Bannon Indicted
August 20, 2020 11:29 AM Subscribe
Steve Bannon indicted in scheme to defraud donors to campaign pledging to build border wall.
Federal prosecutors in New York announced Thursday that Steve Bannon, President Trump's former White House chief strategist, has been indicted along with three others for allegedly defrauding donors to a $25 million fundraising campaign to build a wall along the southern border.
Hahahahaha
posted by supercrayon at 11:31 AM on August 20, 2020 [19 favorites]
posted by supercrayon at 11:31 AM on August 20, 2020 [19 favorites]
Oh and the pièce de résistance?
Bannon was taken into custody by agents from the U.S. Postal Serviceposted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 11:33 AM on August 20, 2020 [178 favorites]
I want to celebrate this, but I have no faith that any justice will be done
posted by nubs at 11:33 AM on August 20, 2020 [18 favorites]
posted by nubs at 11:33 AM on August 20, 2020 [18 favorites]
Link to the indictment
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 11:35 AM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 11:35 AM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
It says a lot about 2020 that “someone I saw play for the Phillies when I was on a date in high school is involved in a scandal where his co-conspirator was arrested on a yacht by agents from the post office” isn’t even in my top 50 weirdest things about this year.
posted by okayokayigive at 11:36 AM on August 20, 2020 [97 favorites]
posted by okayokayigive at 11:36 AM on August 20, 2020 [97 favorites]
Federal agents arrested Bannon on a boat off the coast of Connecticut.
It was, naturally, a yacht. A big fucker. I don't have any faith that justice will be done but I enjoyed the hell out of hearing about this anyway. Will take my pleasure where I can find it.
posted by Bella Donna at 11:36 AM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
It was, naturally, a yacht. A big fucker. I don't have any faith that justice will be done but I enjoyed the hell out of hearing about this anyway. Will take my pleasure where I can find it.
posted by Bella Donna at 11:36 AM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
lol at these grifters, lol at the racists who got conned, lol at Steve Bannon getting hauled in by post office cops, and lol at the fact that they're all going to get pardoned anyway. Or as one of the crooks on page 12 of the indictment put it, "Better than you or me lol"
posted by theodolite at 11:37 AM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 11:37 AM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
As Paul Krugman put it on Twitter, this is like getting Al Capone on tax evasion, but we'll take it.
posted by PhineasGage at 11:37 AM on August 20, 2020 [15 favorites]
posted by PhineasGage at 11:37 AM on August 20, 2020 [15 favorites]
"Bannon was taken into custody by agents from the U.S. Postal Service off the coast of Connecticut on a 152-foot yacht registered to exiled Chinese billionaire Guo Wengui, law enforcement sources said."
I don't know what I expected...
posted by kaibutsu at 11:38 AM on August 20, 2020 [35 favorites]
I don't know what I expected...
posted by kaibutsu at 11:38 AM on August 20, 2020 [35 favorites]
All we need now is for Mexico to offer to pay for their incarceration.
posted by chavenet at 11:41 AM on August 20, 2020 [42 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 11:41 AM on August 20, 2020 [42 favorites]
Postal police? Daring yacht arrests? I think we all owe The Writers a big apology for our earlier complaints.
posted by mittens at 11:42 AM on August 20, 2020 [78 favorites]
posted by mittens at 11:42 AM on August 20, 2020 [78 favorites]
Kolfage is a terrible person. Just a huge grifter who has done this over and over and over again, and has gotten away with defrauding military hospitals, service dog organizations, PTSD organizations, etc. etc for years. Glad they got him.
posted by all about eevee at 11:44 AM on August 20, 2020 [23 favorites]
posted by all about eevee at 11:44 AM on August 20, 2020 [23 favorites]
In my mind-palace version of this all the agents storming the boat have blue postal uniforms and sensible shorts on.
posted by selfnoise at 11:45 AM on August 20, 2020 [112 favorites]
posted by selfnoise at 11:45 AM on August 20, 2020 [112 favorites]
I found out about the US Postal Police, and them having their own boats, at about the same time. My boss also swears he saw that there used to be a Cops-style reality show about Postal Police.
I don't know which is better - that Bannon was taken down by US Postal Service Police, or that US Postal Service Police are a thing that exists.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:45 AM on August 20, 2020 [23 favorites]
I don't know which is better - that Bannon was taken down by US Postal Service Police, or that US Postal Service Police are a thing that exists.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:45 AM on August 20, 2020 [23 favorites]
If only Wilford Brimley was still alive to interrogate him.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 11:47 AM on August 20, 2020 [13 favorites]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 11:47 AM on August 20, 2020 [13 favorites]
as pointed out by everyone on Twitter, this whole thing is beat-for-beat the pilot episode of Arrested Development
posted by BungaDunga at 11:49 AM on August 20, 2020 [83 favorites]
posted by BungaDunga at 11:49 AM on August 20, 2020 [83 favorites]
Have they shared the tracking number for this package, I know a lot of us want to follow along.
posted by mhoye at 11:52 AM on August 20, 2020 [22 favorites]
posted by mhoye at 11:52 AM on August 20, 2020 [22 favorites]
Curt Schilling? Rhode Island would like to talk to him about 38 Studios... I think at this point we can call him the Music Man Baseball Man.
posted by Nanukthedog at 11:52 AM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by Nanukthedog at 11:52 AM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
Erik Prince is also on the board of this thing. Has he been implicated?
posted by Selena777 at 11:54 AM on August 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
posted by Selena777 at 11:54 AM on August 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
Federal agents arrested Bannon on a boat off the coast of Connecticut.
According to the indictment, Kolfage, who organized the campaign, received more than $350,000 ... which he then used to pay for ... payments toward a boat...
Boater fraud.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 11:56 AM on August 20, 2020 [70 favorites]
According to the indictment, Kolfage, who organized the campaign, received more than $350,000 ... which he then used to pay for ... payments toward a boat...
Boater fraud.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 11:56 AM on August 20, 2020 [70 favorites]
Hey selfnoise, don't forget to imagine the agents wearing those white pith helmets, too.
posted by PhineasGage at 11:58 AM on August 20, 2020 [18 favorites]
posted by PhineasGage at 11:58 AM on August 20, 2020 [18 favorites]
Roger Stone sued yacht owner Guo Wengui for defamation last year. He’s also a Mar-a-Lago member. Once the administration learned that they worked to prevent his extradition to China. He’s also accused, confusingly, of being a Chinese spy. These shitheels all run in the same circles.
posted by misterpatrick at 12:01 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
posted by misterpatrick at 12:01 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
Plz tell me there was an agent named Jack Danger was on that boat.
Also plz integrate this in the next B99 season.
posted by WaterAndPixels at 12:03 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
Also plz integrate this in the next B99 season.
posted by WaterAndPixels at 12:03 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
And of course, the Trump White House is already in "Bannon? Never heard of him" mode:
"President Trump has not been involved with Steve Bannon since the campaign and the early part of the Administration, and he does not know the people involved with this project."posted by star gentle uterus at 12:03 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
> Bella Donna: "It was, naturally, a yacht."
Not just any yacht. It was the Lady May, a yacht belonging to exiled and/or fugitive Chinese billionaire Guo Wengui. And who is Guo Wengui (aka Miles Kwok)? He seems to be kind of a ... complicated guy. He was previously in the news for his self-imposed exile from China allegedly due to calling out corruption in the Chinese government and elites. He is also apparently under investigation -- along with Bannon -- for some kind of financial shenanigans related to fund-raising for some media venture called GTV Media Group that they started together (seemingly separate from the Build the Wall scam). A bit of googling for GTV Media brings up a police blotter entry from July in the Mercer Island Reporter, a local newspaper for a (kinda rich) town in the Seattle area where some reported investing $500K into the venture but apparently didn't get anything in return (?), as well as a warning from the British Columbia Securities Commission that neither GTV Media Group nor its parent company, Saraca Media Group were registered to sell securities in BC.
