Antidepressants or Tolkien Character?
May 19, 2020 9:39 AM   Subscribe

This is a shockingly effective quiz, right up there with Computer Scientist or Serial Killer. I straight-up guessed about two thirds of the answers.
posted by Merus at 9:44 AM on May 19 [11 favorites]

20/24, but some of them definitely made me laugh even when I got them right.
posted by muddgirl at 9:46 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

23/24. If there are any two things I know, it's antidepressants and Tolkien characters. :^/
posted by Gray Duck at 9:49 AM on May 19 [37 favorites]

21/24, which makes me hang my head in shame. I want to see Stephen Colbert's score.
posted by The Nutmeg of Consolation at 9:50 AM on May 19 [5 favorites]

I really went into that with a lot of confidence and came out of it with a 17/24. I stand humbled.
posted by Zargon X at 9:51 AM on May 19 [11 favorites]

I really did not expect to be as bad at this as I was; I'm about ready to pop a Silmaril and take a nap.
posted by Jpfed at 9:51 AM on May 19 [57 favorites]

16/24 and actually all things considered rather just the tadmost proud (and pleased to be unversed in the field(s))
posted by sammyo at 9:53 AM on May 19

This was surprisingly hard even as someone reasonably familiar with both categories. Very enjoyable.
posted by terretu at 9:56 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

14/24, I am deeply ashamed. And I also want to know how Stephen Colbert did/does!
posted by kalimac at 9:57 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

21/24, but — full disclosure — I have read the books more than once and been prescribed two of the pharmaceuticals.

My score would have been higher, but my neurologist once accidentally prescribed me Ohtar, the squire of Elendil who brought the shards of Narsil to Rivendell.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:58 AM on May 19 [27 favorites]

Ask your doctor if Ohtar is right for you
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:00 AM on May 19 [37 favorites]

Apparently I cannot. A chicken pecking at the keyboard would be better at this than me.
posted by biffa at 10:10 AM on May 19 [8 favorites]

I was rattled by the end - missed the last question even though I had heard the name before
posted by thelonius at 10:17 AM on May 19

15/24. disappointing. they suckered me in with a string of easy obvious ones and then hit me overconfident with elronon, breaking my momentum and crushing my spirit. then the diacritics.
also: bergil is the name of a turkish woman of my acquaintance, and probably attributable to neither tolkienish influence on her parents, nor that of trademarking ad firm.
posted by 20 year lurk at 10:18 AM on May 19 [4 favorites]

I stopped at question 17, having gotten so very many wrong. Now I think Elronon is a conspiracy of Tolkien-pharmaceutical fanboys.
posted by gladly at 10:19 AM on May 19 [5 favorites]

17/24....I can't believe Nardil and Elronon aren't from Tolkien.
posted by grandiloquiet at 10:20 AM on May 19 [9 favorites]

Full disclosure, I'm a pharmacist married to a Tolkien nut and I only got 19/24.
posted by selfmedicating at 10:25 AM on May 19 [30 favorites]

I rage quitted (quit? I don't know or care anymore) at Elronon.
posted by treepour at 10:27 AM on May 19 [8 favorites]

15/24?! Heinously bad for someone who definitely listened to The Cure while reading The Atlas of Middle Earth. Guess I have to turn in my nerd badge.
posted by peakes at 10:31 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

Elronon also got me. And I thought I was so clever! "Well, I know Elrond and Elros and Elrohir are real Tolkien names, so surely Elronon is one of their relatives or something...."

Anyway, I got 19/24 and a lot of that was straight up guessing.
posted by yasaman at 10:31 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

Viagra is an antidepressant?
posted by InfidelZombie at 10:33 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

15/24, never read the books. Saw LotR 13+ years ago as a huge marathon and don't remember any of it.
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 10:34 AM on May 19

I'm about ready to pop a Silmaril and take a nap.

