Not Flash, not Friday, not voar!
May 7, 2020 10:54 AM Subscribe
Wash your spaceship.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:20 AM on May 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:20 AM on May 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
Surprisingly fun for a game with one control!
posted by Paladin1138 at 12:03 PM on May 7, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by Paladin1138 at 12:03 PM on May 7, 2020 [4 favorites]
I blew up a lot.
posted by biogeo at 12:40 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by biogeo at 12:40 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
Goddammit, Octothorpe.
posted by uberchet at 12:41 PM on May 7, 2020 [8 favorites]
posted by uberchet at 12:41 PM on May 7, 2020 [8 favorites]
The funniest part is when you accidentally disconnect from the server, and start wondering why everybody seems to be flying across the earth (well, the virus) and why you are not collecting any points. Then you speed up as much as you can just to see what happens, and you reach outer space. You do not blew up. You do not die. You just go. All your travel companions become dots on a corner of the screen, buzzing around like bees, while you and your name tag wander lonely in the intergalactic void. The words “Disconnected from server. Please reload the site. Attempting reconnect…” appear far away, in the emptiness of space. You become one with eternity.
posted by spheniscus at 12:45 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by spheniscus at 12:45 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
Does everyone else hold their breath and clench their buttcheeks when your orbit gets close to the edge? No, just me?
posted by hanov3r at 12:51 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by hanov3r at 12:51 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
If enough of us get on at once we can do some kind of EVE Online universe takeover thing, just with more crashing.
posted by mollweide at 12:52 PM on May 7, 2020
posted by mollweide at 12:52 PM on May 7, 2020
Elliptical orbits seem the way to go; although you're vulnerable to launching griefers when you flyby the surface.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 1:09 PM on May 7, 2020
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 1:09 PM on May 7, 2020
What?
posted by octothorpe at 1:32 PM on May 7, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 1:32 PM on May 7, 2020 [4 favorites]
WOO! THANK YOU!
I've been checking voar.io every month or so since it disappeared.
posted by JoeZydeco at 1:37 PM on May 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
I've been checking voar.io every month or so since it disappeared.
posted by JoeZydeco at 1:37 PM on May 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
In fairness, some of those "launching griefers" might just not be very good... not that I'm speaking from experience or anything.
posted by biogeo at 1:59 PM on May 7, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by biogeo at 1:59 PM on May 7, 2020 [5 favorites]
I'm going to guess that current leader Surely This is an old school MeFite.
posted by The Bellman at 3:04 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by The Bellman at 3:04 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
Wow the feature where you hit a bonus circle and then orbit in the opposite direction was fun.
posted by Mitheral at 3:28 PM on May 7, 2020
posted by Mitheral at 3:28 PM on May 7, 2020
It's like Kerbal Space Program without all the pesky engineering.
posted by Brodiggitty at 3:29 PM on May 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by Brodiggitty at 3:29 PM on May 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
If by fun you mean "terrifying", yes.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 3:30 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 3:30 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
Wow I am terrible at this.
posted by Literaryhero at 3:32 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Literaryhero at 3:32 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
God I love this genre.
posted by cortex at 3:35 PM on May 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by cortex at 3:35 PM on May 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
It's been nice to meet so many of you but I wish we'd do it a little less frequently.
posted by biogeo at 3:55 PM on May 7, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by biogeo at 3:55 PM on May 7, 2020 [5 favorites]
voario was 5.5 yrs ago? That can't be right.
Played long enough to see someone ask in the chat "Why is everyone from mefi"
posted by stobor at 4:48 PM on May 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
Played long enough to see someone ask in the chat "Why is everyone from mefi"
posted by stobor at 4:48 PM on May 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
No one believed us about the risks https://i.imgur.com/BTetPZH.png
posted by Stunt at 4:53 PM on May 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by Stunt at 4:53 PM on May 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
Ahhh, it is so much easier on a computer than on a phone.
posted by Literaryhero at 4:59 PM on May 7, 2020
posted by Literaryhero at 4:59 PM on May 7, 2020
Perfectly circular orbiting is the supreme challenge of the satelite.io pilot.
posted by BrashTech at 5:03 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by BrashTech at 5:03 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
Oof, it's rough when the network gets laggy.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 5:22 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 5:22 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
No one believed us about the risks https://i.imgur.com/BTetPZH.png
Heh... that was me. And it was probably not on purpose...
posted by Foosnark at 6:28 PM on May 7, 2020
Heh... that was me. And it was probably not on purpose...
posted by Foosnark at 6:28 PM on May 7, 2020
I'm finding it best to sit in the highest orbit possible, out of the way of the other pesky rockets. As long as you only boost exactly at your apoapsis, it's a fairly safe strategy - until the lag screws everything up.
posted by automatronic at 6:31 PM on May 7, 2020
posted by automatronic at 6:31 PM on May 7, 2020
Someone needs to rethink their implementation of roll-back
posted by Humanzee at 6:36 PM on May 7, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by Humanzee at 6:36 PM on May 7, 2020 [4 favorites]
Good times, I finally got the crown!
posted by calamari kid at 7:09 PM on May 7, 2020
posted by calamari kid at 7:09 PM on May 7, 2020
Wow the feature where you hit a bonus circle and then orbit in the opposite direction was fun.