Basically, it seems that the grifts run real, real deep with these guys.
posted by mhum at 12:04 PM on August 20, 2020 [19 favorites]
Not just any yacht. It was the Lady May, a yacht belonging to exiled and/or fugitive Chinese billionaire Guo Wengui. And who is Guo Wengui (aka Miles Kwok)? He seems to be kind of a ... complicated guy. He was previously in the news for his self-imposed exile from China allegedly due to calling out corruption in the Chinese government and elites. He is also apparently under investigation -- along with Bannon -- for some kind of financial shenanigans related to fund-raising for some media venture called GTV Media Group that they started together (seemingly separate from the Build the Wall scam). A bit of googling for GTV Media brings up a police blotter entry from July in the Mercer Island Reporter, a local newspaper for a (kinda rich) town in the Seattle area where some reported investing $500K into the venture but apparently didn't get anything in return (?), as well as a warning from the British Columbia Securities Commission that neither GTV Media Group nor its parent company, Saraca Media Group were registered to sell securities in BC.
Basically, it seems that the grifts run real, real deep with these guys.
posted by mhum at 12:04 PM on August 20, 2020 [19 favorites]
I didn't even know the post office had a crack commando unit
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 12:04 PM on August 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 12:04 PM on August 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
Oh wait, forgot to mention that while Guo claims that he's in exile because of taking on corruption in the Chinese government, China claims that Guo is the one guilty of corruption (via bribery) and the Hong Kong police were also investigating him for money laundering.
posted by mhum at 12:07 PM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by mhum at 12:07 PM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
I know a lot of you will joke about this but the mods should really stamp that out. Let’s not push the envelope and strive to keep this thread first class.
posted by dr_dank at 12:13 PM on August 20, 2020 [97 favorites]
posted by dr_dank at 12:13 PM on August 20, 2020 [97 favorites]
as pointed out by everyone on Twitter, this whole thing is beat-for-beat the pilot episode of Arrested Development
Stealing money to buy land to build a border wall is also season 4 (the first Netflix season). I guess at least they have good taste in TV?
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:15 PM on August 20, 2020 [11 favorites]
Stealing money to buy land to build a border wall is also season 4 (the first Netflix season). I guess at least they have good taste in TV?
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:15 PM on August 20, 2020 [11 favorites]
In my mind-palace version of this all the agents storming the boat have blue postal uniforms and sensible shorts on.
And my mind-palace version continues this and has them looking like the reunited cast of "Reno 911", aka fabulous.
posted by Bill Watches Movies Podcast at 12:18 PM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
And my mind-palace version continues this and has them looking like the reunited cast of "Reno 911", aka fabulous.
posted by Bill Watches Movies Podcast at 12:18 PM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
Too bad that former-Sheriff Clarke, Erik Prince, Kobach and Schilling couldn’t be indicted, too.
Sure, they’d be pardoned in the lame duck interval after the election. But it’s be great to have those turds named formally in the indictment and have to sweat a little.
posted by darkstar at 12:20 PM on August 20, 2020
Sure, they’d be pardoned in the lame duck interval after the election. But it’s be great to have those turds named formally in the indictment and have to sweat a little.
posted by darkstar at 12:20 PM on August 20, 2020
Post office, corruption, international conspiracy, a giant yacht - this Thomas Pynchon novel is proceeding according to expectations. No reference wasted.
posted by doctornemo at 12:21 PM on August 20, 2020 [17 favorites]
posted by doctornemo at 12:21 PM on August 20, 2020 [17 favorites]
I don't know which is better - that Bannon was taken down by US Postal Service Police, or that US Postal Service Police are a thing that exists.
The U.S. Postal Inspection Service goes all the way back to when Postmaster General Benjamin Franklin founded the colonial postal service. It became the first federal law enforcement service because people considered the security and integrity of the postal system to be of primary national importance.
It still should be today. Can you imagine a privatized FedEx or UPS caring about mail fraud scams of the public? About as much as Facebook cares about frauds on the public.
posted by JackFlash at 12:22 PM on August 20, 2020 [88 favorites]
The U.S. Postal Inspection Service goes all the way back to when Postmaster General Benjamin Franklin founded the colonial postal service. It became the first federal law enforcement service because people considered the security and integrity of the postal system to be of primary national importance.
It still should be today. Can you imagine a privatized FedEx or UPS caring about mail fraud scams of the public? About as much as Facebook cares about frauds on the public.
posted by JackFlash at 12:22 PM on August 20, 2020 [88 favorites]
had a summer job during high school -- way back in the before before time -- for the u.s. postal inspection service.
posted by 20 year lurk at 12:22 PM on August 20, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by 20 year lurk at 12:22 PM on August 20, 2020 [4 favorites]
dr_dank, well played. You almost had me.
posted by biogeo at 12:23 PM on August 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
posted by biogeo at 12:23 PM on August 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
Too bad that former-Sheriff Clarke, Erik Prince, Kobach and Schilling couldn’t be indicted, too.
Yet.
Sure, they’d be pardoned in the lame duck interval after the election.
Theres no reason to believe they'll have been convicted by Jan 20th, after all the wheels of justice turn slowly (when at all).
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 12:23 PM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
Yet.
Sure, they’d be pardoned in the lame duck interval after the election.
Theres no reason to believe they'll have been convicted by Jan 20th, after all the wheels of justice turn slowly (when at all).
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 12:23 PM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
Hey selfnoise, don't forget to imagine the agents wearing those white pith helmets, too.
And now I'm picturing Chidi as one of those agents at the arrest and that actually makes EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS EVEN BETTER.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:28 PM on August 20, 2020 [32 favorites]
And now I'm picturing Chidi as one of those agents at the arrest and that actually makes EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS EVEN BETTER.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:28 PM on August 20, 2020 [32 favorites]
I don't know which is better - that Bannon was taken down by US Postal Service Police, or that US Postal Service Police are a thing that exists.
As my sister (a USPS Postal Clerk) informed me this morning, this was the Postal Investigative Service (who you definitely don't want to cross). The Postal Police surveil and investigate postal employees.
posted by dforemsky at 12:35 PM on August 20, 2020 [18 favorites]
As my sister (a USPS Postal Clerk) informed me this morning, this was the Postal Investigative Service (who you definitely don't want to cross). The Postal Police surveil and investigate postal employees.
posted by dforemsky at 12:35 PM on August 20, 2020 [18 favorites]
this was the Postal Investigative Service (who you definitely don't want to cross)
Could this be the next NCIS? I mean, we have to do something about the acronym (PIS), but I think I would watch it.
posted by nubs at 12:38 PM on August 20, 2020 [12 favorites]
Could this be the next NCIS? I mean, we have to do something about the acronym (PIS), but I think I would watch it.
posted by nubs at 12:38 PM on August 20, 2020 [12 favorites]
The mandate for the mail cops is surprisingly broad. They also have a press release on the arrests.
posted by cardboard at 12:39 PM on August 20, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by cardboard at 12:39 PM on August 20, 2020 [4 favorites]
He's gonna need a specialist in maritime law.
You'rrrrrre…a…CROOK, Captain Steve
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 12:39 PM on August 20, 2020 [11 favorites]
You'rrrrrre…a…CROOK, Captain Steve
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 12:39 PM on August 20, 2020 [11 favorites]
While this is a fresh story, I admit I am still left with some questions:
Timing this arrest before an election is terrible optics for Trump's re-election efforts. Which is great! But I wonder what the Trump supporters who gave money to Bannon's GoFundMe think? Do they feel betrayed or is it just water under the bridge?
Were any of the donors associated with the Trump administration, NRA, or Russia, as part of a larger conspiracy to launder money to Bannon and other party insiders?
