A Brief History of Toilet Paper
March 19, 2020 11:19 AM Subscribe
A product that is disposable has become indispensable.
Toilet paper is a relatively new invention that is still not accepted universally throughout the world, and was reluctantly adopted even in the United States.
Toilet paper is a relatively new invention that is still not accepted universally throughout the world, and was reluctantly adopted even in the United States.
In hindsight
I saw what you did there.
posted by SPrintF at 11:47 AM on March 19, 2020 [12 favorites]
I saw what you did there.
posted by SPrintF at 11:47 AM on March 19, 2020 [12 favorites]
So the Virgin Mary didn't have toilet paper or a toothbrush. All knowing, huh?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 11:55 AM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 11:55 AM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
In stock market news - Scott Tissue (KMB) touches bottom; millions wiped clean.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:10 PM on March 19, 2020 [10 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:10 PM on March 19, 2020 [10 favorites]
“ I love that I live in a world where Ingrid Bergman's daughter is making fun of Americans for not having bidets.”
posted by The Whelk at 12:28 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 12:28 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
Naomi Wu will shortly put up a video on how to add a "bum gun" a.k.a. hand-held water sprayer to your bathroom. It ain't a bidet but it also ain't hundreds of bucks and space you probably don't have. (And if your response is "oh I'd rather wipe my ass with dry paper than actually get my ass clean" then maybe think about not replying?)
posted by seanmpuckett at 12:34 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 12:34 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
So the Virgin Mary didn't have toilet paper or a toothbrush. All knowing, huh?
Well, by definition, she was immaculate.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:35 PM on March 19, 2020 [20 favorites]
Well, by definition, she was immaculate.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:35 PM on March 19, 2020 [20 favorites]
When everybody's shed is full of toilet paper, the same amount will arrive at the store each day, when all the utility closets are full of TP, the same amount will arrive at the store each day. When the space under everybody's bed is full, the same amount will arrive at the store each day.
The toilet paper supply chain is uniquely stable, and demand is flat for a given population over time, for sort of obvious reasons: here's the article from last week about it that I found reassuring.
posted by Horkus at 12:50 PM on March 19, 2020 [6 favorites]
The toilet paper supply chain is uniquely stable, and demand is flat for a given population over time, for sort of obvious reasons: here's the article from last week about it that I found reassuring.
posted by Horkus at 12:50 PM on March 19, 2020 [6 favorites]
Bidets that bolt on to existing toilets, take up no space at all and work great cost less than a hundred bucks and take about half an hour to install.
Having done so a week ago, let me tell you: it is a purely superior experience. I am not going back to not having one.
posted by mhoye at 12:54 PM on March 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
Having done so a week ago, let me tell you: it is a purely superior experience. I am not going back to not having one.
posted by mhoye at 12:54 PM on March 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
Yeah, not sure where she found about them (guessing an Instagram or podcast ad) but my wife ordered a Tushy brand bidet last year and I installed it onto our main toilet in about 20 mins. When the TP hoarding started a couple weeks ago, she ordered a second one for our guest bathroom and I put it on in like 10 mins.
I also will never go back.
posted by sideshow at 1:34 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
I also will never go back.
posted by sideshow at 1:34 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
I have a Toto Washlet and I'm never going back. Plus since you're not using extraordinary amounts of water creating paper, it's actually better for the environment.
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 1:35 PM on March 19, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 1:35 PM on March 19, 2020 [3 favorites]
The toilet paper supply chain is uniquely stable, and demand is flat for a given population over time
flattentheroll.com
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:37 PM on March 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
flattentheroll.com
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:37 PM on March 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
We have a Toto Washlet as well. It's awesome.
posted by Annabelle74 at 1:38 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Annabelle74 at 1:38 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Once you go bidet, you'll never go any other way.
posted by Hatashran at 1:49 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Hatashran at 1:49 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
I remain flabbergasted that the bidet has not become ubiquitous in the USA. We are a country of the Cootie-obsessed and germaphobes, what with our Lysol wipes, antibacterial soap, Purell, bleach cleaners, separate cutting boards (chicken as a biohazard) and whatnot. Some of us pop antibiotics meant for tropical fish at the first sign of a cold, FFS.
