Science was being the only black person in the program for four years.
February 17, 2020 5:27 PM Subscribe
Working In Science Was A Brutal Education. That’s Why I Left. (Brandon Taylor for Buzzfeed News.)
Science was being the only black person in the program for four years. Science was saying nothing because I was tired of being corrected about the particulars of my own experience. Science was being told that I should consider moving to the other side of town where more black people live. Science was someone suggesting that I find a church in order to find community. Science was having my hair stroked and touched. Science was being told that I was articulate. Science was watching people’s eyes widen slightly in surprise when I told them what program I was in. Science was the constant humiliation of wondering if I had justified my presence or if I had made it harder for the next black person to get admitted. Science was having to worry about that in the first place.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's Request -- frimble
This kind of stuff is why I'm glad we've started saying "BIPOC" instead of merely POC. This was not my experience in science as an East Asian. (Except the "articulate" bit. That did happen to me.) We really need to think about race with more nuance than merely "white or not white".
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 9:09 PM on February 17, 2020 [16 favorites]
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 9:09 PM on February 17, 2020 [16 favorites]
Right, my experience of science is not at all "white", but it's definitely "not-black".
posted by nicolas léonard sadi carnot at 9:36 PM on February 17, 2020 [11 favorites]
posted by nicolas léonard sadi carnot at 9:36 PM on February 17, 2020 [11 favorites]
Incredible article, thanks for posting. I'll be looking up his fiction asap.
posted by sedimentary_deer at 3:43 AM on February 18, 2020
posted by sedimentary_deer at 3:43 AM on February 18, 2020
This is awesome writing. His twitter is also worth following.
Also hard + re: different self-reported experiences in North American science between "well represented" POC (Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi and Chinese/Japanese/Korean) and other POC.
FWIW, if you read around academia and science, the agreed-upon technical (and flawed) term that "diversity in science" folks in North America is URM (Under-Represented Minorities), which usually refers to Black, Hispanic and Indigenous people. (BIPOC+Hispanic?)
posted by lalochezia at 5:08 AM on February 18, 2020 [8 favorites]
Also hard + re: different self-reported experiences in North American science between "well represented" POC (Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi and Chinese/Japanese/Korean) and other POC.
FWIW, if you read around academia and science, the agreed-upon technical (and flawed) term that "diversity in science" folks in North America is URM (Under-Represented Minorities), which usually refers to Black, Hispanic and Indigenous people. (BIPOC+Hispanic?)
posted by lalochezia at 5:08 AM on February 18, 2020 [8 favorites]
This was such a good essay. I'm looking forward to reading his book.
posted by wicked_sassy at 5:49 AM on February 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by wicked_sassy at 5:49 AM on February 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
They would mind their own business if they knew.
Good lord this line.
posted by PMdixon at 7:49 AM on February 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
Good lord this line.
posted by PMdixon at 7:49 AM on February 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
One of my labmates is the only Black student in my department that I know of. It's... I watch what he puts up with, and I shudder. I have a friend who is Latina who is not a scientist but is an academic, working on ethnography and Shinto, and I see what she deals with, and I shudder.
His assessment of his experience with science rang very, very true for me. I don't think my labmate intends to stay in academia. I don't, honestly, blame him--I think he could easily have written this piece for himself.
posted by sciatrix at 9:43 AM on February 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
His assessment of his experience with science rang very, very true for me. I don't think my labmate intends to stay in academia. I don't, honestly, blame him--I think he could easily have written this piece for himself.
posted by sciatrix at 9:43 AM on February 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
Also hard + re: different self-reported experiences in North American science between "well represented" POC (Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi and Chinese/Japanese/Korean) and other POC.
FWIW, if you read around academia and science, the agreed-upon technical (and flawed) term that "diversity in science" folks in North America is URM (Under-Represented Minorities), which usually refers to Black, Hispanic and Indigenous people. (BIPOC+Hispanic?)
Except in ecology, conservation, environmental science, and most geosciences, where really everybody who is not white is under-represented, including people from South or East Asia.
As an ecologist who teaches at a college that is 30% white, going to my professional society meetings is just culture shock.
posted by hydropsyche at 10:23 AM on February 18, 2020 [7 favorites]
FWIW, if you read around academia and science, the agreed-upon technical (and flawed) term that "diversity in science" folks in North America is URM (Under-Represented Minorities), which usually refers to Black, Hispanic and Indigenous people. (BIPOC+Hispanic?)