Is GoFundMe liable for offering a platform for a fraudulent campaign on this scale? Is the USPS or any state gov't AG looking into GoFundMe's practices?
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:39 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Timing this arrest before an election is terrible optics for Trump's re-election efforts. Which is great! But I wonder what the Trump supporters who gave money to Bannon's GoFundMe think? Do they feel betrayed or is it just water under the bridge?
Were any of the donors associated with the Trump administration, NRA, or Russia, as part of a larger conspiracy to launder money to Bannon and other party insiders?
Is GoFundMe liable for offering a platform for a fraudulent campaign on this scale? Is the USPS or any state gov't AG looking into GoFundMe's practices?
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:39 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
we have to do something about the acronym (PIS), but I think I would watch it
Trump would, too, I imagine.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:40 PM on August 20, 2020 [8 favorites]
Trump would, too, I imagine.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:40 PM on August 20, 2020 [8 favorites]
Theres no reason to believe they'll have been convicted by Jan 20th, after all the wheels of justice turn slowly (when at all).
A person can be pardoned without having been convicted (or even indicted). For example, Ford's pardon of Nixon and Ex parte Garland.
Now I think that's bullshit and that Ex parte Garland was motivated by white supremacy, being a 5-4 decision that allowed a bunch of Confederate traitors to become federal attorneys again, in part by holding that the pardon power was virtually unlimited. But here we are.
posted by jedicus at 12:42 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
A person can be pardoned without having been convicted (or even indicted). For example, Ford's pardon of Nixon and Ex parte Garland.
Now I think that's bullshit and that Ex parte Garland was motivated by white supremacy, being a 5-4 decision that allowed a bunch of Confederate traitors to become federal attorneys again, in part by holding that the pardon power was virtually unlimited. But here we are.
posted by jedicus at 12:42 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
But I wonder what the Trump supporters who gave money to Bannon's GoFundMe think? Do they feel betrayed or is it just water under the bridge?
Cognitive dissonance is their friend here. One or two of them might have the scales pulled from their eyes, to some extent, but the others will latch on to someone or something else whose fault it is and blame them to their hearts' content.
posted by Countess Elena at 12:42 PM on August 20, 2020 [9 favorites]
Cognitive dissonance is their friend here. One or two of them might have the scales pulled from their eyes, to some extent, but the others will latch on to someone or something else whose fault it is and blame them to their hearts' content.
posted by Countess Elena at 12:42 PM on August 20, 2020 [9 favorites]
Empress, perhaps your boss was thinking of this?
I'm inclined to believe instead that he was thinking of this. which I also can't believe is a thing that exists.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:43 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
I'm inclined to believe instead that he was thinking of this. which I also can't believe is a thing that exists.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:43 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
(Also, my kokoro wish is that he should stay in custody without bail just so that he can serve some jail time for something before he is pardoned or otherwise weasels out of this, but this is not going to be the case.)
posted by Countess Elena at 12:45 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Countess Elena at 12:45 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Ray Walston, Luck Dragon: I didn't even know the post office had a crack commando unit
That's a sea-borne commando unit, thankyouverymuch.
(This postage/warrior cross-over makes me wonder if Navy SEALs are anything like Easter seals...)
posted by wenestvedt at 12:49 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
That's a sea-borne commando unit, thankyouverymuch.
(This postage/warrior cross-over makes me wonder if Navy SEALs are anything like Easter seals...)
posted by wenestvedt at 12:49 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
~whispers to self, “Please flip Bannon, please flip Bannon, please flip Bannon, please flip Bannon, please flip Bannon, please flip Bannon, please flip Bannon...
posted by Thorzdad at 12:49 PM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 12:49 PM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
Postal police? Daring yacht arrests? I think we all owe The Writers a big apology for our earlier complaints.
These plot points are useless without a car ramp launch and full aerial twist. Maybe they can wedge those into the transport sequence for the trial.
posted by flabdablet at 12:49 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
These plot points are useless without a car ramp launch and full aerial twist. Maybe they can wedge those into the transport sequence for the trial.
posted by flabdablet at 12:49 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
wonder if Navy SEALs are anything like Easter seals
Post Office SEALs cause press flap, film at 11
posted by flabdablet at 12:51 PM on August 20, 2020 [16 favorites]
Post Office SEALs cause press flap, film at 11
posted by flabdablet at 12:51 PM on August 20, 2020 [16 favorites]
I know a lot of you will joke about this but the mods should really stamp that out. Let’s not push the envelope and strive to keep this thread first class.
But delivering bulk-rate jokes is part and parcel of the Metafilter commenting package!
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:54 PM on August 20, 2020 [40 favorites]
But delivering bulk-rate jokes is part and parcel of the Metafilter commenting package!
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:54 PM on August 20, 2020 [40 favorites]
I have arrested
your crook
that was in
the big yacht
and which
you are probably
saving
by pardon
Forgive me
he was cirrhotic
so elite
and well jowl'd
posted by benzenedream at 12:58 PM on August 20, 2020 [83 favorites]
your crook
that was in
the big yacht
and which
you are probably
saving
by pardon
Forgive me
he was cirrhotic
so elite
and well jowl'd
posted by benzenedream at 12:58 PM on August 20, 2020 [83 favorites]
But I wonder what the Trump supporters who gave money to Bannon's GoFundMe think? Do they feel betrayed or is it just water under the bridge?
There's a powerful, enclosed, isolated conservative media ecosystem that ensures that prosecution of these grifts is viewed by Trump supporters as persecution by evil liberal elites. Trump supporters at this point exist entirely in a bunker mentality at war with a host of imagined enemies constantly trying to destroy them.
Each new revelation of criminal behavior by figures on the right/close to Trump is seen as yet more evidence of how powerful and evil the system set up against the right-wing heroes truly is. This is just more evidence of the liberal deep state trying to bring down Trump.
posted by star gentle uterus at 12:59 PM on August 20, 2020 [26 favorites]
There's a powerful, enclosed, isolated conservative media ecosystem that ensures that prosecution of these grifts is viewed by Trump supporters as persecution by evil liberal elites. Trump supporters at this point exist entirely in a bunker mentality at war with a host of imagined enemies constantly trying to destroy them.
Each new revelation of criminal behavior by figures on the right/close to Trump is seen as yet more evidence of how powerful and evil the system set up against the right-wing heroes truly is. This is just more evidence of the liberal deep state trying to bring down Trump.
posted by star gentle uterus at 12:59 PM on August 20, 2020 [26 favorites]
One of the stranger moments of the Pandemic era in NYC was in early June, when I looked up to see a line of planes flying up and down the Hudson trailing banners congratulating the "Federal State of New China." After some frantic googling, I found a live Youtube stream related to the planes with Guo sitting with Steve Bannon on the back of a yacht alongside the Statue of Liberty.
At that point in 2020, such an insane scene registered a brief laugh and a "welp" and then sort of faded into the rest of the blur and chaos of these last few months.
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 1:00 PM on August 20, 2020 [16 favorites]
At that point in 2020, such an insane scene registered a brief laugh and a "welp" and then sort of faded into the rest of the blur and chaos of these last few months.
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 1:00 PM on August 20, 2020 [16 favorites]
This has been the only good news in a long time and I'm gleefully taking it. That it was one of his stupidest, most transparent grifts that finally bit him and not his more serious crimes and destabilizing actions is just a little bit of zest on top of it all.
posted by Lonnrot at 1:05 PM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by Lonnrot at 1:05 PM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
Trump doesn't like Bannon anymore so would he really pardon him?
posted by Liquidwolf at 1:07 PM on August 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by Liquidwolf at 1:07 PM on August 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
Trump doesn't like Bannon anymore so would he really pardon him?