Guy comes home from work. Worried spouse says, "Honey, I'm so glad you're home safe! I heard on the traffic report there was some idiot driving the wrong way down the highway."
"One idiot? There were hundreds of them!"
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:11 PM on May 7, 2020 [11 favorites]
Guy comes home from work. Worried spouse says, "Honey, I'm so glad you're home safe! I heard on the traffic report there was some idiot driving the wrong way down the highway."
"One idiot? There were hundreds of them!"
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:11 PM on May 7, 2020 [11 favorites]
We had a deal, Kyle: "Oof, it's rough when the network gets laggy."
Yeah, it's not playable right now.
posted by octothorpe at 7:23 PM on May 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
Yeah, it's not playable right now.
posted by octothorpe at 7:23 PM on May 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
The high orbit strategy is fairly safe, but you gain points slower. I have been trying lower orbits until I snag the lead, then gently boosting out and hoping no one catches up (in points).
It was quite lag-free this afternoon. The last couple hours have been not very smooth.
posted by glonous keming at 7:23 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
It was quite lag-free this afternoon. The last couple hours have been not very smooth.
posted by glonous keming at 7:23 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
It was quite lag-free this afternoon. The last couple hours have been not very smooth.
I concur; when I played earlier this afternoon it was smooth as a summer breeze. This evening took me beck to misspent youth watching Jam Master Jay scratch on the turntable.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:51 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
I concur; when I played earlier this afternoon it was smooth as a summer breeze. This evening took me beck to misspent youth watching Jam Master Jay scratch on the turntable.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:51 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
Very nice when it's working. Getting an awful lot of rubberbanding though.
posted by Enturbulated at 9:16 PM on May 7, 2020
posted by Enturbulated at 9:16 PM on May 7, 2020
yo stop messyo stopy mossystoppppyo meing with the timelineineine ssing withthetime[killed by: penis]
posted by 20 year lurk at 9:25 PM on May 7, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by 20 year lurk at 9:25 PM on May 7, 2020 [4 favorites]
kusos for the voar shoutout! what an elegant game.
posted by mwhybark at 10:33 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by mwhybark at 10:33 PM on May 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
In case anyone hasn't tried this: If (when) you get disconnected from the server, collision gets turned off and you can thrust past the outer limit and into deep space, but if you go too far, like 20 or 30 thrusts, you escape completely and never come back.
So it's also sort of a clunky metaphor for life in general.
posted by glonous keming at 10:57 PM on May 7, 2020
So it's also sort of a clunky metaphor for life in general.
posted by glonous keming at 10:57 PM on May 7, 2020
Rocket science is hard
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 11:31 PM on May 7, 2020
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 11:31 PM on May 7, 2020
Seeing Mefi usernames that haven't been active since I was a wee lurker is fun, too.
posted by biogeo at 12:03 AM on May 8, 2020
posted by biogeo at 12:03 AM on May 8, 2020
Very hard to hug. Perhaps, a metaphor.
posted by Stunt at 12:27 AM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Stunt at 12:27 AM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
Something's odd about the physics. Aren't orbits supposed to be elliptical? I guess there's a drag term though, so maybe it's that.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 5:04 AM on May 8, 2020
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 5:04 AM on May 8, 2020
this is just about the perfect brain scrub after sitting through too many Zoom meetings. or even the perfect way to appear engaged during a particularly mind numbing Zoom meeting...
posted by cubby at 5:33 AM on May 8, 2020
posted by cubby at 5:33 AM on May 8, 2020
I will 100% admit that I laughed at the announcement of a kill when "my wife" was in the #1 slot on the leaderboard:
"'PLAYER' won't let 'my wife' be on top any more."
posted by hanov3r at 8:02 AM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
"'PLAYER' won't let 'my wife' be on top any more."
posted by hanov3r at 8:02 AM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
Sorry I killed you, most of the people in this thread. I was BOOM, literally and figuratively.
posted by Happy Dave at 8:09 AM on May 8, 2020
posted by Happy Dave at 8:09 AM on May 8, 2020
Wow, now I know what it feels like to be an ant on a DJ's scratch disc... [wobbles unsteadily]
posted by Hardcore Poser at 8:50 AM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Hardcore Poser at 8:50 AM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
This is Ground Control to Major Tom
You've really made th- AAAAAHHH, Tom! Nooooooo!
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 8:53 AM on May 8, 2020
You've really made th- AAAAAHHH, Tom! Nooooooo!
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 8:53 AM on May 8, 2020
Been playing variously as blarg and Lag is hilarious.