Whatever, Ungoliant.

posted by tobascodagama at 10:36 AM on May 19 [9 favorites]

16/24? Yikes. To be fair a lot of them are names of prior royalty from Numenor or Gondor, you know, the list that most people skim but don't commit to memory. (I mean who memorizes the entire Red Book of Westmarch?) The one that got me was the drug with the ‘ó’ in it, because that accented character just kinda screams Tolkein to my brain.
posted by caution live frogs at 10:42 AM on May 19 [6 favorites]

17 knowing only one, but one of them marked me as incorrect without me clicking on anything.
Any guesses on whether drug namers are into Tolkien? (Or Tolkien knew a lot about antidepressants?)
posted by MtDewd at 10:45 AM on May 19

As a pedantic nurse, I wish to register a complaint that two of these drugs are not anti-depressants at all. Sildenafil, AKA viagra, can certainly make the user momentarily happier but mood is not the primary indication :) Amantidine can be taken to prevent tremors and other neurological side effects in people who take anti-psychotics, but it’s not an anti-depressant per se and even that use is pretty rare. (Incidentally cogentin, the drug more commonly used for that purpose, would also be a decent Tolkien dupe.)
posted by ActionPopulated at 10:51 AM on May 19 [14 favorites]

I've read the books at least twice and seen all the movies. On the other hand I often don't remember someone's name 5 minutes after meeting them.
posted by BoscosMom at 10:56 AM on May 19

ActionPopulated & InfidelZombie, right there with ya. Several of those weren't antidepressants by any stretch of the imagination.
posted by selfmedicating at 11:06 AM on May 19

Couldn't even finish. Bad. Having read the trilogy to tatters at some time; just bad.
posted by Afghan Stan at 11:08 AM on May 19

17/24....I can't believe Nardil and Elronon aren't from Tolkien.

Right?? 13/24 and that's only because I knew Amantadine was a drug from watching House. Some of the drug names even have accents! Is this a long time pharma troll?
posted by fshgrl at 11:14 AM on May 19 [3 favorites]

11/24. I thought I could at least count on all the ones with accented characters being Tolkein, but nope, not even that.
posted by ckape at 11:16 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

Now i've gotta check with my physician, because i've been taking Bilbo three times a day for years...
posted by OHenryPacey at 11:17 AM on May 19 [8 favorites]

There and back again?
posted by Drastic at 11:25 AM on May 19

Nardil got me. That is more or less Quenya. Characters, not just Elvish!
posted by Fukiyama at 11:32 AM on May 19

I blew it, then sent it to my wife, who is a great Tolkien fan. She said she blew it also. The similarities really are shocking.
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:32 AM on May 19

Only three points better than chance. Maybe it's lupus.
posted by flabdablet at 11:39 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

22/24 but I forgot which ones I got wrong. I'm getting old I guess.
posted by hat_eater at 11:46 AM on May 19

13/24. I was actually trying. I should've just guessed the whole way.
posted by curious nu at 11:50 AM on May 19

I'm not listing my score because it is embarrassing considering that I read and reread those books during my tween years until they literally fell to pieces. I guess I never paid attention to the kings of Gondor.

And apparently I'd completely deleted Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins from my mind palace. That is something that exists?
posted by betweenthebars at 11:55 AM on May 19

Sildenafil? An antidepressant? Maybe in a very roundabout way, I suppose.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:56 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

23/24 but it wasn't easy
posted by Hairy Lobster at 12:06 PM on May 19

Now i've gotta check with my physician, because i've been taking Bilbo three times a day for years...

There was a photo making the rounds of an Rx where the doctor had written "Take 3 times a day with breakfast" and the pharmacist had requested clarification --"Is the patient a hobbit?"
posted by selfmedicating at 12:08 PM on May 19 [29 favorites]

13/24, I definitely expected this to be easy...
posted by Fully Completely at 12:18 PM on May 19

Nardil is one letter away from Narsil, the name of the sword that Isildur used to cut the one ring off of the hand of Sauron.
posted by gimonca at 12:25 PM on May 19 [4 favorites]

The shards of which were brought back to Rivendell by Ohtar. Side effects may include drowsiness, nausea, indigestion, frontispiece maps, genealogies, and numerous appendices.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:45 PM on May 19 [23 favorites]

So what should you take Sauron for? And what are the common side effects of Sauron? Can you get Sauron over the counter?