In Europe, I've used the low tech kind, which is a toilet-height sink that you squat over and wash in. But those take up a lot of space. If we ever get around to renovating our main bathroom (and who knows if or when THAT will happen in these trying times), we plan on having a full-function bidet.
posted by SoberHighland at 1:55 PM on March 19, 2020
In Europe, I've used the low tech kind, which is a toilet-height sink that you squat over and wash in. But those take up a lot of space. If we ever get around to renovating our main bathroom (and who knows if or when THAT will happen in these trying times), we plan on having a full-function bidet.
posted by SoberHighland at 1:55 PM on March 19, 2020
My first use for teleportation will be installing a (small) model just the other side of the exit and be done will all this forever. Or until it succumbs to some sort of internet of things disease. Or it commits suicide.
posted by maxwelton at 2:16 PM on March 19, 2020
posted by maxwelton at 2:16 PM on March 19, 2020
i prefer the old fashioned euro ones by a mile
posted by poffin boffin at 2:21 PM on March 19, 2020
posted by poffin boffin at 2:21 PM on March 19, 2020
i prefer the old fashioned euro ones by a mile
I was a tween when I first saw one of those, and I was certain that it was the weirdest urinal I'd ever seen.
posted by Dip Flash at 2:40 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
I was a tween when I first saw one of those, and I was certain that it was the weirdest urinal I'd ever seen.
posted by Dip Flash at 2:40 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
I was a tween when I first saw one of those, and I was certain that it was the weirdest urinal I'd ever seen.
OTOH, you could have mistaken it for a drinking fountain.
I have a Toto Washlet and I'm never going back. Plus since you're not using extraordinary amounts of water creating paper, it's actually better for the environment.
And it's not just the water, it's how the water is used and then dumped.
My husband is from a softwood pulp town in northern Ontario. That town has a harbour full of mercury from the pulp mill's chlor-alkali process. But since the mill went bust, the town no longer smells like a mixture of wet cardboard, chlorine, and a faint undertone of a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that is to me something like rotten sausages.
Consider me team "Let's get a bidet attachment PDQ."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:46 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
OTOH, you could have mistaken it for a drinking fountain.
I have a Toto Washlet and I'm never going back. Plus since you're not using extraordinary amounts of water creating paper, it's actually better for the environment.
And it's not just the water, it's how the water is used and then dumped.
My husband is from a softwood pulp town in northern Ontario. That town has a harbour full of mercury from the pulp mill's chlor-alkali process. But since the mill went bust, the town no longer smells like a mixture of wet cardboard, chlorine, and a faint undertone of a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that is to me something like rotten sausages.
Consider me team "Let's get a bidet attachment PDQ."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:46 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
i prefer the old fashioned euro ones by a mile
Serious question: do you need to have a separate ass-towel to use after washing in the bidet? Does everyone in the household have a separate ass-towel hanging in the bathroom? Guests? I like the idea, but either there's something I don't understand or it's ass-towels all the way down, right? At least the modern integrated bidets seem to have drying built-in as well.
posted by stopgap at 2:53 PM on March 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
Serious question: do you need to have a separate ass-towel to use after washing in the bidet? Does everyone in the household have a separate ass-towel hanging in the bathroom? Guests? I like the idea, but either there's something I don't understand or it's ass-towels all the way down, right? At least the modern integrated bidets seem to have drying built-in as well.
posted by stopgap at 2:53 PM on March 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
Lol.
You maniacs haven't figured how to use the three shells.
Smh.
posted by Groundhog Week at 3:05 PM on March 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
You maniacs haven't figured how to use the three shells.
Smh.
posted by Groundhog Week at 3:05 PM on March 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
I share stopgap's quandary.