I'd say yes without question because, as Thorzdad notes above, if anyone has dirt on Trump and might flip, it's Bannon.
posted by star gentle uterus at 1:11 PM on August 20, 2020 [18 favorites]
I'd say yes without question because, as Thorzdad notes above, if anyone has dirt on Trump and might flip, it's Bannon.
posted by star gentle uterus at 1:11 PM on August 20, 2020 [18 favorites]
The New Yorker:
- The Stunning Predictability of Steve Bannon’s “We Build the Wall” Scam
- Isaac Chotiner interviews Bannonologist Joshua Green: "He would say, 'I am always smart enough not to be in the room.' If you remember the conversation at Trump Tower with the Russians in June of 2016, he wasn’t in the room. That was his shorthand for saying he was too clever to get caught doing anything illegal. And, at least according to the indictment today, that turned out not to be true."
posted by theodolite at 1:11 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
- The Stunning Predictability of Steve Bannon’s “We Build the Wall” Scam
- Isaac Chotiner interviews Bannonologist Joshua Green: "He would say, 'I am always smart enough not to be in the room.' If you remember the conversation at Trump Tower with the Russians in June of 2016, he wasn’t in the room. That was his shorthand for saying he was too clever to get caught doing anything illegal. And, at least according to the indictment today, that turned out not to be true."
posted by theodolite at 1:11 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
I'd say yes without question because, as Thorzdad notes above, if anyone has dirt on Trump and might flip, it's Bannon.
Oh right. Duh.
posted by Liquidwolf at 1:14 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
But I wonder what the Trump supporters who gave money to Bannon's GoFundMe think? Do they feel betrayed or is it just water under the bridge?
Oh, I'm sure Q will be along shortly to explain this is all part of the plan, y'see, the money laundering was needed to keep the Wall money away from the communist lefties in the federal government, and this arrest is actually a way to get Steve Bannon undercover in prison so he can find out which perverted Satanic lefties really killed Epstein. Or something.
I mean this was originally a crowdfunding aim of "raising money to donate to the United States Federal Government to build a wall". As though the thing holding back the government from building a border wall was that it just couldn't quite scrape together the cash, and was still a few million short after turning over the couch cushions. Eventually they shifted over to claiming it would be a privately-built wall, but still....the folks who donated to this thing are, at best, folks who saw their donations as a form of political protest, and at worst, are not folks with a firm grasp on reality already. I don't think many of the folks in either category will come to a sudden realization that right-wing grift is a full-blown industry in this country.
posted by mstokes650 at 1:17 PM on August 20, 2020 [11 favorites]
Oh, I'm sure Q will be along shortly to explain this is all part of the plan, y'see, the money laundering was needed to keep the Wall money away from the communist lefties in the federal government, and this arrest is actually a way to get Steve Bannon undercover in prison so he can find out which perverted Satanic lefties really killed Epstein. Or something.
I mean this was originally a crowdfunding aim of "raising money to donate to the United States Federal Government to build a wall". As though the thing holding back the government from building a border wall was that it just couldn't quite scrape together the cash, and was still a few million short after turning over the couch cushions. Eventually they shifted over to claiming it would be a privately-built wall, but still....the folks who donated to this thing are, at best, folks who saw their donations as a form of political protest, and at worst, are not folks with a firm grasp on reality already. I don't think many of the folks in either category will come to a sudden realization that right-wing grift is a full-blown industry in this country.
posted by mstokes650 at 1:17 PM on August 20, 2020 [11 favorites]
I remember reading somewhere that you don't want to mess with the US Postal Investigation Service - they're Federal Law enforcement agents with all the power that entails and when they get a lead to a potentially big bust that isn't going to the FBI, Secret Service, DEA or ATF they are relentless.
posted by PenDevil at 1:17 PM on August 20, 2020 [9 favorites]
posted by PenDevil at 1:17 PM on August 20, 2020 [9 favorites]
ctrl/f "Newman" -- zero hits.
Well then ...
+
"I had no idea that he was profiting from the work of industrious Jews"
posted by philip-random at 1:20 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Well then ...
+
"I had no idea that he was profiting from the work of industrious Jews"
posted by philip-random at 1:20 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
This is just to say
I am celebrating
the indictment
of these racist grifters
posted by hilaryjade at 1:28 PM on August 20, 2020 [8 favorites]
I am celebrating
the indictment
of these racist grifters
posted by hilaryjade at 1:28 PM on August 20, 2020 [8 favorites]
This is the weirdest Zelda game so far but I’m interested to see where it goes.
posted by curious nu at 1:30 PM on August 20, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by curious nu at 1:30 PM on August 20, 2020 [4 favorites]
Ahem...
Inspired by the tune, “Yo-ho!”
Inspired by the tune, “Yo-ho!”
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 1:38 PM on August 20, 2020 [34 favorites]
Bannon on a long yacht
Corrupt as fuck
When there on the dock
Comes a fleet of white trucks
BOOM go the doors
Out come the guns
Stormin’ up the gangplank
Nowhere to run
Heading for a cage for the crimes that you done
WE’RE THE US POSTAL SERVICE!
And it’s
Yo-ho, slap his ass in jail
Yet another Trump advisor
Yo-ho, slap his ass in jail
Then we go deliver the mail!
Oh,
What do you do with the corrupt racist?
What do you do with the corrupt racist?
What do you do with the corrupt racist?
Erly in the morning?
Way hay, off in handcuffs
Way hay, off in handcuffs
Way hay, off in handcuffs
One more Trump advisor
Put him in a room with lots of brown folk
Put him in a room with lots of brown folk
Put him in a room with lots of brown folk
Erly in the morning.
Way hay, off in handcuffs
Way hay, off in handcuffs
Way hay, off in handcuffs
One more Trump advisor
Put him in a cage, let him end his days there
Put him in a cage, let him end his days there
Put him in a cage, let him end his days there
Erly in the morning.
Way hay, off in handcuffs
Way hay, off in handcuffs
Way hay, off in handcuffs
One more Trump advisor
Epony-AWESOME!
posted by mollweide at 1:39 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by mollweide at 1:39 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
@cushbomb tweeted this on Sep 14, 2017.
posted by primal at 1:41 PM on August 20, 2020 [9 favorites]
Since Trump won't do it, we'll do it ourselves! Contribute to my GoFundME to Build the Wall! Help me buy a boat, uh, Make America Great!
To lose one campaign manager, Mr. Trump, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose two to federal indictments looks like criminality.
posted by MonkeyToes at 1:44 PM on August 20, 2020 [52 favorites]
posted by MonkeyToes at 1:44 PM on August 20, 2020 [52 favorites]
Remember back in June when Barr tried to fire the District Attorney for southern New York? Barr wanted to install one of his Trump loyal cronies but Berman refused to go quietly. Berman insisted that according to law that his Deputy District Attorney Audrey Strauss must fill the position until someone else was confirmed by the Senate.
Audrey Strauss is the one prosecuting Bannon and his accomplices. Barr wanted to head off this indictment which is why he tried to fire Berman in put in his own toady. The only reason you are seeing this indictment today is thanks to Berman's refusal leave without an honest replacement.
posted by JackFlash at 1:44 PM on August 20, 2020 [147 favorites]
Audrey Strauss is the one prosecuting Bannon and his accomplices. Barr wanted to head off this indictment which is why he tried to fire Berman in put in his own toady. The only reason you are seeing this indictment today is thanks to Berman's refusal leave without an honest replacement.
posted by JackFlash at 1:44 PM on August 20, 2020 [147 favorites]
Here's the Washington Post suggesting the same thing as JackFlash.
posted by Slothrup at 1:48 PM on August 20, 2020 [11 favorites]
posted by Slothrup at 1:48 PM on August 20, 2020 [11 favorites]
Could this be the next NCIS? I mean, we have to do something about the acronym (PIS), but I think I would watch it.
