“[They] sound almost… like a colloquial anatomical vulgarity”
April 15, 2020 5:30 PM   Subscribe

Ada Powers: I get it: you’re on lockdown. You're trying to do a lot with a little. It's hard to find joy in the midst of fear, depression, and austerity. That's why it's time to learn about totwaffles. (thread)
posted by Going To Maine (28 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
 
I lost it at “knockoff tots.”

Filthy.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:32 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]


Not sure about the syrupchup but the totwaffles look great - like hashbrowns but with more crispy edges. Tomorrow is grocery day so I'll see if I can find a bag or two of tater tots.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 5:38 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]


To make SYRUPCHUP: Combine maple syrup and ketchup in a 1:1 ratio. Either microwave or stovetop works. If you heat it on a stove, try not to let it boil and reduce. We want yield. The SYRUPCHUP must flow.

I feel like this would benefit from the addition of sriracha, so it would be SRIRASYRUPCHUP.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:38 PM on April 15 [9 favorites]


Or SYRUPCHUPCHA.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:40 PM on April 15 [13 favorites]


I came across this in the first week of the lockdown and happened to be in the grocery shortly after...and there was exactly one, family sized bag of tater tots in the freezer section. I have never purchased tater tots in my life, but it felt like fate.

Shortly afterward I forgot we had them, so this post is very timely. Thanks!
posted by hearthpig at 5:49 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]


Totwaffles are great but have you ever tried fawaffle?
posted by gnutron at 5:50 PM on April 15 [4 favorites]


Srirachimichurrupchup
posted by glonous keming at 5:50 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]


Unf
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:08 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]


A) I decided weeks ago that Tater Tots qualify as a meal
B) If you roll them in olive oil and bake them for 10 minutes longer than called for they are extra crispy
C) Mayonnaise can be divisive, but it is a wonderful carrier for things like smoked paprika, Gochujang or Sambal Oelek which is the superior chili sauce (sorry Sriracha fans).

I don’t have a toaster oven or I would try this. Sadly I fear that soon Tater Tots will seem a luxury beyond my reach.
posted by Conrad-Casserole at 7:29 PM on April 15 [8 favorites]


I saw this when it first was posted and we immediately made totwaffles that weekend. A++ would totwaffle again.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 8:19 PM on April 15


My youngest daughter took her waffle iron (it was a christmas present) with her when she moved out. I hated that thing. It was hard to clean, and I burned myself on it all the fucking time. But now I'm missing it.

Claire Lower at The Skillet has been doing lots of waffling things. And I'm jealous.

But I've still got my cast iron pans and cast iron grill press, so, even though there's no pattern, I can have crispy!
posted by valkane at 8:38 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]


i have been very into tater tot nachos
posted by PinkMoose at 10:02 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]


Totchos, surely
posted by potrzebie at 10:30 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]


My brother-in-law made these when I visited a couple of years ago but he just called them waffles made with tater-tots.

Five minutes after I left their house I realized that he should call them "tot waffles"

Whatever you name them, they're a beautiful indicator of the future of society.
posted by bendy at 11:24 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]


Would it not be easier to just buy potato waffles?
posted by biffa at 1:07 AM on April 16


Take that derail to the poffle thread.
posted by Karaage at 4:28 AM on April 16 [8 favorites]


My favorite brewery has had these on the menu for a long time. They are great with beer.
posted by tommasz at 5:48 AM on April 16


I'm intrigued. Next time I go to a store, I'll keep an eye out for tots. I'm curious if it would work with just potato, or if there's other stuff in the tots that keep them together. Perhaps a bit of egg would be useful?

When I was a kid, I used to make hamburgers with frozen waffles when we had meat patties and waffles but no bread. From what I recall, it was surprisingly good. The only problem was the difference in diameter.

Syrupchup, though, is a contender for the single most unappetizing thing I've ever contemplated. Cheers to those who like it. I'll take the plate of warm human eyeballs crawling with ants instead.
posted by eotvos at 6:13 AM on April 16 [3 favorites]


That actually looks really good. I don't have tater tots (do we even get them in the UK?) or a waffle iron, but this has inspired me to try putting hash browns in the sandwich toaster.
posted by AllShoesNoSocks at 6:45 AM on April 16


In the UK, Lidl's frozen potato croquettes are excellent for this. They are not breadcrumbed like a proper croquette, but a mysterious mashed, extruded (for a crispy rough texture!) and pre-fried thing.
posted by dowcrag at 6:57 AM on April 16


Croquettes are awesome and I have no idea why they haven't caught on in the USA.

DEEP FRIED MASHED POTATOES, PEOPLE! (sometimes with cheese, too!)
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:04 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]


How many minutes? Yes. There is no way to fuck this up.
I must try this immediately.
posted by MtDewd at 8:45 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]


i dont have a waffle iron but i obviously need to make this so can someone please tell me how i can make a reasonable facsimile? i have a big cast iron pan a small one. can i heat them both up and smoosh the tots in between?
posted by capnsue at 9:20 AM on April 16


More like “syrupCHUCK”, amirite?
posted by Going To Maine at 11:15 AM on April 16


More like “syrupCHUCK”, amirite?

I mean, technically you could integrate mayonnaise along with sriracha, which would yield: SYRUPCHUPCHANNAISE

Portmanteau condiments, man. How do they work?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:55 PM on April 16


Best approximation in Europe I’ve found is the frozen rosti
posted by thedaniel at 3:24 AM on April 17


In the UK, Lidl's frozen potato croquettes are excellent for this. They are not breadcrumbed like a proper croquette, but a mysterious mashed, extruded (for a crispy rough texture!) and pre-fried thing.

Yes, that sounds like a tater tot all right.
posted by snowmentality at 2:12 PM on April 17


I did this yesterday. Pretty tasty on its own, also makes an excellent substrate for a runny fried egg (mind you I like runny fried eggs on about anything...) Pro tip: put the waffle iron on a small cookie sheet with shallow sides, there's a LOT of excess grease that comes out.

The author has a patreon-y thing where you can buy her a totwaffle!
posted by hearthpig at 5:27 AM on April 20 [1 favorite]


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