I've used bidets in other places, where there was only a bidet and no TP, and I did not enjoy the feeling of instant swampass that resulted. I prefer my nooks-n-crannies to be dry at the conclusion of a bathroom visit.
I presume places where bidets are de rigueur have this figured out. Right? Are there really that many people proposing that it's a step forward for civilization to all be walking around with damp underwear? I feel like I'm missing something critical.
posted by Kadin2048 at 3:11 PM on March 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
I've used bidets in other places, where there was only a bidet and no TP, and I did not enjoy the feeling of instant swampass that resulted. I prefer my nooks-n-crannies to be dry at the conclusion of a bathroom visit.
I presume places where bidets are de rigueur have this figured out. Right? Are there really that many people proposing that it's a step forward for civilization to all be walking around with damp underwear? I feel like I'm missing something critical.
posted by Kadin2048 at 3:11 PM on March 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
I do not understand the euro ones at all. I’ve tried them, certainly, but I felt like I almost needed to be a gymnast. I’ve even read online tutorials. Maybe I just need to see a video, but I’m not about to search for one.
We’re remodeling our bathroom: it’s almost done, and I hope the world doesn’t end before our washlet is installed.
posted by mr_roboto at 3:11 PM on March 19, 2020
We’re remodeling our bathroom: it’s almost done, and I hope the world doesn’t end before our washlet is installed.
posted by mr_roboto at 3:11 PM on March 19, 2020
Metafilter: enjoy the feeling of instant swampass
posted by armoir from antproof case at 3:15 PM on March 19, 2020 [9 favorites]
posted by armoir from antproof case at 3:15 PM on March 19, 2020 [9 favorites]
From the video:
"...how ironic that in the modern world we find a product that is disposable to be the most indispensable."
I mean, I will take issue with this from the standpoint that it's not "ironic," but rather *understandable* that people with the means, privilege, and infrastructure to seamlessly (at least apparently seamlessly to the "end" user) flush away the thing they just used to clean their ass is totally a thing people would do.
See also "swampass."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:17 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
"...how ironic that in the modern world we find a product that is disposable to be the most indispensable."
I mean, I will take issue with this from the standpoint that it's not "ironic," but rather *understandable* that people with the means, privilege, and infrastructure to seamlessly (at least apparently seamlessly to the "end" user) flush away the thing they just used to clean their ass is totally a thing people would do.
See also "swampass."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:17 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Do bolt-on bidets spray cold water at one's nether regions? Or do you have to run power or hot water to the toilet? Is there a temperature control valve or does the water start out ice cold and proceed to scalding after a minute?
Toilet paper seems a lot safer!
posted by monotreme at 3:21 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
Toilet paper seems a lot safer!
posted by monotreme at 3:21 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
Northern Issue, in 1935, began to advertise toilet paper that was ‘splinter free’. Up until this point, it was common to have splinters in toilet roll, due to the production techniques used.
posted by sebastienbailard at 3:31 PM on March 19, 2020 [14 favorites]
posted by sebastienbailard at 3:31 PM on March 19, 2020 [14 favorites]
Yes: the bolt-on inexpensive ones use cold water. So in the winter in Chicago, it's icy cold water. I wanted to do one of those as you can get a decent one for about $50, but my wife nixed that chilly idea. I tried to convince her it'd be like a shot of espresso... a surefire wakeup in the morning. They are totally DIY. It's a splitter for the water supply hose and the devices attach just below the seat. The companies that sell 'em on Amazon even have videos showing how to do it. Very simple.
But we're holding out for a heated one. Those use electricity, and store a supply of warmed water in an insulated reservoir that has to be on all the time. It's somewhat wasteful, but I understand the new ones are pretty efficient. I'm leery about having yet one more mechanical, electric device in the house that will ultimately need to be repaired/replaced. But my wife will absolutely not allow the cold water version.