Heyyyy, the folks behind Brooklyn 99 have been doing a lot of public soul searching lately. I'd really enjoy a Brooklyn 99 about mail fraud.
posted by grandiloquiet at 1:49 PM on August 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
Heyyyy, the folks behind Brooklyn 99 have been doing a lot of public soul searching lately. I'd really enjoy a Brooklyn 99 about mail fraud.
posted by grandiloquiet at 1:49 PM on August 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
But delivering bulk-rate jokes is part and parcel of the Metafilter commenting package!
Book rate, Danno.
posted by y2karl at 2:01 PM on August 20, 2020 [39 favorites]
Book rate, Danno.
posted by y2karl at 2:01 PM on August 20, 2020 [39 favorites]
I sure hope someone is keeping a list of Trump and Barr's little cronies, so they can be ushered out into alternative employment away from the levers of power at the earliest possible opportunity.
E.g. Barr went after the SDNY DA (Berman) presumably because he wanted to kill their ongoing investigations—his mechanism for doing that was going to be installing Craig Carpenito in Berman's place. Berman didn't allow this to happen, commendably, and we got today's indictment likely to his credit. Score. But the loose end is Carpenito—Barr outed him as corrupt (or corruptible; at best open to coercion), and he's still sitting pretty as a US Attorney.
It's people like him who need to be kept track of.
posted by Kadin2048 at 2:02 PM on August 20, 2020 [19 favorites]
E.g. Barr went after the SDNY DA (Berman) presumably because he wanted to kill their ongoing investigations—his mechanism for doing that was going to be installing Craig Carpenito in Berman's place. Berman didn't allow this to happen, commendably, and we got today's indictment likely to his credit. Score. But the loose end is Carpenito—Barr outed him as corrupt (or corruptible; at best open to coercion), and he's still sitting pretty as a US Attorney.
It's people like him who need to be kept track of.
posted by Kadin2048 at 2:02 PM on August 20, 2020 [19 favorites]
Each new revelation of criminal behavior by figures on the right/close to Trump is seen as yet more evidence of how powerful and evil the system set up against the right-wing heroes truly is. This is just more evidence of the liberal deep state trying to bring down Trump.
There's also the more brazen culties, like the (very) close relative of mine who LITERALLY said "We NEED a criminal in the White House."
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:04 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
There's also the more brazen culties, like the (very) close relative of mine who LITERALLY said "We NEED a criminal in the White House."
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:04 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
We gotta get these guys out of power, or else I can tell you what the future will look like: a boot is on a human face, and it
forever stamps.
posted by biogeo at 2:05 PM on August 20, 2020 [55 favorites]
forever stamps.
posted by biogeo at 2:05 PM on August 20, 2020 [55 favorites]
be careful lionizing the sexy cops with sensible shorts storming a grift yacht: these postal cops, like many other cops, are deeply rooted in nasty historical garbage. They were Anthony Comstock's anti-porn goons back in the day and were very good at their job.
posted by Sauce Trough at 2:07 PM on August 20, 2020 [23 favorites]
posted by Sauce Trough at 2:07 PM on August 20, 2020 [23 favorites]
if anyone has dirt on Trump and might flip, it’s Bannon
Well luckily he is safely locked away now, away from all harm. His head full of compromising information is just as safe as Epstein’s was.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:13 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
Well luckily he is safely locked away now, away from all harm. His head full of compromising information is just as safe as Epstein’s was.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:13 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
I hope something really actually comes of this indictment, that fckn Nazi steve bannon. The one time I had a brief brush with the USPIS was because a 'postal customer' hurled racist and sexist pejoratives at me while I was delivering on the street. I didn't actually meet the agent, but I wrote up a statement about the incident that was forwarded to them as part of an investigation. In the hiring process for becoming a letter carrier, the hiring managers really emphasize that one act with honesty and dignity on the job (and while in uniform tbh) lest you come under the scrutiny of these highly trained and armed agents that have such a high level of access to like, almost everything? Something like that, is my lasting hazy impression. As someone who is afraid of and loathes the police, these agents doubly scared the crap out of me even though in my case I guess they were on my side. Being a letter carrier was fun and cool but it also was such a bummer.
Anyway, suck it bannon and all those grifting creep criminals too!!
posted by one teak forest at 2:30 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
Anyway, suck it bannon and all those grifting creep criminals too!!
posted by one teak forest at 2:30 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
Trump seems disinclined to pardon people who aren't arrested for reasons directly associated with protecting him. He commuted Stone's sentence because Stone was arrested for lying on Trump's behalf; meanwhile Manafort went to jail for financial crimes, and while he lied for Trump, Trump hasn't done anything for him.
The other issue is that question about pardons and self-incrimination. Trump may actually understand that well enough not to trip himself on it.
posted by suelac at 2:32 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
The other issue is that question about pardons and self-incrimination. Trump may actually understand that well enough not to trip himself on it.
posted by suelac at 2:32 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Lock him up! Lock him Up!
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:36 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:36 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
They were Anthony Comstock's anti-porn goons back in the day
Holy shit, those dudes must be like a hundred and fifty years old!
Makes 'em even more amazing, frankly -- bunch of centenarians swarming a yacht with guns? Plus, you gotta assume they'd be sporting facial hair of staggering greatness.
posted by aramaic at 2:41 PM on August 20, 2020 [15 favorites]
Holy shit, those dudes must be like a hundred and fifty years old!
Makes 'em even more amazing, frankly -- bunch of centenarians swarming a yacht with guns? Plus, you gotta assume they'd be sporting facial hair of staggering greatness.
posted by aramaic at 2:41 PM on August 20, 2020 [15 favorites]
Finally! Bannon's pants caught fire four years ago, and they never stopped burning.
Good thing the USIPS... [*fumbles sunglasses*]... made this a priority.
posted by Iris Gambol at 2:50 PM on August 20, 2020 [26 favorites]
Good thing the USIPS... [*fumbles sunglasses*]... made this a priority.
posted by Iris Gambol at 2:50 PM on August 20, 2020 [26 favorites]
bunch of centenarians swarming a yacht with guns? Plus, you gotta assume they'd be sporting facial hair of staggering greatness.
With onions on their belts, which was the style at the time
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:05 PM on August 20, 2020 [8 favorites]
With onions on their belts, which was the style at the time
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:05 PM on August 20, 2020 [8 favorites]
A bunch of cop shows have been dumped recently. Could we please take one time slot for "US Postal Police"?
posted by Midnight Skulker at 3:05 PM on August 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by Midnight Skulker at 3:05 PM on August 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
I watched 'The Brink' a while ago. It was a really unsettling experience. As far as I can remember it opens with Mr. Bannon talking about how well organized the Nazi concentration camps were. It didn't get better from there, really.
I'm not an American and I don't live anywhere near there now, but I'm celebrating this too.
posted by jpziller at 3:11 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
I'm not an American and I don't live anywhere near there now, but I'm celebrating this too.
posted by jpziller at 3:11 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
A bunch of cop shows have been dumped recently. Could we please take one time slot for "US Postal Police"?.
Until a TV deal is enacted, Louis Gossett Jr. has you covered (and the excellently subtitled sequel).
posted by JDC8 at 3:44 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
Until a TV deal is enacted, Louis Gossett Jr. has you covered (and the excellently subtitled sequel).
posted by JDC8 at 3:44 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
Where was this energy when The Inspectors was on the air, eh?
posted by Coda at 3:50 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Coda at 3:50 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
Heyyyy, the folks behind Brooklyn 99 have been doing a lot of public soul searching lately. I'd really enjoy a Brooklyn 99 about mail fraud.
Jack Danger has good news for you!
posted by Huffy Puffy at 3:56 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
Jack Danger has good news for you!
posted by Huffy Puffy at 3:56 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
He's already got his defense all lined up:
When Bannon exited the courthouse a few minutes ago, he whipped off his mask, telling reporters: “This entire fiasco is to stop people who want to build the wall," @KaraScannell
reports.
https://twitter.com/eorden/status/1296580398592532481
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 4:12 PM on August 20, 2020
When Bannon exited the courthouse a few minutes ago, he whipped off his mask, telling reporters: “This entire fiasco is to stop people who want to build the wall," @KaraScannell
reports.
https://twitter.com/eorden/status/1296580398592532481
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 4:12 PM on August 20, 2020
What the fuck even is it. Like, back in Obama days you'd get the occasional dumb squawking about tan suits or fancy mustard or whatever, but you didn't have this sort of nihilistic dadaism on a day-to-day basis.
posted by Scattercat at 4:34 PM on August 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
posted by Scattercat at 4:34 PM on August 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
The guy who was arrested on a Chinese billionaire's yacht has to be a flight risk
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:57 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:57 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
Sean Illing of Vox wrote an illuminating article about Bannon and his strategy of 'nihilistic dadaism' (nice phrase, scattercat) earlier this year: "'Flood the zone with shit': How misinformation overwhelmed our democracy."
posted by PhineasGage at 5:00 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by PhineasGage at 5:00 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
mhum: Oh wait, forgot to mention that while Guo claims that he's in exile because of taking on corruption in the Chinese government, China claims that Guo is the one guilty of corruption (via bribery)
At this point I assume that everyone who is rich and powerful in China right now is corrupt. Getting rich and powerful in China in the 2010s is like getting a promotion in the NYPD in the 1960s - it's not gonna happen if you're squeaky clean. Any accusation of corruption is probably true, and is probably being made by someone who's even more corrupt.
posted by clawsoon at 5:03 PM on August 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
At this point I assume that everyone who is rich and powerful in China right now is corrupt. Getting rich and powerful in China in the 2010s is like getting a promotion in the NYPD in the 1960s - it's not gonna happen if you're squeaky clean. Any accusation of corruption is probably true, and is probably being made by someone who's even more corrupt.
posted by clawsoon at 5:03 PM on August 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
The guy [Bannon] who was arrested on a Chinese billionaire's yacht has to be a flight risk
Particularly considering the Chinese billionaire is using the yacht in his flight from Chinese extradition. It's already a designated extradition flight vehicle.
Bannon probably thought he was safe and didn't consider the Postal Service SEAL team.
posted by JackFlash at 5:13 PM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
Particularly considering the Chinese billionaire is using the yacht in his flight from Chinese extradition. It's already a designated extradition flight vehicle.
Bannon probably thought he was safe and didn't consider the Postal Service SEAL team.
posted by JackFlash at 5:13 PM on August 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
Trump thought he was getting boat parades. Not boat raids.
posted by bilabial at 5:17 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by bilabial at 5:17 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
This entire fiasco is to stop people who want to build the wall,"
Now your in Manhattan, talking like Berlin.
posted by clavdivs at 5:25 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
Now your in Manhattan, talking like Berlin.
posted by clavdivs at 5:25 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
Metafilter: nihilistic dadaism on a day-to-day basis
posted by paper chromatographologist at 5:27 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
posted by paper chromatographologist at 5:27 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
I see that Trump took some questions today. I think reporters are missing an opportunity here. Picture this:
Reporter: Mr. President, when did you realize you were wrong to choose Steve Bannon to be part of your team?
posted by mikelieman at 5:29 PM on August 20, 2020 [24 favorites]
Reporter: Mr. President, when did you realize you were wrong to choose Steve Bannon to be part of your team?
posted by mikelieman at 5:29 PM on August 20, 2020 [24 favorites]
Guo, photographed in the feature in a white suit and holding a Pomeranian.
Trump’s former chief strategist joins Guo in a chant of “Take down the CCP!” before Guo kisses Bannon on the cheek. Bannon the poster thing for moral decrepitude. This episode mentioned was the time of the airplanes and banners near the Statue of Liberty. This was the best single thing about the day, as far as the news goes, except that there were pictures.
posted by Oyéah at 6:00 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Trump’s former chief strategist joins Guo in a chant of “Take down the CCP!” before Guo kisses Bannon on the cheek. Bannon the poster thing for moral decrepitude. This episode mentioned was the time of the airplanes and banners near the Statue of Liberty. This was the best single thing about the day, as far as the news goes, except that there were pictures.
posted by Oyéah at 6:00 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
You know what would be a fun experiment is a GoFundMe that only pays out to Trump & co's potential legal fees for self-pardoning ONLY once Trump leaves office WITHOUT pardoning Bannon or himself (or his children). I don't care enough to start it or deal with the legalities, but I feel like something like this would have bipartisan appeal, and if it reaches, say, tens of millions, there might be a real chance he takes the bait.
And if it ever goes to court under a Dem president, dude is SO dying in jail. It would be fun to see if it works.
posted by saysthis at 6:26 PM on August 20, 2020
And if it ever goes to court under a Dem president, dude is SO dying in jail. It would be fun to see if it works.
posted by saysthis at 6:26 PM on August 20, 2020
I didn't even know the post office had a crack commando unit
A good friend's father-in-law was a forensic accountant with the IRS. He went on raids all the time and had one of those nylon windbreakers with "IRS" on the back. He didn't carry a gun like the other people involved (usually the DEA), but he did occasionally wear a Kevlar vest.
posted by sideshow at 6:39 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
A good friend's father-in-law was a forensic accountant with the IRS. He went on raids all the time and had one of those nylon windbreakers with "IRS" on the back. He didn't carry a gun like the other people involved (usually the DEA), but he did occasionally wear a Kevlar vest.
posted by sideshow at 6:39 PM on August 20, 2020 [10 favorites]
It's been an awful year, but good sweet lord, this story is just the gift that keeps on giving.
posted by thivaia at 6:48 PM on August 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by thivaia at 6:48 PM on August 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
He made bail.
posted by Melismata at 6:51 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Melismata at 6:51 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
This kind of makes up for my shitty Quarantine Birthday.
posted by theora55 at 7:05 PM on August 20, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by theora55 at 7:05 PM on August 20, 2020 [4 favorites]
i know i'm reaching way upthread for this but:
> In my mind-palace version of this all the agents storming the boat have blue postal uniforms and sensible shorts on.
omg though the only way this could be more eleanor shellstrop's thing is if the team were led by stone cold steve austin and the boat were full of shrimp
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 7:10 PM on August 20, 2020 [26 favorites]
> In my mind-palace version of this all the agents storming the boat have blue postal uniforms and sensible shorts on.
omg though the only way this could be more eleanor shellstrop's thing is if the team were led by stone cold steve austin and the boat were full of shrimp
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 7:10 PM on August 20, 2020 [26 favorites]
Right now Trump may be trying to distance himself from Bannon, and the two may well hate each other, but Bannon has all the juicy dirt. No way he's going to jail.
If only Wilford Brimley was still alive to interrogate him.
I wouldn't wish that on Brimley. He already tangled with a ravenous blob monster from outer space, and lost.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 7:21 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
If only Wilford Brimley was still alive to interrogate him.
I wouldn't wish that on Brimley. He already tangled with a ravenous blob monster from outer space, and lost.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 7:21 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
the only way this could be more eleanor shellstrop's thing is if the team were led by stone cold steve austin and the boat were full of shrimp
I legit just cackled
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:26 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
I legit just cackled
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:26 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
Ha! I’m laughing my Skank Army sweatpants off!
posted by mochapickle at 7:50 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by mochapickle at 7:50 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
So wanna know the front page headline at the New York Daily News tomorrow?
