Yay! Giant isopod in Japanese aquarium poops for first time in 2 years

June 6, 2020 2:18 PM

A momentous event took place in Toba Aquarium on 26 May, when the keeper of the facility’s five giant isopods discovered fecal matter in their tank. This would be the first time since April of 2018 that even a trace of poop had been found. Notorious for their slow digestion, giant isopod eating habits can range from swiftly and viciously eating the face off a live shark, to not eating at all for five years. (Sometimes when their keepers try to feed them, the giant isopods will just play with their food and pretend to eat.) Some responses from Japanese citizens on hearing about the happy event: “This is the most relaxing news I’ve heard in months.” “Giant isopods make people happy by pooping. I want to be a giant isopod.” Giant isopods previously on Metafilter.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl (30 comments total)

We've all been there.
posted by condour75 at 2:20 PM on June 6, 2020 [15 favorites]

It is nice to know that people are charmed by something pooping, and terrifying to know that there are giant sea bugs that eat shark faces.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:21 PM on June 6, 2020 [11 favorites]

I'm kinda stuck on this line: "eating the face off a shark."
posted by doctornemo at 2:28 PM on June 6, 2020 [11 favorites]

Awesome.
posted by Fizz at 2:40 PM on June 6, 2020

I'm kinda stuck on this line: "eating the face off a shark."

Wait til you see the video...
posted by acidnova at 2:40 PM on June 6, 2020

I've always considered them terrifying. The shark video does not change that.
posted by Splunge at 2:48 PM on June 6, 2020

~I'm kinda stuck on this line: "eating the face off a shark."
~Wait til you see the video...

According to the article, these things grow up to a half meter in length. So, how small is that shark getting its face eaten? Or, was that a freakishly large isopod? Nightmarish scene, regardless.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:05 PM on June 6, 2020 [1 favorite]

Giant isopods make people happy by pooping

Thank you.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:07 PM on June 6, 2020 [3 favorites]

I won’t lie, Greg_Ace, your comment in that thread encouraged me to post this!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 3:11 PM on June 6, 2020 [4 favorites]

They like you very much. But they are not the hell your isopods.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 3:25 PM on June 6, 2020 [8 favorites]

Everyone poops! Eventually.
posted by The otter lady at 3:27 PM on June 6, 2020 [2 favorites]

I wish I’d been a bit more respectful to pillbugs when I was a child ...
posted by drivingmenuts at 4:05 PM on June 6, 2020 [2 favorites]

This somehow manages to be the weirdest headline I've ever seen, EVEN IN 2020.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:21 PM on June 6, 2020 [4 favorites]

The shit heard 'round the world.
posted by biogeo at 5:26 PM on June 6, 2020 [2 favorites]

Moreover, the feces was found to contain scales of a fish not served by the aquarium.

This means that the food which went into making this poop must have been consumed over seven years ago, before they came to the aquarium.

I haven't been so amazed by a metabolism since I found out painted turtles slow down so much in the winter they can spend months under the ice only breathing through their skin.
posted by Mitheral at 5:58 PM on June 6, 2020 [5 favorites]

Has the guy picking up the isopod in the lower video seen the shark-eater in the upper video? Because I will not be picking one of those critters up, ever.

And wow. Wow. Giant pillbugs. Wow.
posted by allthinky at 6:26 PM on June 6, 2020 [4 favorites]

"Shit happens" overcomes challenge to its universal truth.
posted by praemunire at 6:42 PM on June 6, 2020 [1 favorite]

Now I understand my grandmother's constant question after going to the toilet: "did you poop"?
posted by zengargoyle at 7:20 PM on June 6, 2020

That shark vid, what the deep crawling hell was that!?

*gets to bottom of article*

Related stories: https://soranews24.com/2015/03/27/oh-yummy-new-snack-to-hit-japan-giant-isopod-senbei-rice-crackers/

Wait what no

Next related story https://soranews24.com/2016/06/22/would-you-drink-tea-made-by-a-giant-isopod-%e3%80%90pics%e3%80%91/

Japan stop wtf please have I wronged you in some way

Next: https://soranews24.com/2014/04/10/japanese-company-creates-iphone-case-using-a-dead-marine-isopod/

this is how you get kaiju.

https://soranews24.com/2014/03/12/dinner-is-served-get-your-teeth-into-giant-marine-isopods-tastes-just-like-chicken/

help I need an adult
posted by loquacious at 8:32 PM on June 6, 2020 [11 favorites]

I keep thinking that it would have been even longer if it had constipation. Or maybe it did have constipation. How could you tell?
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 8:58 PM on June 6, 2020

No thread about giant isopods is complete without mentioning that there's one species that parasitizes fish by eating their tongues and taking their place in the fish's mouth. In the previous thread this was fulfilled by exogenous with links so I'll just reference that excellent comment again. Click for the links, stay for the fact that evidently pharm found one by accident.
posted by biogeo at 10:30 PM on June 6, 2020 [7 favorites]

@biogeo That is what happens when you let Charlie Stross write nature’s rules.
posted by drivingmenuts at 12:10 AM on June 7, 2020 [3 favorites]

'I never thought giant isopods would eat MY face,' sobs shark who voted for the Giant Isopods Eating Shark's Faces Party.
posted by ambrosen at 12:52 AM on June 7, 2020 [23 favorites]

“Like I told you, what I said, [eat] your face right off your head.“
posted by terrapin at 6:04 AM on June 7, 2020 [1 favorite]

Look, reminding me of the time I jumped half-way across the kitchen, knife in hand, after cutting open a fish to find its tongue had been replaced by a minor offspring of Cthulhu is unkind, OK?

It was such a visceral reaction; an atavistic "Nope!" coming straight from some ancient part of my brain.
posted by pharm at 6:25 AM on June 7, 2020 [10 favorites]

(I jest, at least mostly. So long as I don’t get any more face-huggers turning up in my food...)
posted by pharm at 6:32 AM on June 7, 2020 [1 favorite]

Just as a reminder, giant isopods should not be used in your weekly isopod cleanses.
posted by Ashwagandha at 9:54 AM on June 7, 2020 [1 favorite]

From Ashwagandha's link: When you consume the isopods, they will remain alive for a relatively short time, but during that time they will do a great job of cleaning your complete GI system. You can even feel them moving and cleaning inside you.

WT ever-loving F.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:55 AM on June 7, 2020 [2 favorites]

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE OH HELL NOPE
posted by loquacious at 2:44 PM on June 7, 2020 [3 favorites]

I guess this would be a bad time to bring up Barry Levinson's 2012 found-footage horror film The Bay, wouldn't it?
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:57 AM on June 8, 2020 [1 favorite]