45 Things That Make You A Commie
July 22, 2002 5:21 PM Subscribe
45 Things That Make You A Commie A list from 1961, by an FBI guy. Ironies aplenty.
#22, unfortunately, was a big success. Even today, people mistake "shapeless, awkward and meaningless forms" for real art.
posted by dagny at 5:35 PM on July 22, 2002
posted by dagny at 5:35 PM on July 22, 2002
By the way, this list is bullshit. Not only is it from Newsmax, which makes it automatically suspect, but it there are examples of old school, wacko, Larouche-type rightie terminology throughout. This is an early piece of agitprop. One example:
27. Infiltrate the churches and replace revealed religion with "social" religion. Discredit the Bible and emphasize the need for intellectual maturity which does not need a "religious crutch."
The only people who refer to Monotheistic relighion as "revealed" religion are the evangelistic folk who believe it to be just that. I doubt some party honcho or gubment official (from either side) would choose that particular word.
There are other examples, but I hardly think it necessary to go into much more detail.
posted by Optamystic at 5:52 PM on July 22, 2002
27. Infiltrate the churches and replace revealed religion with "social" religion. Discredit the Bible and emphasize the need for intellectual maturity which does not need a "religious crutch."
The only people who refer to Monotheistic relighion as "revealed" religion are the evangelistic folk who believe it to be just that. I doubt some party honcho or gubment official (from either side) would choose that particular word.
There are other examples, but I hardly think it necessary to go into much more detail.
posted by Optamystic at 5:52 PM on July 22, 2002
Regardless rather or not this "list" is genuine--something actually produced by an "FBI agent"--I still find it "very" interesting. Particularly "entertaining" was the creative and "emphatic" use of "quotation marks".
I could just picture someone reading this list aloud and making those little finger quotation marks in the air each time the document contained quotes. I was reading to punch that someone by item 25 or so.
posted by mr_roboto at 6:18 PM on July 22, 2002
I could just picture someone reading this list aloud and making those little finger quotation marks in the air each time the document contained quotes. I was reading to punch that someone by item 25 or so.
posted by mr_roboto at 6:18 PM on July 22, 2002
Damn! I KNOW there's a copy of "The Naked Communist" at Mom's house -- because as a kid I remember how amused my dad was when he moved all the books during a thunderstorm (leaky roof) and then refiled "The Naked Communist" next to "The Naked Ape" and "Naked Came the Stranger".
I'll hafta track that down. Thanks for unwittingly dredging up a fond old memory.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:32 PM on July 22, 2002
I'll hafta track that down. Thanks for unwittingly dredging up a fond old memory.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:32 PM on July 22, 2002
45 Things That Make You A Commie A list from 1961 ...
Wow ... look how far we've come in 40 years. We've whittled the list down to "one". Now, all you gotta do to qualify is to question any of the civil liberty rollbacks proposed to fight terrorism.
posted by RavinDave at 6:37 PM on July 22, 2002
Wow ... look how far we've come in 40 years. We've whittled the list down to "one". Now, all you gotta do to qualify is to question any of the civil liberty rollbacks proposed to fight terrorism.
posted by RavinDave at 6:37 PM on July 22, 2002
I had too hard a time getting past the ad with the picture of Ronald Regan that kept saying "Honor Him - Click Here."
Jebus.
posted by RakDaddy at 7:24 PM on July 22, 2002
Jebus.
posted by RakDaddy at 7:24 PM on July 22, 2002
A little research shows that the author of this little piece has quite an interesting background. It turns out that W. Cleon Skousen was communications director at the FBI for 16 years. He was also a full professor of ancient scripture at BYU, where he was nominated as one of the top 10 BYU professors of the 20th century. He has also produced, scarily enough, a civics curriculum, among other assorted works. See his official site.
What I've read about him suggests that he is one of the old-school far right wingnuts. He is a die hard Mormon, and refuses to separate his religion from his view of proper government. At one point in one of his books he suggests that the slaveholders in pre-Civil War America were victims of a quasi-communist conspiracy. Hmmm.
