Yes, Black Girls Are Allowed To Be Soft
July 1, 2020 9:43 AM   Subscribe

“See?” People say, after a Black woman dares to feel anger after experiencing the one-thousandth micro-aggression of the day. “She’s so aggressive.” To the racist world, the Black woman is not soft. - @Ashia Monet
posted by simmering octagon (3 comments total) 21 users marked this as a favorite
 
I personally became aware of this particular kind of misogyny (misogynoir) on tumblr of all place (it can be good if you follow the right people) and the weight of it hit me in the face. A very glaring sign of my own privilege. "feminism", to young white me, meant being strong and brave and aggressive and independent, or even foolish and irrational and risky. Every character trait that was denied to me as a young girl growing up, turning myself into that, that meant I was feminist. It had never dawned one me, up until that point around 9 years ago, that other girls were denied different things.

I'm still learning this. I'll never stop learning this. It's not just being able to be the things that were kept from you. The way that femininity is tied to innocence, and how that makes black women culpable in white people's eyes. In my eyes. I now seek out different kinds of feminist thought. Men writing female badasses isn't helping to liberate me or any woman.

I loved The Help, but now I'm thinking of it in a different light. It was written by a white woman. Is this revenge black face? Satisfying the need for justice, but allowing black women to be our angry characters. We can still feel good about watching someone get put in their place, but we don't have to do any work. Are we contributing to the forced aggrification of black women? I'm just thinking out loud here, I don't expect anyone to answer me, i'm just trying to constantly evaluate my point of view
posted by FirstMateKate at 11:22 AM on July 1, 2020 [4 favorites]


This is a great essay. I recommend following her Instagram link at the end for some beautiful portraits of "softness".
posted by lollusc at 9:51 PM on July 1, 2020


Thank you for posting this.
posted by thetarium at 12:23 PM on July 4, 2020


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