As much as I love the Peter Jackson trilogy, I thought that Thorazine became way too overpowered by the third film.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 1:06 PM on May 19 [3 favorites]

"Elefax," "Norezor," "Argofan," and "Trevilor" are all international trade names just for venlafaxine/Effexor, which is also sold as "Limbic," "Mazda," "Tudor," "Blossom" and my personal favourite, "Calmdown".
posted by wreckingball at 1:13 PM on May 19 [4 favorites]

The order of the questions is very tricky and clever, because some of the early names can lure you into assumptions about patterns. It's also quite sneaky to use the trade names that drugs are marketed under in other languages, which lets them use those accented vowels.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 1:27 PM on May 19 [5 favorites]

I've long suspected big phrama has a team of sf writers trapped in a basement, churning out drug names.
posted by doctornemo at 1:56 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]

22/24. And nerdy enough to have gotten one of them by going "Okay, that name looks elvish but has a 'k' in it, so it definitely can't be, c'mon."
posted by darchildre at 2:12 PM on May 19 [6 favorites]

20/24, I failed mostly on the names of old Numenorean kings, and on Nardil.
posted by suelac at 2:39 PM on May 19

I think the reason it's harder than it seems like it should be is that almost no amount of ordinary knowledge of either topic lets you confidently rule out a category. Even the officially published (by JRR Tolkien) parts of the Middle Earth legendarium include at least 500 characters, and there are thousands of different names for antidepressants, if you're using criteria as broad (and at times inaccurate) as those used here.

At the same time, I don't think it's that surprising that it's quite tricky, both because Tolkien, drawing on a range of natural languages, intentionally constructed his languages to be aesthetically pleasing, and because his novels are among the most widely read books ever written, and significantly shape our aesthetic sensibilities.
posted by howfar at 2:48 PM on May 19 [4 favorites]

You also have to take into account that the person making the test is cherry-picking the most Tolkienesque drug names and the druggiest Tolkien names and no I am not just trying to make excuses because I got less than half of them right.
posted by ckape at 3:22 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]


This is the one I was annoyed that I missed; I heard of it from reading about the details of David Foster Wallace's suicide in a Rolling Stone article, years ago. Going off Nardil was what precipitated his decline.
posted by thelonius at 4:10 PM on May 19

21/24, which makes me hang my head in shame.

I knew it'd be the Gondorian/Numenorian line of kings that got me. I mean wtf Elros, picking the gift of death...
posted by RolandOfEld at 4:10 PM on May 19

this is why I generally just take acid
posted by philip-random at 4:21 PM on May 19 [3 favorites]

It's a trick question, since Tolkien is an antidepressant.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 5:00 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]

Consult your physician to see if Elessar is right for you. Side effects of Elessar may include: prolonged wandering, sudden bouts of running lasting two or more days, visions of dead oathbreakers, earning the enmity of the Great Eye. Do not take Elessar if you plan to simply walk into Mordor.
posted by logicpunk at 6:39 PM on May 19 [7 favorites]

17 of 24. I would have gotten 18, but I’m playing on my tablet and brushed a finger accidentally over the wrong answer. I’ve read LotR dozens of times, but I’ve never needed anti-depressants. I do, however, see far too many drug commercials.
posted by lhauser at 7:56 PM on May 19

Physician who treats a TON of depression. Also have read The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings. 18/24.

You've made your point.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:15 PM on May 19 [5 favorites]

Metafilter: You've made your point.
posted by away for regrooving at 12:58 AM on May 20 [2 favorites]

I had to stop midway through because I just kept saying, "oh bilbo bagginses, we're really in it now" in a progressively more and more strained voice every time I got something wrong
posted by Kitchen Witch at 4:42 AM on May 20 [4 favorites]

Oh I enjoyed this.
posted by freethefeet at 5:03 AM on May 20

13/24. But some of those pills sound good. Ima ask my doctor.
posted by sexyrobot at 7:41 AM on May 20

Stupid “Elranon”, getting himself written out of Forgotten Tales just so people can fuck up on this test which is complete bullshit and I don’t care what my score is because this test is complete bullshit and fuck this test, my friends and I referred to “The Professor” in high school out of respect and this test is bullshit don’t judge me.

Stupid “Elranon”. Worst Noldor ever.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 9:46 AM on May 20 [3 favorites]

I love this test, but wow is it hard.

