveillance state that has to process thousands of these videos. rip little fella 🤧
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:54 PM on January 23 [6 favorites]


As the articles point out, this is a misunderstanding of a paper that noted that our bodies use taste receptors for other homostatic processes (in the case of the testes, to evaluate sperm.)
If you want to make dogs insanely jealous, explain this to them.
posted by b1tr0t at 2:57 PM on January 23


If testicles could taste, we would have groin flavored potato chips.
posted by CynicalKnight at 2:57 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


This reminds me of a very old joke:

Q: Why do dogs lick their balls?
A: Because they can.
posted by chavenet at 2:59 PM on January 23


Well, I for one never completely understood what Ranch is supposed to taste like.
posted by SoberHighland at 3:00 PM on January 23 [4 favorites]


Clearly the proper interpretation of the paper is boys must perform injection brining to get the soy sauce inside
posted by polymodus at 3:01 PM on January 23


While we're talking absorption, anybody know if that caffeinated bath soap works at all?
*humming Folger's jingle, shower noises* the best part of waking up, is sudsing up your junk...
posted by bartleby at 3:02 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]


Oh boy nobody steal my new startup idea of flavored underwear. Maybe I can sell it to MeUndies? UmaMeUndies?

I do have to say I'm tempted to rub some soy sauce on my balls after watching these.
posted by dis_integration at 3:02 PM on January 23 [4 favorites]


If testicles could taste, we would have groin flavored potato chips.

Doctor: "What you've got there, sir, is a clear case of Cheeto Testicles."
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:04 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]


Lmao @ "taste testes" early contender for pun of the year
posted by captain afab at 3:14 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


When I put DMSO on my ankle after a sprain, I could taste garlic in my mouth in a matter of seconds

Not only does DMSO permeate the skin, it makes the skin more permeable to other molecules. So it’s possible it could be used as a vehicle for some of the components of soy sauce to be absorbed, depending on their chemical properties. But if you tasted them at all, you would still taste them in your mouth.

For the record, I strongly advise against this experiment. Skin is designed to keep stuff out for a reason.
posted by dephlogisticated at 3:18 PM on January 23 [6 favorites]


Soy Sauce Ball Wash
posted by fluttering hellfire at 3:19 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


Oyster sauce, surely.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:29 PM on January 23 [10 favorites]


I'm pretty sure that any "flavor" of soy sauce they are getting is from smelling the stuff. Soy sauce aroma tends to be pretty expansive and strong.
posted by Scattercat at 3:29 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


Sadly, I've never been able to find it.

Treepour, I'm pretty sure that was a rant by Janor Hypercleats. I don't have a copy anymore, but I still know just about all of the words, because in undergrad, I used my time *wisely*.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 3:47 PM on January 23 [7 favorites]


Thanks for the clue palmcorder_yajna!
posted by treepour at 3:53 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


If testicles could taste, we would have cool ranch briefs and cajun chicken boxers.
posted by CynicalKnight at 3:58 PM on January 23 [4 favorites]


cool ranch briefs and pastrami boxers

2. ???
3. PROFIT!!
posted by Miko at 4:05 PM on January 23 [3 favorites]


I might believe it if they were putting DMSO on their balls, or the soy sauce contained DMSO.
posted by bz at 4:15 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


SoberHighland

Yep, yep, and yep.

I'm a bit surprised.

We now return to Mefi's regularly scheduled testicular TikTok discussion.
posted by jrochest at 4:17 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


LOL, the DMSO reference was what I left as a comment on the ASAP Science video. For a while in the 70/80's DMSO was a sort of miracle cure for some sorts of joint pain. My father had a bottle and I enjoyed dipping a finger in and being able to taste it. I always thought DMSO would be the way that Stims or whatnot from Neuromancer would work.... something dissolved and carried through the system really fast once you slapped the patch somewhere. Evidently workers using DMSO in industrial applications noticed some little effect that DMSO helped their random aches and pains in their joints.

Anyway, I can confirm that you can taste DMSO by skin contact.
posted by zengargoyle at 4:37 PM on January 23 [3 favorites]


Even if testes had taste receptors in the sense that people on TikTok are thinking they do, how would putting some soy sauce on your scrotum do anything? It's like trying to taste something with your tongue by putting it on the outside of your cheek.

I, enlightened as I am, understand how the inside of the scrotum is connected to the outside world, and the great distinction between them.

