It's a grind

March 2, 2020 7:12 AM

The minimum wage machine allows anybody to work for minimum wage.
posted by zeikka (29 comments total)

Questions, I have some: In one of the photos, someone is watching. Can people wait for a turn? If so, do they get paid when waiting? If not, then the effective wage (taking into account waiting time) is less than minimum wage. If not, how are shifts scheduled? And if they are scheduled, and more people want to work than there is time available, then not anyone can work for minimum wage, at least not for as many hours as they want to. Or if more people want to work, will more machines be made available?
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 7:33 AM on March 2, 2020 [4 favorites]

This is very cool! Now do one for prison labor.
posted by bleep at 7:44 AM on March 2, 2020

The machine can be calibrated to any wage rate, so presumably it can be set to whatever pittance prisoners get.
posted by Ampersand692 at 7:45 AM on March 2, 2020

There should be a second coin box, which is locked and you can't access, representing the value of the labor the average minimum-wage employee creates. As you'd turn the crank the coins would pile up there, far faster than the ones going to you, and periodically someone would show up and scoop the pennies out of the bin with a manure shovel and take them away.

Also that crank looks too easy to turn. It should have some resistance, and some good sharp knurling on the knob, to make it meaninglessly painful—like most minimum wage jobs.
posted by Kadin2048 at 7:58 AM on March 2, 2020 [54 favorites]

I think it's more effective if it's easy, tbh. People are always talking about how "burger flippers" and the like don't deserve more. This demonstrates that even the easiest task, at minimum wage, pays far too little.
posted by explosion at 8:03 AM on March 2, 2020 [18 favorites]

There should be a second coin box, which is locked and you can't access, representing the value of the labor the average minimum-wage employee creates.

This is great. You could tie it to the capital gains in existing markets!
posted by avalonian at 8:08 AM on March 2, 2020 [4 favorites]

Questions, I have some: In one of the photos, someone is watching. Can people wait for a turn? If so, do they get paid when waiting? If not, then the effective wage (taking into account waiting time) is less than minimum wage. If not, how are shifts scheduled? And if they are scheduled, and more people want to work than there is time available, then not anyone can work for minimum wage, at least not for as many hours as they want to. Or if more people want to work, will more machines be made available?

Welcome to the new gig economy!
posted by FishBike at 8:09 AM on March 2, 2020 [5 favorites]

Welcome to the new gig economy!

before you're allowed to turn the crank you have ten minutes to spitball C# code for a better algorithm for calculating the penny-drop-time than the machine currently uses; you're one of five hundred people who also want to turn the crank

Edit: once you start turning the crank you notice the same amount of pennies fall out no matter how fast you crank, but everybody keeps telling you you have to crank it as fast as possible or they'll just find somebody else to turn the crank
posted by AzraelBrown at 8:20 AM on March 2, 2020 [38 favorites]

It seems to be based on the Crank, a device for prisoners sentenced to Hard Labour.
posted by pipeski at 8:27 AM on March 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

I work a 70 hour week at near minimum wages (but /just/ enough above to not qualify for assistance. Thanks, Trump!) and appreciate the gesture here but for added realism there should be some occasional element of casual sexism/racism/homophobia you are scared to complain about because you can't lose this job despite hating it. Ooh! And simulating working while injured and/or ill for the same reason.

Also, my representative was part of the effort to pass the now blocked bill to raise minimum wage to $15/hour nationally. So, thanks for trying, jazākallāh sister, I truly look forward to being part of the overwhelming wave that re-elects you later this year.

EDIT:

once you start turning the crank you notice the same amount of pennies fall out no matter how fast you crank, but everybody keeps telling you you have to crank it as fast as possible or they'll just find somebody else to turn the crank

Oof, too real. Also! Despite the fact that you are already turning the fucking crank faster and/or better than everyone else there is constant pressure to dig deep and see if you can't maybe turn it a little faster.
posted by seraphine at 8:49 AM on March 2, 2020 [13 favorites]

before you're allowed to turn the crank you have ten minutes to spitball C# code for a better algorithm for calculating the penny-drop-time than the machine currently uses

Since we are calling back to the “aren’t engineering interviews just soooo hard???” recent posts: turning the crank would spew a geyser of coins that would quickly fill up the room, forcing everyone to swim in the coins, Scrooge McDuck style.

Yeah, don’t think that has the same effect.
posted by sideshow at 8:51 AM on March 2, 2020 [6 favorites]

Can people wait for a turn? If so, do they get paid when waiting? If not, then the effective wage (taking into account waiting time) is less than minimum wage.

So... realistic then.
posted by wotsac at 8:58 AM on March 2, 2020 [6 favorites]

My interviews all include a tricky dance of explaining my periods of not working while avoiding discussing how disabled I am or how watching my mother die utterly destroyed me in a way I am not remotely recovered from, together leaving me to suspect that I absolutely should not be hired for any position worth occupying.