Authors that make up fantasy names and companies coming up with products have the same problem - creating cool, memorable nonsense that sounds vaguely plausible but not familiar.

This revelation came to me last year in the shower, hence Planet from Doctor Who or Hair Care Product.

(It is much easier than this Antidepressant/Tolkien quiz, because I am not a sadist)
posted by AndrewStephens at 11:21 AM on May 20 [5 favorites]

(21/24, chronic depressive, can recite all the LOTR poetry but never finished the Silmarilion.) I mean the thing about Tolkein's names was that he was NOT inventing plausible nonsense willy-nilly, his languages and etymologies were consistent and reasoned....
posted by runincircles at 1:21 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

Not taking the test. Just pointing out that when my mom ditched an old copy of Physician's Desk Reference while I was in my 20s, I hung on to it for a while intending to use drug names as character names. Never did.
posted by Mutant Lobsters from Riverhead at 2:42 PM on May 20 [2 favorites]

Anti cancer drugs have the coolest names. My late mother, prescribed ipilimumab, always referred to it as "zippitydoodah". Didn't cure her cancer, but talking about it always cheered her up.
posted by flabdablet at 2:51 PM on May 20 [5 favorites]

Authors that make up fantasy names and companies coming up with products have the same problem - creating cool, memorable nonsense that sounds vaguely plausible but not familiar.

This isn't really true of Tolkien (an academic philologist) and particularly not in respect of the majority of the names here, which are derived from the artificial Quenya and Sindarin languages, which he associates with his elves (the name orgins of the hobbits and dwarves are a bit different, due to originating in the less linguistically inspired The Hobbit, although it's worth noting that Tolkien retrospectively provided "real" names for a number of the hobbits. The names of "Men" are almost entirely Anglo-Saxon). Both of the elven languages predate the mythology and the stories in conception and the majority of their development, and Tolkien regarded these latter as essentially secondary to the philological exploration and invention that he started as a teenager.

Tolkien's names, unlike those of almost every other author of fantasy, sound plausible because they are derived from a deep knowledge of and fascination with both natural and artificial languages: their plausibility is precisely because they are not nonsense, but rather reflect a sense of his understanding of how languages function and develop, and the specific functioning of a number of languages of both kinds. They perhaps sound more like generic fantasy names as time goes on, not because he was doing the same thing as most fantasy authors, but more likely because of Tolkien's profound and continuing influence on our perception of what such names should sound like.
posted by howfar at 3:40 AM on May 21 [7 favorites]

22/24. I missed a couple of Numenorian kings.
posted by Foosnark at 7:02 AM on May 21 [1 favorite]

This isn't really true of Tolkien

reminds me of a writing workshop moment from way back. Actually, it was post-workshop, having a few drinks with other students. Some guy had submitted some Tolkienesque sword and sorcery stuff. One of the older students, a woman who clearly knew her Tolkien, said to him -- "problem is, if you really want to do justice to how Tolkien did things, you've first got to spend decades in deep study into the roots of all western mythology, and language, and be a pretty rigorous Roman Catholic to boot. And before all that, you've to endure the sheer hell of World War One's trench warfare, watch most of your friends and companions die horribly, or be disfigured for life, internally if not externally. Not trying to dissuade from writing imaginative stuff, I just think you need to draw more from your own research and experience."
posted by philip-random at 8:42 AM on May 21 [3 favorites]

I hung on to it for a while intending to use drug names as character names. Never did.

When I started playing D&D in the mid-80's, it was with a number of college grads (I was a teenager), two of which were chemistry/pharm or pre-med bachelors; at one point there was a wizard named Nephron, a ranger named Palmar, and a fighter named Ileus, all body parts or body-part-related.
posted by pseudophile at 9:49 AM on May 21 [1 favorite]

Presumably some of these drugs are Hobbit forming? Ah, someone's got my coat already.
posted by peterkins at 3:26 PM on May 21 [5 favorites]

23/24. Goddamn Nardil.
posted by Pallas Athena at 6:21 PM on May 21 [1 favorite]

« Older The Unreasonable Effectiveness Of Declarative...   |   Will you crease yourself and be reborn? Newer »

You are not currently logged in. Log in or create a new account to post comments.