Perhaps the scariest thing is the number of supporters he has. He continues to make a substantial income from speaking engagements, as well as hawking his numerous books and audio tapes. His books, if you follow the link above, routinely get very positive reviews at Amazon, with only a few dissenters. That'll teach you to trust reviews.
I'm going to file him next to, or rather, on the right of, Pat Buchanan and the Promise Keepers.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 7:50 PM on July 22, 2002
What I've read about him suggests that he is one of the old-school far right wingnuts. He is a die hard Mormon, and refuses to separate his religion from his view of proper government. At one point in one of his books he suggests that the slaveholders in pre-Civil War America were victims of a quasi-communist conspiracy. Hmmm.
Perhaps the scariest thing is the number of supporters he has. He continues to make a substantial income from speaking engagements, as well as hawking his numerous books and audio tapes. His books, if you follow the link above, routinely get very positive reviews at Amazon, with only a few dissenters. That'll teach you to trust reviews.
I'm going to file him next to, or rather, on the right of, Pat Buchanan and the Promise Keepers.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 7:50 PM on July 22, 2002
I'm confused. This communist "agenda" looks exactly like the one Rev. Falwell told me was the homosaxual "agenda." Which is it?
posted by straight at 8:13 PM on July 22, 2002
posted by straight at 8:13 PM on July 22, 2002
17. Get control of the schools. Use them as transmission belts for socialism and current Communist propaganda. Soften the curriculum. Get control of "teacher" associations. Put the party line in textbooks.
Check.
18. Gain control of all student newspapers.
Double check.
20. Infiltrate the press. Get control of book review assignments, editorial writing, policy-making positions.
Well, we've got the major networks, except Fox News. Oh, and we've had NPR for years, so, Check!
23. Control art critics and directors of museums. "Plan is to promote ugliness, repulsive, meaningless art."
Did you see this year's Whitney Biennial? Check-er-roo!
26. Present homosexuality, degeneracy and promiscuity as "normal, natural, healthy."
Vladimir, when you're done down there, will you hand me the pencil I dropped? I need to put a check next to... oh, yeah, that's it! Oh...
28. Eliminate prayer or any phase of religious expression in the schools on the grounds that it violates the principle of "Separation of Church and State."
Get onto the 9th circuit and tell them to keep fighting... Check!
Wow, we've come a long way, haven't we Karl. Karl? Karl?
posted by evanizer at 8:50 PM on July 22, 2002
Check.
18. Gain control of all student newspapers.
Double check.
20. Infiltrate the press. Get control of book review assignments, editorial writing, policy-making positions.
Well, we've got the major networks, except Fox News. Oh, and we've had NPR for years, so, Check!
23. Control art critics and directors of museums. "Plan is to promote ugliness, repulsive, meaningless art."
Did you see this year's Whitney Biennial? Check-er-roo!
26. Present homosexuality, degeneracy and promiscuity as "normal, natural, healthy."
Vladimir, when you're done down there, will you hand me the pencil I dropped? I need to put a check next to... oh, yeah, that's it! Oh...
28. Eliminate prayer or any phase of religious expression in the schools on the grounds that it violates the principle of "Separation of Church and State."
Get onto the 9th circuit and tell them to keep fighting... Check!
Wow, we've come a long way, haven't we Karl. Karl? Karl?
posted by evanizer at 8:50 PM on July 22, 2002
Wasn't there also something about only eating oysters in months with "r" in their names? Because of the Red Tide?
posted by LeLiLo at 8:50 PM on July 22, 2002
posted by LeLiLo at 8:50 PM on July 22, 2002
This communist "agenda" looks exactly like the one Rev. Falwell told me was the homosaxual "agenda." Which is it?