And the answer about drying your butt after use: you use toilet paper. You don't eliminate the use of all toilet paper, just most of it.
posted by SoberHighland at 3:50 PM on March 19, 2020 [3 favorites]
But we're holding out for a heated one. Those use electricity, and store a supply of warmed water in an insulated reservoir that has to be on all the time. It's somewhat wasteful, but I understand the new ones are pretty efficient. I'm leery about having yet one more mechanical, electric device in the house that will ultimately need to be repaired/replaced. But my wife will absolutely not allow the cold water version.
And the answer about drying your butt after use: you use toilet paper. You don't eliminate the use of all toilet paper, just most of it.
posted by SoberHighland at 3:50 PM on March 19, 2020 [3 favorites]
I literally installed our new Toto Washlet today. It has a heated seat as well as heated water. I've, uh, never been so excited to poop?
posted by workerant at 4:03 PM on March 19, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by workerant at 4:03 PM on March 19, 2020 [3 favorites]
The dead-simple Euro kind are cool, but they take up a lot of room. It's basically like having 2 toilets plus clearance space in a bathroom.
OK I'll type out my bidet story. My mom and dad (100% my mom's idea... I'm pretty sure my dad would be ok without indoor plumbing) got a hoopty-bidet installed just 2 months ago. They were ahead of the curve.
Here's how it works: There's a motion sensor so that when you approach, water is sprayed lightly on the inside of the bowl to help prevent solid waste from sticking. Then, when you sit on the seat, a safety is released so the spray function will work. There's a remote control (not kidding, but I think it may be helpful if you have certain disabilities) with on/off, pressure control, back and forth movement, etc. There's no-kidding like seven buttons on the thing, it's crazy. Anyway—at rest, the arm of the sprayer is kept out of the way, so when you sit, it extends under you a little. Then you do your thing, and you can have the water run on your nether regions in a variety of ways. I think there's a timer, too so it won't keep spraying indefinitely? If you were to sit up, the safety will shut off so the thing doesn't spray all over the bathroom. Anyway, the you're done, there's another process that runs water on itself to clean it, and another rinse of the bowl, and the extension arm tucks back away. Then you flush as normal.
So I happen to know about Hoopty-bidets. I "tested" it, but I did it just to try; I did not do a full #2, I just sat, peed and then tried it out. From my experience, it works REMARKABLY well. It worked better than I expected it to. Really felt targeted and seems like it would be very effective!
Another feature for disabled folks uses the motion sensor to lift the seat automatically as you approach. My folks do not have that kind. But they DO have a heated seat, which is a whole different feeling as well.
My joke was this is the first time I needed toilet training in 49 years.
Added benefit: the motion sensor detects cats, too! So now my mom's cat is kind of scared by the bathroom, because he causes the toilet to do the pre-rinse of the bowl when he gets near.
posted by SoberHighland at 4:07 PM on March 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
OK I'll type out my bidet story. My mom and dad (100% my mom's idea... I'm pretty sure my dad would be ok without indoor plumbing) got a hoopty-bidet installed just 2 months ago. They were ahead of the curve.
Here's how it works: There's a motion sensor so that when you approach, water is sprayed lightly on the inside of the bowl to help prevent solid waste from sticking. Then, when you sit on the seat, a safety is released so the spray function will work. There's a remote control (not kidding, but I think it may be helpful if you have certain disabilities) with on/off, pressure control, back and forth movement, etc. There's no-kidding like seven buttons on the thing, it's crazy. Anyway—at rest, the arm of the sprayer is kept out of the way, so when you sit, it extends under you a little. Then you do your thing, and you can have the water run on your nether regions in a variety of ways. I think there's a timer, too so it won't keep spraying indefinitely? If you were to sit up, the safety will shut off so the thing doesn't spray all over the bathroom. Anyway, the you're done, there's another process that runs water on itself to clean it, and another rinse of the bowl, and the extension arm tucks back away. Then you flush as normal.
