Horrible Mouth Parts
August 19, 2020 7:34 PM   Subscribe

 
if nobody reads this monstrous post I fully understand.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:43 PM on August 19 [5 favorites]


I am fascinated. TIL that those little mouth parts are also used for rubbing its eyestalks in a very anthropomorphic way.
posted by bcd at 7:50 PM on August 19 [12 favorites]


Just gonna use my prehensile mouth parts to rub my stalk-eyes, and then I'm gonna daintily nibble on this onion ring with a knife and fork my humongous chela.
posted by figurant at 7:50 PM on August 19 [7 favorites]


Uh, no. This is crabbiggotry. You should be acrabshamed!

Crab 1 and 3 is clearly a Boss Crab, and nobody's effing "my pet".

Banana Crab displays subordinate/bottom tendencies, and may well identify as a "pet", but evidence is insufficient to judge. For now, they are just "crab".

Chip Crab 4 is simply a gourmand. Finicky. Worldly. Eager to welcome your gastronomic offerings. ...but beholden to no man/crab.
posted by Anoplura at 7:55 PM on August 19 [5 favorites]


The first video makes me feel like noodles were custom-designed for crabs. Huh. Who knew?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:15 PM on August 19 [2 favorites]


I started with onion ring crab, and with the fan hum and ticking clock sounds building tension, I was really anticipating a Cookie Monster type snatch-and-OMNOMNOM.
posted by bartleby at 8:28 PM on August 19


The plural on 'chips' is a bit of a reach, but I greatly enjoyed watching nonetheless.
posted by not_that_epiphanius at 8:41 PM on August 19 [1 favorite]


Tampopo (1985)
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 9:09 PM on August 19 [5 favorites]


Crabs are cute in an exoskeletal, arthropic way. Fun to watch, tough to cuddle. The perfect pet for a socially-distanced world.
posted by kinnakeet at 9:21 PM on August 19 [2 favorites]


"Horrible Mouth Parts" sounds like the title of a book of conceptual humor by Steve Martin. Or maybe a performance-art piece by Isabella Rossellini.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:50 PM on August 19 [8 favorites]


Wow. I thought this would be fun to watch and I made a :D face of delight when it grabbed the noodles then a full body D: spasm when I saw its scary mouth and then I had to stop the video. INTENSE 5 SECONDS! Be forewarned that if you have any kind of Arthropod Problems these videos may not be for you.
posted by potrzebie at 9:53 PM on August 19 [5 favorites]


The Hermit Crab
Mary Oliver

Once I looked inside
the darkness
of a shell folded like a pastry
and there was a fancy face—

or almost a face—
it turned away
and frisked up its brawny forearms
so quickly

against the light
and my looking in
I scarcely had time to see it,
gleaming

under the pure white roof
of old calcium...


that's how it starts anyway...with a glimpse of how the old story give shape to special forms

then again there is this
posted by Caxton1476 at 10:00 PM on August 19 [4 favorites]


"Horrible Mouth Parts" sounds like the title of a book of conceptual humor by Steve Martin.

I have a copy or two of Cruel Shoes on my shelves, guaranteed.
posted by hippybear at 11:40 PM on August 19 [1 favorite]


The noodle eating one is like some kind of feeding into a machine. I guess the crab can't seen beneath it much at all, so it is eating these noodles mostly by feel and blind otherwise?

Please correct me if I'm wrong. The whole situation is so strange to me. I'm not even sure I want to watch any of the other videos. But I do. But I don't. Please hope me.
posted by hippybear at 11:44 PM on August 19 [1 favorite]


I find all the videos quite horrific, but they are also the most intimate footage of a crab eating that I’ve seen. (Granted, I have never googled for “crab eating”)

If you want some genuine cute crab content, I recommend ”True Facts About The Sand Bubbler Crab”
posted by Going To Maine at 12:11 AM on August 20 [5 favorites]


I have a hell of a time eating with chopsticks too.
posted by quazichimp at 12:16 AM on August 20 [2 favorites]


Claiming "Horrible Mouth Parts" for my new band name (we mostly just scream into the void)

I was impressed by the banana eating. Can't grab it to take bites, but can shave off pieces.