"Yachtzee!"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:52 PM on August 20, 2020 [22 favorites]
"Yachtzee!"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:52 PM on August 20, 2020 [22 favorites]
I would have also accepted Yachtzi.
posted by Marticus at 8:18 PM on August 20, 2020 [32 favorites]
posted by Marticus at 8:18 PM on August 20, 2020 [32 favorites]
Could he have been any more sunburnt? I mean they literally caught him red (as a lobster) handed.
Also - The Onion’s take.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 8:57 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
Also - The Onion’s take.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 8:57 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
Pleased to see The Onion's piece goes to the same place my brain did. Busy day at work today, but every few hours I'd remember Bannon was arrested this morning and think "ah yes, nature is healing," and chuckle quietly to myself.
posted by deludingmyself at 9:06 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by deludingmyself at 9:06 PM on August 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
Sad to see about Wilford Brimley. Guess he didnt get a FPP.
posted by Windopaene at 9:12 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Windopaene at 9:12 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
And just for added boat fun:
Twitter thread with documentation:
Brian Kolfage (the vet who was the "brains" and the public face of the Build The Wall scam) used some of the donated money to buy himself a nice 40-foot sporty cruiser . . . and sailed it in one of those pro-Trump boat parades on July 4th.
And then posted a video of it on Instagram.
posted by soundguy99 at 9:22 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Twitter thread with documentation:
Brian Kolfage (the vet who was the "brains" and the public face of the Build The Wall scam) used some of the donated money to buy himself a nice 40-foot sporty cruiser . . . and sailed it in one of those pro-Trump boat parades on July 4th.
And then posted a video of it on Instagram.
posted by soundguy99 at 9:22 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
He made bail.
I should hope so, he's on a sinking yacht!
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:24 PM on August 20, 2020 [12 favorites]
I should hope so, he's on a sinking yacht!
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:24 PM on August 20, 2020 [12 favorites]
Will we see planks being walked into shark-infested waters?
Or will the sharks refuse to be seen anywhere near this meatbag of rancid chum?
posted by Pouteria at 9:48 PM on August 20, 2020
Or will the sharks refuse to be seen anywhere near this meatbag of rancid chum?
posted by Pouteria at 9:48 PM on August 20, 2020
I have stolen
the cash
you gave me
for racism
and which
I was supposed to
have used
on the Wall
Forgive me
you are gullible
stupid
and so dumb
(allegedly)
@chaipatel0 via @IanDunt
posted by pw201 at 2:15 AM on August 21, 2020 [17 favorites]
the cash
you gave me
for racism
and which
I was supposed to
have used
on the Wall
Forgive me
you are gullible
stupid
and so dumb
(allegedly)
@chaipatel0 via @IanDunt
posted by pw201 at 2:15 AM on August 21, 2020 [17 favorites]
Bannon probably thought he was safe and didn't consider the Postal Service SEAL team.
No one does. Their chief weapons are fear, surprise, and an almost fanatical devotion to Wilford Brimley.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:04 AM on August 21, 2020 [15 favorites]
No one does. Their chief weapons are fear, surprise, and an almost fanatical devotion to Wilford Brimley.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:04 AM on August 21, 2020 [15 favorites]
And nice uniforms.
posted by flabdablet at 6:22 AM on August 21, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 6:22 AM on August 21, 2020 [2 favorites]
My wife just learned this morning that Bannon was arrested by the Postal Service and laughed so hard for so long she got a stitch in her side.
So there's that.
posted by nubs at 7:52 AM on August 21, 2020 [21 favorites]
So there's that.
posted by nubs at 7:52 AM on August 21, 2020 [21 favorites]
from this Politico piece. It's about Bannon but it may as well apply to his former boss.
“For someone who traffics in greed and divisiveness and is part of a group of people who just have no regard for the law, this is the predictable outcome.”
Interesting times what with a former prosecutor now looking to be the next Vice-President.
posted by philip-random at 9:45 AM on August 21, 2020 [1 favorite]
“For someone who traffics in greed and divisiveness and is part of a group of people who just have no regard for the law, this is the predictable outcome.”
Interesting times what with a former prosecutor now looking to be the next Vice-President.
posted by philip-random at 9:45 AM on August 21, 2020 [1 favorite]
Loving that the courtroom sketch makes him look like he's trapped inside a sad remake of A-Ha's Take on Me video.
🎵 So needless to say
He's got crooked friends
They should put them away
Slowly learning that fraud ain't ok
Steve, say after me
It's not even safe on a yacht at sea 🎵
posted by inflatablekiwi at 12:34 PM on August 21, 2020 [10 favorites]
🎵 So needless to say
He's got crooked friends
They should put them away
Slowly learning that fraud ain't ok
Steve, say after me
It's not even safe on a yacht at sea 🎵
posted by inflatablekiwi at 12:34 PM on August 21, 2020 [10 favorites]
Lady May - this yacht is incredibly huge. It is bigger than my house.
Bannon is one of many people who have cycled through the administration. After they exit, are they getting burned and cast aside from the establishment? Or are they somehow using their criminal convictions, or presidential pink slips, to springboard into the next stage of their political careers?
Also - I remember hearing about people fundraising, gofundmeing, etc., for years. Is this *the* fundraiser, or is this one of many?
- are these ppl burning their political cred, or are they springboardinng? How many wall building fundraisers were there?
posted by rebent at 1:05 PM on August 21, 2020 [2 favorites]
Bannon is one of many people who have cycled through the administration. After they exit, are they getting burned and cast aside from the establishment? Or are they somehow using their criminal convictions, or presidential pink slips, to springboard into the next stage of their political careers?
Also - I remember hearing about people fundraising, gofundmeing, etc., for years. Is this *the* fundraiser, or is this one of many?
- are these ppl burning their political cred, or are they springboardinng? How many wall building fundraisers were there?
posted by rebent at 1:05 PM on August 21, 2020 [2 favorites]
Also - I remember hearing about people fundraising, gofundmeing, etc., for years. Is this *the* fundraiser, or is this one of many?
I mean, there were plenty of attempts to drum up popular support for building a wall (or to claim that building a wall was already really popular), and there were probably a few attempts to fundraise for it, but this was definitely the Big One that got attention from Trump hisownself and got pushed by Fox (The Daily Beast: How Fox News Helped Boost Bannon’s ‘We Build the Wall’ Fiasco) and wound up in the mainstream news a few times over conflicts and complications (The Daily Beast: ‘We Build the Wall’ Victim: ‘I Wish Them Well in Their Cavity Searches’ has, besides the wonderfully snarky quote, a pretty good timeline & rundown of the whole clusterfuck.)
posted by soundguy99 at 3:04 PM on August 21, 2020 [4 favorites]
I mean, there were plenty of attempts to drum up popular support for building a wall (or to claim that building a wall was already really popular), and there were probably a few attempts to fundraise for it, but this was definitely the Big One that got attention from Trump hisownself and got pushed by Fox (The Daily Beast: How Fox News Helped Boost Bannon’s ‘We Build the Wall’ Fiasco) and wound up in the mainstream news a few times over conflicts and complications (The Daily Beast: ‘We Build the Wall’ Victim: ‘I Wish Them Well in Their Cavity Searches’ has, besides the wonderfully snarky quote, a pretty good timeline & rundown of the whole clusterfuck.)
posted by soundguy99 at 3:04 PM on August 21, 2020 [4 favorites]
Kolfage is a terrible person. Just a huge grifter who has done this over and over and over again, and has gotten away with defrauding military hospitals, service dog organizations, PTSD organizations, etc. etc for years. Glad they got him.
Yup. WaPo from 2019. (Also has some insight on the kind of person who donates.)
posted by Melismata at 4:01 PM on August 21, 2020
Yup. WaPo from 2019. (Also has some insight on the kind of person who donates.)
posted by Melismata at 4:01 PM on August 21, 2020
Or are they somehow using their criminal convictions, or presidential pink slips, to springboard into the next stage of their political careers?