So I happen to know about Hoopty-bidets. I "tested" it, but I did it just to try; I did not do a full #2, I just sat, peed and then tried it out. From my experience, it works REMARKABLY well. It worked better than I expected it to. Really felt targeted and seems like it would be very effective!
Another feature for disabled folks uses the motion sensor to lift the seat automatically as you approach. My folks do not have that kind. But they DO have a heated seat, which is a whole different feeling as well.
My joke was this is the first time I needed toilet training in 49 years.
Added benefit: the motion sensor detects cats, too! So now my mom's cat is kind of scared by the bathroom, because he causes the toilet to do the pre-rinse of the bowl when he gets near.
posted by SoberHighland at 4:07 PM on March 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
Tragic, because cats are the people who could most benefit from this technology.
posted by sebastienbailard at 4:13 PM on March 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by sebastienbailard at 4:13 PM on March 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
Serious question: do you need to have a separate ass-towel to use after washing in the bidet?
i have already answered this question
posted by poffin boffin at 4:15 PM on March 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
i have already answered this question
posted by poffin boffin at 4:15 PM on March 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
Indeed! I always wondered if cats wouldn't be COMPLETELY freaked out by those "self-cleaning" mechanized litter boxes. I have a feeling my old cats (RIP) would have been terrified by a thing like that.
Edit: OH YEAH... there's an air-drying feature on my folks' Hoopty bidet, too! I didn't try it though. I understand that can be especially good for older folks and issues with dryness on mucous membranes, etc.
posted by SoberHighland at 4:15 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Edit: OH YEAH... there's an air-drying feature on my folks' Hoopty bidet, too! I didn't try it though. I understand that can be especially good for older folks and issues with dryness on mucous membranes, etc.
posted by SoberHighland at 4:15 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
I know two things: Avoiding whiskey significantly reduces my badet-related needs
And "do you need a separate ass-towel" can be sung to the tune of "have you ever been mellow"
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:30 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
And "do you need a separate ass-towel" can be sung to the tune of "have you ever been mellow"
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:30 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: it's ass-towels all the way down
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:31 PM on March 19, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:31 PM on March 19, 2020 [3 favorites]
So. Why are all the bidet fans here ignoring the significant question about ass-towels? A few jokes don’t answer the question. What? Is the truth really embarrassing? Speak up now. Some of us would really like to know. Reveal the secrets of arse dehydration or forever be known as a drippy swampass.
posted by njohnson23 at 4:42 PM on March 19, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by njohnson23 at 4:42 PM on March 19, 2020 [6 favorites]
Mine has a drying fan but I suspect two or three squares of TP would be faster.
posted by workerant at 4:45 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by workerant at 4:45 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Do bolt-on bidets spray cold water at one's nether regions? Or do you have to run power or hot water to the toilet? Is there a temperature control valve or does the water start out ice cold and proceed to scalding after a minute?
Bolt-on bidets range from basic to advanced. I used to lease a fancy electronic bolt-on that had a seat warmer, could spray back and front with pressure and water temp control, and it even had a very gentle blow dryer. Now they have bolt-ons that also have UV cleaning functions, pulsing water programs, and air purifier!
The middle of the range stuff is a plethora of options and price ranges, including non-electric ones where you can run hot and cold water lines to the device, and you have a way to mix as desired.
After the lease, I ended up just buying a basic $30 bolt-on with one single dial for water pressure (like this one). I live in Southern California, so temperature is not an issue for water or seats. It's really a glorified water nozzle that can be installed into the toilet basin so it can shoot in the right angle, but it works. Maybe I'll upgrade one day.
TLDR; everyone should have a bidet; you'll make up the investment of $30 quickly enough and save far more not having to buy so much TP.
So. Why are all the bidet fans here ignoring the significant question about ass-towels? A few jokes don’t answer the question. What? Is the truth really embarrassing? Speak up now. Some of us would really like to know. Reveal the secrets of arse dehydration or forever be known as a drippy swampass.