So I will syringe the soy sauce down my urethra, in order to get past the vas deferens between the outside and the inside.
posted by ambrosen at 4:42 PM on January 23 [7 favorites]


Just don’t try to taste Tabasco sauce that way.

i DONT remember why he did it but my ex did tell me about putting hot sauce on his vulva as a kid and honestly it just made me want to try it despite everything
posted by gaybobbie at 5:09 PM on January 23 [4 favorites]


Everything is fine.
posted by bongo_x at 5:12 PM on January 23


I want to talk about DMSO instead. Or pretty much anything, really. Whatever happened to DMSO? I had a housemate who was really into it for healing wounds.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:22 PM on January 23


Very interesting that you should bring up the 'carrier' property of DMSO, dephlogisticated; as I made my comment, I was actually thinking about all the 70s rumors of LSD dissolved in DMSO and then painted on doorknobs, toilet seats, and so on, but without the added stimulus of your comment I wouldn't have taken that any further.

As it turns out, some forms of Roundup are formulated with up to 3% DMSO precisely because of its penetrant plus carrier properties, and "Roundup ready" soybeans are one of the most important GM crops. And there are all kinds of claims that GM soybeans have shown high levels of Roundup residue.

Add to that the fact that DMSO is very hard to get rid of once you add it to any mixture of organic compounds and is not degraded by fermentation as far as I can tell, and maybe we have no grounds to be surprised that kids are able to taste soy sauce with their testicles.
posted by jamjam at 5:25 PM on January 23 [12 favorites]


Mid-summer in Texas is already bad enough. Don’t make it worse by making me imagine I can taste my own sweaty nutsack.

I’m just paranoid enough to think that.
posted by drivingmenuts at 5:30 PM on January 23 [5 favorites]


oh dang we should get people to try and taste Nintendo Switch cartridges with their nuts
posted by cortex at 5:34 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]


I always thought DMSO would be the way that Stims or whatnot from Neuromancer would work.... something dissolved and carried through the system really fast once you slapped the patch somewhere.

I think the first I heard of DMSO was in a reference either for Shadowrun or Cyberpunk 2020, so that checks out.
posted by Foosnark at 5:36 PM on January 23


I know of people who used DMSO and/or other compounds to produce transdermal delivery systems for designer steroids and other performance enhancing compounds.
posted by some loser at 5:41 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


all these comments and no one mentioning that on tiktok

trolling is a art
posted by GuyZero at 5:41 PM on January 23


also I once chopped thai chili pepper and then had to go to the bathroom and forgot to wash my hands BEFORE executing the operation. I recommend it!
posted by some loser at 5:45 PM on January 23


all these comments and no one mentioning

I mean honestly a lot of us are so far down the rabbit hole on metalayers of shitposting after all these years that the idea of pointing out that something that is probably performative bullshit is probably performative bullshit feels like it's just gonna slow us down on the way to the "let's eat cereal out of each other's mouths" videos which honestly feels like biggest buried lede in this whole post
posted by cortex at 6:00 PM on January 23 [11 favorites]


Most of the people in the troll farm in St. Petersburg have a dreary job they dread going to.
But the creatives love their jobs. And one of them won the office pool with this,.
posted by ocschwar at 6:10 PM on January 23 [5 favorites]


Helter Stupid. News comes from other news.
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 6:19 PM on January 23


I love tik tok.
posted by great_radio at 6:26 PM on January 23


The thing that talked me out of finding this plausible is that if you could taste things with your junk, bathing with soap would be memorably disgusting.
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:47 PM on January 23 [8 favorites]


And while I am beyond stoked not to have testicles anymore, the flavor of bathwater was never one of the issues
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:52 PM on January 23 [5 favorites]


Dipping Their Balls in Soy Sauce and Lighting Their Houses on Fire

I'm so confused - are they using some sort of flammable soy sauce??
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:58 PM on January 23 [5 favorites]


the flavor of bathwater

I loved that movie - the ending was so moving and powerful.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:05 PM on January 23 [8 favorites]


I was skeptical; but then......
posted by interogative mood at 7:34 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]


I mean honestly a lot of us are so far down the rabbit hole on metalayers of shitposting after all these years

