I don't know about you, but this scares the hell out of me.
July 24, 2002 9:28 AM   Subscribe

I don't know about you, but this scares the hell out of me. Do we really need a "Tom Ridge Jugend?" How soon will these 'outcasts from society' get snazzy uniforms and their own ceremonies?
posted by kablam (29 comments total)
Duck and cover!
posted by Bag Man at 9:32 AM on July 24, 2002

What is needed is a Tom Ridge jug band. It could play all those traditional favorites: "Momma was a Traitor so I Called the FBI", "Statuary Rape (It's Curtains for Justice)", etc.

I'm never going back to America.
posted by pracowity at 9:40 AM on July 24, 2002

Another Post Godwinized for Your Protection.
posted by ljromanoff at 9:43 AM on July 24, 2002

The entire program is designed for teens who may be teenage parents, juvenile delinquents, low income, or coping with a learning or other disability. Eighty percent are male, and 30 percent live in group foster homes.
<Steven Colbert>

It's a chance to give these kids a gleam of hope, to prove that when Uncle Sam comes a-callin' they'll not be found a-wantin'; that a band of rag tag dead end kids could hitch up their oversized trousers, cock their porkpie hats, pick up their pea shooters, and give one in the eye to Tommy terrorist.

It's also possible that this is the beginning of the end, as gangs of piggy-eyed thugs, their close-cropped heads square and identical, march through our streets, taking "their due" from our merchants, our restaurateurs, and , yes, even our daughters.

Only time will tell.

</Steven Colbert>
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:45 AM on July 24, 2002

Cool! A summer camp for Homeland Security.

Memo to Tom Ridge, some ideas for camp activities:

* Practicing and priding in your religious bigotry. This is America, anyone who isn't Christian has no rights. Learn to how to be subtle in your bigotry yet at the same time letting Them know Their Place.

* How to report anyone who isn't white to the FBI. Everyone knows it's the Other People who commit all the violent crime in America. Is that curry chicken coming from the apartment next door? Better report it, next week it'll be C4.

* Sniping of helicopters in resdiential areas. Sheeeit, I thought thems was terrorismers.

* Elevating self-righteousness and arrogance to a noble cause. Ashcroft does it, we should all do it!
posted by xmutex at 9:49 AM on July 24, 2002

uncle godwin's gonna be mightily pissed. I did think the advert in the volkischer beobachter was rather fetching though.
posted by johnnyboy at 9:54 AM on July 24, 2002

am I the only person in america NOT living in prepetual fear of "the terrorists?"
posted by mcsweetie at 9:57 AM on July 24, 2002

[am I the only person in america NOT living in prepetual fear of "the terrorists?"]

No, you aren't. I am beginning to think I'm the only one not living in fear of 'the terrorists' and/or 'the government' though. The overdramatization around here lately would make James T. Kirk blush.
posted by revbrian at 10:08 AM on July 24, 2002

Another Post Godwinized for Your Protection

I've seen "godwinized" several times on MetaFilter lately. What does it mean?
posted by Tin Man at 10:19 AM on July 24, 2002

And those skills include math: "If I have 40 acres of forest," runs a typical problem, "how many search dogs will I need to find a fugitive?"

Oh my God. The narcs, tools, and annoying tattle tales of the world have found a home. Not really scary, just absurd.
posted by insomnyuk at 10:20 AM on July 24, 2002

I haven't feared the Terrorists since I realized that they've already won.
posted by interrobang at 10:21 AM on July 24, 2002

I've seen "godwinized" several times on MetaFilter lately. What does it mean?

The FAQ may answer your question.
posted by ljromanoff at 10:26 AM on July 24, 2002

Well, as long as we're on the Godwin trail...

Homeland, Homeland,
Uber alles
Uber alles in der Welt

Well, the youth need a song, don't they?

posted by dejah420 at 10:32 AM on July 24, 2002

What's scary about this? Some troubled kids are learning to be useful in civil emergency situations, and maybe gaining some direction in life. This is no more threatening than Boy Scouts, just more focused.
posted by Tubes at 10:36 AM on July 24, 2002

Thanks, ljromanoff. That's awesome.
posted by Tin Man at 10:36 AM on July 24, 2002

Evacuating buildings, putting out fires, and doing CPR.

Oh my God, that sounds positively ORWELLIAN! What a horrible, evil, NazionalSocial bunch of things to be teaching our youth! How dare they teach them these useless, capitalistic, evil, white person, racist things!