Either your bidet is fancy and you have a dryer fan built in or you use TP. What workerant just said as I wrote that.
posted by linux at 4:46 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
Bolt-on bidets range from basic to advanced. I used to lease a fancy electronic bolt-on that had a seat warmer, could spray back and front with pressure and water temp control, and it even had a very gentle blow dryer. Now they have bolt-ons that also have UV cleaning functions, pulsing water programs, and air purifier!
The middle of the range stuff is a plethora of options and price ranges, including non-electric ones where you can run hot and cold water lines to the device, and you have a way to mix as desired.
After the lease, I ended up just buying a basic $30 bolt-on with one single dial for water pressure (like this one). I live in Southern California, so temperature is not an issue for water or seats. It's really a glorified water nozzle that can be installed into the toilet basin so it can shoot in the right angle, but it works. Maybe I'll upgrade one day.
TLDR; everyone should have a bidet; you'll make up the investment of $30 quickly enough and save far more not having to buy so much TP.
So. Why are all the bidet fans here ignoring the significant question about ass-towels? A few jokes don’t answer the question. What? Is the truth really embarrassing? Speak up now. Some of us would really like to know. Reveal the secrets of arse dehydration or forever be known as a drippy swampass.
Either your bidet is fancy and you have a dryer fan built in or you use TP. What workerant just said as I wrote that.
posted by linux at 4:46 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
I use two squares of toilet paper to pat dry. It is not rocket science. You are not forbidden from owning toilet paper if you get a bidet. I don’t understand why everyone thinks that you are. You just use a lot less toilet paper. Like a LOT less.
posted by snowmentality at 5:31 PM on March 19, 2020
posted by snowmentality at 5:31 PM on March 19, 2020
GIVE ME TOILET PAPER OR GIVE ME DEATH. IT'S THE AMERICAN WAY.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:07 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:07 PM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
GIVE ME TOILET PAPER OR GIVE ME DEATH. IT'S THE AMERICAN WAY.
Your proposal is acceptable.
posted by mhoye at 6:58 PM on March 19, 2020 [6 favorites]
Your proposal is acceptable.
posted by mhoye at 6:58 PM on March 19, 2020 [6 favorites]
I first read about bidets over 30 years ago but never had the opportunity to try one. About a year ago I bought a Brondell Swash 300 and attached it to my toilet. It cut my toilet paper consumption dramatically, but I still use a little. The heated seat and heated water are pleasant in the winter.
It was everything I had hoped it would be, though I had feared the decades had built up the anticipation to mythical levels.
posted by Radiophonic Oddity at 7:12 PM on March 19, 2020
It was everything I had hoped it would be, though I had feared the decades had built up the anticipation to mythical levels.
posted by Radiophonic Oddity at 7:12 PM on March 19, 2020
GIVE ME TOILET PAPER OR GIVE ME DEATH.
Your proposal is acceptable.
I fear you may have misconstrued my intent.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:23 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
Your proposal is acceptable.
I fear you may have misconstrued my intent.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:23 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
This is just to say
I have used
the loo rolls
that were hidden in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for after your morning coffee
Forgive me
they were amazing
so sweet
and so cold
posted by sebastienbailard at 7:41 PM on March 19, 2020 [8 favorites]
I have used
the loo rolls
that were hidden in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for after your morning coffee
Forgive me
they were amazing
so sweet
and so cold
posted by sebastienbailard at 7:41 PM on March 19, 2020 [8 favorites]
what happens to the fancy bidet attachments inside if you have what one might refer to as A Rapid Evacuation of Forces, do you just toilet brush it with bleach or does the self-cleaning function handle calamity
posted by poffin boffin at 7:50 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 7:50 PM on March 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
I hate hoarders. Wait, I'm suppose to make a joke about toilet paper. I hate hoarders. Haha.
posted by Beholder at 9:02 PM on March 19, 2020
posted by Beholder at 9:02 PM on March 19, 2020
Like poffin boffin I have wondered how all the ass splash gets cleaned off the nozzle. Not knowing the answer, I have stuck with the hand held sprayer which can be directed manually to any area needing special attention (especially nice for women). The cold water doesn't bother me but I live in a hot climate. I generally use 1 or 2 squares of toilet paper to pat dry. One roll of TP (for 2 people) lasts a little over a week even though I use a bit for drying out my ears and cleaning my electric toothbrush.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:14 AM on March 20, 2020
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:14 AM on March 20, 2020
Most seat-bidets have self-cleaning nozzles; when they retract into the housing they can spray themselves clean.