There‘s an evo-devo theory that socialization was one of the primary evolutionary drivers of human intelligence. In order to deceive others and/or perceive the deceptions of others, humans must be able to model the minds of others, as well as model others’ models of ourselves in a recursive fashion—“I know that you know that I know you’re lying” and so forth, which requires a lot of sophisticated brainpower. One could therefore make a convincing argument that Homo sapiens has been optimized by millions of years of evolution for metacognitive shitposting. In this TED talk I will
posted by dephlogisticated at 7:35 PM on January 23 [18 favorites]


Metafilter: FFS, I have stuff to do.
posted by BlueHorse at 7:47 PM on January 23 [5 favorites]


Soy sauce has such a strong scent that a normal human being who smells it will swear they can taste it. It seems an exceptionally poor choice to test this with.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:11 PM on January 23 [3 favorites]


Clearly, we need to conduct some scientific research on this, with soy sauce alongside sodium-deficient placebos.

For that matter, will certain brands have different effects than others? Will reduced-sodium soy sauce cause diminished flavor in those who claim to taste it at all? Does it have to be fresh from the bottle, or might some ancient plastic packet of soy sauce from some Chinese takeaway that's been hiding in a kitchen drawer since 1993 prove to be a life-altering experience?

Is it JUST soy sauce? Might there be an entirely new branch of science and anatomy being born from these studies?

I imagine a lab-coated researcher dutifully applying various liquids to volunteers with a silicone basting brush, with an assistant jotting down each result...

* KIKKOMAN SOY SAUCE: Subject describes salty mouth taste after a short delay.
* ALBERTSON'S HOUSE BRAND SOY SAUCE: No effect.
* LEA & PERRINS WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE: Subject sings three arias from "Carmen." Describes having no previous knowledge of the opera.
* DUKE'S MAYONNAISE: Subject turns purple from the waist up. Second subject turns purple only on his left side. Inconclusive.
* FAMOUS DAVE'S DEVIL'S SPIT BBQ SAUCE: Subject declares "I have to go, my planet needs me" and flies away under his own power.
posted by delfin at 8:14 PM on January 23 [5 favorites]


This explains my clear preference for eurostyle Chamois Butt'r.
posted by carsonb at 9:18 PM on January 23


Get ten dipping bowls and fill half with water and half with soy sauce. Use a thermometer to ensure that they are all at room temperature. Blindfold and de-pants the subject. Select a random bowl and position where the subject’s testicles are immersed in the solution. Wait 60 seconds. Ask the subject to identify the solution and note any flavors they taste. Record their guess and if they tasted any flavor. Then wash the subject’s testicles using a wet wipe. Select another bowl and repeat the procedure until all the bowls have been tested. Post your results. Remember this is for science!
posted by interogative mood at 10:50 PM on January 23 [4 favorites]


Or just give the testicles a saltine between taste testeings to cleanse the scrotal palate.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:53 PM on January 23 [7 favorites]


Next step: Dipping balls into Tide Liquid to compare to the taste of eating Tide Pods.
posted by hydra77 at 11:05 PM on January 23


Previously on metafilter: Tiktok uses draw-canvas and audio fingerprinting to uniquely identify your device, embeds that ID in the URL of your soy-sauce ball-dipping video links, and forwards all your search terms to Facebook and China-based analytics companies.
posted by anthill at 12:45 AM on January 24 [5 favorites]


Just like the internet has given us the answer to the monkeys-and-typewriters question, it has also given us the answer to the question 'If your friends told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?'
posted by Cardinal Fang at 2:41 AM on January 24 [1 favorite]


I do have a plate of baba ganoush . . . .
posted by koolkat at 2:56 AM on January 24


This lead me to ask myself: What does my mouth taste like right now?

Have you noticed everything smells basically of nose?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:57 AM on January 24 [7 favorites]


The secret recipe for brewing Axe Body Spray has finally been leaked, I see.
posted by sugar and confetti at 3:33 AM on January 24 [6 favorites]


Ah, so I wondered when the next Tide Pods, or rainbow party, or whatever would be invented. I should have guessed it'd involve TikTok in some way since that's the new thing kids are into so therefore the Boomer condescending lies and panic about younger people making machine would include it.
posted by sotonohito at 4:12 AM on January 24


“I'm gonna kikkoman you in the nuts!” — E. Cartman (attrib.)
posted by scruss at 4:56 AM on January 24 [4 favorites]