Clearly, it's the communosexual agenda. Carried out by swingers and suchlike, don'tcha know.
posted by thomas j wise at 8:52 PM on July 22, 2002
Clearly, it's the communosexual agenda. Carried out by swingers and suchlike, don'tcha know.
posted by thomas j wise at 8:52 PM on July 22, 2002
....the homosaxual "agenda."
As opposed to the altosaxual agenda and the tenorsaxual agenda?
posted by jonmc at 8:59 PM on July 22, 2002
As opposed to the altosaxual agenda and the tenorsaxual agenda?
posted by jonmc at 8:59 PM on July 22, 2002
Clearly, it's the communosexual agenda. Carried out by swingers and suchlike, don'tcha know.
Mefi: The communosexual agenda.
posted by Neale at 9:00 PM on July 22, 2002
Mefi: The communosexual agenda.
posted by Neale at 9:00 PM on July 22, 2002
24. Eliminate laws governing obscenity by calling them "censorship" and violation of free speech and free press.
Shit. Am I a communist?
Seriously, this list is bullshit-- I mean, this could be a primer for any group looking to gain power in the United States. Just slap on the name of your favorite target group and decry them as "un-American". That is, if they don't #34: "Eliminate the House Committee on Un-American Activities."
I liked this, though, from #41: "Attribute prejudices . . . to suppressive influence of parents." Um, isn't that usually where they come from? Parents influencing their kids' prejudices... if we accept that idea, the Communists have already won.
posted by nath at 10:13 PM on July 22, 2002
Shit. Am I a communist?
Seriously, this list is bullshit-- I mean, this could be a primer for any group looking to gain power in the United States. Just slap on the name of your favorite target group and decry them as "un-American". That is, if they don't #34: "Eliminate the House Committee on Un-American Activities."
I liked this, though, from #41: "Attribute prejudices . . . to suppressive influence of parents." Um, isn't that usually where they come from? Parents influencing their kids' prejudices... if we accept that idea, the Communists have already won.
posted by nath at 10:13 PM on July 22, 2002
Evanizer is a Yalie tool. All of those "checks" are a matter of opinion. Except for the 9th Circuit Court decision, which is flatly, absolutely, and inarguably correct.
posted by McBain at 12:01 AM on July 23, 2002
posted by McBain at 12:01 AM on July 23, 2002
"23. Control art critics and directors of museums. "Plan is to promote ugliness, repulsive, meaningless art."
"I used to be with 'it', but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it' anymore and what's 'it' seems weird and scary."
posted by raaka at 2:45 AM on July 23, 2002
"I used to be with 'it', but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it' anymore and what's 'it' seems weird and scary."
posted by raaka at 2:45 AM on July 23, 2002
"23. Control art critics and directors of museums. "Plan is to promote ugliness, repulsive, meaningless art."
"I used to be with 'it', but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it' anymore and what's 'it' seems weird and scary."
Agreed. Thomas Kinkade scares the ever lovin' crap out of me. Especially this. Although it does give me a chuckle that it's called "The Village."
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 6:51 AM on July 23, 2002
"I used to be with 'it', but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it' anymore and what's 'it' seems weird and scary."
Agreed. Thomas Kinkade scares the ever lovin' crap out of me. Especially this. Although it does give me a chuckle that it's called "The Village."
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 6:51 AM on July 23, 2002
I tremble for my nation when I reflect that God may have no sense of humor.
posted by fluffy1984 at 7:03 AM on July 23, 2002
posted by fluffy1984 at 7:03 AM on July 23, 2002
Dammit! Where's the effing Jeffersonian-Miltonian neo-conservative secular humanist proto-Libertarian free-market capitalist agenda!? I need to know what I should be doing to subvert the country.