Wow, this place is getting très predictable.
posted by evanizer at 10:52 AM on July 24, 2002

posted by warhol at 11:05 AM on July 24, 2002

Come on, evanizer. It's one thing to teach kids helpful skills, another to bill it as "Homeland Security" training. I'm reporting you to TIPS for using a french adjective.
posted by liam at 11:14 AM on July 24, 2002

"The job training they receive, Bursk says, can start a career in the homeland security business, which is booming."

Righty right, droogies. Shopcrasting and tolchucking for the Government; Don' call me 'Dim' no more - it's Officer Mallory!
posted by Perigee at 12:15 PM on July 24, 2002

Original news release from Bucks County Community College.
posted by quirked at 12:15 PM on July 24, 2002

Did anyone even read the stupid article? This camp is run and paid for by a county in Pennsylvania. It has nothing whatsoever to do with Tom Ridge or the Department of Homeland Security (although Ridge has been "invited" to attend the graduation). Then again, I shouldn't expect anyone to let the "facts" get in the way of their spleen.
posted by pardonyou? at 12:16 PM on July 24, 2002

The concern, in my eyes, pardon, is not where its starting. Its the fact that a pattern of setting up low income, illiterate, troubled youths (the only kind this program allows in) to see themselves as defacto civil Government troops would Not be a good thing. Any number of regimes that we would consider an anathema to the 'American Way' featured very strong youth corps. The psychology of it is easy to follow.

If I dressed a bunch of manniquins up in wigs and clothing, stood 'em out in a park, and proceeded to blow them all away with a shotgun, its not murder... but its disturbing as hell, nonetheless. Sometimes its not what it is - sometimes its what it could become.
posted by Perigee at 12:28 PM on July 24, 2002

I'm reporting you to TIPS for using a french adjective.

(actually, it was an adverb, unless "predictable" was supposed to be pronounced PRE-dic-TAB-luh)
posted by Tin Man at 12:29 PM on July 24, 2002

Sometimes its not what it is - sometimes its what it could become.

Somehow I find this much more frightening- and closer to your "Jugend" rally- than a bunch of kids learning CPR.
posted by evanizer at 12:39 PM on July 24, 2002

perigree, I was addressing the posters who used this as another occasion to go off on Tom Ridge and his department (i.e., "Tom Ridge Jugend," "Tom Ridge jug band," "Memo to Tom Ridge, some ideas for camp activities").
posted by pardonyou? at 12:47 PM on July 24, 2002

You know, I've been worried for a long time about the erosion of civil liberties and the slippery slope toward a police state - and I've certainly been ripping on Ashcroft at any available opportunity - but this doesn't scare me.

I mean, like it or not, we're stuck with the concept of "Homeland Security" now. And if we're stuck with it, I'd rather it be something positive. The idea of training kids to learn CPR and first aid, and which fire extinguisher puts out which kind of fire - these are good things. If those sorts of skills are what we come to mean by "doing my part for Homeland Security," it's a damn sight better than possible other meanings for those words.

I don't see anything in this description which suggests the kids are being taught to pick out terrorists or report on their neighbors. In fact - other than the math question about search dogs - every other thing in the description relates to responding to disasters that have already occured or are in progress.

There are a lot of things to be worried about, but I don't think we should attack things solely because they've got the dreaded "Homeland Security" name slapped on them.
posted by Chanther at 12:53 PM on July 24, 2002

Students will be paid to become certified in CPR, first aid, animal CPR and first aid, and "first responder" - training on how to respond properly when first at the scene of an emergency.

Golly! That sounds absolutely frightening! Why didn't I realize that back in high school when I joined the Boy Scouts and an Explorer post attached to our local ambulance service that I was was being culled from the pack to be a part of a black ops krew that would eventually terrorize the nation!?

Oh. Wait. That's not how it worked at all.

It's amazing to read the difference between the actual press release and what the "reporter" (I use that term loosely, I think he wants to write speculative fiction) decided to make of it. Do you really think this wasn't happening before? It's part of the Job Training Partnership Act (JTPA) and it (and programs like it) have been around for a long, long time (my brother participated in one around the mid 70's.) Comparing these programs to the Hitler Youth is absolutely ridiculous and no less than one of the lowest attempts at trolling I've seen in some time...
posted by RevGreg at 12:58 PM on July 24, 2002

I'm reporting you to TIPS for using a french adjective.

And I'm reporting YOU, liam, to your French teacher for mistaking an adverb for an adjective
Now repeat with me:
Le chat est sur la chaise, la chaise est dans la chambre....
posted by matteo at 1:49 PM on July 24, 2002

The fact that ljr can cooly discount, out of hand, progressive ideals, is fodder enough for the case of continual harping on the absurdity of perpetual racing to be the first one to declare ~~~GODWIN'S LAW~~~.
posted by crasspastor at 3:56 AM on July 25, 2002

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