A friend used garlic to treat plantar warts successfully. She said that a few minutes after applying fresh garlic to her foot, she could taste it. Garlic does get in the blood; that's why you can have garlic breath after a tarty, garlicky meal. Salt doesn't work that way.
posted by theora55 at 5:51 AM on January 24


Breaking news: Teenagers are idiots.
posted by freakazoid at 6:52 AM on January 24


Do people need things to do? Because I have filing.

my new filing technique is unspeakable
posted by flabdablet at 7:00 AM on January 24 [10 favorites]


I believe this was originally theorized by Louie, in 'The State', immortalized by his famous words that still haunt us today 'I WANNA DIP MY BALLS IN IT!'
posted by exparrot at 7:06 AM on January 24


My wife was asking me if I planned to try this. I'm not sure if she was seeing if I was going to test it out "for SCIENCE!!!", or assumed that because it's on the internet, I have to do it, smh.

Sadly, the least likely reason for the question is that she really wants to try some Cosmo sex tip, but only if I add some flavouring.
posted by Chuckles McLaughy du Haha, the depressed clown at 7:37 AM on January 24 [1 favorite]


hahah, the "you can taste soy sauce if you dip your balls in it" meme is pretty funny, but the fact that people are writing articles as if the soy-sauce-balldippers are dead-serious is *hilarious*
posted by 23skidoo at 7:59 AM on January 24 [3 favorites]


The joke is really on the next person who uses the soy sauce, no?
posted by aspersioncast at 9:45 AM on January 24 [1 favorite]


If you could taste soy sauce by dipping your testicles into it, wouldn't you also be able to taste, you know, testicles? Like all the time?
posted by UltraMorgnus at 10:09 AM on January 24


Or at the very least, I'd constantly have the taste of Hanes boxer-briefs in my mouth.
posted by UltraMorgnus at 10:10 AM on January 24 [1 favorite]


Mid-summer in Texas is already bad enough. Don’t make it worse by making me imagine I can taste my own sweaty nutsack.

But you won't have to worry about running out of salt for your margaritas.
posted by biffa at 10:14 AM on January 24 [1 favorite]


Back in drum corp members of our drum line would declare "I wanna dip my baaalllls in it!" and dip their balls in Gold Bond before rehearsal. I don't know if they could taste anything but copper.
posted by charred husk at 10:39 AM on January 24


If testicles could taste, oral sex would be a two-way street.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 1:29 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]


For full reciprocity people would also need to grow hair out of their taste buds
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:30 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]


Way ahead of you
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:56 PM on January 24


Greg Ace, why did I click on your link? And after I clicked why did I click again to see image results?
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 4:34 PM on January 24 [2 favorites]


Because we're all gluttons for clickbait, myself included.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:19 PM on January 24


the flavor of bathwater
I loved that movie - the ending was so moving and powerful.


I'm kicking myself for not thinking of this sooner, but: It left me drained!
I gotta come clean - my career as a movie reviewer is all washed up
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:38 PM on January 24 [3 favorites]


my career as a movie reviewer is all washed up

I've always been happy with your reviews and would be willing to plug them if that would help.
posted by flabdablet at 9:36 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]


That's so nice of you - I almost left you a ring as a reward, but I scrubbed that idea.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:55 PM on January 24


Instead, I'd be willing to shower you with praises.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:59 PM on January 24


I prefer a shampoo to a mayonnaise for that kind of thing, if it's all the same to you.
posted by flabdablet at 4:50 AM on January 25


Folks, let's try and regroup and keep the conversation more focused on *checks notes* oh right this is the balls in soy sauce balls thread isn't it
posted by cortex at 8:43 AM on January 25 [12 favorites]


I'm sorry. I should have been maintaining a healthy, respectful discussion by focusing comments on the bollocks at hand instead of indulging in tasteless puns involving other members.
posted by flabdablet at 10:20 AM on January 25


Hey, no one said anything about members!
That's what the glass of milk on the nightstand is for!
posted by bartleby at 11:52 PM on January 25 [5 favorites]


I would prefer not to.
posted by flabdablet at 1:50 AM on January 26 [3 favorites]


Also on MetaFilter: Can someone here explain what those words mean? Is there an asymmetry to the balls?
posted by ambrosen at 4:07 PM on January 26


Sure, and 'boofing' is just flatulence.
posted by bendy at 9:13 PM on January 26 [1 favorite]


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