My biggest question from all this is the "pet" part of the crab. Does the crab recognize the owner as his owner. Does he prefer his owner to other people? What kind of games do they play? Is the crab a good snuggler at night? Do crabs like chin scritches?
posted by LizBoBiz at 1:36 AM on August 20 [1 favorite]


"My Dinner With Anthropod"
posted by chavenet at 1:42 AM on August 20 [9 favorites]


"Rosencrab and Guildenshrimp are Fed"
posted by JohnFromGR at 3:05 AM on August 20 [16 favorites]


Somewhat unrelated, but let’s not forget that nature loves crabs.
posted by Going To Maine at 4:13 AM on August 20


I kind of love the way that their eye stalks have these swiss army-style depressions to tuck them neatly away for stowage.

Also, noting that the way the crab handled the onion ring made me wonder if they can't see their food as they're eating it. It seemed to be feeling around with its right claw for the other end of the onion ring.
posted by pykrete jungle at 5:52 AM on August 20


I can't believe no one has linked to the best crab eating video ever shot. "Like popcorn!"
posted by drlith at 5:54 AM on August 20 [3 favorites]


The little critters of nature.
They don't know that they're ugly.
posted by Grangousier at 6:36 AM on August 20 [3 favorites]


Hermit crabs are kinda cute, from a distance.
posted by tommasz at 7:06 AM on August 20


Wow truly surprised at the crab hate. IDK I seem to have been born with some special power to see all animals as cute and babies
posted by FirstMateKate at 8:10 AM on August 20 [4 favorites]


Hermit crabs are kinda cute, from a distance

Hermit crabs are cute up close as well, as.seen in this video of shell-swapping.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:15 AM on August 20 [6 favorites]


ne of the suggested videos I got after watching these was - I feed cheese to my pet crab. I'm not sure if crabs like cheese and based on the video I'm not sure if the crab was entirely sure. In any case I support everybody involved and especially Going to Maine for introducing me to the world of pet crabs eating things.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:44 AM on August 20


I was kind of expecting servo/stepper motor whine as it moved about, but I've probably watched too many robotics vids.
posted by scruss at 9:47 AM on August 20 [1 favorite]


Can he eat this next?
posted by Cardinal Fang at 10:28 AM on August 20


They are just Trying their Best.
posted by merriment at 10:40 AM on August 20 [1 favorite]


Those were fascinating. I'm genuinely sorry for everyone who finds crab mouth parts disturbing; I find it really amazing to watch even simple animal behavior like this up close. You can learn so much about what it might be like to be a crab, or at least how they work.

Makes me jealous of my colleagues who work on the neurophysiology of the crustacean feeding circuitry. (I was already a bit jealous of them though. Not only do they work on a cool system but they get to hang out with Eve Marder.)
posted by biogeo at 2:54 PM on August 20 [1 favorite]


Best ever video of crabs Eating, yes. But for CGI, I give you...Crab Rave.
posted by bartleby at 3:16 PM on August 20


Those crabs don’t have mouth parts!
posted by Going To Maine at 3:57 PM on August 20 [2 favorites]


They dance...because they cannot scream.
-squats, waves arms-
posted by bartleby at 4:51 PM on August 20 [2 favorites]


thanks, I love them
posted by ferret branca at 8:13 PM on August 20


also I love the Eliot tag!
posted by ferret branca at 8:44 PM on August 20


They are cute! I can almost ignore the eight legs because their eyestalks are so funny.

I imagine this is like, a crab raised for food that the kid begged his parents not to eat?
posted by batter_my_heart at 2:27 PM on August 22


« Older The holy founding text of The Church of the Next...   |   Frequency 101, Wherein Nancy and Jeff Hear Things... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments