Porn Moms
March 6, 2020 10:14 AM   Subscribe



 
good read, thank you!
posted by wellifyouinsist at 11:12 AM on March 6, 2020


WHY IS THIS SUCH A TABOO THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH CONSENSUAL SAFE SEX WORK PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY ARE INSANE ABOUT SEX AAAAAAAAAAAAGH

(ok, thanks)
posted by Melismata at 12:53 PM on March 6, 2020 [26 favorites]


We're insane about a lot of things. Why should it be so surprising that sex is a big insanity of ours? A lot of our other insanities come from (and feed back into) sex. A lot don't. Don't see us getting out of this anytime soon. (Except in individual small-scale exceptions)
posted by aleph at 1:01 PM on March 6, 2020 [2 favorites]


Porn = sex now?

No thanks.
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 1:04 PM on March 6, 2020 [3 favorites]


Porn = sex work. Porn actors are sex workers. Sex workers are a generally underprotected and unfairly stigmatized class of workers - both those on the legal end of the industry and (even more so, obviously) those on the not legal end of the industry.
posted by eviemath at 1:13 PM on March 6, 2020 [31 favorites]


This is such a weirdly unselfconscious reification of the madonna/whore dichotomy that I kind of don't know how to take it. I assume the photographer has thought about these issues, but maybe I'm giving her too much credit? Like , 'how do they balance motherhood with their work?' - idk, maybe the same way accountants/doctors/baristas do? Or 'how are they treated at school gatherings?' - does she think they're doing the school run in 6-inch heels and pasties? Just feels like a mix of naivete and prurience. (Not even getting into the improbability of a similar project on 'porn dads'...)
posted by scyllary at 1:19 PM on March 6, 2020 [9 favorites]


Considering the degree of stigma against porn performers, it seems like a perfectly reasonable question.

This article is from last week:
'Be Careful Who You Treat Like Shit': A Former Porn Star Sues Her School
Nicole Gililland alleges that her college discriminated against her for working in porn. She's hoping to set a new legal precedent for sex workers.
posted by Lexica at 1:24 PM on March 6, 2020 [23 favorites]


scyllary: I have read and heard from friends that if other parents do know that a kid's mom works in porn or similar, they (both parent and kid) can experience a fair amount of stigma and social isolation. There are plenty of people who assume that anyone who works in the sex industry can't possibly be a good parent. So having some positive representation of parents who are, eg., porn actors can be important. The focus on just mothers definitely makes in harder to balance that representation goal with the various potential ways this type of project could further contribute to various stereotypes, though, yeah.
posted by eviemath at 1:27 PM on March 6, 2020 [19 favorites]


@Lexica, @eviemath - totally fair, and I agree that the stigma is real and terrible. I think I was put off by what felt like overly simplistic framing (and I'm still squicked by the balancing motherhood question, as if sex and motherhood are somehow hard to reconcile), but if the overall effect is to improve representation then that's what matters.
posted by scyllary at 1:56 PM on March 6, 2020 [2 favorites]


I have read and heard from friends that if other parents do know that a kid's mom works in porn or similar, they (both parent and kid) can experience a fair amount of stigma and social isolation.

Ex: Sandra Otterson.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:17 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]


WHY IS THIS SUCH A TABOO THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH CONSENSUAL SAFE SEX WORK PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY ARE INSANE ABOUT SEX

People are weird about all kinds of consensual commercial activity. This has been expressed thousands of times among the enlightened tolerant souls here on MF on a nearly daily basis. Ever read the phrase, "burn it to the ground", referring to whatever evil commercial activity one is railing against that moment? Feeling so righteous as to deprive other people of their ability to make a living, to which they consent, as much as any porn actor. All to satisfy one's sense of what is wrong with consensual (non-sex) work. What would make sex work any different such that people wouldn't feel weird about it? There's no shortage of painting some guy driving for uber as a hapless victim, too dumb to know better, or too desperate to do anything else. Yet a porn actor should be presumed an empowered, sex positive example for us all.

I find it perfectly understandable that people can feel the commercialization of something as intimate as one's sexuality, particularly work such as porn, is beyond the limit to accept. And this isn't even considering any religious views that may be involved, or the reputation that the porn/sex industry has. Does anybody here truly not understand why other people might be weird about sex work?
posted by 2N2222 at 6:06 PM on March 6, 2020 [6 favorites]


I read that article about Nicole and I'm still baffled as to why all those folks had a problem with her going to nursing school. If they don't approve of porn, shouldn't they be encouraging her to take up another line of work?

Oh, wait, no, they just want to annihilate another whore. Sigh.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:07 PM on March 6, 2020 [7 favorites]


Ex: Sandra Otterson.

I googled her name plus “mother” and the results made me feel like a complete dumbass. Can anyone explain what happened to her?
posted by Countess Elena at 6:16 PM on March 6, 2020


"Are porn stars and sex workers ever allowed to do normal stuff and exist in society" isn't a topic that comes up a lot for me, but wow is it a good way to discover if alleged feminists are in fact feminists at all. I've wound up horribly disappointed in a few people I thought were better, but it's better to at least know who they are beneath their performative progressive labels.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 6:18 PM on March 6, 2020 [10 favorites]


A good documentary on Netflix is "After Porn Ends". A glimpse into the current lives of some earlier-era porn stars and what their day to day is like. Some are parents and talk about their experiences. Features classic stars like Asia Carrera, Seka, Amber Lynn, Randy West.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 6:59 PM on March 6, 2020 [5 favorites]




I googled her name plus “mother” and the results made me feel like a complete dumbass. Can anyone explain what happened to her?

The short story is, back when they were still living in Oregon, she and her husband started doing "amateur" porn and distributing it through their own website. Eventually, though, neighbors and others in the community discovered that this local mom was doing porn. They were heavily ostracized and treated pretty shittily, and eventually decided to get the hell out of there. They relocated to Arizona where they built, and continued their business in, the house in Johnny Wallflower's link.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:30 AM on March 7, 2020 [6 favorites]


I followed Lexica's link to porn star sues school and was stunned by the nursing schools prudish attitude.
A public health system requires nurses to work in sexually transmitted disease clinics, family planning clinics and work with drug addicts and other "social undesirables".
I would have thought Nurse tutors would be more worldly than this not to mention the Hippocratic oath and the responsibility to treat patients equally.
posted by Narrative_Historian at 3:08 AM on March 11, 2020 [2 favorites]


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