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:23 AM on March 20, 2020
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:23 AM on March 20, 2020
This whole hoarding of TP thing has been frustrating as someone who was just coming to the end of a pack when the panic started. I just want to buy my normal pack from Costco and move on, and now I have to scrounge together 6 different packages from 3 stores just to have something equivalent, and at 3 times the cost.
posted by Carillon at 11:01 AM on March 20, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by Carillon at 11:01 AM on March 20, 2020 [4 favorites]
I use a bit [of TP] for drying out my ears and cleaning my electric toothbrush.
I hope not the same bit, in that order...
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:09 AM on March 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
I hope not the same bit, in that order...
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:09 AM on March 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Cleaning a bidet attachment: the one I use has a self-rinse function. But if it gets dirty beyond the ability of the self-rinse, you can clean it yourself like the rest of the toilet bowl. This is covered in the user manual.
posted by snowmentality at 2:12 PM on March 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by snowmentality at 2:12 PM on March 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
what happens to the fancy bidet attachments inside if you have what one might refer to as A Rapid Evacuation of Forces, do you just toilet brush it with bleach or does the self-cleaning function handle calamity
On the bidet attachment I have (a Brondell Swash SE600, thanks to the kind folks at Woot!), the water nozzle extends only when in use and is otherwise retracted under the back of the seat. It also has an air drying feature and, lemme tell you, hot air drying your sparkly-clean rear entrance is far more luxurious-feeling than you might expect.
posted by hanov3r at 4:05 PM on March 20, 2020
On the bidet attachment I have (a Brondell Swash SE600, thanks to the kind folks at Woot!), the water nozzle extends only when in use and is otherwise retracted under the back of the seat. It also has an air drying feature and, lemme tell you, hot air drying your sparkly-clean rear entrance is far more luxurious-feeling than you might expect.
posted by hanov3r at 4:05 PM on March 20, 2020
I tried a bidet once and it scared me so badly that I literally screamed.
I'll stick to TP and flushable wet wipes, thanks.
posted by Jacqueline at 4:46 PM on March 20, 2020
I'll stick to TP and flushable wet wipes, thanks.
posted by Jacqueline at 4:46 PM on March 20, 2020
I'll stick to TP and flushable wet wipes, thanks.
posted by Jacqueline at 2:46 on March 21
Don't let sonascope hear you say that.
posted by myotahapea at 4:02 AM on March 21, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Jacqueline at 2:46 on March 21
Don't let sonascope hear you say that.
posted by myotahapea at 4:02 AM on March 21, 2020 [2 favorites]
just a plain bum gun
and dampass is really NBD if you truly have no way to dry.
Remember the culo is clean enough to eat off when you're done, so a small cloth that gets put in the wash is fine too,
whatever makes you comfortable.
Too many freak out way too much about this topic.
posted by goinWhereTheClimateSuitsMyClothes at 8:31 PM on March 25, 2020
and dampass is really NBD if you truly have no way to dry.
Remember the culo is clean enough to eat off when you're done, so a small cloth that gets put in the wash is fine too,
whatever makes you comfortable.
Too many freak out way too much about this topic.
posted by goinWhereTheClimateSuitsMyClothes at 8:31 PM on March 25, 2020
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I remember toilet rolls, I said to myself, wiping away a solitary tear. I'm going to make sure to stay here forever, no matter the cost.
posted by dng at 11:41 AM on March 19, 2020 [5 favorites]