There you sit, broken-hearted / paid for shit, got outsmarted

February 25, 2020 9:12 AM

Headline-writers around the globe fired off some real beauties in 2014 when a Beverly Hills auction house put a 40-inch coprolite--that's fossilized poop--up for auction. A private collector wound up dropping a hot load of cash, to the tune of $10,370. Soon after, a nugget of doubt rose to the surface: the purportedly petrified poo-poo came from the Pacific Northwest's Wilkes Formation, known for producing mineral deposits in the form of twisty, knobbly faux-turds. Vertebrate paleontologist Andrew Farke, writing for the at the Integrative Paleontologists blog, was one of many to highlight the likely fecal fallacy.
posted by sugar and confetti (13 comments total)

Oh joy. A new member for my shit list.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 9:17 AM on February 25, 2020 [9 favorites]

VERY surprised to see that Johnny Wallflower did not post this.
posted by Fizz at 9:20 AM on February 25, 2020 [10 favorites]

This better not be a launch for Poo Month 2020....
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:21 AM on February 25, 2020 [3 favorites]

likely fecal fallacy

I hereby open the bidding for this sockpuppet name to all private collectors, sure to make a pile - first bid is in the can, do I hear a number 2?
posted by namewithoutwords at 9:27 AM on February 25, 2020 [4 favorites]

likely fecal fallacy

pretty pesky poltergeist
posted by The Tensor at 9:28 AM on February 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

+1 for the title!
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:35 AM on February 25, 2020

This better not be a launch for Poo Month 2020....

Manure March?
posted by Hairy Lobster at 10:53 AM on February 25, 2020 [4 favorites]

gastrosaurus, long departed / thought it shat, but only farted
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:55 AM on February 25, 2020 [6 favorites]

So I've always wondered:

The first verse is "Here I sit, broken-hearted. Tried to shit, only farted."

The second is "As I sit in the stinking vapor, I realize there is no paper," and the third verse goes "The bell has rung, I cannot linger. Watch out ass, here comes my finger!"

But, if you only farted, then why do you need paper to wipe, or for your naked finger to come anywhere your butthole?

These are things I think about.
posted by notsnot at 12:25 PM on February 25, 2020 [3 favorites]

That fart may have been an infamous "drizzly poot" requiring a bit of tissue. Sorta like an anal sneeze,
posted by a humble nudibranch at 12:49 PM on February 25, 2020 [2 favorites]

Sham poo? Ya don't say...
posted by lothar at 1:06 PM on February 25, 2020 [5 favorites]

And did those feces, in ancient times...
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:16 PM on February 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

drizzly poot

Yet another sockpuppet name.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:10 PM on February 25, 2020 [1 favorite]