Chindogu: The Unuseless Inventions of Kenji Kawakami

March 12, 2020 12:53 PM

Chindogu are inventions that defy concise explanation. They aren't useful. But they aren't completely useless either. Their creator, Kenji Kawakami, describes them as "un-useless."

The 10 Tenets of Chindogu:

I. A Chindogu cannot be for real use.
II. A Chindogu must exist.
III. There must be the spirit of anarchy.
IV. Chindogu are tools for everyday life.
V. Chindogu are not for sale.
VI. Humor must be the sole reason for creating Chindogu.
VII. Chindogu is not propaganda.
VIII. Chindogu are never taboo.
IX. Chindogu cannot be patented.
X. Chindogu are without prejudice.

posted by Etrigan (24 comments total)

I personally would find onion-chopping glasses very useful.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 1:01 PM on March 12, 2020

I have onion chopping glasses. They're so effective that when I'm done chopping onions, I can take them to the pool to keep the chlorine out of my eyes.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:10 PM on March 12, 2020 [3 favorites]

Reminds me of r/UnnecessaryInventions.
posted by smcameron at 1:12 PM on March 12, 2020

Oh my god, I was obsessed with his book growing up and I am just now getting these were not real inventions. Like honest-to-god I thought this cigarette mask was an actual thing that was available to the public.

wait am i dumb?
posted by Think_Long at 1:22 PM on March 12, 2020 [7 favorites]

Some are too useless to be believable; who would ever buy a 'self portrait camera stick'?
posted by signal at 1:25 PM on March 12, 2020 [11 favorites]

The traveling breakfast table & chair combo reminds me of Edd China's driveable sofa, another lovely piece of work.
posted by w0mbat at 1:26 PM on March 12, 2020

Uh ... I ... I own that butter stick, more or less? It's called a Butter Boy. It's for buttering corn. (You cram a stick of butter in it)
posted by tocts at 1:28 PM on March 12, 2020 [3 favorites]

I think I still own a copy of this book somewhere.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 1:32 PM on March 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

Many of these inventions also appear in the music video for "Kaja Kaja Goo" by the Japanese punk/new wave band POLYSICS.
posted by Strange Interlude at 2:06 PM on March 12, 2020 [2 favorites]

The personal subway hand grip seems very appropriate for these covidly days ...
posted by mbo at 2:15 PM on March 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

Love this. British version would be Heath Robinson.
posted by alasdair at 2:52 PM on March 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

I would so buy that back-scratching grid T-shirt! D-4 is nearly impossible to reach.
posted by OHenryPacey at 2:57 PM on March 12, 2020

Had to peace out at the trypophobia pachinko ball shoes.
posted by wats at 3:15 PM on March 12, 2020

The vastly, vastly underappreciated, highly scientifically literate version of this has been around for a long time: The Inventions of Daedalus.

Just for numerological reasons there should probably be thirteen tenets of Chingdogu — I would nominate 'Chingdogu should be cute' as one of the Hidden Three Tenets.
posted by jamjam at 3:46 PM on March 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

Hrm, I think there might be... Yep, here's a previously but it's so long ago that the statute of limitations has probably expired.

I very much enjoy the whimsy of these things.
posted by Horkus at 5:21 PM on March 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

Oh wow, yeah, I had the books too as a kid! Lots of fun. I remember the early days of the web, hoping that maybe one day chindogu.com might actually have some sort of content, but it never really came.
posted by DoctorFedora at 5:29 PM on March 12, 2020

British 90s kids like me might remember this from It'll Never Work?.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 7:15 PM on March 12, 2020 [5 favorites]

A couple of things that i'm reminded of: Simone Giertz's Shitty Robots (see also), and Butter Bot from Rick and Morty.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:19 PM on March 12, 2020 [2 favorites]

Baby Mop!
posted by Windopaene at 7:55 PM on March 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

I’ve known the term chindogu and have seen several of these before, but for some reason never got that they were all from the same guy.
posted by rodlymight at 8:36 PM on March 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

Automato probably counts.
posted by flabdablet at 2:21 AM on March 13, 2020

I’ve known the term chindogu and have seen several of these before, but for some reason never got that they were all from the same guy.

Same here, I even have his book, but I had assumed he was collecting them, not that he made them all
posted by RustyBrooks at 8:10 AM on March 13, 2020

I would so buy that back-scratching grid T-shirt! D-4 is nearly impossible to reach.
Here you go.
posted by linux at 8:58 AM on March 13, 2020

Huh. I would have sworn blind that the 90s UK kids tv show that chindogu was on was How 2, but thanks to this post and rhamphorhynchus' comment I realise that I have fused How 2 and It'll Never Work into one show in my memory.
posted by Vortisaur at 5:20 PM on March 14, 2020 [1 favorite]