Best strategy I've found is to get up to a high orbit level, then background the tab and only check back in every couple minutes to push the ship back to high orbit. If some yahoo's going to hit you, they're gonna; you have a better chance if you keep interaction to a minimum, and let the lag distract everyone else into bad decisions.
posted by ardgedee at 9:00 AM on May 8, 2020
Best strategy I've found is to get up to a high orbit level, then background the tab and only check back in every couple minutes to push the ship back to high orbit. If some yahoo's going to hit you, they're gonna; you have a better chance if you keep interaction to a minimum, and let the lag distract everyone else into bad decisions.
posted by ardgedee at 9:00 AM on May 8, 2020
just got killed by "[mefi] lag is hilarious"
yes it is...
posted by martin q blank at 9:04 AM on May 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
yes it is...
posted by martin q blank at 9:04 AM on May 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
Hi nice to meet you!
posted by ardgedee at 9:06 AM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by ardgedee at 9:06 AM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
Howdy back at ya! I was Player 3344. Held the lead for a long time, got close to 20K points and then got whacked by lag plus some some moron who forgot to look both ways before he left the planet....
posted by martin q blank at 9:15 AM on May 8, 2020
posted by martin q blank at 9:15 AM on May 8, 2020
Killed by: Plate o'beans has to be just about the most Metafilter way to go.
posted by mollweide at 9:39 AM on May 8, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by mollweide at 9:39 AM on May 8, 2020 [3 favorites]
So much crashing and exploding.
posted by doctornemo at 11:09 AM on May 8, 2020
posted by doctornemo at 11:09 AM on May 8, 2020
> Killed by: Plate o'beans has to be just about the most Metafilter way to go.When playing as “$20”, I was killed by “same as in town”.
posted by farlukar at 12:09 PM on May 8, 2020 [6 favorites]
That was my alias, farlukar, thanks for the inspiration, sorry about the disintegration.
posted by mollweide at 12:28 PM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by mollweide at 12:28 PM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
I swear I was gonna get some work done today...
posted by onehalfjunco at 12:31 PM on May 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by onehalfjunco at 12:31 PM on May 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
Thank's a lot onehalfjunco, I just got that ship!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:03 PM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:03 PM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
"you were killed by cortex but no snitching" made me spit my beverage. Thank you.
posted by onehalfjunco at 1:25 PM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by onehalfjunco at 1:25 PM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
i'm totally working right now i swear
posted by cortex at 1:27 PM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by cortex at 1:27 PM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
I'm snitching on cortex!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:28 PM on May 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:28 PM on May 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
Cortex, this ain't like dusting crops!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:34 PM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:34 PM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
Got a high score of 12,217, but then was killed by 'abusing edit window'.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:46 PM on May 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:46 PM on May 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
One of you very clearly tried to take me down.
That's not going to happen. The only threat allowed against me is my own incompetence!
posted by BuxtonTheRed at 2:07 PM on May 8, 2020
That's not going to happen. The only threat allowed against me is my own incompetence!
posted by BuxtonTheRed at 2:07 PM on May 8, 2020
I feel like the lag is telling me to get back to work, it's a real struggle to see whether it or my aggressive procrastination is stronger.
posted by biogeo at 2:18 PM on May 8, 2020
posted by biogeo at 2:18 PM on May 8, 2020
The lag is just beans, fly on!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:23 PM on May 8, 2020
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:23 PM on May 8, 2020
propulsive flatulence was killed by fart.
Fart was hoisted on his own petard.
posted by Ickster at 3:24 PM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
Fart was hoisted on his own petard.
posted by Ickster at 3:24 PM on May 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
Ļ̵̻͒͂A̷̢̡̰͔̥̫̰͕̯̙͙̠̟͐̒Ǵ̷̜̗̓̾̀̃͘͜ kills us all.
posted by Stunt at 5:00 PM on May 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Stunt at 5:00 PM on May 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
Killed by poor judgment. It was ever thus.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:22 PM on May 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:22 PM on May 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
now there are players named things like "destroyer of mefites" -- very satisfying to see mefites beating them
posted by cubby at 8:22 AM on May 9, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by cubby at 8:22 AM on May 9, 2020 [3 favorites]
go mefi
posted by 20 year lurk at 9:08 AM on May 9, 2020
posted by 20 year lurk at 9:08 AM on May 9, 2020
"Several ocelots tried to cross the border."
A code, obviously.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:32 AM on May 9, 2020
A code, obviously.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:32 AM on May 9, 2020
Maximilian Schell was killed by event horizon.
posted by Ministry of Truth at 1:40 PM on May 9, 2020
posted by Ministry of Truth at 1:40 PM on May 9, 2020
Just HAD to go for that Reverse, huh onehalfjunco? HAD TO.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:00 PM on May 12, 2020
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:00 PM on May 12, 2020
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posted by meinvt at 11:09 AM on May 7, 2020