Except in ecology, conservation, environmental science, and most geosciences, where really everybody who is not white is under-represented, including people from South or East Asia.
As an ecologist who teaches at a college that is 30% white, going to my professional society meetings is just culture shock.
posted by hydropsyche at 10:23 AM on February 18, 2020 [7 favorites]
I think if people knew what it was that I left, then they’d know better than to ask. It would be like asking someone if they were sad to have left their home with no prospect of returning. It would be like asking someone if they were sad to have left their faith behind. It would be like asking someone if they were sad to have given up some fundamental idea about who they are. It would be like asking someone if they were sad to have watched their life burn to the ground. It would be like asking someone if they were sad to have left their family and friends.
Wow. Such writing.
posted by SLC Mom at 11:42 AM on February 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
Wow. Such writing.
posted by SLC Mom at 11:42 AM on February 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
I think if people knew what it was that I left, then they’d know better than to ask. It would be like asking someone if they were sad to have left their home with no prospect of returning. It would be like asking someone if they were sad to have left their faith behind. It would be like asking someone if they were sad to have given up some fundamental idea about who they are. It would be like asking someone if they were sad to have watched their life burn to the ground. It would be like asking someone if they were sad to have left their family and friends.
I know it sounds weird, but people really do ask those questions all the time, and one cannot presume to know the answer or the reasoning without asking. Personally, my sister's daughter burned their home down when she was a toddler (which ultimately required them to leave friends as well and move to a whole different city), and it's their family joke now. Tons of artists write about leaving their faith behind. I'd even say this article proves the point. "Sad" is like a catchall for 1000 different emotions that vary from person to person.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:19 PM on February 18, 2020
I know it sounds weird, but people really do ask those questions all the time, and one cannot presume to know the answer or the reasoning without asking. Personally, my sister's daughter burned their home down when she was a toddler (which ultimately required them to leave friends as well and move to a whole different city), and it's their family joke now. Tons of artists write about leaving their faith behind. I'd even say this article proves the point. "Sad" is like a catchall for 1000 different emotions that vary from person to person.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:19 PM on February 18, 2020
>He holds graduate degrees from the University of Wisconsin-Madison
I was glad to see that Buzzfeed added that at the end. While this behavior might have happened anywhere, I kept waiting to see some locations named. And it's not just limited by race. They will say 'science is a discipline'. But in many cases, the profession is also a good-old-boys-club. Exceptions may be made for the absurdly brilliant. Guess why.
Much of it, regrettably, rings true. OTOH, there's a lot of derogatory name-calling and generalization in this bitter reminiscing. As anywhere in life, some are wonderful people, some are 'brainy little robot people'. The same disenchantment could certainly be found in any academic field ... yes, even in (if not especially in) the humanities. In the end, scientists (like authors) are human.
posted by Twang at 2:01 PM on February 18, 2020
I was glad to see that Buzzfeed added that at the end. While this behavior might have happened anywhere, I kept waiting to see some locations named. And it's not just limited by race. They will say 'science is a discipline'. But in many cases, the profession is also a good-old-boys-club. Exceptions may be made for the absurdly brilliant. Guess why.
Much of it, regrettably, rings true. OTOH, there's a lot of derogatory name-calling and generalization in this bitter reminiscing. As anywhere in life, some are wonderful people, some are 'brainy little robot people'. The same disenchantment could certainly be found in any academic field ... yes, even in (if not especially in) the humanities. In the end, scientists (like authors) are human.
posted by Twang at 2:01 PM on February 18, 2020
Mod note: Quick public service announcement. With an essay like this, people who aren't black should take extra care -- please be mindful of the tendency to react to articles like this with kneejerk skepticism or downplaying or finding something that can be dismissed. If you find yourself doing that, please stop. It's a lot more community-minded to engage with this kind of piece in a positive way, by highlighting what you found worthwhile, illuminating, etc.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 3:04 PM on February 18, 2020 [9 favorites]
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 3:04 PM on February 18, 2020 [9 favorites]
A fine essay by Brandon Taylor about writing his novel, from Lithub
posted by mecran01 at 9:02 AM on February 22, 2020
posted by mecran01 at 9:02 AM on February 22, 2020
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