If I was a grifter who had top secret level access to presidential briefings I could probably make a good living off of it by leaking other countries' secrets to billionaires
posted by benzenedream at 4:18 PM on August 21, 2020 [3 favorites]
If I was a grifter who had top secret level access to presidential briefings I could probably make a good living off of it by leaking other countries' secrets to billionaires
posted by benzenedream at 4:18 PM on August 21, 2020 [3 favorites]
About wall money and boats, it seems that in 2019 Bannon admitted publicly that is exactly what happened. Except, he and Kolfage were laughing because he was joking. Or so he was trying to imply...
posted by njohnson23 at 4:43 PM on August 21, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by njohnson23 at 4:43 PM on August 21, 2020 [5 favorites]
> If I was a grifter who had top secret level access to presidential briefings I could probably make a good living off of it by leaking other countries' secrets to billionaires
something that's going to be real difficult for the (tttcs) biden administration to handle is the fact that an array of grifters, dirtbags, and rich dipshits likely have serious state secrets and have likely spent the last four years selling them to anyone who asks. the sheer fact of that is bad, but the uncertainty that that produces is perhaps worse.
tangent: can you imagine how much work it's going to be to get the white house fit for a president to inhabit, once trump vacates it? like, we can assume that kislyak and lavrov and god knows how many other people have secreted away a thousand high-tech surveillance devices all over the joint.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 6:12 PM on August 21, 2020 [11 favorites]
something that's going to be real difficult for the (tttcs) biden administration to handle is the fact that an array of grifters, dirtbags, and rich dipshits likely have serious state secrets and have likely spent the last four years selling them to anyone who asks. the sheer fact of that is bad, but the uncertainty that that produces is perhaps worse.
tangent: can you imagine how much work it's going to be to get the white house fit for a president to inhabit, once trump vacates it? like, we can assume that kislyak and lavrov and god knows how many other people have secreted away a thousand high-tech surveillance devices all over the joint.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 6:12 PM on August 21, 2020 [11 favorites]
Top secret classified Jared ultra only: Active volcano contains giant diamond easily accessible via ladder, only waiting for Patriot of steely resolve and Pale complexion to take it from the local shit country locals.
posted by benzenedream at 9:00 PM on August 21, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by benzenedream at 9:00 PM on August 21, 2020 [4 favorites]
> About wall money and boats, it seems that in 2019 Bannon admitted publicly that is exactly what happened. Except, he and Kolfage were laughing because he was joking. Or so he was trying to imply...
Video
posted by christopherious at 9:00 PM on August 21, 2020
Video
posted by christopherious at 9:00 PM on August 21, 2020
Obligatory safety sign
That's an ice cold burn that will be felt even after the polar ice caps melt.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:57 PM on August 21, 2020 [1 favorite]
That's an ice cold burn that will be felt even after the polar ice caps melt.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:57 PM on August 21, 2020 [1 favorite]
Long form expose on the grifter Brian Kolfage:Behind the Bastards: The Whole Story Behind that 'We Build the Wall' GoFundMe. From Jan 2019...this con man has been known for a long time.
posted by mcstayinskool at 8:58 AM on August 22, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by mcstayinskool at 8:58 AM on August 22, 2020 [6 favorites]
this con man has been known for a long time.
This phrase - this evidence that indisputably self-serving destructive behavior in pursuit of power and money is allowed to happen and continue happening, without consequence - is a consummate summary of the root of my cynical contempt for human society.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:15 AM on August 22, 2020 [12 favorites]
This phrase - this evidence that indisputably self-serving destructive behavior in pursuit of power and money is allowed to happen and continue happening, without consequence - is a consummate summary of the root of my cynical contempt for human society.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:15 AM on August 22, 2020 [12 favorites]
Tonight, the Daily Beast reported that Jared Kushner—who after, all, could not get a security clearance until Trump overruled authorities-- has been using a secret back channel to communicate with a Putin representative. According to the story, Steve Bannon, who was arrested on Friday by the acting U.S. Attorney at the Southern District of New York and so now has an excellent reason to flip, knew all about it. - Letters from An American, Aug. 23, 2020
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:39 AM on August 24, 2020 [7 favorites]
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:39 AM on August 24, 2020 [7 favorites]
Federal Prosecutors Have Steve Bannon’s Murky Nonprofit in Their Sights (ProPublica, Aug. 24, 2020) Tucked at the bottom of the long indictment against Bannon, prosecutors say they want to seize the assets of his nonprofit Citizens of the American Republic, shedding more light on the secretive political group’s finances.
"The document also sheds light on an oblique financial trail linking a loose-knit group of private businesses and nonprofit organizations politically aligned with Trump. In addition to Bannon’s nonprofit and We Build the Wall, federal investigators are moving to seize assets from four other entities, including two affiliated with Kolfage — a defunct right-wing news site called Freedom Daily that operated out of Florida and America First Medical, a medical supplies company Kolfage formed in Wyoming to sell masks in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic."
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:26 PM on August 24, 2020 [4 favorites]
"The document also sheds light on an oblique financial trail linking a loose-knit group of private businesses and nonprofit organizations politically aligned with Trump. In addition to Bannon’s nonprofit and We Build the Wall, federal investigators are moving to seize assets from four other entities, including two affiliated with Kolfage — a defunct right-wing news site called Freedom Daily that operated out of Florida and America First Medical, a medical supplies company Kolfage formed in Wyoming to sell masks in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic."
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:26 PM on August 24, 2020 [4 favorites]
Sub-par materials on silty, unstable riverbank, and already showing signs of significant erosion damage = New Engineering Report Finds Privately Built Border Wall Will Fail (Pro Publica, Sept. 2, 2020) Donations that paid for part of the border fence are at the heart of an indictment against members of the We Build the Wall nonprofit, which raised more than $25 million to help President Donald Trump build a border wall. Former Trump chief strategist Steve Bannon, We Build the Wall founder Brian Kolfage and two others connected to the organization are accused of siphoning donor money to pay off personal debt and fund lavish lifestyles. All four, who face up to 20 years in prison on each of the two counts they face, have pleaded not guilty, and Bannon has called the charges a plot to stop border wall construction.
We Build the Wall, whose executive board is made up of influential immigration hard-liners like Bannon, Kris Kobach and Tom Tancredo, contributed $1.5 million of the cost of the $42 million private border fence project south of Mission, Texas. [...] The next court hearing regarding the pending federal lawsuits is scheduled for Sept. 10.
This $42 million "wall" is three miles of shoddy fencing poised to tumble into the Rio Grande. Tommy Fisher, of North Dakota's Fisher Sand and Gravel, "has said said he wants to donate the Rio Grande fence to the federal government as well, although it’s unclear whether the government will take it." As Pro Publica reported on July 2, Fisher has leveraged his self-described “Lamborghini” of walls to win more than $1.7 billion worth of federal contracts in Arizona.
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:18 PM on September 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
We Build the Wall, whose executive board is made up of influential immigration hard-liners like Bannon, Kris Kobach and Tom Tancredo, contributed $1.5 million of the cost of the $42 million private border fence project south of Mission, Texas. [...] The next court hearing regarding the pending federal lawsuits is scheduled for Sept. 10.
This $42 million "wall" is three miles of shoddy fencing poised to tumble into the Rio Grande. Tommy Fisher, of North Dakota's Fisher Sand and Gravel, "has said said he wants to donate the Rio Grande fence to the federal government as well, although it’s unclear whether the government will take it." As Pro Publica reported on July 2, Fisher has leveraged his self-described “Lamborghini” of walls to win more than $1.7 billion worth of federal contracts in Arizona.
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:18 PM on September 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
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posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 11:29 AM on August 20, 2020 [14 favorites]