Evanizer, do you have yours? Could you email me a copy? All I remember is item 26: "Try to avoid getting a bug up your ass about ancient stupidities, especially if they are totally fabricated specifically for ass up-bugging."
posted by UncleFes at 7:12 AM on July 23, 2002
Evanizer, do you have yours? Could you email me a copy? All I remember is item 26: "Try to avoid getting a bug up your ass about ancient stupidities, especially if they are totally fabricated specifically for ass up-bugging."
posted by UncleFes at 7:12 AM on July 23, 2002
"Where's the effing Jeffersonian-Miltonian neo-conservative secular humanist proto-Libertarian free-market capitalist agenda"
drugs, sex, and rock-n-roll
through in a chevy and blue jeans and you have one unstoppable monster.
posted by clavdivs at 8:07 AM on July 23, 2002
drugs, sex, and rock-n-roll
through in a chevy and blue jeans and you have one unstoppable monster.
posted by clavdivs at 8:07 AM on July 23, 2002
This looks about as authentic as "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion". I wouldn't be surprised to hear that Newsmax itself made this up.
posted by interrobang at 8:32 AM on July 23, 2002
posted by interrobang at 8:32 AM on July 23, 2002
I'm not so sure there are ironies aplenty.
All this list tells me is that I'm glad Dr. Skousen isn't running the government (though it certainly has its share of people who at least partially agree with him) and certainly isn't running the culture.
Mr. Roboto was certainly right to note the creative use of quotation marks. My favorite is: '#28 Eliminate prayer or any phase of religious expression in the schools on the grounds that it violates the principle of "Separation of Church and State."'
This man is saying that the separation of church and state doesn't exist? I wonder what he thought the Framers meant by "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion"
This one is a little cryptic: "# 16 Use technical decisions of the courts to weaken basic American institutions by claiming their activities violate civil rights."
Their activities...like illegal search and seizure?
posted by lackutrol at 8:35 AM on July 23, 2002
All this list tells me is that I'm glad Dr. Skousen isn't running the government (though it certainly has its share of people who at least partially agree with him) and certainly isn't running the culture.
Mr. Roboto was certainly right to note the creative use of quotation marks. My favorite is: '#28 Eliminate prayer or any phase of religious expression in the schools on the grounds that it violates the principle of "Separation of Church and State."'
This man is saying that the separation of church and state doesn't exist? I wonder what he thought the Framers meant by "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion"
This one is a little cryptic: "# 16 Use technical decisions of the courts to weaken basic American institutions by claiming their activities violate civil rights."
Their activities...like illegal search and seizure?
posted by lackutrol at 8:35 AM on July 23, 2002
"Am I sending out anti-communism tracts in every letter, statement, and Christmas card that I send? People read tracts. Always keep a supply of tracts on your desk...Have I established a telephone branch in order to tell people to listen to such programs as "The Manion forum," "The Dan Smoot report," Freedom University of the Air".
-from booklet Win Now or Lose All
posted by clavdivs at 9:05 AM on July 23, 2002
-from booklet Win Now or Lose All
posted by clavdivs at 9:05 AM on July 23, 2002
Lackutrol - I rather suspect, given the attitude of the FBI at the time, that this refers to Brown v. Board of Ed. and other civil rights type lawsuits as well.
posted by fluffy1984 at 9:08 AM on July 23, 2002
posted by fluffy1984 at 9:08 AM on July 23, 2002
This is a valuable resource. As Americans, it's our duty to protect our precious bodily fluids at all costs.
posted by aladfar at 10:33 AM on July 23, 2002
posted by aladfar at 10:33 AM on July 23, 2002
One thing that makes you a communist. Being a member of the Communist party.
posted by nedrichards at 11:49 AM on July 23, 2002
posted by nedrichards at 11:49 AM on July 23, 2002
aladfar: As Americans, it's our duty to protect our precious bodily fluids at all costs.
and hopefully, one day we'll learn to love the bomb.
posted by iamjacksamnesia at 12:23 PM on July 23, 2002
and hopefully, one day we'll learn to love the bomb.
posted by iamjacksamnesia at 12:23 PM on July 23, 2002
« Older Project Cryo. | A new director has been announced for Harry Potter... Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
Boy, thank (under) God those filthy pinkos didn't win.
posted by Optamystic at 5:35 PM on July 22, 2002