"What do you call your act?"
Capitalism! \o/
posted by seraphine at 8:59 AM on March 2, 2020 [13 favorites]

needs more whipping
posted by chavenet at 9:00 AM on March 2, 2020 [5 favorites]

You always say that.
posted by davelog at 9:16 AM on March 2, 2020 [16 favorites]

This is very cool! Now do one for prison labor.

As long as you keep turning the crank, they don't kill you. To the naked eye it looks more or less exactly like this one.
posted by Naberius at 9:16 AM on March 2, 2020 [4 favorites]

This is a job for...
posted by ejs at 9:31 AM on March 2, 2020 [10 favorites]

The experience of operating this could have important educational value, both to scare the willies out of students who don't realise how little a minimum wage actually is, and also for politicians/legislators, who don't realise either or who don't care.

But I'm not sure how you would do so with enough sensitivity for students, and enough force for politicians.
posted by dowcrag at 9:34 AM on March 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

Any sitting politician who blocks an increase to the minimum wage should have to turn the handle non-stop for a period equivalent to their own hourly wage if paid at the prevailing minimum wage rate. For a US Senator ($174k annually not including reimbursements, charitably divided by 52 weeks a year and 40 hours a week) that would be close to 12 hours cranking. As a side-effect you may up clearing out some of the less progressive senators with underlying medical conditions.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 10:18 AM on March 2, 2020 [7 favorites]

Since we are calling back to the “aren’t engineering interviews just soooo hard???” recent posts: turning the crank would spew a geyser of coins that would quickly fill up the room, forcing everyone to swim in the coins, Scrooge McDuck style.

This works great for everyone in the room, but that's ok, because we don't personally know anyone who isn't in the room.
posted by Horkus at 10:51 AM on March 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

There should be a second coin box, which is locked and you can't access, representing the value of the labor the average minimum-wage employee creates. As you'd turn the crank the coins would pile up there, far faster than the ones going to you, and periodically someone would show up and scoop the pennies out of the bin with a manure shovel and take them away.

There was a conversation a day or so ago about how the labor theory of value is instantly obvious to anyone who pulled pints or served food and figured out they sold their hourly rate by serving two customers in an hour in which they would serve 75.

Also yes to be realistic you have to develop repetitive stress injuries from the crank, or it burns you regularly, or tells you to smile, and you have to work it even when your sick and you never know when you’re allowed to use the machine cause the automated scheduling make sure you never get enough hours to get benefits from using the machine and also they like to keep as few people working the machine as possible.

Also it takes you a full hour to get to the machine and back. Sometime the machine calls you a whore and throws food at you. And it reminds you how lucky and thankful you should be for being ALLOWED to use the machine.

Anyway if minimum wage kept up with purchasing power and was a living wage LIKE IT WAS INTENDED TO BE it would be like 35$ an hour by now. Maybe we can by ass the whole process by turning all businesses into worker owned co-operatives.
posted by The Whelk at 11:06 AM on March 2, 2020 [13 favorites]

Also that crank looks too easy to turn.

Did you see the guy in the third photo?
posted by gurple at 11:12 AM on March 2, 2020

This works great for everyone in the room, but that's ok, because we don't personally know anyone who isn't in the room.

My point is that thought experiment is not for the "poor" people who have to "suffer" through a whiteboard interview. The starting pay for a software engineer in the Bay Area with literally 0 days of experience is 15x-20x minimum wage, so this crank is not for them.

As an aside, MeFi's recent obsession with "how horrible the people making $350k per year must have it!!" is weird as hell. As a member of this cohort, I can say things are going relatively great of us, and everyone's energy is better spent elsewhere.
posted by sideshow at 11:21 AM on March 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

Maybe we can by ass the whole process

I love you, speech-to-text.
posted by axiom at 2:22 PM on March 2, 2020 [4 favorites]

My handicapped girlfriend is too short to reach the crank. Republicans declare this is working as intended, vilify and block any attempts to adjust the crank, and cut off her access to food because she is not working hard enough.
posted by Jacen at 5:51 PM on March 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

No no no!!
The front crank isn't complete unless it's attached to this.
posted by BlueHorse at 7:34 PM on March 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

Can people wait for a turn? If so, do they get paid when waiting? If not, then the effective wage (taking into account waiting time) is less than minimum wage

Like a shitty commute, or a split shift.
posted by pompomtom at 11:44 PM on March 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

Hyah!
posted by kirkaracha at 6:26 AM on March 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

If so, do they get paid when waiting? If not, then the effective wage (taking into account waiting time) is less than minimum wage

Or like working at an Apple Store, or anywhere else with off-the-clock "bag checks" or "security screens".
posted by Kadin2048 at 8:26 AM on March 3, 2020 [1 favorite]